Within Temptation
by Genevieve Lee
Summary: Two years after Christine left him, Erik decides he is not going to be alone any longer. He resolves to put his fortune into good use and to pay for a woman’s hand in marriage, and he doesn’t just choose any woman…EC in the beginning and then goes to EoW.
1. Dark Contentions

Within Temptations©  
Chapter One: Dark Contentions  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_And Goodness knows  
The Wicked's lives are lonely  
Goodness knows  
The Wicked die alone  
It just shows when you're Wicked  
You're left only  
On your own_

_No One Mourns The Wicked, Wicked the musical_

--

I had planned everything out so carefully, using all my thoughts and skills. It had only taken a short time to put my plans into action, to get those blundering fools of managers to obey my rules. To obey the way _I_ wanted to play the game. It was all quite simple, really.

Then I learned of their plans for me. That they would play my game, but knowing I would attend their performance, would be sure of my capture. They figured that Christine would bait me, and that entranced by her, I would accidentally reveal myself to them. The gendarmes would be waiting for me in my usual box: box five. If only they knew I was going to do much more than watch.

Oh, how those fools underestimated me.

What I did not realize at that time was that I was also underestimating Christine's entire control over me. The way her complete and utter innocence and naiveté drew me in like a fly to the preying mantis. It was ironic, really. Usually I was the one to draw forth my prey, to keep them utterly fascinated until they died at my hand so quickly they didn't even know what hit them. Perhaps it was better that way; to be lured away from life by absolute wonderment and curiosity and being killed so quickly that they had no idea what hit them. At least _I _would prefer that rather than knowing I had been defeated.

But that night, I was determined to not be defeated. My plans had been completely different until she had decided to do the thing that would hurt me most: rip off my mask. Rather than being filled with embarrassment and remorse, as I should have been, I was filled with anger. Complete, uncontrollable, anger.

It was not the simple fact that she had revealed my most hideous secret to an entire theatre filled with people of high society, not that it quite mattered, but that she thought she could rid of me that easily. To simply embarrass me and run away with her precious Victome. The thought filled me with such rage; I took her from under everyone's careful gaze. Trick me, would they? It was taking much longer than necessary to prove I was not a person to be reckoned with. I could not so easily be tricked and brushed aside as if I had never existed.

But those imbeciles did not understand and so they would have to learn the hard way.

I forced her to put on the dress, the_ wedding_ dress I had bought her to contribute to my crazy dreams of one day taking her as my wife as a normal man would. It took me quite some time to realize this would never happen, even when I kidnapped her and took her to my world below on that fateful night. I knew exactly what I was going to do to get my way, to get _her_. All I had to do was wait…

And of course I did not wait long. The Victome arrived in very little time, barley allowing Christine enough to try and commit suicide. I caught her of course, laughing at her feeble attempt of escape. When the boy showed up, I could see the hope sparkle in her eyes, and I almost felt remorse about what I was going to do. _Almost_.

I forced her to choose. I was very generous, giving her two different choices rather than just taking her; now realizing that is what I _should_ have done. She either was allowed to go free, and her young man would die, or she could stay with me and he would leave unscathed. Either way, I got something satisfactory out of it, though quite honestly if she had chosen me I would have probably gone out and killed the boy later so he would not pose as a threat for any time in the future.

My plan was flawless. There was no way out of it. I had the upper hand, and I was determined to keep it. Though that conniving snake of a woman wasn't done with me yet and she used her most powerful force against me.

Her love.

And she kissed me! It was the first kiss I had ever received in my life, and now thinking back, it will probably also be the only kiss. She kissed me with such passion; I felt it hard to believe that she was acting on the boy's sake. I pulled back and ordered her to go, and I thought for one fleeting moment that she did love me, and would stay with me. But when she obliged to my commands and left, I knew she had been, indeed, acting. I was foolish to believe she would ever love me.

My first thoughts when she was gone were I should just kill myself and end my useless existence. There was nothing to live for now that _she_ was gone. But there was a little voice in the back of my mind whispering not to do it, to keep living, to keep trying.

And so I did.

I stumbled through the tunnels away from the mob, knowing I would never come back. I was on the first ship across the English Channel and within a week, I had a new home in the country alone. The quiet existence was nice. I could live alone with my music. But after over a year, I grew quite bored. One thing I did to keep from going insane was read the social column in the Paris newspaper I had especially delivered to my home quite often. I frequently read things about the balls and parties _they_ attended, how happy they were, and many other trivial things.

It was only when I read they were expecting a child that I cancelled the paper and went into a drunken rage for almost a week. I stopped finding out about their life for good, only finding the excruciating hole in my chest rip open every time I read the words _Christine de Chagny_. I went numb to any kind of feeling for quite a few months after that. I did not leave my home, and instead had everything I needed be delivered. I never spoke. I never sang. I even abandoned my music.

It was exactly two years after Christine left me that I was finally tired of being alone. Yes, I had figuratively been alone my whole life, but those two years were probably the loneliest in my life. It was that night that I vowed I would not be alone anymore. I had plenty of money, and I might as well put it to good use. An idea began forming in my head before I could stop it, and then I knew exactly what I was going to do. Only a choice, a letter, and a little more planning would be required.

I was going to find a wife.

--


	2. Couldn't Be Happier

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Two: Couldn't Be Happier  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_Look what we've got:  
a fairy-tale plot.  
Our very own happy ending,  
where we couldn't be happier._

_Thank Goodness, Wicked the musical_

--

_The Johnson Family  
Requests the pleasure of your company  
At a ball in honor of the engagement of  
Sir George Johnson  
And his fiancée Catherine Michaels  
On the evening of Friday  
The thirteenth of April  
At seven o'clock at the following address:  
5742 Spruce Street  
In the city of London_

_Costumes are required_

--

_Audrey_

I tossed the invitation down on the small table next to me and eyed my mother carefully. "Please Mama, do not make me go. I have barley returned from France. Plus, Miss Michaels and I have never gotten along." I leaned back against the chaise I was on and gave a light sigh, blowing the wispy ends of my hair away from my face.

"It would be taken as a very serious slight if we were not there. You know your father is rather good business friends with Sir George's father."

"Yes I know," I responded dryly as I twisted a piece of my golden hair round and round my finger. It was a disgusting habit I had picked up on during the long carriage rides on my trip to Paris. I needed to stop, and I would. Tomorrow. "I suppose I will go, only for the sake of being seen though, mind you. Please do not parade every eligible man in front of me," I said, speaking slowly as if that would help me get my point across, although as I spoke I knew I would be dancing with every cousin, every friend's brother, or with young widowed fathers.

"Audrey, your season is beginning in only a month's time. It is time to be considering a husband."

"_Considering_, Mother. I am not obligated to do any such until my debut. I will think of no man seriously until I wear ostrich feathers in my hair with a beautiful gown of white and purple silk, and not until the moment I curtsey before the queen," I informed her matter-of-factly as I slipped the invitation into my hand again and gazed at the time it begun. My voice left no opportunity for any more discussion on the matter. "Seven o'clock. Yes, it is an early ball and we shall be able to leave before eleven so that I may sleep in my own bed." I read the last line and raised an eyebrow. "Costumes required? Why mother, what ever did you have in mind for such a thing on short notice?"

She hesitated, and I rolled my eyes skyward.

"It's no matter. I have had a costume in my head ever since I visited the _Moulin Rouge_ in Paris."

I looked up expectantly at my mother as I saw all the color drain from her face. "Oh dear Audrey, please tell me you did not visit that awful place!"

I grinned as I tossed the invitation carelessly aside as an evil glint filled my eyes. "Oh yes Mother, and it is not such an awful place. The Can-Can is quite the interesting dance."

My mother closed her eyes and raised her hands up as in prayer before crossing herself and hooking me with her icy stares. "Audrey, please do not mention such a thing at the ball or anytime else."

"I shan't, though I do not see what the huge deal is. It is considered a form of art, Mama. Maybe one day I will take you and you can change your opinion on it. Now," I said folding my hands delicately into my lap, "I will take care of my costume. I was thinking perhaps a shepherdess?" I questioned innocently, to which my mother grinned in reply.

"That sounds like a fine choice. Why don't you take your sister with you and you can get a costume together?"

I nodded. "Of course I shall take Rachel." I had never minded my younger sister.

"Don't forget Sarah," she added, referring to my personal maid. Catching my unhappy expression, she said, "You are not to leave without a chaperone. You know that."

I rolled my eyes as I stood. "I thought perhaps you would admit I had grown up in my time in France."

"You are still only seventeen years old, may I remind you. Still considered a girl until your coming out."

"I may be seventeen now, but next week I will be eighteen. Then my life will finally begin." I gave a light sigh. "Eighteen, what a splendid age," I purred as I walked from the room, images of tonight's ball in my mind. I had been gone for almost a month and I had to make sure the other girls my age hadn't forgotten their place: which was below me.

I quickly found my younger sister, Rachel, and sent for my maid, Sarah, who would be our chaperone. We were quickly loaded into the carriage and sent rattling down the street towards the shops.

--

Of course I wasn't a shepherdess. Such a costume was too _safe_, especially for a girl who had just returned from Paris. As my mother had not accompanied us on our trips to the shops, I easily purchased my costume, while helping Rachel buy hers, which, ironically, was a shepherdess. At least my mother would be satisfied with one of our costumes.

As soon as I returned home, I hurried to my room with my purchases, snapping at my maid to hurry so she could help me dress. Once she was in the room, I quickly shimmied out of the mauve dress I had slipped into earlier that day before ordering Sarah to fasten my corset.

I gasped at a brutal tug before turning to look at myself in the mirror. I was not quite satisfied with what I saw. "Tighter," I ordered, turning back to her. She did as she was told with no protest, as was usually her nature, as it should be. She was my personal maid after all. Hired to help me get ready and keep my living space clean, not to share her opinion with me everywhere I turned. I had had a maid of that nature once, who had the nerve to call me a hussy who was letting boys "in my knickers without being married" I think were her exact words. I turned her out into the streets within the next hour.

The accusation was false, of course. Yes, I had occasionally snuck into coatrooms with boys to test their kissing expertise, most of which were not satisfactory, but I had never let a boy have me _that_ way. My virtue was far more important to me than to let it go so easily, something I was saving for _that boy_.

My parents and I had agreed I would not have an arranged marriage long ago. I wanted love, something I knew my parents did not have. True, they did not hate each other, but they were a team in the very most. They did what they needed to do to raise their family, keep the household running, and of course keep our appearances as white and crisp as a pillowcase. My older sister, Jacqueline, was the one who upheld these standards with the most seriousness. She was exactly what my parents wanted me to be even though she was only a year older.

The truth was I saw Jackie sneaking out practically every night to be with the stable boy. I think she rather fancied him, and if not for her class, would may even marry the boy. She kept up her prim and proper façade as to not arouse suspicions about her secret affair. She had actually debuted last year and had yet to marry, which was quite the small embarrassment for our family. Not that she hadn't been proposed to, because in reality she had been, many times, but 

none seemed good enough for her. Yet she was always with a boy in a place where horses slept. I was quite sure Jackie would always be a mystery to me.

I knew I would never marry for reasons benefiting my parents or his, but for love. Not that I would marry out of my class, of course. The idea alone was quite absurd. Not only would my parents disown me, but I also had no desire in leaving the wealth and comfort in which I lived in now. In fact, I had my eyes set upon a certain someone…

His name was James Hollingsworth and he was everything I could ever want. He was of my class, obviously, and very handsome. I have fancied him ever since we were children, and he seemed to return it, more so than me. I happen to know that his father wants to someday run for Parliament, and in order for that to happen, he must have a good family image. I have heard more than once that he is expecting James to settle down within the next few months. Perhaps, just perhaps, I would be the woman he chose. And if that wasn't the case, I would make life for anyone else he chose a living hell.

So, that was why that night had to go perfectly. I had been gone for over month visiting family in Paris and it was time to establish my place again. And what better way to do it than with an eye-catching costume? I easily secured a costume that was of my preference rather than my mother's. I knew she was going to faint at the sight of me in it: the sight of me as a Can-Can dancer.

But the costume was tasteful, let me assure you. It's nothing like you probably have envisioned in your mind right now. I wore a plain black gown that reached the floor and had a small train in the back. The bodice hugged me quite tightly, showing off my womanly curves. The top was a square cut and showed only the bare minimum décolletage, but it was enough to gain the attention of every man in the room. Keeping the attention of men was not a very difficult task for me.

The challenging part of the costume was finding a corset that applied to my needs. As most know, corsets are to be bound underneath the woman's gown, but not the one I had in mind. You see, I had fastened my real corset tightly so that when I added the extra one; it would not make me look any larger. This corset that I had fastened over my extravagant silk gown was a deep coral color, with black beads and ribbon running off of every side of it. The reddish color matched the ribbons in my hair, and the black pearls that were fastened into different sections of the curly tendrils.

Sarah had then applied dark makeup around my eyes, making their icy blue depths look smoldering. My already rosy lips were painted an extreme red, and finally when I pulled back to look at my reflection, I was satisfied.

I dismissed Sarah and checked my reflection once more before going into the hallway to meet my fourteen-year-old sister, who eyed me worriedly.

"Mother is not going to like that."

I grinned, glowing at the compliment. "Exactly," I droned as I looped my arm through hers and descended down the stairs where my mother would be waiting.

Rachel giggled. "Oh, Audrey! Won't Mother be cross with you?"

I gave a playful roll of my eyes. "Of course, my dear sister. But that is precisely the point! She needs to learn before my debut that she cannot control me. If she could, I would be engaged to Sir Ruth Fairchild by now." I shuddered as I said the name of the middle-aged man who always became too friendly with his dance partners. He was single for a reason, though he had proposed to many, including my older sister Jacqueline and myself. He would probably be on one knee in front of Rachel within the next few years. But, I had already warned my young sister.

We finally reached the bottom of the steps where my parents stood, waiting for us. My father smiled to see his daughters so well turned out, but all the color drained from my mother's face.

"Audrey! What have you done?" she demanded, turning a delightful shade of red.

"Why, whatever is the problem, dearest?" my father asked, eyeing me carefully to see if he could detect the fault in me. He could not.

"Oh, Father, you know how Mother gets. She wanted me to be a shepherdess but such a costume is far too _plain_ when I am about to make my debut. I need to catch the attention of as many men as I can if I am to make a proper marriage." I then let my lips slide themselves into a charming pout as I eyed my father sweetly.

"Oh, Veronica. The girl is fine!" my father said, giving a great booming laugh as he took her arm. "She is wearing nothing improper and will be the talk of the ball!"

My mother gave a great sigh, letting her eyes scan over me once again. "I suppose it's alright." She then looked over at Rachel who was standing awkwardly next to me. "Oh, dear Rachel! You look simply splendid in that costume!"

Her face broke out into a smile when the attention was focused on her. I had always thought that she was jealous of the attention Jackie and I received, but then again, we were the eldest, and when the time came for her debut, the interest would be shifted.

"Thank you Mother!" She then carefully looked our mother up and down before letting her eyes fall to Father. "Whom are you going as?" she asked curiously.

"Antigone and Haimon," I answered before my parents could say a word. Rachel gave me a strange look and I gave the lightest of shrugs. "What? Miss Marion taught us the story of Antigone."

"Oh, dear! What is it?"

"Come on my jewels, we will be late," my father said, ushering the three of us outside to the carriage. Jackie would not be coming with us, for she had taken ill, but coming out and seeing the stable boy, Johnny, sitting outside, I knew she had other plans.

As we walked to the carriage, I told Rachel the catastrophic story of _Antigone_. "It was written by Sophocles in 442 BC. Antigone and her sister Ismene had lost their brothers in a war, one that they were fighting against each other. Only one would get a proper burial, the one who was fighting for the kingdom, but Antigone couldn't stand watching her other brother be thrown carelessly aside. She buries him, but is caught by the king, Creon. He sentences her to starve to death in a cave, but finally his son, Haimon, convinces him to release her, as she had done what is right. He finally agrees, because he knows Haimon is in love with Antigone.

"Haimon makes his way to save Antigone, but she has already committed suicide in the cave, hanging herself as her mother, Jocasta, had done, and Creon then finds Haimon leaning over Antigone's body. Haimon threatens Creon, before stabbing himself and taking his own life. Creon's wife, Eurydice, also kills herself in grief over the death of her son," I finished, sighing at the tragedy of it all.

Rachel only wrinkled her nose. "What a strange story."

"It's terribly romantic if you ask me," I replied, crossing my arms as I watched London pass by the carriage windows. "They both died for love, for each other and for Antigone's brother."

"Such odd names," she said, looking away from me.

I snorted, and shook my head. "Never mind. I suppose you are not affected by it."

"I like _Cinderella_," she said brightly.

"The one by Mister Perrault?" I asked, glancing up briefly. She nodded eagerly and I smiled, glancing down at my hands again. I was never one for fairy tales, unlike Rachel. I tried to never spoil them for her, and so when she mentioned them, I typically kept my mouth shut.

We arrived in very little time, and when we did, the Johnson's manor was aflame with lights, with many elegant carriages, including our own, pulling up to let the even more elegant people coming out. Once we walked inside, Rachel, my mother, and myself walked over to a table where the dance cards were set up. They were extravagantly decorated with pink lace and off-white pearls on tan paper. I glanced at the numerous dances and sighed, imagining what kind of men I would have to dance with. I would have to dance one with my father of course, but my parents would mostly decide the rest. If I was lucky, I might perhaps just gain a dance with Mister Hollingsworth.

After we had retrieved the dance cards, I followed my parents around, meeting people, and saying hello to dear uncles and cousins. I curtsied and answered questions about Paris, and finally after about an hour, my mother turned me loose, and I quickly left to find my friends.

I found them in one of the many card rooms. This one was decorated with beautiful pink silk draperies and big, comfortable chairs to match. Lush white carpet sat below our feet, and a large fireplace took up the majority of the wall to the left. An enormous family portrait took up the wall opposite. I paused to examine it and I recognized Sir George, his father, and assumed that the other two people in the picture were his mother and sister. The painting was horrendously done, and I personally thought the artist should have been shot, but no matter. I turned to my friends who were sitting and gossiping about someone I had never heard of.

"Abigail! Claire!" I crooned as I came in, in a rustle of silk.

"Audrey!" Both girls squealed, jumping up to embrace me.

"It's splendid to see you girls!" I said with all honesty as I embraced the brunette and the redhead.

"London has dearly missed you," Abigail said, pulling away and returning to her seat. I observed her frizzy hair, although if you were being kind I suppose you could call it curly, and felt superiority about my own features. Abigail had a turned up nose and intensely green eyes. Although she had protected her complexion throughout childhood, she still had many freckles sprinkled on her face, as was a problem with many redheads. She was short and kind of stocky, and overall not very pretty.

"And I have missed it! Now, tell me what I have neglected to see in my absence. Whom were you discussing earlier, when I came in?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow as I seated myself at a chair adjacent to Claire and next to Abigail.

"Oh, a new woman to society!" Claire jumped in straight away, lifting her eyebrows in mock astonishment. She was a tall girl, but very well endowed in the chest region. Her eyes were brown and boring, and her hair usually hung down her back, straight as a board and a dull brown color. She had a pleasant heart-shaped face, but practically non-existent lips.

"And who, pray tell, is this girl?" It seemed I would have to drag it out of them.

"Her name is Carmen. She married the Comte!"

"Montague?" I questioned.

Abigail nodded, her hair shaking pitifully with the gesture. "Yes, I believe he met her while vacationing in Spain."

"Spain?" I asked quizzically. "Now that is odd. Have you been introduced yet?"

Both girls shook their heads and I grinned.

"No time like the present!" I piped; standing from my seat and beckoned them follow. I needed one slice of London gossip before I went home for the night.

Upon entering the main ballroom, I spotted my mother on the other side standing with several people. I expertly shielded myself behind Abigail, hoping that is I hid from her I would not have to dance with one of the eligible bachelors that were constantly thrown at me. Eligible they may be, but nothing I was looking for. Finally, we stopped in a secluded corner where Claire gestured with a wave of her fan the girl whom we were seeking.

She had a lovely oval shaped face. Her skin was not as dark as I had presumed, but more of an olive tone. Her eyes were a light brown from what I could tell and I continued to let my sapphire ones scan over her like something in a window display. She was petite, probably about the same height as me. She had a slim frame that was covered with what appeared to be a gypsy costume. The dress had white billowing sleeves with gold and black lace at the ends. The bodice was black, and I noticed, with disdain, that it was in a corset style; very similar to the one _I_ was wearing. The skirt was a shimmering gold that matched the bangles that lined both her wrists. Her hair was braided into a crown around her head, leaving a few strands to dangle in front of her eyes.

"That's her!" Abigail said, pointing quite noticeably, causing the Spaniard to glance at us.

"Can you be any more obvious?" I asked irritably, slapping her hand down.

She rubbed the now red spot and mumbled a barley coherent apology. I ignored her though, and turned to grin evilly at Claire.

"I am going to go introduce myself."

"That is a good idea. I haven't met her yet!" she said excitedly, walking forward to join me.

"I said _I_ was going to meet her. You will have your chance another time. _Au Revoir_," I said cattily, striding away. I always preferred to do my belittling alone. I did not want people to think I needed Claire and Abigail to help establish my place.

But before I could make my way to the new woman, the man I had been hoping to see all night simultaneously appeared. I grinned, deciding the new woman could wait.

"Dear Mister Hollingsworth, I suppose you did not receive the proper invitation, for the bottom of the card, I do recall it said that costumes were required," I said smoothly, observing James as he walked up to me in his formal black tails.

"But that is where you are wrong, Miss Cross. I have come as a gentlemen," he said lifting my hand to his lips.

"A gentlemen?" I questioned as he kissed my knuckle rather than his own thumb, as a true gentlemen should. "That is quite the challenge."

He gave a laugh as he released my hand. "I suppose it is, but with the help from a lady such as yourself, it shouldn't be too difficult." The music to the waltz started up and he smiled, holding out his hand. "May I take this dance?"

I gave a light grin, opening my fan and waving my face with it casually. "I am sorry to reject you good sir, but I fear I must. I have promised Mister Williams I would dance the waltz with him."

"But see here," he took my arm gently and turned me towards the outskirts of the ballroom and pointed, "Mister Williams seems to have consumed too many spirits."

I looked, and he, indeed, seemed to be stumbling around and lost. It was doubtful he would remember our dance. I looked back to James and pouted. "Well then, that leaves me without a partner. Whatever shall I do?"

Without asking my permission he swept me up into the dance, holding me closer than what was proper, but nobody around was paying attention. He leaned in close, his breath tickling my ear.

"You are an exceptional dancer Miss Cross," he whispered making me shiver in affect.

"Yes, I suppose I am learning something at Woldingham," I said, laughing at the mention of my top finishing school.

He twirled me rather roughly and caught me against his chest, his hand venturing away from my lower back and I could not help but blush. The dance soon ended and I curtsied before catching Claire's eyes that were peering queerly at me from across the ballroom.

_I suppose I should go see what her prying eyes are all about._

"Well thank you for the dance but I am in need of some lemonade I'm afraid. I shall go join Miss Claire."

"Wait," he caught my hand as I turned away and I caught my breath as I looked into his eyes.

"Yes?" I asked nonchalantly as I pulled my own hand delicately away.

"Will you meet me in the cloak room in fifteen minutes?" he asked, his eyes hopeful.

My blood raced through my veins, though from my casual outside appearance you could not tell. "I suppose I could."

He nodded, smiling as an adorable lock of hair landed in his face. "Thank you for making time for me Miss Cross," he said sarcastically before bounding away towards his family but not before flashing me another smile.

Feeling giddy, I made my way over to Claire where I was immediately assaulted with questions. I threw a sly glance to our chaperones that were standing nearby, hoping for a bite of scandal. I slid my fan behind my back and pushed through the material with my fingers until it gave through. I opened it up and gasped innocently at the tear. "Oh dear! I've a rip in my fan!"

Catching on Claire nodded and set a sympathetic hand upon my shoulder. "Oh dear, we shall replace it at once! Don't mind us Miss McCarthy! We won't be but a moment."

I then took Claire's hand and we made our way to an empty room somewhere on the second story. I closed the door behind me and only when I was sure we were alone, did I begin to tell her.

"It's James!" I said breathlessly.

"Oh, what about him?"

"I think he means to propose to me tonight! I am meeting him in only a few minutes time!"

"Oh, dear Audrey, you must be so excited!"

I smiled. "I am! Oh, this is the night I have been dreaming of, Claire! Do I look okay?" I asked, hoping my appearance hadn't been ruffled in the slightest.

"You look perfect," she assured me before ushering me out the door. "Now, hurry! Go meet him and tell me everything that happens."

"I shall!" I called over my shoulder as I made my way back to the main ballroom, but only walked on its edge. I watched everyone warily, to make sure I would not be seen sneaking into the coat room, but everyone else seemed to be wrapped up in their own dance, their own gossip. No one paid attention as I slipped undetected into the large room where everyone's coats were kept.

James was already there, waiting for me with a big smile on his face. I smiled back, but did not waste time with pleasantries.

"To what do I owe this secret meeting for?" I asked as I batted my thick eyelashes up at him.

"Oh, nothing really," he said as he looked around the spacious room that was far too formal to simply hold coats. It was not as _if_ they cared. "I just wanted you to be the first to be invited to the ball my family will be hosting next year."

"How very kind of you," I said with a sly smile. "And to what occasion is this ball being hosted for?"

"Here, let me show you the invitation," he said as he reached into his coat pocket. "And be assured that this is the first one to go out."

Curiosity was itching at me and so I had to remind myself to take the invitation gently instead of snatching it as I wanted to. But as I looked at it, I could not help but grin foolishly.

_The Hollingsworth Household  
Invites You to a Masquerade Ball  
To Honor the Engagement Between  
James Charles Hollingsworth  
And Audrey Jane Cross  
On the evening of Saturday  
the Twenty-first of April  
At nine o'clock  
to the Following Address:  
4820 Farringdon Street  
In the City of London_

"Of course, the entire ball depends on the answer to your question right now," he continued once I had looked up from reading. James dug into his pocket again and produced a ring box. "Miss Cross, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" He opened the box to reveal the most beautiful of diamond. I saw it was nestled in velvet of the Tiffany blue color that was associated with Tiffany and Co., which was the best jewelry store in the world right now. The diamond must have been imported from New York City of the United States, and I could already see the extraordinary diamond perched on my left hand.

And suddenly, all my dreams of marrying my one love were coming true. As I accepted his proposal and let him slip on the ring before kissing me with such enthusiasm I lost my every train of thought, I knew that my _happily ever after _had just come true.

--


	3. Bridges You Crossed

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Three: Bridges You Crossed  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_I couldn't be happier  
Simply couldn't be happier  
Well - not "simply":  
'Cause getting your dreams  
It's strange, but it seems  
A little - well - complicated  
There's a kind of a sort of : cost  
There's a couple of things get: lost  
There are bridges you cross  
You didn't know you crossed  
Until you've crossed_

_Thank Goodness, _Wicked the Musical

--

My mother was of course ecstatic about the engagement. I told her the next day, not wanting to ambush her with the news at the ball, especially since someone overhearing was very possible. James and I had decided to keep it relatively quiet for the next two days while his mother made the guest list for our engagement party. Of course both of our families wanted to be sure that all the _right_ people were there. The guest list would be quite small, as we only wanted the best of the best there. There were of course those families who had one foot in society and were mildly excepted at large balls and dinners, but both James and I wanted this to be exclusive.

It was actually his idea, but I had agreed right away. Of course only people who were qualified to be there would be invited. And James assured me that whoever was invited would come. We were, after all, the biggest and best engagement to happen this year. Two wonderful families, the Hollingsworths and the Crosses, to be finally joined together in matrimony, and the most perfect kind.

The invitations for our engagement party, which was on Saturday, would go out on Monday. My mother had at first worried that it would not give people enough time to clear their schedules, and she expressed her concern when our families met Monday morning to go over the guest list.

"But perhaps we should give them more notice? Surely not everyone will come with only five day's awareness," my mother fretted, looking up from the list in front of her.

I caught James' eyes across the table and he gave a very demur grin, making it hard to concentrate on the conversation that was going on between our parents. His eyes wouldn't let mine go and I found I could not break the gaze without someone else's interference.

"Audrey!"

I blinked, finally looking away to focus on my mother. "I beg your pardon. I missed what you said. My mind is elsewhere. Forgive me," I said, almost smiling as I literally repeated word for word what our etiquette teacher from Woldingham had told us to say if we were caught at inattention.

I heard a small chuckle from James' side of the table and I did my best not to laugh as well, though I could not help but let my lips tug up in a small smile.

"Yes, I understand you must be excited about this engagement Audrey but you really must pay attention. It is unattractive to let your mind wander when someone is speaking to you," my mother chided.

I sobered, at least long enough to assure my mother that I was not turning into a complete savage. "Yes, I do apologize. What were you saying?"

"I was asking if you thought that five days is enough notice. Surely we could push it back a week."

I thought for a moment. "Well mother, as Mrs. Hollingsworth pointed out, we are the most prestigious couple to be announced this year, and people will be clamoring to go, and to just be invited." I paused, pretending to consider what I was going to say next even though I had it already planned. "I believe it will be even _more_ talked about if people are willing to cancel previous engagements to come."

"Oh, Audrey! That's terrible," she responded, but she didn't seem to completely hate the idea, so I took my time to pounce.

"Of course it will not reflect anything on us, as we had nothing to go to this Saturday anyways, seeing as I have just returned from Paris." I batted my eyelashes innocently. "And I don't think it would be too much of a shame if we were talked about. This will only make our wedding a more sought after event to attend."

I heard a laugh from somewhere at the table and I turned to see Mr. Hollingsworth throw his head back with a hearty laugh.

"The girl is diabolical, I'll give you that much. Perfect for you James," he said, raising his brandy in the direction of his son.

"That's why I chose her," he agreed, giving his father a look that held more to it than someone who just glanced at them wouldn't realize. But as James had held my attention for most of the afternoon, I didn't miss the look that was exchanged between them before James lifted his own glass and the gaze was broken.

I raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow, but was unable to catch my fiancé's eyes, so I gave up after a moment, not wanting to be caught off guard with the flowing conversation again.

"A masquerade?" James' mother commented, looking at her husband. "Is that appropriate?"

"I do admit it is different, but do we want anything about them to be so traditional it is completely forgotten?"

My father nodded, accepting another brandy from a passing servant. "I don't believe a masquerade has been done since Christmas at the Lorens."

I leaned back in my chair, setting my tea down in front of me as I thought of what my costume would look like. Since I was going to be the guest of honor, the costume would have to be something eye catching and unique. Of course James and I would have to coordinate so as we made our rounds, people would just know we were the honorary couple and from one glance they would see that we were meant to be together.

I was so excited for word to get around about our engagement. I could not wait to feel the spiteful stares on my back or to hear people whisper with a jealous edge to their voice as I walked by. I lived to be envied, and now that I had everything I needed, and anything anyone could hope for, I knew that it would not be long until the battle lines with the other women would be drawn and I would walk away victorious.

--

After we had agreed on the guest list, only about seventy families had made the cut, several messengers were sent out with them so they could be hand delivered within the hour. James and I had no time to waste in getting our costumes. Within three hours, four tops, everyone would have heard about our engagement so we needn't hide anything. We were able to leave his home, with my maid as a chaperone, and with the Tiffany perched proudly on my left ring finger, by mid afternoon.

We went immediately to Harrods to pick out what our costumes would be. I convinced him that we should go as Hebe and Hercules. Of course I had to patiently explain to him that they were Greek gods, or goddess in Hebe's case, and that they were a married couple. After I retold the story of their courtship, and that Hercules had superhuman strength, he agreed, saying it would be unique. I was just grateful I wouldn't be going as something plain.

As I had expected, we were beginning to be stared at by the time we sat down to tea at a small place by Harrods. It was obvious that the news of our engagement had already gotten around.

"They're staring," James said in a low voice before he took a sip of his tea.

I let my eyes casually scan the other occupants and smiled triumphantly. "I know," I mumbled back to him as I dunked another sugar cube into my tea, even though I had already taken a ladies' limit of two. James didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't care.

"You know, I was just thinking—" he took my unoccupied hand from the table and into his own— "what a perfect couple we will be. We are both…hmm…how shall I say this?"

"High in society and will not let anyone get in our way to get what we want?" I asked, knowing it was the right answer.

"Precisely." He kissed my hand before releasing it, and we both listening to the tittering of girls at a nearby table. Obviously they were excited to see him show some affection towards me. It was as if the gesture had only confirmed the rumor of our engagement that was now surely flowing through the streets of London.

I arched my left hand on the table perfectly so the ring would catch just the right amount of the sunlight overhead. It sparkled with brilliance and I pretended not to notice a small gasp from behind me.

"We both seem attention hungry," he murmured with a smile, observing my motion with a prideful smirk.

"But of course," I answered as I laid my hand back into my lap so my purposeful flaunting would not be suspected. "Life is a stage and you must make it your own. Who doesn't want to be talked about?"

James shrugged and I giggled; neither of us being able to imagine such a person. After a few more minutes of sitting and soaking up the attention that was given to us, we left. I accepted James' arm and smiled as we passed everyone, letting them see that I, Audrey Cross, am engaged to James Hollingsworth and my life was now complete.

--

Unfortunately, my mother insisted I return to Woldingham until Friday. I had glowered when she mentioned it, and had argued when she seemed serious about sending me back.

"But _mother,_ why must I go back? Finishing school is so you may be turned out as a well bred young lady so you can make a successful marriage. I have already done that," I insisted, and I knew she could not argue with that point.

"Yes you have, and your father and I have already told you how proud we are. Since Jacqueline has refused every proposal that has come her way we needed this redemption before people began _talking _that the Cross girls were _unmarriageable._" She cringed at the word, seeming to shy away from it. "But this will be your last week there. You are mostly going to collect your things and say proper good-byes. You want to say good-bye to your friends, don't you?"

I pursed my lips, thinking. I really could care less if I went. None of my true friends went there. Both Claire and Abigail went to a rival school in the west, as when Woldingham was in the east. The girls I had befriended there were mostly girls that were social climbers and would do whatever I wanted. Though they were often annoying at Woldingham, they were good allies in London when I needed a service from someone less important. But I supposed I needed to keep my image up, and going back would help that.

_Just two full days there_, I said to myself.

"Fine. I shall go. But I must come Friday so I can be sure my costume fits. If it didn't fit the day of the ball I do not know what I would do."

So that is how I ended up at Victorian Station Tuesday evening with my parents to see me off, and my maid as a chaperone, because of course I was not expected to go alone, especially when night was so close upon us. I was still not too thrilled with it, and now that I was the future Mrs. Hollingsworth was determined to leave my old life behind. It was time to move on, but I knew I just had to do these two more days at Woldingham and it would be over. The thought made me smile as I walked through the familiar doors, accepting hugs from my chums and a pat on the shoulder by our head mistress. She had obviously heard about the engagement and had taken partial credit.

"James Hollingsworth," a girl named Veronica said once we were seated in the common room.

I just gave a light nod, taking a bite from the pastry I was offered to reenergize me after my travels, and smiled in the acknowledgement that I was torturing him.

"Do you love him?" one of the younger girls squealed before clamping a hand over her mouth.

"Now, that is quite bold of you," I chided as I licked the frosting from the top of the pastry in an unladylike manner, but it mattered not. Our head mistress was paying us no mind.

"Sorry," she mumbled, sitting back down, looking dejected.

"Well, do you?" a girl named Constance asked. She was probably my closest ally here and she knew I would answer.

"Of course." I batted my eyelashes dreamily. "We are perfect for one another, aren't we?"

I was met with squeals and yells as everyone tripped over one another to offer their agreement.

"Girls!" our headmistress snapped. "I know we are all excited about Miss Cross' engagement but we must still act with manners and dignity."

They muttered apologies before turning back to me. I felt normal and at ease to be holding the center of attention. It felt completely natural.

"Are you nervous for…," Veronica trailed off, blushing and looking down.

"The wedding night?" I supplied with a wicked grin.

Noticing my cheekiness, Constance asked, "You have not engaged in these activities yet, have you?"

"Of course not," I snapped, stung by the comment, but I let it pass. "But no, I am not nervous. Women have been doing it for centuries. Why should I be nervous?"

"Well, I have heard it is…_painful._"Another girl said. "I spoke to my sister after her marriage and she said it was not as _enjoyable _as everyone says." She made sure to lower her voice as to not be overheard by any of the teachers.

"I'm sure it is different for everyone," I responded, though I was not sure if I was assuring her or myself. "But I am actually quite excited."

This was met with scandalous squeals and tittering about what a cheeky girl I was, but I could tell that the comment would not get me in trouble, but just awed by the rest of them. A girl _excited _and not nervous for her wedding night…who knew? But actually, I had been keeping that part of me to myself and frankly I was tired of waiting. I was eighteen! Well, I would be in a week. But it was time I moved on with my life.

"Alright girls, time for bed." Our headmistress stood up and ushered us girls out of the room like a mother hen and I calmed myself by thinking that I had only one more night and my life could finally begin.

--

I got a surprise visit from my older sister the next day. I was plucked straight from our waltzing lesson, which was good as I was already a very good dancer and my partner had the unfortunate two left feet and kept stepping on my toes, and sent to the library. She smiled when I 

entered and I returned the smile slightly, very suspicious of her sudden entrance when we had seen each other only the day before.

"Good afternoon Jacqueline. What brings you to Woldingham?"

When the maid who had seen Jackie in saw we were exchanging pleasantries and it was not an emergency, she left us alone, as I needed no chaperone with my sister.

"I just wanted to speak with you," she said as she nervously looked down and adjusted her skirt. She was wearing a pale pink color that washed her out and I frowned. Though she was a few years older, my sister and I looked strikingly alike and had been asked if we were twins many times in our younger years. Though her blonde hair had become more cinnamon with the years and her eyes a more mysterious gray than my bright blue. I had always envied her for her eyes, though I would never tell her.

"What is the urgency?" I asked quietly as I sat down in a chair across from her, smoothing my scarlet colored dress.

"I just wanted to speak with you about your engagement to James."

I gave a slow nod, curious as to what this is about. "Sure. Go ahead," I hinted, hoping she would get right to the point. My sister had the most annoying habit of beating around the bush.

"Well, I know that as I am not engaged, I really have no say in this, but—"

"You're right. You don't." Suspecting her objection to my engagement, I quickly interrupted her.

"Audi, please listen," she said, and then stopped, both of us reviling in the shock of the use of my childhood nickname. I had to have been ten when I was last called that. Neither of us acknowledged it out loud though. "I am just worried for you is all. Do you love him?" she asked.

I felt my eyes narrow and my eyebrow draw a line across my forehead. "What a bold thing to ask, dear sister."

"I am only asking. It is not right for you to marry him if you do not love him. These rules—this society—these chains do not all have to be obeyed Audi! You must do what you love and be with who you love!" she insisted, her voice rising during the speech, causing me to look quickly over my shoulder to scan for eavesdroppers.

Seeing it was safe, I spoke. "You know nothing of me Jacqueline. I should love whom I will marry, is that it?" I asked, stung by her obvious distaste for the way we lived, the way I _wanted _to live—and with James too. "I should love my fiancé like you love what's-his-face."

My sister's face fell and she looked into her lap. "I don't know what you mean."

"You do _too,_" I said childishly as I stood, my small fists clenched at my side. "The stable boy! You would chance on ruining our family for what you think is love? Do you have any idea what would happen to us if you were exposed."

"I love him!" she blurted and covered her mouth when it was too late.

"You cannot have love that is not within our class Jackie. It is simply not done. Would you really selfishly sacrifice your family for a love that will not even last?"

"It would not matter too much, if I left. You are already going to make a good marriage and—"

"Wait." I stopped her with one hand raised. "Only a moment ago you wanted me to think about my engagement with James and now you don't want such things so you can be with that peasant!"

"George! His name is _George!_"

"It doesn't matter," I said, stung by her selfishness.

It was quiet for a moment as we both stared at one another, facing each other down. We stood apart from each other, away from the sisters we once used to be and into our separate worlds that had only now become clear.

"I suppose we want different things," she whispered.

I looked away and nodded. "It would seem so."

"Well then." She bent down and grabbed her handbag. "I will just leave you then. I will see you tomorrow."

She began leaving, but turned in the doorway when I had not said anything. I didn't plan on speaking and when she realized this, she sighed and walked away. And as I watched her disappear into the grand foyer of the school she had once attended, I could not find it in myself to feel guilty for what had been said.

--

**Genny's Note: Shorter than last time, but still good. Yes? Hopefully. Anyways, don't worry. Erik is coming in this next chapter. Notice that their engagement party is a **_**masquerade**_**? I totally just ruined the foreshadowing, but oh well! And also, just know that for the rest of this week and the next two weeks I will be on vacation. So updates will not be as frequent. Perhaps an update a week? I'm not sure what my internet will be like after this week so we will see. I was lucky to have some here.**

**Review? (:**


	4. Dancing Through Life

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Four: Dancing Through Life  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_Dancing through life,  
swaying and sweeping  
and always keeping cool.  
Life is fraught less when you're thoughtless.  
Those who don't try, never look foolish.  
Dancing through life, mindless and careless  
make sure your where less trouble is rife  
woes are fleeting blows are glancing  
when you're dancing through life..._

_Dancing Through Life _Wicked the musical

--

My time at Woldingham was short and my mother and a maid came to collect me the following morning. I left with little remorse or pity for the people I that I was leaving behind. I wasn't very fond of any of them, and I would see the majority of them at balls and dinners when this year's season started. When I arrived home, I had little time to rest as the ball was the very next day. I was thrown into a flourish of activity as soon as I walked over the threshold of the door. I was sent to my costume fitting, had to help choose the correct center pieces, the right dance cards, and so much more.

Of course I knew there was going to be a downside to having the engagement party so soon and obviously exhaustion was it. But seeing the knowing eyes of everyone upon me as I walked by or turning the corner, I knew it was worth it.

But one thing that sobered me from being absorbed in the center of everything was that Jacqueline and I didn't exchange one word. Every time I looked at her from across the room or in the carriage, her eyes were silently appraising me as I chose the right pearls or asked for my gown to be brought in an extra inch.

Did she have a right to judge me? After all, I was the one who was waiting until marriage like we were supposed to, and besides that, I was marrying the man I loved while satisfying my parents at the same time. How did _she _have the right to look at me with those eyes that held nothing but disappointment and regret?

But then on the other hand, she was my sister and I loved her. She was also going to be my maid of honor so was it right for me to exclude her right now? Probably not. But I had too much pride, right now especially, to apologize. Plus she was also the one not talking to _me_.

So with the decision made, I went about my day. I made the trivial choices for decorations, food, music, and many other things.

The most exciting part of my day was when James and I went to pick up our coordinating costumes at Harrods in the late afternoon. We both had a final fitting and when we were both sure they fit, we had them sent to our homes. James' carriage then took me home and he even walked me to my door with my maid, Sarah, trailing behind yawning. She had gone through the entire day with us as well.

At the doorway Sarah reached for the doorknob but James slapped her hand away before he glared at her.

"A moment, if you please," he said with his commanding tone. He looked fiercely at her until she mumbled an apology as she walked a few feet away to give us a few minutes of privacy. Even though it wasn't the decent thing to do, Sarah was the kind of girl who would just do as she was told. I overheard saying once that a wise maid sees and hears nothing. I was quite lucky to have her as my own personal maid.

After she was gone James turned to me and smiled before leaning down and giving me a very tender kiss. I closed my eyes and accepted it, accepted _him_, greedily.

After a moment he pulled away and smiled down at me. "Feisty," he commented as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Is that a bad thing?" I teased as I grinned up at him.

"Definitely not," he replied. He then tucked a wild strand of my blonde hair behind my ear. "You know Audrey, for what I need to do I couldn't have picked a more perfect girl. I get to do what I need and have fun."

I wrinkled my brow as I cocked my head slightly, pulling away from him. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Nothing dearest," he said smoothing my hair back before he kissed me again. "I will see you tomorrow where we will introduce our engagement to the world."

He then left me of my porch dumbfounded, wondering for the second time what the double meaning in his words were.

--

The next day passed slowly and it seemed to take forever for it to be time to get ready for the ball. When it was finally time I ushered Sarah in my room to do my hair and help me dress. Everything had to be perfect and so I gave myself many hours in order for it to be so.

My dress was absolutely gorgeous. The colors and the cut were breathtaking and I simply could not wait to put it on. The gown for the majority was a very light blue that matched my eyes perfectly. The straps were gold and barely cupped the required coverage for my shoulders. At the bottom, the blue was raised slightly to reveal a white section that matched the white sash the looped around my tiny waist to define it. I wore tiny soft gold slippers and a spectacular gold necklace that had little blue diamonds lining it.

I had Sarah sweep my hair up with tiny white pearls but let the majority of the curls fall over my shoulders.

Unfortunately for my patience, I was ready an hour early and I spent it in my room fussing over anything that could further be perfected.

Soon enough though, James' carriage arrived to pick me up. I was simply giddy as I walked down the stairs and saw him wearing his matching costume. His undershirt was the same light blue that matched my dress. He wore a cape of gold that was outlined in blue thread. His pants were black with white trimming which ended at a pair of black boots.

His mask looked very similar to mine. Both of our masks were simple as to attract attention to our costumes. They covered the area around our eyes only, leaving our foreheads and noses bare. His mask was simply black with gold trim and mine was the exact same, except blue with gold trim.

We both waited while my parents and sisters came down. My mother and Rachel ooed and awed over how wonderful our costumes looked. Jackie stood away from us next to my father, just as quiet as she had been the past two days. I decided amends would be made after the stress of the ball. Tomorrow I would give her the opportunity to apologize for her selfishness.

After everyone complimented and smiled at one another's costumes, we all were on our way. James and I would be arriving in his coach and my family would come after us in our family carriage. It was very important for James and me to make our entrance together, as I had been informed that most of the guests were already there, being greeted by James' parents. The guests were all anxiously awaiting our arrival and we would be glad to give it them.

Getting to his house didn't take long, and we went in the back way so we could come down the stairs that led to the ballroom. Everyone now knew we would be coming in a few minutes since my family had arrived the front way.

The entry was simply amazing. The awesome silence descended on the crowd as we walked down the stairs together was very plausible and it brought a smile to both mine and James' face.

It was not long that we were separated for a brief time; both of us having to do what our gender required. So when he was whisked off into the billiard room for brandy and cigars, I decided it was time to introduce myself to the new Comtess whom I had made sure was invited. Besides the fact that her social title held her at an automatic invitation, a preamble was called for.

I came forward, promptly interrupting the conversation that was going on with my presence. The girl whom the Comtess was speaking with was a girl that was always seeking my attention and approval. Even now when I cleared my throat, and she turned around, her face erupted with a smile.

"Oh! Audrey!"

"Miss Cross," I reminded her smoothly.

"Right, Miss Cross." She at least had the good will to look flustered for a moment before smiling again. "Mrs. Montague was just telling me what it was like to live in Spain."

"That's fabulous," I said with mock sincerity as I pushed past her. I smiled charmingly at the olive-skinned girl in front of me. I gave a deep curtsy, one in which she returned. "How do you do? I am Audrey of the Cross family."

"I am Carmen Montague," she responded as we both came up from our curtsy.

"It's a pleasure," I purred as I swept some ringlets off of my shoulder. We fell into an awkward silence before I decided to make my first impression on her. "So, forgive my prying, but how did you end up with a man like Thomas Montague?"

An eyebrow was raised. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you seem like a charming girl and Tom is so…" I tried to think of a word that summed up his pompous behavior without sounding completely out of place. "Foppish," I finally finished.

"Well, Tom must always care for our appearances since he is a Comte after all," she said smugly, as if reminding me that her social status was higher than my own.

It was time to show her that the word _Comtess_ did not put her above me. So after a brief awkward pause, I said, "I simply love your costume. I wore one just like it a _few days ago_ at another ball. Of course mine was tailored and designed by the great Charles Frederick Worth especially for me."

I saw something flash across her eyes, a furrow come to her brow, and then finally, an evil smile that could only be described as matching mine.

"Oh, yes. I heard about that, though I did hear you did not hold up the costume as well as the great tailor would have liked it to be," she said, putting a hand on her hip, causing the bangles to clatter noisily down her arm. Carmen then motioned towards her own dress. "I have heard you did not reach the height of notice you may have hoped, at least in a positive way." She gave a small smile before opening her fan.

I narrowed my eyes slightly, trying to keep my facial expression in check though it was very difficult to. "Are you insinuating something about how I wore my costume?" I demanded.

"Oh, of course not! That would simply be too bold," she responded before adding, "I was just simply stating a fact." She then gave me a wicked grin. "Well, it was a pleasure to meet you Miss…Boss?"

"Cross," I corrected angrily.

"Of course it is. After all, you are not the _boss_ of anything. Well, I suppose I will see you again soon," she said before turning around and walking away, a vision in lace and silk.

I squeezed my poor fan mercilessly to control my anger, but my face did not illustrate one emotion about the slight. Instead of showing that she had gotten to me, I opened my fan and smoothed out the wrinkles I had caused before walking to my friends again. I threw a glance over my shoulder at Carmen, and realized at that moment it was like looking into a mirror and I did not like it.

--

"Oh Audrey, you must simply sing for us!"

I smiled widely at the woman in front of me, Mrs. what's-her-face. Some aunt of some girl I used to go to school with. I wasn't too sure; I was too busy watching James dance with Carmen across the room. My hate for that girl was only growing by the minute.

"But of course Madame!" I said sweetly, using French as I detected a slight accent in her voice. But never passing up the opportunity to show off my talents, I led them to where I knew James' music room was.

To my surprise, it wasn't empty as I had expected it to be. But also, to my disappointment, it was not a sneaky couple as I had hoped, but just a solitary man standing near the piano. He was wearing an extravagant costume. It was a red suit with large gold buttons and a black undercoat and black boots. A sword was attached to his hip and it swung around as he turned to look at us. When facing me, I could see how skinny he was, almost _skeletal_. His black hair was slicked back formally and his eyes were an intense yellow color. He was strange…yet strangely attractive.

His mask covered the majority of his forehead and all the way down to his nose. It was black and uneven, as there were many ruts in it.

"I am sorry. I did not know anyone would be here," he said before trying to make his escape.

"It's quite alright," I said, but blocked his way, startled when I saw the top of my head only reached his shoulder. "But perhaps you could play piano for me while I sing? It is so much easier to do when someone else is playing."

He hesitated for a moment, looking around at the three women and one man I had brought with me. He seemed trapped so he gave a grudging nod before sitting down at the piano bench.

"I don't believe we've met," said the woman whose idea it was to come in here. "I am Missus Larson, and this it Missus Orion and her daughter, Miss Orion, and my husband Mister Larson," she said, motioning towards the person the names belonged to. "And the young woman you are playing for is Miss Audrey Cross."

I gave a tight lipped smile at my introduction and swept the curls off of my shoulder. "And you are?" I asked, truly curious. Who was this dark mysterious man who sulked in music rooms while an elegant ball celebrating _my _engagement was going on?

He seemed to be uncomfortable with all of us standing around him and questioning him, which was obvious by the way he fiddled with his jacket. I was the queen at noticing when people were nervous or felt out of place, as I was the person who usually enjoyed implying such feelings.

"I am Erik Destler."

The name didn't sound familiar but I nodded anyways before taking my place next to the piano. He looked at me from the piano bench, waiting for instruction.

"I will be singing _Brindisi_ from _La Traviata_," I said before looking down. "Do you know that one?"

"Yes," he replied rather smugly as his long fingers hovered over the keys.

My perfectly arched eyebrow rose for a moment before I gave him the nod to begin. His fingers immediately moved across the keys in a flurry of clouded images, but I kept up. I always kept up. The Italian flowed off my tongue; smooth as a river.

_Libiamo, libiamo ne'lieti calici  
che la belleza infiora.  
E la fuggevol ora s'inebrii__  
a volutt?.  
Libiamo ne'dolci fremiti  
che suscita l'amore,  
poich? quell'ochio al core  
Omnipotente va.  
Libiamo, amore fra i calici  
pi? caldi baci avr?._

The part I wanted to sing was over and I stopped, smiling to my small audience.

"That is enough for one night. Just a little taste," I said with a grin as they all gave a small round of applause.

I gave a small curtsy before they turned and began filing out of the room. I turned to follow them, but my piano player caught my arm.

"How about a thank you?"

My eyes narrowed slightly as I jerked my arm free; looking to be sure no one was watching. "Fine. Thank you," I said turning to leave again.

"What did you say your name was?"

I gave a small surprised laugh, but one that contained no sound. It was mostly just pushed out air. "Audrey Cross. Though it will be Audrey Hollingsworth soon enough." As I spoke I held up my left hand casually, showing off the Tiffany in the low light.

"Is that so?"

This strange man was beginning to mildly scare me, and so I nodded before turning on my heel and flouncing away to catch up with the others. No one was going to ruin this night for me.

--

**Genny's Note: Sorry updates took so long. I had no internet in Colorado and no time to write besides that. It was a very busy two and a half weeks. Also, the inspiration for this story has left me. I do not know why, but I find myself focusing more on the original I have been working on this summer. So I apologize but I am putting this on hiatus for a few weeks until I can gather my bearings. Probably just until late August early September. I apologize again.**


	5. Choice

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Five: Choice  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_The keys to the castle are right where I left them.  
The princess walked in just to take more attention,  
'Cause after all, well isn't that all that I've been after,  
And after all, well isn't that all that I'm after._

_Bonus Mosh Pit 2, Taking Back Sunday_

--

_Erik._

I don't know exactly what fascinated me about the young woman in the short few minutes I was with her.

Perhaps it was that as intimidating as I was and, I daresay, I knew I looked the part as well, especially with my Red Death costume on, she did not seem to be phased by it. As I played the piano for her, a song I knew by heart and so I did not need hardly any concentration, I could not help but study her. At first glance, she looked very much like—I forced myself to think the name—Christine, but upon closer inspection, I found that this was not the case at all.

Though both girls had the blonde hair and blue eyes, Christine held on what looked to be an innocent demeanor, where as Audrey looked far more strong-willed.

The first feature that was noticeable was her eyes, which were almond shaped and set perfectly on each side of her straight and aristocratic nose. They were the color of cerulean jewels that seemed to sparkle with the obvious feistiness of her personality. When I had confronted her to receive some appreciation for my musical skills, because let us be quite honest, I played for her with very little persuasion, her steely eyes had focused on me, impervious to my growing irritation before she had grudgingly given me a thanks.

Ah! But here comes fate into the picture again! This entrancing woman is engaged! And not only that, it was her engagement party in which I was in attendance in at that very moment. She seemed quite smug on the matter as well, but not as smug as I was a moment later when my eyes focused on her engagement ring, which was quite obviously fake. Well, obvious to me at least. I could see that she had probably accepted the piece of jewelry from the company name box without any question that it was authentic, and it was Tiffany and Co. from the look of it.

And really—since the hunt for the future Madame le Fantôme had begun, I had done my best to become a gentleman—what would I be if I let this poor young woman wander around with an artificial engagement ring that would surely cause scandal when discovered? As the honor of my reputation—not that I much had one here in London yet—as a gentlemen was in danger, I took it upon myself to make the young Miss Cross know about her fiancé's deception.

Besides, the ball was growing duller by the minute and from my foretaste of Miss Cross, I could count on her to make a splendid show at my discovery.

So, after I could hear the ball swing back into motion after dinner, which I had foregone out on, I made my way back into the main ballroom. The girl in question was quite easy to spot, as she had a commanding air around her, or rather an attention-grabbing quality. Anyways, something about Miss Cross just made my eyes draw automatically to her, seeing just in time as she threw her head back to laugh loudly at something someone near her had said. She earned some annoyed looks from the older women about her, but she turned her cool eyes to them as if to say, _You shan't gossip about me at my own ball without consequences. _

Whatever it was that she portrayed to them, they turned their eyes downwards as if ashamed of their critical stare they had only given an instant before.

My plans changed at that moment as I decided to observe her for a few minutes more before I broke the saddening news about her engagement ring to her. As you know, devastating news should be given only when you know the person well enough to know of the best way to break the information. I could not simply walk up as a stranger to her and tell her…no, I had to know her a little bit first.

Or perhaps I was making excuses for myself. I suppose it doesn't matter much, but the evening went as followed.

I went about the ball blindly, dancing with a few women who treated me as they would any other man, which left me feeling slightly delighted that no one knew I was different, that I was the former Opera Ghost, a murder, an obsessive man who kidnapped the object of his affections…no…they knew nothing of that.

Thinking of my past left me feeling considerably depressed. It was hard not to think of the things I had done which in turn had eventually driven Christine from me and into the arms of another man…a man whom I knew deserved her far more than I did, though that did not help ease the pain of rejection and the only woman I loved being lost to me forever.

I bet you're wondering right about now that if I am so hopelessly in love with Christine why am I going out into the world to purposefully replace her?

And the answer to that is…ah…I'm not exactly sure yet. I am the kind of person who has an idea that sounds excellent to them, acts upon it, and finds out the motivation later through personal study. So I would save my reasoning to be discovered later, and if it indeed turned out to not be what I wanted, it could be easily reversed.

Plus it gave me something to do.

So even though my heart still pounded painfully in my chest, reminding me of my loss with each resounding beat, I went around the ball as any of the other men were, but keeping my eyes on Audrey as I did so.

She was a fascinating subject to study at least. The way she acted around everyone made it obvious that she thought of herself as superior; a queen come to grace her presence upon her unworthy subjects. And everyone around her were only too willing to play the pitiful citizens, bowing to her every word and casting envious eyes upon her as she walked by.

I was only too excited to see what would happen when someone went against what she wanted, and I was also only too willing to be the test subject.

I waited about another hour where I finally saw her alone, watching as all the couples swirled across the dance floor and in their pretty dresses and elegant suits. Their lives all seemed careless and I found myself envious of their untroubled existence. But I did not have time to dwell upon it, for who knew how long she would be alone? And as I stated before, what kind of gentleman would I be to break the news in front of one of her acquaintances? Besides, I was not one to compete for attention.

But of course by the time I crossed the ballroom she was already in a conversation with another young woman, but I could only catch the end of it.

"Ah, beast! Why did I invite you to my engagement ball? I cannot seem to recollect," she hissed menacingly to a woman who looked of Spanish decent.

"Most likely because this ball would be a complete disaster without mine and my husband's presence," she retorted just as fiercely.

Though the argument was seemingly funny, there were two things I found more engaging than their words. Firstly was that though they were exchanging frosty words, both of their faces were turned into strained smiles, and from far away they would look like they were exchanging kind, if uncomfortable, words. But secondly, which was the most amusing of all, was after the other woman's statement, she turned on her heels and walked away, leaving Audrey whose face was invaluable. Her fan stopped in midair and her jaw slackened, falling open as I knew no young girl should let happen. Her eyes were shinning ferociously as she watched the woman's retreating form.

It was then she noticed me standing a mere three feet away, and she turned, eyeing me coldly as if I was the cause for what had just happened, which I most definitely was not.

"Oh, what do you want?" she demanded.

"I beg your pardon Mademoiselle Cross," I said with sarcasm, "but I am simply trying to tell you something of the utmost importance."

"Which would be?" she prompted, unable to tame her curiosity as I had already predicated.

I boldly took her left hand in my own, not worrying about rejection. I did not care for this woman, and so if she pulled away, it would not sting as it had done the many times Christine had shrunk away from my touch, curling into a pathetic little ball as I drew back.

But to my immense surprise, and though I did not admit it at that particular time, pleasure, she let me hold her small hand in mine, and her only response was a look of confusion shot up at me. I simply stroked her engagement ring and gave a light smile.

"Your ring, my dear, is not authentic."

I had never seen someone go from so angry, to utterly confused and, well…straight back to angry in such a short amount of time.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, ripping her hand away from mine and making a sound that could only be described as a hiss.

"It is supposed to be from Tiffany and Co. in New York? Is it not?" I took her horrified silence as confirmation. "Well I can quite surely tell you it is fake." I suddenly held the jeweled ring in question in my palm as I looked down at it.

She sputtered in outrage at how I had gotten a hold of her ring without her noticing. It was something I was quite good at now, and still surprised Nadir with it every now and then. I easily pointed out its flaws before she snatched it back and inspected it herself. When her hands were raised I noticed a definite green ring upon her white glove where the ring had once proudly stood. I was not the only one to notice it, and she gasped in at her horrific discovery.

"The fiend!" she jeered as she rubbed fruitlessly at the discolor on her silk gloves.

"Ah, it seems I am right once again," I couldn't help but brag, and then seeing Monsieur Hollingsworth from across the ballroom I grinned, seeing my task was not over. "Perhaps you would like to point out the flaw to your betrothed? I believe he is right there!" I raised my hand as if to get his attention, but Audrey reacted as I knew she would.

She snatched my hand down with an, "Are you insane, sir? Or are you really trying to ruin me?"

I suppose there was no correct answer to this, and so I did not give her one. I simply let my thin lips form into a smirk as I glanced back at her fiancé, debating…

And apparently she could see this, because she grabbed my hands and began pulling me away from the ballroom's edge.

"How about a dance?" she asked, placing one hand upon my shoulder and waiting for my other one to join hers.

"Isn't someone already on your dance card?" I asked, not particularly caring if I took someone else's place, but wondering what she would do.

"What?" she asked, looking up at me horrified, and then grasping my meaning shook her head. "Oh, of course! But it is old Mister Resoner! By the time he hobbles to my side the dance will be nearly over already, and that is if he hasn't drunken himself into a stupor yet."

And so I took her hand in mine and let my other one fall onto her waist, surprised when I felt an electric shook go through me that had definitely _not _happened with the other dances I had participated in earlier. But I swept her across the dance floor like I would have to anyone else, waiting for her questioning. I didn't have to wait long.

"Why did you do that?" she asked, keeping her smile in place as everyone turned their eyes upon us, no doubt wondering whom her strange dance partner was.

"Do what?" I asked innocently, loving the way she was not afraid of me like everyone else was.

"Tell me about my ring! And how did you know?"

"Well miss, it is really the most obvious thing, at least to me. I am surprised that someone as wealthy as you both obviously are that the ring would be a counterfeit."

"He didn't know about it," she automatically defended, and I twirled her harder than necessary.

"Are you so sure?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered, narrowing her lovely eyes at me. "I believe I know my own fiancé."

"Yes, I suppose you should."

"Are you implying something?" she demanded hauntingly.

"Nothing at all," I responded, "but I am just stating that perhaps you shouldn't be so rude to someone who is holding such an immense secret that could ruin you, and at your own engagement ball nonetheless."

Her eyes became daggers but the logic was working on her. No matter how much she wanted to spit insults and demands back at me, she could not, so long as she wanted her disgrace safe.

Ah, the pettiness of the aristocratic society! I found it quite amusing, until…

_This is the type of world Christine is in now. _

My chest constricted at the thought, as it always did when I thought about her at all. But now especially, thinking of her in such a world: with men everywhere only there to weigh her for her beauty. Would they even care about how kind she was, or that she had the voice of an angel? Would they step on her like the delicate and wilted flower that she was? Or would she be plucked, cherished, and protected as I intended her to be? That was the reason I had sent her away with the boy after all: to live the life I could never give her. If I ever found out he did not protect her with every fiber of his being, there would be hell to pay, damn my promises.

I had completely forgotten where I was and with whom, and especially why, until she spoke again.

"Are you blackmailing me?" she asked her eyes wide with the horridness of it all.

I gave a light and amused snort. "Hardly," I said. "I have better things to do than _that_. Besides, if I were truly in the want of blackmailing you, I could easily find out something more scandalous than a false engagement ring."

"_Hush_!"she said in a strained voice, glancing around to see if anyone had noticed. Nobody had.

The dance was soon over after that, and she looked relived to be rid of me. Who wouldn't?

"Goodbye Audrey," I said, loving the shock of her face when I used her Christian name, which I of course had no leave to do so.

"Farewell…," she responded dryly, and I noticed an absence of address.

"Do not tell me you have forgotten my name already?" Had I really had that little affect on her? Perhaps it was time to perfect the whole condescending façade I was always trying to put out. I had become a little rusty the past few years.

"Decker?" she guessed pitifully.

I simply shook my head, and deciding it was best she did not know my name for the time being, I turned on my heels and strode from the ballroom, walking through the beautiful front doors and outside to where I barked at my coachman to bring the carriage around, which he 

hastily did. I told him the address to my friend's house, that is to say my _only _friend who had followed me here from Paris a few months earlier. I was simply too wound up to go home. I had to tell someone of my discovery.

And so a few minutes later we pulled up, and I impatiently opened the carriage door myself, not bothering to wait from James to come around and do it for me. He was used to my peculiar behavior, and so he simply went to attend to the horses while I walked up the walkway to Nadir's home. I let myself in; I never bothered knocking anymore, and walked around the house stealthily until I came upon him in his living room. He was in front of his large fireplace, nursing a cup of brandy and an open book.

"Daroga!" I said, not bothering to be quiet, and enjoying it when I saw him jump from his chair, nearly spilling his drink and letting his book topple to the floor.

"Erik!" he scolded as he picked up the discarded piece of literature. "Will you please knock like a normal person?"

"We both know I am _not_ normal in the slightest," I said absently as I sat in a chair opposite from him uninvited.

Sensing I had something important to tell him, as I had barged into his home in the middle of the night in my Red Death costume, he closed his book and leaned forward. "What is it?" he asked almost warily.

"I have found her," I said simply.

"You are making no sense Erik! Who did you find?"

"The woman I want to marry!" I said impatiently.

To this Nadir sighed, shaking his head. "Honestly Erik, why, pray tell, do you want to get married? You are still—"

Knowing he was going to say something about Christine I raised a hand and he stopped midsentence. "Yes, Nadir, I know, and unfortunately that will never change. I would just like someone to live out my days with, someone I can share my life in the company of," I said as I took his brandy cup sitting on the table between us and took a sip. He opened his mouth as if to say something, decided it wasn't worth it, and shut it again.

"So, how did this one catch your attention?" he asked.

I had never been so grateful for Nadir in my life as I explained my reasoning to him; about everything I had seen about the girl that night; why she fascinated me.

"I believe she can challenge me, and me, her." I sighed and leaned back, draining the last contents of the glass. "I do not believe we could ever love one another, as I will never stop loving Christine, but she is a girl who wants to be married to money, that of which I can supply. Marriage in her class is rarely about love, and so how am I different than any other rich man she would marry?" I asked, and then thought for a moment. "No, please do not answer that."

Nadir gave me a rare smile and asked, "So you are quite sure she is the one you would like?" I nodded. "Alright, well how do you intend to court her?" I winced, for I had not intended to do such a thing at all, and Nadir guessed my plan in a heartbeat, gasping before he spoke. "You aren't going to force the girl to marry you are you?"

I scoffed. "Of course not! I am simply going to offer her parent's a large amount of money and the rest is up to them." He remained quiet and so I continued defending myself. "This is the course many men take. It will not be a strange occurrence."

"Yes, I suppose not," he sighed.

"But, I daresay, there is one problem."

"And that is?"

I gritted my teeth in frustration. "She is engaged."

"Engaged?" he demanded and then rolled his eyes. "You sure know how to pick them Erik."

I gripped the arm of the chair tightly, trying to remember my temper that I so frequently forgot.

"Well, that does complicate things," he agreed slowly, then glanced at me sternly. "If she wants to marry this man Erik, promise me not to get in the way of her happiness."

"I told you I would not _force her_, Nadir! Is that not enough?"

"Well," he hesitated, "just given your history…"

My jaw clenched. "We will _not _discuss of that," I snapped.

"Very well, Erik. I shall help you in any way I can if you keep your promise. What shall we do first?"

"Primarily," I said as I stood and hunted for some parchment in his meager apartment, "I must compose a letter to her family."

Because if she was arrogant enough to want to stay in money and in society, I knew she would accept. There was obviously something wrong with her fiancé for giving her such a false ring. I knew her just enough to know she would not let it slip. Because leaving it unsaid would mean discovery. Perhaps she would break the engagement if she found out he was not so rich after all. And so it was Audrey's vanity I was counting on.

--

**Genny's Note: Whoa! A new chapter? Yay! And of course inspiration would hit when school has begun and my time is limited. With that in mind, I cannot promise very frequent updates, but be aware that my inspiration has returned with a quick reread of some of my favorite fanfics and seeing **_**Wicked **_**Friday night! So plan on seeing me around more often. (:**

**Thank you so much for being patient. And just have you have been denied updates, I have been denied reviews! Shall we fix that? (:**

**And I tried doing all **_**Wicked **_**lyrics for the whole story, I really did, but I know it will just be impossible.**


	6. Can’t Catch My Breath

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Six: Can't Catch My Breath  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_The world, has turned, black and cold  
And I, can't catch my breath  
You rehearsed your lines  
With rhythmic details  
They match, the pounding in my chest_

_The Smile The Face, Emery_

_--_

_Audrey_.

Now that the sun had set, the room seemed to have grown gloomy, although perhaps it had less to do with the chamber than it did with my ill-humor that evening.

I had been sent to visit my grandmother in Reading to give her the news of my engagement, though I was sure she had heard the gossip of it already. Though my father's mother was a woman enjoyed hearing of the scandal or the goings on in London and elsewhere, she rarely left her comfortable estate on the shore of the Thames.

She was a very eccentric woman, always telling me it was because of her that I was in the highest of society.

"I was a very good status—though strictly middle class let me assure you—but your grandfather fell in love with me. He then went against his parent's wishes and married me. They abandoned him, completely embarrassed of course, but he already had his inheritance. We were well off, and your father was the one who kept our family in society." Then she would give an eye-fluttering sigh as if it was a very romantic story, though I had heard it plenty of times since I was a young girl.

And quite frankly, I did not really care _how _I got to be in the place I was in, but how I was going to make it _better_. Because things can always be better—you just need the right marriage. And of course, I already had that, or I would very soon. I had done my best to ignore the lingering stares and whispers I had gotten today due to a nasty rumor that had been started, but by who? I did not know, but I was sure it was that dreaded Spaniard whom I had struck an enmity with at my engagement ball two weeks ago.

"So how has the wedding preparation been going? Any choice of your Maid of Honor?" she asked as soon as she was done retelling the story _again_.

Even now the words echoed in my head, I could repeat them word for word_. "You're grandfather was so kind, going after my scarf…"_

I shook my head to rid myself of the words before I answered, "It will be Jacqueline of course, since she is my elder sister."

"Wonderful choice my dear!" she said, as if it had truly been my choice. It wasn't—it was just what everyone expected. Truth was Jacqueline and I still had not really spoken besides about colors for dresses, white roses or red roses, how long my veil should be, and other wedding planning.

The conversation continued going as this:

"What color have you chosen for your bridesmaids? Ah, pink? Wonderful, wonderful…Are you wearing gloves? Oh Audrey, a woman should always wear gloves! What about your necklace? Diamonds or pearls? I have always preferred pearls myself. In fact, I have a splendid necklace that would do you wonders!"

I wanted to cry for I was so uninterested with what we were speaking of. Though I was completely thrilled to be marrying James I had established long ago that the wedding setup was so long and tedious, and I just found myself wanting to be the new Mrs. Hollingsworth, though the wedding was not for another month.

"Grandmother, I am terribly sorry to cut our evening short but I find I am rather tired from the day's travel. I think I shall turn in."

"Very nice, my dear. A woman always needs enough rest, and perhaps it will put you in a better mood tomorrow."

I gave a small close-mouthed smile as I rose from my seat. "Yes, hopefully so," I agreed half-heatedly, knowing my disrespect towards her had nothing to do with lack of sleep.

After we exchanged hopes for each other's restful night, I fled to the safety of the room I was staying in, immediately sending the maids away, wanting to get ready for bed alone. I shimmied from my dress, corset, petticoats and stockings before putting on my most comfortable nightgown. I then took my hair down and let the curls gather on my back and shoulders. After I crawled into the comfort of my bed, I turned down my lamp so that only a small glow was emitted, enough that anyone who passed by my room tonight would think I was fast asleep, for the light did not reach the cracks of my door.

I had received two messages today, both which I had kept to myself. I had no idea what they meant and I planned on studying them. One was from my mother, and the other was from a mysterious person, but perhaps they were related? I took out the first, from my mother, which was a telegram printed on the yellow page and read as follows:

WEDDING EMERGENCY AT HOME STOP COME HOME AS SOON AS YOU CAN STOP DO NOT TELL YOUR GRANDMOTHER OF THIS STOP YOURS VERONICA CROSS

I wondered, first and foremost, what this "emergency" could be. Had something happened to James? Or was it something trivial like the gown I had chosen needed some more of my measurements? But I also wondered that whatever it was why couldn't my grandmother know?

The second one was even more confusing. It was a letter, and it was addressed to me personally, and so whoever had sent it knew I was going to be here for a length of time. This one said:

_Miss Audrey Cross,_

_I hope you will accept the solution in which I have proposed. _

_-E_

Who was "E"? And what did he, or she, want with me? Also what solution could I possibly need? Perhaps whatever was going on at home had to do with this strange letter.

These questions raged through my head and I groaned in frustration when I could fathom no reason for either note. When it was obvious I was not going to figure it out tonight, I folded each one carefully before hiding it amongst my undergarments. I lay in my bed then, waiting for sleep to arrive so tomorrow would come and with it the answers to these mysteries.

--

"Oh _dear_, I hope your sister is alright!" my grandmother fretted, adjusting my hat for what felt to be the thirteenth time.

"Rachel is quite fine, as I told you before. She is just handling her first bit of scandal and I must be there to help her along," I answered, shifting a little away from her, watching as her hands fell back to her sides.

"Perhaps I should come?"

I tried to not let her see the horror of the suggestion as it seeped quickly through my veins like poison. Instead, I smiled sweetly. "I'm sure it will be quite alright Grandmother. If something happens and we are in need of you, I shall write."

"Well, only if you are sure."

"I am," I said as I began backing away, as it was time to board the train. "Farewell Grandmother! I shall see you at my wedding!"

A few moments later I was seated next to my maid whom was wearing a modest traveling suit of brown wool that would not show the soot of the train. But I, of course, could never wear something so drab, and so I wore a scarlet gown that was made of lighter material with a beautiful matching hat. The soot would show on it, but only if I had lack of care towards it. Some things women spoke of being unavoidable were just because of their carelessness.

I found myself turning my engagement ring absently around my finger as the English scenery sped past us. I had ultimately decided not to tell James of the false ring. He obviously had no knowledge of it, and I found that if I put vinegar on my finger at night, it took away the majority of the green. And if I also refrained from getting it wet it was less likely to change it the ugly shade of emerald.

Not that I wasn't completely infuriated about it—but I was quite sure he would be just as surprised with the knowledge as I was.

And so I had made the decision to not say a word, as I would be getting my official wedding ring in about a month. If someone still bested James by selling him such forgery I would see that they would regret it.

Though this was the least of my worries at the moment.

Who could have possibly sent me the other note? And what problem did I possess that needed a solution?

Oh, these thoughts exasperated me the entire ride home, and I was feeling of poor sport, which did not surpass my maid's attention who seemed to be trying harder to lay under my usual scrutinizing gaze, that of which just made me more annoyed and more likely to find things to snap at her about.

"Honestly Marie, I don't see what's so hard about this to understand," I said, exhausted as I flexed my fingers, trying to break in the stiff material of the expensive kid leather that covered my hands and wrists.

"Sorry miss, I shall try harder to please you next time."

"Thank you," I snipped as I leaned my head against the window, watching as the scenery became more industrialized, hinting to our coming to London.

It didn't take long to arrive there, and when we did my family's carriage proceeded to pick me up and take me to our estate, all the while I was knotting my fingers in the material of my dress and twisting them through the stray pieces of my hair that the pins just couldn't hold up. I would definitely be chided for my lack of manners if I was around my mother or my grandmother, but the only person with me was my timid maid, and she looked out the window, daydreaming as usual—and for once I let her do it without bothering her.

As soon as we pulled up, our carriage driver proceeded to come around and open the door, but I ignored his offered hand as I skipped up the steps to our home, holding my skirt away from the dirt and dust that rolled upon the ground from the wind. I burst through the parlor door, surprising our butler as I barreled past him with all the demeanor of a racing Thoroughbred. I located my parents easily in one of our drawing rooms. They both sat with cups of tea turned cold and bitter expressions to match.

Something was definitely wrong.

"What is going on?" I demanded through my labored breathing, swiping my bangs from my sweaty forehead.

No one answered, and my father nodded away all of the help until it was just the three of us alone. I barley spared a thought to where my sisters were.

It still remained quiet and I seethed—hating that they knew something I didn't.

"Well out with it! This is simply torturous."

"Have a seat my dear," my father said, gesturing to the chair in front of him, talking over the sobs that had just escaped from my mother's throat.

I obeyed, smoothing down my skirt as I arranged myself neatly on the leather softness with all the decency I would at the most important social call.

"Audrey…it seems our funds have…disappeared."

The room narrowed beyond my vision, turning into a small little expanse of space that made no sense. Everyone looked at me for my reaction and, "What?" was the only word I could conjure.

"You see, James and his family…," he trailed off, clearing his throat delicately as my mother broke off into tears again, "…they agreed to plan the remainder of the wedding, and as you know, the bride's family must pay for it. So they had access to our funds, which are now gone, as are they."

Thoughts blurred together—denial and understanding were all rolled into one. My first reaction was that it was simply not possible. The Hollingsworths were one of the most prestigious families in London! Why would they run off with our money, risking scandal and rejection for us both?

But then, with a wave of nausea, all the pieced of the puzzle came together. The strange stares James and his father exchanged, as if they had been planning this all along, and they _had been. _The small comments that made no sense to me but held an undertone of meaning I had not wanted to hear—that I would not listen to even if it could of saved us from this. The false ring was just that—counterfeit, just like his feelings. They did not have the funds to afford one and so they had gotten me something inexpensive to shut me up until they disappeared. And I had fallen for it. I had brought my family to ruin all because of my stupid selfishness and my unwillingness to believe.

"But you see my dear…there is more."

"More?" I questioned, my stomach lurching, telling me what I really wanted to do: lean over into the potted plant beside me and retch, but I kept the bile done with a sip of unsweetened tea.

"Yes, you see," my mother began, dabbing her eyes as she spoke in a shaky voice thick with tears, "Henry Mossberg proposed to Jacqueline yesterday. He is very wealthy, as you know, and so when we demanded your sister marry him, she refused. We figured you of all people would be able to talk some sense into her, but…Audi…she left. She's gone."

Tears prickled on the edges of my eyes and I squeezed them shut. I didn't have to check outside to know that her precious stable boy had gone with her. They had left together to start a life—while we burned back home in the fires of ruin.

"This cannot be possible," I argued, opening my eyes that were now suddenly fierce.

"I'm afraid it is my pet," Father said gravely, patting my hand from across the small tea table. "But we will fix this, I promise. All you have to do is find a wealthy husband who is none the wiser."

"And until then?" I questioned bleakly, sarcasm having escaped me for the moment.

"We make up a story about why the engagement was broken off and we live like we did before. We still have enough money to do that for at least a month."

The despair of the evening weighted itself upon my shoulders and tension was easing slowly but surely into my neck. My sister vanished, my engagement broken, and my status _gone. _Everything was simply _gone_.

"Do you understand what we must do Audrey?" my mother asked, eyeing my fiercely as I knew I was their only hope to salvage our lives.

"I understand," I whispered, bowing my head, before excusing myself to my room.

I lay on my bed and cried. It was the deep kind of sobbing that hurt your chest and took your breath away. The worst kind because no one was there to comfort you, to hold your hand and pat your back as they told you everything would be okay. Even if someone had been there, it wouldn't have helped. I was in no humor to hear the false promised that rang behind comforted words.

James was gone…he had never loved me and he had only used me as his way to pay off whatever sort of debts he had acquired. Worst of all, I had fallen for it. And Jackie gone, left to start a life with the man she loved, abandoning us when we needed her most. But I could not be angry with her, I was too envious.

And now my hopes of marrying for love and not just status was thrown out the window. I would be married to the highest bidder, and it did not matter if he was older than my father or if he simply wanted me as a trophy. It didn't _matter _because I had to do what was right by my family, for my family, and most of all for me. I could not give up my life yet, and the despair of what was to come kept me on my bed, sobbing until the numbing headache drove me into blissful unconsciousness.

--

I woke the next morning with a nightmare leering at me from the darkness, a dream I could not remember but could only grasp that it had been terrible. It took me five whole minutes to remember that it was not a dream, and I cried all over again.

I managed to emerge from my room an hour later, seemingly dressed and with powder under my eyes to hide their puffy lids. It was hard to think about what today meant—what the rest of my life meant.

Was it truly worth it?

I found myself contemplating this as I walked down our grand staircase, my hand gripping the oak railings as if it was the only thing that was weighting me to this earth. Perhaps it was. I felt that if I let go, I would float away—a crumbled petal caught in the strong winds of life that no longer made sense.

"Oh good! You're awake!" My maid rushed to me and held out a letter. "Your parents are out and this came for you miss! The messenger boy said it was of utmost importance and should be delivered immediately. I didn't want to wake you since…"

_Since I knew you were up all night crying._

She didn't have to finish the sentence, and although she did not know the reason for my depression, she knew it was there all the same. I stopped her ramblings by lifting up my hand and using the other to take the letter. I retreated back into my room, gripping the mysterious parchment between my fingers. I ripped it open greedily, walking to my window as I did so. I seated myself upon its sill as my eyes scanned hungrily over the words.

_Miss Audrey Cross,_

_Now that you know of your problem I shall offer my solution: marry me. I can give you all the wealth and comfort you do not wish to leave behind. I shall send my messenger round at six o'clock for your response. And do not worry, my silence is trustworthy._

_-E_

My hands began to tremble with both dread and excitement. I did not have to compare this writing to the letter I had received yesterday to know that the author was the same.

--

**Genny's Note: I have lots of excuses, but I shall spare you. A lot of long days and crying jags are behind me now, and I hope you can forgive me of my absence and show me you still care about this story by reviewing. **


	7. Steel Trap

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Seven: Steel Trap  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_She could already feel the stunning weight of a lifetime of regret…and she knew it was enough to bury her alive...Her life, she realized, had all the charm of a steel trap."_

_-Elizabeth Holland, The Luxe by Anna Godbersen_

-_-_

_Audrey._

"Don't you think we should accept without questions? What if he decides upon someone else during our hesitation?" my mother asked with eyes wide and contemplating.

I gave a very heavy sigh, my eyes boring into Mother's. "This is not a deal to purchase a new dress or a campaign for Parliament. This is my _life, _Mother, my _marriage_. How I will live from now on. I will not simply receive a penned marriage proposal and say yes. Who knows what we could be getting ourselves into? He could be trying to scam us and going through that again does _not_ suit me."

We had been going around in circles for hours. My mother was positive that we should write back immediately, accepting his proposal but I wasn't so quick to sentence myself to a man I had never met. My father was somewhat in the middle of our positions but within the last hour he had been leaning more towards my side.

"I still say we should write him back, agreeing to meet and discuss this…arrangement." I swallowed audibly, hating that my marriage was now a bargain.

"She has a point, my dear," my father coaxed as he took a sip of his brandy. He was definitely feeling the effects of it now. You could tell from his loud voice and absurd hand motions. "Besides, Henry Mossberg has agreed to settle for Audrey since Jacqueline has…refused him."

"_Settle_ for me?" I asked incredulously. "I would rather _not_ marry Henry. He's as old as you are, Father!"

"There is no shame in marrying someone wiser than you." He sniffed.

"He is not _wiser_, just fatter, uglier, and all he wants me for is so he can—"

"Audrey!" my mother barked. "That is quite enough. You will do whatever is needed to save your family. If this 'E' fellow does not work out we will meet with Mister Mossberg as soon as possible."

I realized at that moment I was nothing but a pawn in their twisted little game to remain where we were. And as much as I wanted to linger in society and be wealthy, I was slowly beginning to think it wasn't worth it. How much was happiness worth? Would I merely live to please others and purely be something for my future husband to display? Would I sit around while he traveled and just hang on his arm when it was necessary? Would I simply bear his children and raise them in silence?

I couldn't. I couldn't! _I couldn't!_

But no one was listening to me. I was just another lost soul in this world, screaming in a room full of people who couldn't hear…who wouldn't hear. They would just turn their ears to more pleasant things and pretend evil and despair didn't exist. They would remain as shallow as their teacups, only caring when it benefited them, and never when it mattered.

I was a free spirit who couldn't be smothered, and that was why at that time Erik was my only hope. But I knew little of what I was getting myself into.

--

_E,_

_I am willing to consider your proposal but I would rather meet you first. You understand. You are invited to my family's home any day over the next two weeks. Thank you and I hope to see you soon._

_Sincerely, _

_Audrey Cross_

--

The next week passed agonizingly slow and everyone in the household at around four in the afternoon and until dinner was over was on edge, awaiting the potential arrival of our mysterious letter sender. But in those first seven days he didn't come and I fell slowly into a depression and the foulest mood I had ever been in. Everyone, especially the help, avoiding me like the plague. Even Rachel hurried from the room when I entered and she always seemed too willing to agree with anything and everything I said.

On the night of the seventh day I went to bed early, only to be woken up by a horrible scratchy feeling in my throat. I rose to get a drink of water, and as I was walking down the hall I could see the light glowing beneath the cracks and I ventured over to wish them goodnight. I raised my fist to knock on the door when I heard my name.

"…Audrey…"

"…tomorrow…Mossberg…"

"…sure…"

"…only way…"

"…she'll understand…"

They spoke in quiet whispers and so I only caught a few words, but it was enough to know what they were planning. Tomorrow, aged and repulsive Mister Mossberg would come over and my parents would arrange our marriage and I would be forced to be tied down to him for the remainder of my life.

Angry tears sprung to my eyes and my chest constricted painfully as I backed away and took off down the hallway.

Was this the same feeling Jacqueline got right before she left? Did she feel this despair and loneliness, as if there was no way out? Was she somewhere in England with rolling green hills and no limits, or was she in the beautiful town of Paris, finally able to be herself after all the years of restraint? I didn't know—but I suddenly desperately wished that I was wherever she was. What I wouldn't give for her strong arms holding me and telling me it was being okay as only a big sister could.

But it was impossible, for she was gone. And so I burst into Rachel's room where she was sitting in front of her vanity, brushing slowly through her coppered colored hair.

She read the expression on my face like a book. "Audrey! What's wrong?" she asked, immediately standing.

It was then I couldn't take it anymore. Everything that had happened in the past week finally exploded within me and I just sank to the floor, my knees bending and giving out beneath me. I crumbled like a ruined cake that had buckled upon itself.

Rachel was next to me subsequently, wrenching my hands away from my face and pulling me into her embrace. If anyone would understand me right now, it was her. My little sister, who lived with romantic notions accompanying her day in and day out, knew what how wretched this whole thing was.

I was always going to marry for love and happiness and now—now it was all gone. Every little speck of happiness that had been at my fingertips only days earlier was now gone—taken away from someone who didn't care about how my life turned out.

Oh, was there any hope?

--

I was finally cried out; my loud and obnoxious hiccups had subsided into deep breaths and sniffles. My left foot was asleep from staying in the same position on the floor for so long. I could feel my eyes were swollen and hair was stuck to my ruddy cheeks.

"Audrey, don't worry. We'll make this right," Rachel said, finally pulling away to look at me.

"How?" I hiccupped again. "Tomorrow Mother and Father are bringing Mister Mossberg into our home and that means I shall marry him. He will be the sire of my children who will have noses as big as his own! It's too much to handle! I can't do this. Maybe Jacqueline finally had something right. She was smart to get out while she could."

It was quiet for a moment before Rachel looked away, adjusting her legs so they were crossed beneath her nightgown.

"Do you think she's happy now? Do you think Jackie is glad she left?"

I scooted myself next to her, laying my head on her shoulder, my hand finding hers and grasping it tightly. "I have to believe she's better than we are. She deserved happiness." Miserable tears bubbled over again. "Oh Rachel! I was awful to her before she left! I called her selfish and cruel for not doing as Mama and Papa said. I'm horrible. I just wish I could tell her I was sorry."

"I'm sure she knows it." She sighed. "I wonder if we'll see her again."

"We will, Rachel. Maybe after my debut we can go to Paris together and live! We can find Jacqueline and do something splendid!"

One knock, two, three sounded downstairs and my sister and I immediately straightened. My eyes flashed to the small ticking clock on her nightstand and the time said it was ten. It was awfully late for company and I sprang to my feet.

"Audrey—"

"Wait here," I commanded.

"But—wait—"

"Rachel. Don't you dare leave this room," I snapped before slipping out and shutting the door behind me. I saw my parents light was off and I presumed they had gone to sleep as well. I saw neither a butler nor a maid make their way to the door and so I made it there myself.

_Stupid. Idiotic! You're going to get yourself killed, Audrey! Who comes uninvited to someone's home this late? It could be Jackie!_

That was the only incentive I needed and I sprang down the last few steps before skidding to a stop at the door and swinging it open.

A dark figure stood there, swathed in black and I immediately balked. I realized at that moment how I was dressed—in my thin and transparent nightgown. It was a small, lacy thing and I immediately felt self-conscious.

"I believe you are expecting me," he said then taking a small step forward and into the light.

I could only gasp.

--

"Rachel! Rachel!" I bounded into her room, slamming the door shut and pressing my back upon it was it was secure. "He's here!"

"Who is?" she asked, springing up from her spying perch at her window.

"The man who sent the letter! He has just come. He is downstairs with Mama and Papa now!"

"Why is he here so _late?_" Rachel asked, trying to gather why I was so happy.

"Who cares?" I retorted. "I may not have to marry Mister Mossberg after all!" I grabbed her hands and smiled. "There is still hope!"

"Is he handsome?" she asked dreamily. "And oh, he sounds so mysterious Audrey! Coming here in the middle of the night to claim your hand! How dreadfully romantic." She put a hand to her forehead dramatically, and upon seeing my less than enthused response froze. "What?"

"I do not quite understand it myself," I began slowly, "but he was wearing a mask."

"A mask?" she asked, looking just as confused as I did.

"Yes, a half white mask over the right side of his face."

"How strange. I wonder what for." A pause. "What does he look like besides that?"

I rolled my eyes slightly. "I only saw him for a moment."

"You must have noticed something else!"

"Well…" I thought for a moment. "His clothes were very nice, and you could tell they were tailored for him. He looked quite average. A little skinny perhaps, but not much else."

"Well, what do you think?"

"I think that if this man is as wealthy as he leads on and is still interested in our…_deal_…I shall accept. He was definitely younger than Mister Mossberg!"

But I didn't lead on to what I was really feeling: a sick pool of dread had settled in my stomach. What kind of man wore a mask to meet his potential fiancée? What did he have to hide? And showing up at the time he did…well my parents were surprised to say in the very least. But at least now I had options. Options were good. Options were something I didn't have an hour ago—and it was better than nothing.

A knock sounded on our door and after a polite "come in" from Rachel my father came in looking dreadfully tired and confused. It was probably a mirror of what I looked like right now.

"What happened?" I asked eagerly.

"What?" he asked absently, and then gathered quickly what I was speaking of. "Oh, not much really. He apologized for coming so late, that he had gotten lost trying to find our home. John is preparing a room for him and he shall stay here. Tomorrow we shall discuss things."

I gave a light nod and leaned against the wall, suddenly exhausted.

"Audrey, Rachel, listen to me. You two are to both sleep in Audrey's room tonight and do not leave for any reason. We do not know what kind of man this is and we are only letting him in to have a chance to explain himself tomorrow."

_You forgot to say, dear Father, that he is to save us from ruin by marrying me through something that is strictly business—what you promised me I would never have to go through. You are only letting this masked stranger, who could potentially be dangerous, into our home for your own selfish reasons._

"Yes Papa," we both said simultaneously before I grabbed Rachel's hand and led her to my own room.

Long after she fell asleep, I lay there quietly staring at the ceiling, a strange sensation spread through my body when I remembered my perhaps future husband was somewhere in our home—maybe laying awake and thinking of me too. It was quite odd, and I wondered if he felt the same way as I did.

I only wished that tomorrow would bring answers, but most importantly: hope. Hope for my family, hope for myself, and maybe, just maybe, he needed a little hope in his life as well.

--

**Genny's Note: A bit of a shorter chapter, but I want to save their meeting for the next chapter, as it promises to be lengthy. Thank you all for your kind reviews and support. (: I really appreciate it.**

**It seems that now that Audrey has to marry someone that she doesn't love that the socialite life isn't worth it anymore. Could this perhaps be the barest hint of a revelation? Hmm. Review and find out, for it helps me write faster. This chapter is proof! Have a good week.**


	8. Kindled Spirit

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Eight: Kindled Spirit  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_"No one feels another's grief; no one understands another's joy. People imagine that they can reach one another. In reality they only pass each other by."_

_-Franz Schubert_

--

_Erik._

I had honestly not meant to show up at the Crosses at such a late hour.

All the planning I had been doing in the past few weeks had left me tired and with little sleep—not that I slept that much anyways. But upon leaving my own home, the gentle rocking of the carriage lolled me to sleep. My idiotic driver had gotten lost and was too dimwitted—or frightened—to wake me up, and so he had wandered the streets of London, asking for directions and finally finding his way. I only woke up when we were finally there after nightfall, and definitely after dinner. After giving my driver and very long and tedious scolding about what a fool he was, he was lucky he was left unharmed, I went up to the door.

My mind was still groggy and I was a little disoriented. I hoped these people had the right sense to offer me for a room tonight. If I was forced to return home until tomorrow my driver wasn't going to get away as easily as last time. So I finally stood on their porch and I gave three loud knocks to alert the household of my presence.

It didn't take long to hear someone swiftly coming down the stairs and approaching the door. I expected a butler in his long underwear or a maid with a hastily buttoned dressing gown to answer the door, but no. Who answered left us both in shock.

Audrey pulled open the door with such fleetness that if I hadn't been practicing how to control my reactions my entire life I would have startled back. But instead I merely stood there, observing the scene before me.

Her hair was loose, and it came down across her shoulders and down her back in perfect golden ringlets. The icy depths of her eyes were wide with fright and curiosity, though she did take a step or two back. But what was most surprising of all was she was just in her nightgown, nothing more. A fierce animalistic hunger overtook me for a moment before I pushed it down as I had done my whole life.

"I believe you are expecting me," I said in a way of introducing myself.

It was then she sucked in a deep gasp of air and I was immediately confused. What was so surprising about me besides my hour of arrival? Ah wait, the mask, I though a moment later, feeling completely idiotic. My mask was such a part of me that I sometimes forgot it was there, but the blissful unawareness never lasted long.

"Let me go get my father," she said quickly before she sprang off to go upstairs, hair flying wildly behind her. She had left the door open and so I took it as my invitation inside. I would have to make sure she would not be so stupid to let masked strangers into our home in the middle of the night once we were wed. And yes, I knew we were going to be wed because I was going to give them a deal they couldn't refuse.

A few moments later, in his bedclothes, came whom I presumed to be her father. He looked very annoyed at my late entrance but I acted as if nothing was amiss in the world. He simply said we would speak tomorrow about the matter at hand and then offered me a room—much to the luck of my driver. I then instructed one of their maids to help my driver out in the front and then tended to myself. I brought in my small trunk alone, waving off the help that had come down rubbing sleep from their eyes. I preferred to carry my own belongings, as there were many items I did not want to be seen or lost.

I took a few of them out once I had changed into my own bedclothes. Due to my extended nap, I figured I wouldn't be sleeping much that night and as I had no form of instrument at my hand I would have to find other ways to entertain myself.

I sat on the edge of my bed and listened to the sounds of the house settling down again. Once all was quiet, I took a small picture frame that I kept of my person at all times. It was a small picture about the size of my palm and it was of Christine. It was the only photo I had of her and I treasured it more than any other item in my possession.

"Is it healthy to carry that around everywhere, Erik?" Nadir had asked when he caught me looking at it one night at his flat.

"No, probably not. But she is the only woman I loved, the only woman I will ever love. I cannot let her go."

And so everything I was planning with Miss Cross felt like a betrayal. Was I really betraying Christine by marrying another woman? If I were looking at the situation logically, I would say that no, of course I was not betraying her. She had left me for another man, a _safer_ man who, though difficult to admit, was the sane choice in the situation. I had thought for one silly moment that my plan would work. I knew, of course, that she would be angry with me for what I had made happen. But she would come to love me—I was sure of it.

We could have a home above ground and we could be a normal couple—maybe even have children some day.

But it was these foolish hopes that eventually crushed me. When she had left, all hopes for anything relatively normal had gone with her. I was born into a world where I would always be alone, and it was finally time I accepted that.

So why was I even bothering with Audrey?

I wasn't completely sure. If anything, it was a quest of self-discovery. We can often look at one another and see the person they are easily, or interpret a character from a book and make predictions on how they will react based on the individual they are. But looking into ourselves—well that is the most complicated thing there is. More often than not, we do not know the reason for our actions until after we have done them. Maybe this was the case with Audrey—maybe not. Maybe I knew exactly what I was doing and just refused to stare it in the face. I suppose I just didn't want to be alone any longer.

And besides that fact, I didn't want to see Audrey's spirit wither away. There was something about her that wanted me to keep her with me always—to see her reactions and watch her grow as a person. In our time era, I had seen too many women with spirit simply become smiling statues, simply the showing the desired image back at their husbands. I could just see this happening to Audrey, especially when James and his family ran off with her family's fortune. Audrey was going to have to marry someone with money to save her family from ruin. So why not me? I would not smother her as many other men would—and perhaps we could be of some use of one another.

The only thing that shattered me from my thoughts was the fact that I realized I had been staring at Christine's portrait and thinking of another woman. A stab of pain and a wave of relief washed through me at once and I put the picture frame away in my nightstand drawer with disgust. I had such mixed feelings about forgetting her. I didn't want to—because I loved her, but then again it would be a release to finally do so and move on with my life, but I also felt guilty for doing so. Would I ever have peace in my life?

All these thoughts left me feeling more tired that I had been in the carriage. So after I put a few more items away I lay down on the oversized bed and slept as I had not slept before.

--

I woke with a start, immediately glancing at the clock that was on the table next to be. It was already eleven o'clock! I jumped up, cleaning up and dressing quickly; thoroughly embarrassed I had sleepy so late. They were probably waiting on me to discuss what was going to happen.

Though Nadir disagrees, it really isn't my fault that I move so silently. I just have done so my entire life, and as it proved to usually be a very handy quality, I never strived to change it. Though on this particular morning, it wound me being able to eavesdrop on a very private conversation between Miss Cross and her father in one of the many drawing rooms. Upon hearing her distressed voice, I paused outside the door after I made sure I was quite alone, which I was.

"But Papa—"

"Audrey." The commanding tone in his voice left her silent, and he as well before he sighed. "Dear girl, do you not realize what will happen to us if you do not go through with this?"

"I do Papa, but there must be a different way!"

"You could be a governess! Is that what you want: to tend to our friends' spoiled children and never attending a ball again unless you are their chaperone?"

She had then begun to cry. "N-no…," she stuttered, her voice muffled by something, her hands, I presumed.

"Then you must be a big girl and do what is best for your family."

"You needn't speak of me that way! I am not a child." Her voice seemed to be gaining momentum but still had the breathy quality to it as most do when crying.

"I am your father and you will do as I say! You will not abandon your family as Jacqueline has."

"I don't want to abandon you or Mama or Rachel! But why must I be the one to sacrifice everything?"

"Because it was your fiancé who wiped us clean of everything!"

There was a small gasp there, and I held my own breath too, anxious to see what was going to happen.

"You were perfectly happy with me marrying him! I had no clue about what he was up to—I had no way of knowing! How _dare _you pin this on me, Father? _How dare you._ You have no right!"

Now the next thing that happened did so very quickly, and I was caught in my own trap. Audrey flung herself from the room, and by then I was attempting to back up and hide myself from her view. I was not quick enough though, and when she flew around the corner in her haste to get away from her father, slammed directly into me.

She gasped as she backed up, and I got a good look at her. She was wearing a simple scarlet dress and her tears were red from crying, though there were no tears on her face at that moment. She had wiped them away. She looked very shocked upon seeing me there, and I suppose I did as well.

"Oh, you heard everything, didn't you?"

I am rarely at a loss of words—even if they are merely sarcastic ones meant to turn the situation around—but I was at one of those moments.

"I—uh—yes."

"Audrey!" We both turned around to see her father standing in the doorway looking absolutely horrified at her behavior. "You will treat our guest with respect!"

"Why should I?" she demanded childishly. "I hate him! And I hate you for making me do this!" With a small sob she hurled herself down the hallway and up the stairs and a few moments a door slammed with such ferocity the picture frames nearby rattled on the wall.

"Oh, do forgive her behavior! She is not in a good state of mind. She needs a little rest to clear her mind is all. She doesn't mean it. Would you like to wait for us in the drawing room?" he asked, gesturing to the room he had just occupied. I merely nodded, a little frazzled by what had just happened. I wasn't even in the room when I heard his hurried footsteps go down the hall.

A moment later a maid entered with her eyes wide, whether it was at my mask or at what had just happened, I didn't know. Nor did I care.

"Would you care for tea, _monsieur_?"

I detected a small French accent in her voice, and so I answered, "_Aucuns merci vous, mademoiselle._"

She gave a light smile and a nod, before curtseying and departing from the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Had I really thought that Audrey would come to me smiling, ready to be my wife? Of course I had not, but the fact that she so readily rejected the idea of marrying me stung a little. You would think that after a life of rejection it would not hurt as much, but the truth was it hurt every single time.

But I did salvage my mind with the thought that she had not said anything about me _directly_. Perhaps she just hated the idea of marrying for money rather than love, and that I could live with. I was not expecting her to fall in love with me—as I had accepted long ago that no one could. But I was hoping that perhaps one day we could enjoy each other's company and perhaps even become friends.

I gave a harsh laugh at that.

Why did I let myself keep hoping? She would probably be terrified of me and grow to resent me as everyone in my life has—except Nadir, but I tallied that up to the loss of his wife and child and his lack of common sense a while ago.

It was only five minutes later did they all file into the room: Mister Cross and his wife and Audrey trailing behind, her head lowered so that her face was shielded from me. It confused me, and I found myself wondering where the spirited woman I had met the night of the ball was.

"My daughter—" a gentle shove pushed her forward "—has something to say."

Audrey had made a small noise of protest and had looked at her mother who nodded encouragingly before she had turned back to face me with a deep sigh.

"I am deeply sorry for my behavior earlier. It was not proper, nor did I mean any of the things I said."

I could have laughed at that. Her tone of voice made it _very_ clear she had meant every single word. But I let it slide.

"It's quite alright. Now, I would like to properly introduce myself. I am Erik Destler."

I saw Audrey's jaw open for a moment as her parents introduced themselves and then their daughter.

"You are the man from my engagement ball!" she said, her eyes shining with recognition.

"Audrey!" her mother barked.

"No, it's true. I met your daughter at the ball thrown for her and Mister..." I drew up a blank at the young man's name, and everyone immediately filled it in.

"Hollingsworth."

"Ah, yes, Hollingsworth," I echoed.

"That is hardly important," her mother tsked at her daughter as they all took a seat and began accepting tea from the servants. I rejected mine a second time, just wanting to get on with the planning.

"So I suppose I am here to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. I am willing to pay one hundred thousand pounds for your acceptance, and I shall take a great care of her. You will not need to worry about money again."

"What makes you think we worry—?"

I held up my hand to signify silence. "I have known all along what happened between you and the Hollingsworths and that is why I am here. Do not fear, for I shall not speak of this transaction to anyone."

"Well then, Mister Destler, I do not see any reason we cannot accept this offer. But will you please give me time to discuss it with my family?" Mister Cross said, his eyes sparkling at how easy getting out of his predicament not was.

"Yes, but please do try to have an answer after dinner tonight. There is much work that needs to be done."

"Of course. Now, please join us in the dining room for lunch."

We all then rose and began filing out of the room, Audrey trailing everyone. She had not said a single thing since her "apology" and it had not gone unnoticed. Though at this moment she boldly grabbed my coat sleeve and tugged it backwards.

"Wait a moment with me," she whispered under her breath.

Curiosity got the better of me and I turned around to face her, taking my arm back as I did so. "Yes Miss Cross?"

"Why me?" she asked bluntly. "Why did you choose me?"

"I do not believe it is any of your business," I said harshly, hoping that it was the end of the conversation.

"No Erik," she said, using my first name, sending chills down my spine at the way it sounded on her tongue. It was completely improper of course, but I did not correct her. "It has _everything _to do with me. I am not asking for a grand response—but _something_. If I am to be married to you I would like to know why."

"You parents have not secured the deal yet," I pointed out logically. It was then a look crossed her face—one I will never forget.

Her hard façade dropped, her lips drooped and her eyes watered. I daresay she looked like a six-year-old girl begging for another piece of candy. It was at that moment I saw that in our future, she would get a lot of what she wanted. Not everything—but many battles would be won with that face.

"Don't you see?" she whispered. "They have already given me away. Now please—just a simply answer."

"You truly want to know why?" I asked, waiting for her nod before I continued. "Because you have a spirit within you I do not want to see die."

--

**Genny's Note: So I got really sick. The kind of sick where people from school are calling and asking if you died because you haven't been to school in a long time, sick. But it's all good now (: And here is a chapter to prove it! I hope you guys enjoy it. Review please.**

**And as for the French used earlier in the chapter, I took German. I have no clue how to speak French. I used a free translation website, and it is supposed to mean, "No thank you, miss." So if I got it wrong, please feel free to correct me. (:**


	9. Understanding

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Nine: Understanding  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."_

_-Maria Robinson_

--

_Audrey._

"He said _what_?" Rachel asked incredulously, her eyes following me as I paced the length of her bedroom floor.

"That he chose me because he didn't want my spirit to die," I repeated, stopping mid-step to look at her. "What does he mean by that? I've never met him before, except that one time at my ball. How does he know how I am?" I gasped, the obvious thing finally becoming clear to me. "Of course!"

"What?" Rachel exclaimed as she jumped up to stand by my side. "What is it?"

Was it possible that he had set me up? Set _James _up? When I voiced this to Rachel, all she simply did was cock her head quizzically to the left and think for a moment before conjuring up an answer.

"Honestly Audrey? I believe you are simply looking for a reason that James left, besides the fact he is a slippery bastard."

My mouth fell open at her language—and I knew I should reprimand her for it, but I wasn't her etiquette teacher, and it was just too funny. I began to laugh while she blushed and looked down. But she did have a very legit point.

"A 'slippery bastard.' I shall have to remember that one," I replied with a grin as I walked across the room and fell into a plush chair that sat in the corner. "But I am quite serious Rachel. Why has he chosen me?"

She gave a light shrug, sitting in front of her vanity and brushing her hair out, one copper curl at a time. "Maybe he was telling the truth."

"Such a strange reason though," I mused aloud, glancing out the window. The sun was finally setting, dipping behind the London buildings. Dinner was going to be soon, and with dinner came my parent's answer, which I already knew was going to be yes. There was no point in torturing myself over what they would decide. Rachel knew it as well as I did, and so we had not talked about it.

She eventually set the brush aside and looked at me from the mirror. "It's almost time for dinner," she said softly.

I sighed, looking down at my casual dress and knew it was time to go change. So I left my sister's room and went into my own, dismissing my maid so I could be alone for a few precious moments. I shimmied out of the comfortable cotton dress and slid into one made of silk, but that was of the same scarlet color. Besides blue, I knew it was my best color. I could have worn a gentle blue to match my eyes and make me look soft, but I had been nothing but weak in front of Erik all day, and it was time to act as I usually did. A bold color would only enhance this.

I then looked at my hair and saw that it was still as I had worn it today: my curls were simply pinned away from my face and flowing down my back, I should have had it put up, but I did not feel like having my head jabbed with several dozen pins and so I left it alone, only adding a delicate diamond necklace to complete the ensemble. I slipped on a pair of small slippers that were pointless, as no one would see them, and then I was ready.

A knock on my door then sounded, and my maid appeared after I granted her access. "Dinner is ready, miss."

I didn't respond, simply stood and made my way out, ready to accept what my fate now was. I would be like the millions of other resentful girls who would be forced into an arranged marriage, and it was all that dreaded James Hollingsworth's fault! He had doomed me to this and if I ever had the luxury of seeing him again I would be sure to give him a piece of my mind. Of course I had already gone through countless possible conversations we could have, though I knew seeing him again was quite unlikely. Still, it was fun to imagine.

I stepped out of my room and made my way down the stairs where everyone was already waiting.

"Ah, Audrey," my mother smiled, "won't you have a seat with us, darling?"

I gave a small smile and obeyed, upset that no sarcastic comment seemed to reach my mind, thus making it hard to show my displeasure towards Erik. He seemed to be just fine where he was: sitting at the opposite head of the table across my father, as if he somehow showed up with a written and signed document from Queen Victoria herself saying he could come here and make my life miserable.

After we had blessed our food and began eating, my father wasted no time introducing the topic that everyone was waiting for—well everyone but me that is.

"Well Mister Destler, we have taken the afternoon to think about your offer—" I had to keep myself from snorting at this. They had made their decision the moment he had walked into our home. But I remained silent, my eyes trained angrily on my plate, "—and we have ultimately decided to accept," my father finished.

I had to bite my lip from giving out a sarcastic and surprised gasp. I couldn't look at my parents. I didn't belong to them anymore; they had given me away—sold me like a prized Thoroughbred at the moment trouble's shadow crossed through our home. If you couldn't trust your family anymore, who else did you have? Jacqueline had left, and Rachel was too young to understand. My parents didn't care about anything but the fact that they had gotten out of poverty. I could, however, look at Erik to see what his reaction was.

He looked calm. Nothing changed from his expression. No ecstatic hand gesture or even a twitch of a smile. He didn't care about me either. I was utterly alone—and I would have to learn to accept that.

"Very good Mister Cross. I am glad to hear of it."

"Oh, when should the wedding be?" my mother asked, clasping her gloved hands together in excitement.

I didn't know I had exhaled an angry breath until every eye on the table was drawn to me. I met their stares with my own, not letting myself falter. If there was one time I had to be strong, it was now.

"Something wrong, dearest?" my father asked with concern, though probably not at my welfare but at what Erik would think of me.

"Yes. I'm unhappy to report I'm not feeling well. Excuse me," I finished, tossing my napkin onto my plate before I stood up, gathering the yards of silk into my arms in hopes to make a hastier exit, something in which I succeeded in. In a moment I was in my room, and I flung myself across my bed, grabbed a pillow from the neatly made sheets and screamed into it. I squeezed it to misshapen shapes until I finally threw it across the room, watching in satisfaction when it knocked some of my belongings from my desk and onto the floor.

"Audrey!" I recognized my mother's voice and she tried the door a moment later. I had already locked it. "You must come down at once!"

"I'm indisposed!" I shrieked back as I stood from my bed and stared angrily at my door, the tears still pouring down my cheeks.

"It does not matter, you…"

I didn't hear anymore. I slipped onto my balcony for escape, letting the chilly night air bite at my bare arms, sending the hair to rise and gooseflesh to appear. But it felt good, and I didn't want to go back in my room for a shawl or a blanket.

"So much for not showing weakness in front of Erik…," I mumbled as I curled myself on a chair, hugging my legs to my chest. Then I paused a moment, thought of what I had just said and cried all over again. Erik probably just thought of me as this miserable little rich girl who was ungrateful for everything and cried when the first thing in her world went wrong.

Within the next fifteen minutes I had made a deal to myself: I would be allowed to feel self-pity and loathing for the rest of the night, but when the sun rose tomorrow I wouldn't cry anymore. I would return to the "spirited girl" Erik thought of me as and try to make the best of things.

So after a few more sniffles and tears I composed myself enough to return to my room, hoping I wouldn't find anyone there. It was empty, but a curious note sat on my nightstand, folded in half with my name on the front. I glanced around my room, suspicious, and seeing no one made my way over.

I recognized the print at once: it was Erik's. At least it was what I assumed to be Erik's writing, as it was the same way the first two notes were written. I exhaled nervously, wondering why he would leave me a note. I swallowed when I unintentionally thought of him as my fiancé. I supposed that's what he was now.

I unfolded it slowly, looking around as if someone might be reading over my shoulder, but I was still quite alone.

_Audrey,_

_I must speak with you. Meet in the library at half past eleven._

_-Erik_

Did he know this rebellious side of me? Did he know that I could not resist such a secretive meeting, under my parent's own roof no less? I had no doubt he did. But how had he left the note? I had locked the door so I wouldn't be disturbed. My eyes slowly wandered to my door.

It was still locked.

--

What did you wear to a midnight meeting with your fiancé of four hours? I did not want to stay dressed in the absurd and uncomfortable silk gown I wore to dinner. But I could not go clad in a nightgown either. I finally decided on the simple cotton dress I wore earlier, though I decided not to wear my corset. My body expanded in relief when I stripped it off me and I loosened the back of the dress before sliding it into place. I looked into the mirror for a moment to make sure nothing was out of place. I adjusted the gown to cover all inappropriate parts of my body and smoothed my feral hair with my hands to make myself more presentable. Finally, with five minutes to spare, I left my bedroom.

The hallways were dark and quiet, as expected. Everyone was snug in their beds, dreaming of the new balls and dinners they would attend thanks to Erik's money. The thought made me angry, but I pushed it away. I had to go into this with a clear mind, as I had no idea what to expect.

I let my bare feet land carefully on the plush carpet, trying to not make any sounds. If we were caught, I could only imagine the consequences. At the top of the stairs I bunched the material of the skirt into my arms, exposing my bare calves, as I had gone without stockings as well, before making my way silently down the stairs.

Sneaking out is not as hard as it sounded, it seemed.

I made it to the library just as he did, and we both stood outside the door awkwardly for a moment before he gestured me inside. I walked in, not turning around as I heard him shut the doors. I instead looked outside at our lawn; the great expanse of green shined beautifully in the moonlight. I found I was going to miss it when I had to leave to live with Erik. I finally turned around to speak with him.

"Mister Destler—"

"Erik."

"—this is _highly_ inappropriate."

"Excuse me for saying, but you don't seem to be the kind of girl who cares much for _propriety._"

"What makes you think you can simply call me down here in the middle of the night and I would just come?"

"You showed up, didn't you?"

"Yes but…," I trailed off. I had nothing to counter with.

He grinned, seeing my defeat before he strode over to the chess set in the middle of the room. With a gloved hand he gestured towards it. "Do you know how to play?"

My jaw dropped open. Surely he had not called me here in the middle of the night for a chess game! "What?" I asked, confused.

"I was simply asking if you would like to play a game."

I faltered. What on Earth did he want? I longed to depart, to leave this mysterious man that I would soon have to call _husband_ behind, but my curiosity was too piped to do so. I sighed irritably before crossing the room and taking the seat opposite.

"I shall start," I said coolly before doing so. Ten minutes later I sat back in my seat. "Checkmate."

I watched with satisfaction as Erik's eyes widened before he looked down, assessing his mistake. "Ah," he finally said before beginning to rearrange the pieces to their starting position.

I stood, walking back towards the window and looking out again. The moon was higher in the sky. It was almost midnight. It was time to put an end to this farce.

"I…This…," I started, before finally spitting, "What is exactly that you want?"

He remained silent, moving the ivory pieces to their proper places, making sure the marble figures stayed standing before he moved to the black ones. I watched him silently. His back was to me, and I noticed for the first time he was still wearing his dinner tails. And of course his mask was still in place.

"Our wedding is in a week," he finally said, still shifting the pieces.

"Oh?" I inquired quietly, trying to keep the meekness from my voice. I walked over to him and helped put some pieces away, if only for something to keep my mind and my hands occupied. We worked in silence until it was finished. When it was, I crossed my arms and looked up, suddenly feeling very small compared to him. The top of my head reached about his chest and it made me take an unconscious step back.

"You do not seem too thrilled with the idea."

I tilted my chin up, letting my eyebrows cinch together. There was no point in lying to him. "Well, it's because I'm not."

"Oh?" he responded.

"Well of course I'm not. I don't know you and you don't know me and we are to be bound together for _life_ in seven days. That is supposed to make me happy?"

He gave a sharp laugh, but I could tell by his face he didn't find anything in this situation funny.

"I suppose you have a point. But other girl's marry men they hardly know—"

"I am not 'other girls'," I intermitted.

It was his turn for his eyes to narrow and for anger to cross his face. "I don't appreciate that you know."

"What?"

"You interrupting everything I say."

"You don't have to."

He made a frustrated gesture before turning his back to me. It seemed he was trying to compose himself and I sighed, remaining silent as I took my place back towards the window. If he was going to be difficult, then fine. I would simply wait for him to explain himself.

"I bet you're wondering about the mask," he finally said.

My head perked. Of course I had been wondering, but I had enough common sense not to ask. I felt it was best not to respond and so I simply stared ahead, waiting.

"I was born with a deformity," he stated mater-of-fact. It seemed like he was talking about the weather instead of something traumatic that obviously would have had a major affect on his life. I wondered if he had always worn the mask. "As you can imagine, life for me hasn't been easy."

"I'm sorry," I said after a moment, not exactly sure what I was supposed to say.

"Don't be," he responded harshly, finally looking in my direction, his yellow eyes burning. "I am not telling you this for _pity_," he spit the word. "Just so you can understand." I nodded and he continued. "I have been on my own all my life, and this," he gestured towards me then, "is the only way to not be alone anymore."

I stood there, my hands folded neatly in front of me, shocked. Completely and utterly shocked! I suppose I had never stopped to think about the affect the mask had on his life. I had only wondered what its purpose was, and now that I knew it made me sad. There was no other word to describe it. I wondered then how ghastly the deformity was, and when he would show it to me.

I suppose my lingering stare was noticed by him because he caught my eyes and said, "You will _never_ see it."

"Alright," I responded automatically, looking down from his gaze to avoid the strange feelings that were budding in my chest. I knew he did not want pity, and so I would not give it to him. He was simply trying to make me understand why he was doing this.

And as much as I resented it, I understood. Well, somewhat.

I wanted to know more of course, but maybe when we were, I forced myself to think the word, married I would discover more about.

Erik cleared his throat awkwardly before standing next to me at the window, both of us staring silently outside.

A bird flew from the nearby field and came to rest on a tree outside the window. It hopped from branch to branch before finally taking notice of us; pausing to assess us as either an enemy or something harmless. It went with the former, quickly jumping from the tree and flying away, disappearing into the blackness of the night. I could see Erik watching it too, and I realized at that moment he probably never got to spread his wings and learn to fly.

I wondered if any of us ever would.

--

**Genny's Note: Job. Senior year. Brother leaving for Iraq. That's what I got going on in my life right now and why it took me so long to update. It'll be better from here on out though. Remember: I'll never, ever leave it. (: Hopefully you still like me (and the story) enough to review.**

**And does everyone notice in my stories that Erik likes to play chess? Haha, I always imagine him being fairly good at it. And writing the dialogue with Audrey and Erik for this chapter was amazingly fun. I will enjoy it in the future as well!**


	10. The Devil's Ceremony

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Ten: The Devil's Ceremony  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much performed._

_-Helen Rowland_

--

_Audrey_

Ah, weddings!

The very word brought excitement to the very core of my being. Girls would be in beautiful dresses and dripping in diamonds; men in their elegant tails and best cufflinks. Everyone would be speaking of the bride before the ceremony took place.

_What will she be wearing? Where will her dress be from? Who will be the maid of honor? Will she be wearing diamonds or pearls? How will she wear her hair? _

The most delicious part of weddings is the attention the bride receives before, during, and after the formal procedure. For years I have attended every wedding that crossed the society pages and watched as the young woman was fawned over and given gifts and compliments all day. I loved to see the happiness in both the bride and groom's face when she entered the church to walk up the aisle.

The champagne would be flowing freely at the reception as everyone watched in adoration as the new husband twirled his wife around the ballroom floor, everyone _awing_ at every little move they made, at every blush that touched the new bride's cheeks.

For years I had waited until it would be my turn, for it to be my day. I had dreamed about it since I was a little girl. I played wedding games with Rachel when we were children and I forced her to be my betrothed. I would always imagine a handsome man waiting for me at the end of the aisle as I walked into our makeshift church; a bundle of roses from the garden wrapped in my small hands and I would be wearing my mother's oversized dress. I would believe he was my one true love, waiting for me to walk to him so he could make me his. Everyone would tell us what a beautiful pair we made, and later we would have equally beautiful children.

This is not how my wedding went, not at all.

The morning of it I woke up as I had the past few days: with cold indifference. The last week or so had been used in planning. I had already had my fill of wedding planning and did not actively participate. Also, the fact that the ceremony would be small made me less excited to take part in. So my part mostly consisted of this: _Yes, pearls are fine. White roses would be lovely. You're right; we should take the bodice in one more inch._

The only people invited to watch us become unified in matrimony would be my family and a friend of Erik's. I almost snorted at the idea. Erik had friend! I did not mean to sound so rude but he seemed quite unsociable and I could not imagine what this friend would be like.

My mother had invited Erik to stay with us until the wedding. Although it was completely inappropriate for him and I to reside the same home before we were wed, it did not matter. No one knew of our engagement or even who Erik was, and so there was nobody around to gossip or scold.

I got up slowly, and although the actual event wasn't until the evening, I felt like getting out of bed meant I was leaving something behind. Perhaps it was my childhood, or my innocence as that night I would be with Erik. In the same bedroom. The thought sent chills through my body.

I bathed and dressed for the day, not even noticing what I wore. I then proceeded to walk downstairs only to discover my parents had gone to the church to make last minute arrangements, which roughly translated in the ordering of servants around. I walked around the house mindlessly, itching to find something to distract my mind with, but there was nothing. I only managed to make a fool of myself.

I had finally decided to get a book from the library to settle down with, intending on retrieving my favorite about Greek myths and packing it away in my trunk as well so I could take it with me. But when I entered I stumbled in on Erik and a strange foreign looking man. He had dark skin, eyes, and hair. He looked a little older than Erik but had a kindness about his features. Both men were standing close together in deep conversation and I felt as if I should leave immediately.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I did not realize you had company. I will just—"

"No, come here," Erik ordered, and I sighed but obeyed, closing the door behind me before walking to his side. He gestured to the man in front of him. "This is my friend, Nadir. He will be attending our wedding this afternoon. Nadir, this is my…fiancée, Audrey Cross."

I noticed with slight satisfaction he seemed to have as difficult time with the word as I did.

I let the man take my hand and kiss it, much to Erik displeasure before I smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you," I said.

"You too, Miss Cross. I did not think Erik would be able to get a woman as beautiful as you for a wife."

"Nadir," Erik said in warning, but I could only give a gentle laugh at his words. He seemed to be saying this intending to bother Erik, and it was quite humorous. The way Erik was scowling at him and the innocent expression Nadir held as he released my hand.

"Why Audrey, what an interesting choice of attire," Erik said with a smirk as his way of revenge. Much to my displeasure, his attention on me made Nadir's come as well.

"Your clothing…," his eyes scanned over me for a moment as he tried to find something to say and I felt my cheeks go hot. Maybe I should have paid more attention to what I had put on.

I looked down then and repressed a groan. I had put on a very light orange skirt I wore a lot in the summer, but I had paired it with a light green blouse which alone was beautiful, but with this color looked absolutely atrocious.

"It's…," Nadir searched, but Erik cut him off.

"No need to lie to her, Nadir. She does not have soft feelings. I believe she is quite aware she looks like a pumpkin."

My eyes narrowed slightly, daring either one of them to laugh. Nadir kept smartly quiet, but Erik could not, or would not, wipe the smug smirk from his face. I gave a frustrated sigh as I gathered my skirt into my hands.

"I think I shall go change now."

"An excellent idea, my dear," Erik said before I turned around and left without another word. Thoroughly chastened, I immediately retreated to my room and changed into a black skirt and a gray blouse. I believe it went with the somberness of that day.

I did not want anyone to mistake my mood for happiness.

--

I suppose for the rest of the day I simply moped about, wishing I could be anyone else but me. I avoided everyone, even snapped unnecessarily at my sister when she tried to comfort me. I felt awful about it but I could not bring myself to apologize for it.

I paced my room like a caged beast, probably running a hole in the ground from its extensiveness. Nothing seemed to calm the thrashing turmoil in my mind. To be honest I was nervous about many things, but the one that loomed dangerously close was the one that was upon me at this moment and time: my wedding night.

Yes, I had told my friends at Woldingham I was not nervous, and I was at that time, but just in the slightest. I had felt that since I knew James it would not be as terrifying as it is for many girls. But now that James was out of the picture, good riddance, I was completely frightened of what this next night would bring. I hardly knew Erik, and although he was pleasant, at times, and nice, again, at times, that did not mean I was prepared to allocate the intimacy a man and woman shared.

Yet, tonight was the night I had to do so. I would have to expose myself to him in hope that he would not turn away in disgust. And what about the pain? I had heard it would be painful but the thought of it now simply horrified me to the point of nausea. I soon found myself shaking and pale at my divan and I knew I was over thinking everything, but my mayhem would not be to rest.

How could I give that part of myself to someone I hardly knew? Shouldn't there be a law forbidding that until at least after the first six months? Parliament should definitely submit a bill on that rather than on murder. I'm sure many young girls die before their wedding from the stress of the approaching night.

And although I was petrified to the very edge of my core, I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do.

When my mother knocked on the door and told me it was time to get ready, I jumped at the opportunity, glad to have something to engage both my mind and my body.

--

The wedding, as predicted, was brisk and nothing but business. It was at a small church on the outskirts of town and there were a total of seven people in the church, including myself. As I waiting outside with my father before walking up the aisle, he glanced at me nervously.

"I'm sorry Audrey. I know this isn't what you wanted."

I had not been very cordial to my parents the past few weeks, and my heart pounded pitifully at his words. Was he truly sorry or was he just saying so? I glanced up at him only to be reflected with the startling honesty in his eyes.

"No, it wasn't," I agreed, not wanting to lie about something when my feelings were so obvious.

"I just want to say it's very tasteful of you to do this so selflessly for us, and we shall always remember it." He then kissed my cheek and it was time to go.

We walked up the short aisle before my father left me at the altar. The ceremony was short. We exchanged the typical vows, lit the candles, and soon the final line was spoken.

"You may now kiss the bride."

I felt dread rise in my chest for a moment. I had been so preoccupied about what was coming _after_ the wedding I had not thought about the kiss that was practically the signing of some sort of marriage contract. I felt a small tingling in my stomach before Erik grabbed me gently by the shoulders and turned me so I was facing the small audience we had. I looked up at him, confused, before he took my jaw in his hand and angled my head back down. With his other hand I saw him lift the mask, but as my head was turned down I could not see what lay beneath it, before placing a soft kiss on my forehead. The mask was then put back on and I watched everyone's face fall in disappointment. I suppose I was not the only curious one.

And that was it. We were married. It was all so simple really; it made me wonder why I had been so much looking forward to it as a small girl.

It was only later that night when the panic returned. Of course we had some pointless dinner where everyone pretended to laugh and have a wonderful time, ignoring the awkwardness the circulated around us all. I had changed into a pink gown for the dinner and I sat at Erik's right hand, spending my evening staring dejectedly at my peas as I stacked them on top of one another, much to my mother's displeasure.

My honeymoon was upon us, and although a "special" location was being decided on tomorrow, that night we would be staying in one of the nicest hotels in London. We rode to it in complete silence, not one word being spoken in the carriage. We both felt the looming figure that was a wedding night before us. A decision would have to be made now.

In the room I barley gave my new husband the decency of a glance. I, instead, stared at the white wall in front of me, trying to find something to count, or something that could actually just take up my attention.

"Has your mother spoken of the marriage bed to you?" he asked, still remaining several feet behind me. The way he acted around me…it was as if I was something unattainable and far off, which in a way I was. But the absurdity of his question caused me to turn and face him so quickly, the displaced blonde-white curls landed on my shoulder and bounced before settling into place.

"Of course." I kept my voice level, instead of letting it raise an octave as I longed to, though whether it be in nervousness or anger I did not know.

"Then you know what is expected of you." He spoke in a mater-of-fact tone, which somehow angered me. Just because he was my husband didn't mean I had to give that to him. Though with dread I realized that I knew it did.

"Yes. I'm not a fool," I spat, not able to look him in the eyes. The years of being bred to be a lady of high society caused a slight flush to come to my cheeks at the conversation, and I cursed it. The look he gave me sent chills down my spine and I was reminded of the first time I had let my mouth run earlier that week and he had told me the kind of treatment he wanted.

_The way a wife treats her husband is what I want and what I expect._

I had never let anyone really control my life, and I had done few things I hadn't wanted to. Of course I lost some battles, this marriage being one of them. I had agreed to it, of course, but just so the Crosses did not fall into ruin. It had landed on my shoulders ever since Jackie had left. Sometimes I longed that she had taken me with her, to America, where I suspected she had gone with the boy whose name escapes me. Still, her abandonment stung, and it hurt me to think that she could leave me behind so easily. But as I was saying, few things have been done against my will, but the look Erik gave me forced me to mumble, "Do forgive my cheeky words, dear husband." Though I am sure my tone betrayed that I did not want his forgiveness at all.

"I am simply trying to communicate to you that just because this marriage is arranged, I do want it to be a _true_ marriage." Then suddenly his cold exterior seemed to melt and he looked at me with what could only be desperation. His golden eyes bored into my blue ones, asking me to comprehend. And I did.

"I understand," I said, bowing my head somewhat in acceptance. I could see that he was coming forward now and I trained my eyes on the soft pink gown I had worn to the after-dinner. For once in my life, I felt modesty overbear my thoughts and movements. Not the false modesty I had so often put on, but the real kind: the one that made you blush and look away, and where you are unable to meet the eyes of the person in front of you; the one who was causing those absurd feelings.

He came forward and touched me then, and soon enough my stockings pooled at my ankles and his jacket was off. We were then somehow at the bed, and he hovered above me. The pearls that were fastened in my hair from the wedding began to come out with the gentle prodding of his fingers, and dropped onto the floor with almost soundless pattering.

Soon all of our clothes lay astray somewhere and I felt, for lack of a better word, exposed to him. I then felt the pain; a sharp shooting pain unlike anything I had ever experienced. I, at first, thought something was wrong, and couldn't help but word my worries to Erik. I had actually not realized I had said anything until he whispered that it was normal. Time passed, and it hurt less and less. But it was, of course, not how I imagined it. As this man was not James and nor would he ever be.

Two things through this process happened that sent chills down my spine. One was he never took off his mask, as I had expected him to and it caused me to wonder if I would ever see beneath it. The second was that right as if he was drifting off to sleep, my mind was too full for sleep, he whispered an unfamiliar name in ecstasy. The word "Christine" rolled out of his throat came out so softly with his breath that if it weren't for the absurd quietness in the room, I would have missed it. I fell asleep uneasily, wondering who the woman was the possessed my husband's heart.

--

**Genny's Note: I debated, and debated, and debated on what their wedding night was going to be like. I hope you guys agree with my decision in it, and I hoped you liked this chapter. I enjoyed writing it. But it is now four in the morning and I am tired. Good night and please review. (:**


	11. Honeymoon

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Eleven: Honeymoon  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_Our tragedy is a general and universal physical fear so long sustained by now that we can even bear it... the basest of all things is to be afraid of the unknown."_

--

_Erik_

I had never been able to sleep for longer than four hours at a time. That is how I found myself awake only two and a half hours later with no chance of slipping back into the peaceful unconsciousness my tortured mind so longed for. By now it was about three in the morning, and only glance at the window told me that the city of London was still sleeping.

A deep contented sigh broke the silence of the room, reminding me I wasn't alone. I looked over to see Audrey in a deep sleep on the other side of the bed. Even in slumber she seemed to shy away from me. She was lying opposite of me, giving me a view of the back of her head where her blonde curls, that almost looked white in the moonlight, streamed down her back and lay like a soft pile of silk on her pillow. Her back was bare; a pale sliver of flesh in the moonlight. Her spine was easily visible as she took in a deep sigh and released it, shifting so that her arm lay stretched out beside her. She was obviously a restless sleeper, for a moment later she turned over again, mumbling as she did so, and exposing a sallow breast to the open air.

Disgusted at myself, I stood softly from the bed as to not rouse her before covering her in full again. I then donned my robe and walked to the other side of the large room to the fireplace where only burnt ambers remained, and a bit of spark. I took the poker and began to tend to it, throwing in another log and kindling it until it was alight once again. Even when I was successful I turned my back to it, letting its warm aura lick my back until it became uncomfortable. But I needed anything—anything to keep my mind busy, but of course the subject was unable to be distracted by something as weak as desperateness.

I had overcome common and earthly lust countless times in my life; glad to have something that I could defy, seeing that words could still hurt me. As could the lingering glances I got when wearing the mask in public. But now I had given in to what almost every man did, which was the pure animalistic need for sex. I suppose it was better that I did not have to pay a nightly fee to some whore, but the fact remained: Audrey did not wish to be my wife and so taking from her what I did still held agonizing consequences; to my mind, at least.

I had gotten what I had wanted: a real, living, and breathing wife who was here, and not against her will. Although I had obviously not been her first choice as a husband, I made myself feel slightly better by thinking that if she had not married me she would have married some man very much too old for her who would only crush her spirit and simply have her as a pretty thing to lean on his arm and smile, because she _was _beautiful. Her pale hair, which was always tidy, looked stunning in that moment as it law sprawled around her like a feral tributary. Audrey's eyes were striking as well. Though blue like Christine's, her's seemed to hold a fire in them, and inquisitiveness when she knew I was putting up arms or not being truthful.

But quite frankly Audrey was not what I wanted.

I strode across the room to my trunk that had been brought up earlier by a servant, and opened it, digging through my few belongings before I finally found Christine's portrait.

I wished it had been her. I wished all of this: the engagement, the wedding, and the wedding night, especially the wedding night, had been her. Would she be a different lover than Audrey? Would her timid modesty make her even more desirable?

_There would also be a lack of Audrey's witty mockery, _I thought bitterly to myself. And although she could be sarcastic to the point where I could happily strangle her to death, I had to admit there was never a dull moment with her, which is why I had picked her in the first place. Somehow she had changed my quiet and self-pitying life to something…appealing. I was so used to being in that estate alone it would be interesting to see what bringing my new boisterous and energetic wife would do to it. I imagined it being somewhat like bringing a new puppy home.

I sighed in frustration with myself when I realized this had been the second time I had picked up Christine's picture and thought of Audrey. Perhaps I should take Nadir's advice.

"_Move on with your life! Thank Allah I am here to knock some sense into you!"_

It was so terribly hard though, but I found myself somewhat grateful for Audrey, and I looked at her fondly as I set the picture frame back into my trunk, tucking it beneath some of my clothes where I knew she would not find it.

And I realized at that moment, that despite everything, it was a good feeling to have someone that solely belonged to me. So, exhausted by my mind's notions and the constant long-winded thoughts, I crawled back into bed and remarkably slept until morning.

--

A desperate plea from Nadir to have lunch with him to discuss an important matter left me slightly flabbergasted, but quite ready to oblige. The entire morning had been seemingly awkward between Audrey and myself, and I was ready to leave for a few hours and perhaps discuss what was happening with Nadir. He had been married; he had to be of _some _sort of help.

Unfortunately Audrey had caught me fastening my cloak and she was immediately nosy.

"Where are we going?" she questioned as I turned my back to her, the more to ignore the pleading in her eyes I knew I would see a moment later.

"_I_ am going to have lunch with Nadir, as he has something to discuss with me," I said, putting emphasis on the singularity of the event, although she, of course, chose to ignore this matter.

"I cannot simply stay here alone," she answered, her voice full of shock.

"You can and you will."

I heard her huff out a deep breath and I knew, I absolutely _knew,_ that when I turned around her arms would be crossed and she would have that familiar look of intuition in her eyes as she glared up at me.

I was not disappointed.

"Aren't we supposed to be deciding where we will go on our honeymoon?"

"Do you even want to go on a honeymoon?" I retorted irritably, wanting to get her focus on something else rather than coming with me.

It worked. My statement made her face smooth over in thought, and her arms drooped to her sides; her stance immediately relaxed. "It is what is done," she said calmly, her voice questioning for once.

"Do you always do what is expected of you?" I challenged.

"No." Then a wicked glance flashed across her face. "You do not expect me to go with you," she said simply.

"You aren't going."

Ten minutes later found us in the carriage on our way to the specified location in Nadir's note. I was looking crossly out of the window, completely aggravated with the fact I had given in and let her come along. She had begged and pleaded and followed me through the house like an infuriating puppy until I agreed she could come. I was afraid what would have happened if I had left her alone with my belongings. I didn't look over at her, not wanting to be met with her victorious expression. But I did ask, "Perhaps we could go to Rome?" I had not been there in years, and I was anxious to return to sketch some of the architecture. Women thought of that as a romantic city, didn't they? Either that or Paris, which was completely out of the question. According to Madame Giry I was still being hunted, even with the reopening of the opera house.

"I thought we weren't going anywhere."

I looked at her in surprise. I had mostly said that to make a point and I wondered what her real intention was, if she really even wanted to go. When I stated so, she gave a light shrug.

"It matters not to me." She had then looked down at her lap, and I realized her lack of enthusiasm came with the…_activities_ that were done on a honeymoon rather than the location. The thought made me look away as well, thinking that perhaps last night had been a mistake.

On the other hand, we were married, and why should I not get to enjoy the marriageable behavior that other men did?

I sighed, knowing I was not going to find peace of mind about that certain subject so I let it drop from my mind. I decided to do whatever Audrey wanted, as it would be a relief to return home to the things that had become familiar to me in the past few years. All these unreleased emotions needed to e released somehow, and my organ seemed like a good choice.

"Whatever you want, my dear," I answered instead.

Audrey looked at me and then out the window, chewing on her lower lip in thought. She was probably torn. Knowing her, which I was starting to, she probably wanted to go somewhere beautiful and different, but not with me, seeing as what was expected on these sort of trips. The truth of it stung, and I had to look away to hide the fact on the unmasked side of my face. Why is it fair that I could never be wanted from a woman in that way? Would last night have been the only time I would be able to diverge in the release and bliss of the flesh? Of course, she was my wife and she was expected to do that sort of thing when I wanted, but I couldn't find it in myself to do that either.

Curses! What had I been thinking? This marriage was a mistake. I had had this silly idea in my mind that I could just chose a woman, marry her, and everything would just be fine and outstanding? We would become friends first, eventually fall in love, and have children, grow old together, and live a happy life? Is that really what I thought would happen? The more and more I went into this marriage the bigger of an oversight it seemed. I had been a fool to think that a union to another woman would result Christine being lost from my mind like a magic trick. I would just have to accept I would always love her, but that she was gone from me forever.

I did take comfort in the fact that she had chosen my marriage over that of some fellow named Mossberg, and she also hadn't turned away in disgust last night. I wanted to think there was hope after all, but I refused to let myself do so.

"I think I'd prefer to go back to your house—home—can we just go home?"

I had been so lost in thoughts her voice actually startled me. It took me a moment to remember what our conversation had been about, and then I remembered. She had ultimately decided not to go on a honeymoon which was a good alternative for me.

"Whatever pleases you," I said in order to make her think it was her idea.

"Well—what do you want to do?" I had not at first realized she had asked my opinion, and I did not respond. "Erik? What are you thinking about that has you so distracted?"

"Pardon? Oh, nothing." I tried to clear my head in order to answer her questions accurately.

She narrowed her eyes. She knew I was lying. "I simply asked what could possibly be occupying your mind so fiercely."

"Nothing, my dear. I suppose I didn't sleep well last night and exhaustion merely has my mind elsewhere."

I was surprised when Audrey blushed and looked away, making me comprehend that my words could have been taken in two senses. The dawning of this realization made me look out the window as well; both of us also fell into mutual silence.

"Erik," she paused, "What would you like to do?"

I hesitated, choosing my words carefully. "I shall leave it up to you. If you like…," I stopped for a moment, deciding on whether or not to be truthful. I was pretty sure she kind of woman who could take the confusing honesties of my mind. "If you would rather we could go later this year when we are…more comfortable with one another."

She turned from the window to face me, her delicate eyebrows cinched together in confusion, making me feel slightly self-conscious.

"What?" I demanded in a self-aggrandizing way.

"I just hadn't expected you to say that is all." She wrung her hands, looking down. "If you don't mind, I think that would be preferable."

I nodded, silently relieved as I looked out the window, trying to put the odd situation out of my mind.

The carriage came to a stop not long after; stopping in front of the restaurant Nadir had requested to meet at. I wondered if he was expecting Audrey to come with me.

I waited until our driver came and opened the door before emerging, feeling ill at ease at the fact I was out in such a public place in daylight. Although I hadn't been living underground since Paris over two years ago, I still hadn't gone out in a public place such as this. I usually avoided these situations at all costs.

I cleared my throat slightly, making my way towards the front once I had helped Audrey out of the carriage. I did not realize she was unhappy until she heaved a sigh.

I turned from my perch, halfway up the stairs needed to ascend to reach the dining area. A few feet behind me stood Audrey with a very unhappy look on her face.

"What is it?"

"It's just you could have offered me your arm," she said, all proprietary.

"Oh, I—" I couldn't think of anything to say and so I simply held my arm out to her, surprised when she actually slipped her hand through and we walked up the stairs together. Once we were there, I spoke to the man at the front, trying to avoid the odd look the man was giving me. I could tell Audrey noticed as well.

Luckily Nadir was already there and we did not have to wait for him. I watched silently as he kissed my wife's hand affectionately and they shared a small joke. It was obvious they got along well. I didn't know if that pleased or irritated me.

Once seated I looked at Nadir evenly, folding my hands atop the table.

"What is it you needed Nadir? It _is_ our honeymoon."

"But you said—"

I silenced Audrey with a glare, but Nadir did not miss the exchange.

"What is this?" he asked, looking at Audrey rather than me. He knew I would not tell the full truth, and of course my wife betrayed me.

"We have decided not to go on a honeymoon at this time," she said as a simple explanation as she assessed the menu in front of her.

"Oh and why not?" Nadir looked at me through the corners of his eyes, probably remembering the words I had told him less than a week ago; the same ones I had told Audrey last night: that I wanted this marriage to be a true one. He was probably curious about how the night before had gone, not that I would ever tell him.

"We want to wait until the weather isn't so bloody hot," she answered, taking a sip of water and not looking up, missing the surprised and thankful gaze I threw her. It made me wonder why she had lied for my benefit. Although with a sigh I realized it was with her as well.

"What is this all about?" I demanded a second time.

He smiled and leaned back. "Oh, I simply wanted to visit with my closest friend and his new lovely wife."

Audrey smiled, his words having their obvious affect on her.

I sighed. This was going to be a long lunch hour.

--

**Genny's Note: Yeah. It's been forever. College applications. Senior year. Job. Hanging with my brother. But I did get it done!**

**Also, I was speaking with my beta (who is also my real-life best friend) about the length of this chapter and how I wasn't happy with it. She merely pointed out to me that it's more the quality than the quantity that matters. Hopefully you agree. Please don't starve me from my reviews. (:**


	12. A New Home

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Twelve: A New Home  
By Genevieve Lee

--

Oh, how delightful this foreign man was! He was much more entertaining than my husband, who at that point was sitting angrily across from us without speaking.

"Erik, would you _please_ stop brooding?" Nadir asked as he eyed our companion warily.

When hearing these words, Erik looked away from the food at his plate and his eyes narrowed. He looked for the life of him he wanted to strangle his friend, and would have done so if we were not in public.

"I am _not_ brooding, Daroga."

Though his crossed arms and slouched figure told me otherwise. I ignored him.

"'Daroga,'" I repeated, "what is that?" I had heard Erik address him by that more than once, and it was obviously some sort of title, I just did not know what.

"Oh," he put his fork down in order to reply to me, "back in my home country, Persia, I was the chief of police. It is merely a formality that Erik grew used to while living there."

"You lived in Persia?" I asked, surprised, but then feeling a little foolish. What did I know about my husband, really? All I knew was his name and that he had a dreadful deformity that forced him to keep his face covered with a mask at all times, which would seemingly make his life difficult. Even now, he sat with his head turned towards the wall at a certain angle, as if exposing more of the left side of his face would make it less obvious.

"For several years!" Nadir said with a large smile, making the wrinkles around his eyes squish upwards. "Erik, tell her that you lived in Persia!"

My husband looked up then, giving a small closed mouth smile, of which I could barely see in accordance to the mask, before saying, "I used to live in Persia," with all the excitement of a cook watching water come to boil.

I narrowed my eyes at his unwillingness to cooperate before turning my attention to the enjoyable man beside me. I had always been interested in travel and others' traditions, and so the prospect of a new conversation with this man excited me.

"Do you miss Persia?" I asked.

"Sometimes," he replied. "I mostly miss the things I used to have there. My wife and my son, Allah rest their souls. But I grew tired of the customs that were practiced there, and so I followed Erik a few years after he left. I do find Paris agreeable, but I would sometimes like to travel elsewhere. I just do seem to have the means to do so."

Erik seemed suddenly interested on the intricate gold designs around the rim of the plates we were using, and an awkward silence settled over the table, though I could not imagine why.

"I am sorry for your loss," I said finally, hoping to fill it.

To my relief, Mr. Khan took the bait and gave a small smile. "Thank you, but do not worry yourself over it. It was a long time ago."

Though I could see in his eyes it still pained him, I smiled and looked back down at my food, picking up the proper fork in which to eat my salad, and dug in. I wished there were more comforting words I could offer him, but like a proper lady, I would not dwell on such an unhappy subject. I would give him my sympathies and then move on.

"You cannot change the past Audrey or help people's misfortunes," my mother sniffed while we were having tea one day.

"Yes Mother," I had replied.

I had heard it so much as I grew up, I almost believed it. But it was a too absurd thing to take to heart; instead it was something you agreed to just to keep the waters still. Because that is what people needed.

We only spoke of happy and cheerful things, and when things went wrong, we pretended not to notice. The truth is far too bright for some people to face, and for those who can, they are afraid to do so in case they start some sort of uproar.

I was afraid then, and found that it was still so at that moment. So I looked away and spoke of something else.

The conversation continued stiffly after that; Mr. Khan and I exchanging a few words about the weather, and then a slight awkward conversation that Erik and I would not be honeymooning. The two men had briefly caught one another's eye and something transpired between them and I swore that in that one look Erik told him the true reason we would be returning immediately home and it embarrassed me. What sort of wife did not wish to go to an exotic place and spend time with her new husband?

I realized then I may have underestimated Nadir's and my husband's relationship.

But the rest of the meal passed swiftly, and soon we were saying our goodbyes. The rest of the day passed similarly. Erik and I packed our belongings and set off for his home, which turned out to be about an hour's carriage ride from London, out in some open country. I brooded slightly over this, wondering how often I would see my friends and family again. The house was large and towering, made of dark brick and matching shutters. It had a tall, imposing door, and it suited Erik perfectly. The inside was grand as well, though I barley saw it. Erik then left me to unpack.

I became bored rather quickly. I had unpacked, arranging my belongings until they were to my liking. I placed my books on a bookshelf I had located in the corner, put a few of my pictures on the dresser, put all my precious jewels carefully away, and hung up the few pieces of clothing I had brought with me. I did not have much left, as I had given most to my younger sister who was almost the same size as I was. Although I now did not have to worry about money, my family was still slightly in the outs, having used Mister Destler's money to pay the debts we owed, we were debt-free but still had to work from the ground up to reestablish what we had before, and I wanted my sister to still have the things she had before. I was sure I could get my new husband to take me shopping, or even give me money.

I had kept my favorite items, such as a ruby colored dress I had worn only once, and it had brought me immense luck. I was keeping it in case I needed that luck again. And besides, the color looked divine on me. I also had brought a few shirtwaists, skirts, and blouses. Mostly daytime things, as it had been almost time to update my evening wardrobe anyways. I could not wait to return to my dressmaker and get beautiful new gowns of silk made just for me. Perhaps a ball would be coming up soon that I could purchase one for.

Although it was almost ten o'clock, I was not the least bit tired, surprising as I had gotten little sleep the night before, and I found myself wide awake. It could be to all the strange thoughts I had floating in my head. One thing was for sure: being married to Erik left a lot of room for answers. I did not understand him the least bit, and I was quite positive he did not understand me. It seemed these past few days we were merely shuffling around each other, only encountering one another when necessary, and even then it was only brisk greetings and awkward questions.

He did not monitor my comings and goings like a normal husband did, and I found it quite curious. It was also strange that although we had consummated the marriage, we now did not share a bedroom. What would my mother think? Was this how typical marriages went about? I was not sure, because such things were not spoken of so boldly, but I had a feeling we were quite different.

When married, a woman usually ended up impregnated within the first year, and as I had understood it, from bits of conversation I had eavesdropped from married friends, it rarely happened with simply one time. But did they not share a bedroom for this kind of thing? Erik was very clear on the fact he wanted us in separate rooms, as he had made clear upon the first moment I stepped into the house—our home.

"Well then, your room is upstairs in the North wing."

"My room?" I had asked confused, but held my tongue from saying, "Aren't we going to share a room?" Because I had much rather have my own room.

"Yes, well," he had said uncomfortably, clasping his hands in front of him like a small child. "I find my sleeping habits are rather abnormal, as I stay up very late and sometimes do not sleep at all. It would best if we slept separately."

I had only nodded, and did not argue. It sounded fair to me, though I wondered if he had been telling the truth. Though he was quite firm with what he had wanted to go on during our wedding night, he was usually reserved and awkward, and if not that, stubborn and unapproachable. I wondered if he would ever be anything but.

I did not know the answers to this, and so I sighed, rising from my bed of pink silk before tripping slowly from my room, wanting to explore this foreign place I would now call home.

--

I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders, adjusting my hair so that it was not stuck in-between my dress and the shawl. The curls bounced off my back and bounced back into place a moment later. The moonlight bathed the foyer in shadows, hiding different parts of the room in gloom, making it so someone could easily be hiding within them. It made chills shiver down my spine and left an eerie feeling within me.

"I'm going for a walk," I shouted in the direction of my husband's study. I did not receive a reply, nor did I expect one. He had been cooped up in there for hours, not emerging for bathroom breaks or even meals. I had nearly lost my head when I had come in to offer him something to eat. I rolled my eyes at the memory as I walked to the door. "Goodbye!"

_He can't say I never tried to tell him, _I thought as I shut the door firmly behind me, entering the brisk night air.

I felt I needed to clear my head, and walks were my favorite thing to help with this. Back at home I could often be found wandering the winding paths of our gardens or even at the stables with the horses, which was often a great comfort to me, though I of course never associated with the stable hands. A girl would never be that desperate for company.

As a child, I had never been able to run around our yard and play like if I were a boy or if I had a brother. My parents, my mother in particular, always said it wasn't right for a young lady to run around like a banshee, especially in the place the neighbors may see.

"It's improper," my mother sniffed, when I asked if I could go outside for just a few minutes.

"But Millie gets to go outside!" I had argued defiantly with my seven-year-old stubbornness.

"Millie and is the maid's daughter, and is not held up to the same standards as you are. The answer is no, young lady."

But to me then, and even admittedly now, no is not the end when I want something else. There were always other ways to get what I wanted. In this case, I outlined in my mind possible solutions. I could always sneak away from my governess and go outside and play anyways, but I did not know if the punishment I would undoubtedly receive upon being discovered. That was why the only solution I had left was to run away.

I had told my governess I wanted to take a short nap, and so once upon being alone in my room, I had packed a few of the things I wanted to keep into my silk pillowcase and had put on my most comfortable shoes.

I did not think of any possible failure, after all, failure was not a big part of my life. What I wanted, I usually received. So I focused on my wild ambition to leave and run like the fugitives I had heard my father and his friends speak about in his study. I could run and leave everything behind, become whoever I wanted, and be someone who would never be confined into closed spaces again. I could go outside whenever I pleased.

My parents had found me half a mile down the road twenty minutes later, a very determined pout on my face. My parents had murmured and pat my head and said I would never do it again, that I hadn't meant it, and that I needed to be a good girl and stay home.

I had believed them, grown up from there, and turned into the kind of girl who was too worried about balls and parties and teas and boys to ever remember my earliest ambition in life was to be free. One thing that did not leave from me, however, was that the outdoors always left me feeling rejuvenated and calm.

Even now, as my hands grazed across the metal bars that outlined Erik's property, calmness restored itself within me.

I gripped the bars, they were cold from absorbing the chilly air outside, and they chilled me as well. They seemed almost like prison bars, and it made me feel as if my home was a refuge from the rest of the world—that nothing could hurt me here. But at what cost? Would I have friends? Would I ever see anyone again? A week had passed and it seemed almost as if Erik never wanted me to leave, nor did he show any desire to. All he cared about was locking himself in his bloody music room and never emerging. He must eat and bathe when I was sleeping, because I had never seen him leave.

All he did was drown himself in his music and books. Was I supposed to drown with him?

My mind went back to the time when I had run away, however brief it may have been. If I had somehow gotten away that day, would my family have cared? Would they have searched endlessly for me? Maybe. They still had Jacqueline and Rachel, and if I was gone, would it be that big of a loss?

I was thinking the same thing now as I walked along the pathways. What would happen to Erik if I left? Would he even notice within the same week? At this rate, I was not so sure. And when he did finally realize I was gone, found the note I would leave him, would he even care? Would he shrug and toss the note into the fire, find another girl whose parents were needing money and would be willing to sell their daughter into a marriage she didn't want? I doubted my parents were the only ones out there willing to do so.

A toad sat on the other side of the fence, blinking up at me, seeming to absorb the night air. It was probably a wonderful difference from the bitter, humid weather that had dominated the afternoon earlier that day. He seemed to calm and happy to be sitting there, not worrying about whether or not someone was standing behind him, waiting to stop him from doing what he wanted. He did not worry about his comings and goings and answering to anyone.

"I envy you," I growled, bending down to his level and gripping the bars even harder. He croaked in reply. "You get to leave whenever you want, don't you?" Another croak. "Yes, well some of us aren't that lucky,"

Suddenly light shot from the direction of the house, creating a triangle of it upon the lawn. I glanced over, seeing Erik's shadow fill the doorway.

"Audrey?" he yelled, sounding slightly panicked. "Audrey!"

"I'm coming!" I replied with a sigh. When I turned back to say farewell to the toad he was gone.

--

**Genny's Note: This is purely awful, and I shudder as I reread this. Still, I will post it because that is what I promised. Summer is coming soon, so hopefully with that, more time to focus on writing. AP Lit is over after this week too, which will give me much more time. Sorry I'm such a horrid author(:**


	13. Intoxication

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Thirteen: Intoxication  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity."  
-Author Unknown

--

_Audrey_

A week passed peacefully enough. Erik had it in his mind that the night I went for the walk I had been trying to escape. I had tried to assure him that if I had indeed been attempting to run away, I would have planned it with more detail. I would have taken a bag, and have a hired carriage take me away. I simply would not slink into the night with no belongings, and while he was still awake, no less.

He regarded me warily after that, annoyingly never left me alone, acting as if the moment I was, I would throw the door open and run into the night.

"Right," I said aloud to myself, settling on my divan. The only time I had any privacy was in my room at night. I had taken to going to bed early, just to be away from his suspicious and lingering stares. I had married him to keep my family's head above water, and if I were to ever back out; it would not be this soon.

Though quite honestly it wasn't all too horrible. I had my own room, and he was quite…civil to me. I had heard too many horror stories of women being beat by cruel husbands, and he had yet to lay a hand on me. God knows I've made him angry enough. I suppose I was luckier than most, but for me, that was not good enough. I never enjoyed being like _most girls_. I was my own person, wanting nothing but to be on the outside of everyone's expectations for me, and so because that was obviously not going to happen, I decided to drown my troubles in other ways.

I had stolen a bottle of wine from the kitchen to enjoy alone that night. Well I suppose _stolen_ was not the appropriate word since it was my house as well, although that was something that was taking a little getting used to. One strange thing is we had no maids, no butlers, save for one. She was a kind young woman, only a little older than me with blonde hair and clear gray eyes. She spoke very little but seemed quite pretty. I often wondered how she had gotten to work for my senile husband, and I also was curious to how she had obtained the many burn scars that covered her arms, and her legs, of which I could see when she moved just right and her skirts flapped up to reveal them.

I never questioned her though. I knew it would be rude to directly do so, and in result, I kept my mouth shut.

I did not want to risk asking her for something stronger than wine, for fear of telling Erik, and I didn't want to take some of Erik's for fear he would notice it missing. That is why I settled on wine, which I tiptoed downstairs to retrieve after I was sure Erik thought I was sleeping. I had no idea when _he_ slept, and I did not want to wait around until then.

Once I had snuck back upstairs with my treasure, I shut my door, changed into my nightgown, and dimmed my lights so that there was nothing to betray that I was still awake.

I hadn't had a lot of alcohol in my life. Only stolen sips from my parents champagne glasses or snuck sherry or port with my friends when we were away at school.

Well, I suppose I had thought they were my friends, but ever since I had left the school and married all my letters and invitations to call had been rejected and unanswered. It was a dreary thing, but not a terrible tragedy. I kept in very close contact with my younger sister though, and filled the long and empty days with writing several pages of letters to her. It depressed me greatly to receive her letters and to hear all about the balls and parties that were taking place in my absence. Apparently the Spanish woman whom I had met at my engagement ball was the light of society. Everyone loved her, and it made me fume. Though I suppose it did not matter much since it seemed I would not be seeing that part of my old life for a while.

But now, to obscure out my bleak life, I poured a glass of the red substance into a water glass that had already been in my room. The first drink made me scrunch up my face and swallow quickly. The bitter taste of grapes remained on my tongue and I smacked me lips for a moment, quite liking the after taste. I knew it would be an acquired thing, and so I turned the glass bottom-side up and down it in one drink. If I had thought it burned before, it was nothing compared to what happened after that. I actually coughed, trying to muffle the sound in my arm, lest Erik come to check on me, something of which I doubted. We avoided all contact that was not necessary like animal droppings on the sidewalk.

After that first glass, I took to taking small sips and found it was easy to drink that way. Soon almost half the bottle was gone, and then more, and finally I had downed the last drop. A warmth had spread in my stomach and I felt woozy and delighted. I looked around my room as if seeing it for the first time. Where was I? Why were all my things in there?

It came back to me a moment later.

"Oh yes! I'm married!" I said to myself, giggling into my palm girlishly. I thought of Erik then and smiled. I should go say good night to him and see what he was up to! He was always in that dammed room of his working on his music, and I think it was finally time for him to share what it was with me. I was his wife, after all!

I put on my dressing robe, buttoning the buttons crocked but leaving my room anyways. I stumbled down the stairs, making quite a bit of noise, but no one came to check on me. I was relieved and continued onwards. Soon enough I was in front of the door, and sure enough, music was floating from it. I stopped to listen for a moment, letting in incase me in its beautiful sound. I had never heard anything like it before! I wanted to hear more.

My hand clumsily grabbed for the doorknob, turned it, and then my body stumbled in after it. I leaned against it to straighten myself and the music abruptly stopped.

"Audrey?" my husband, I giggled again thinking of the title, said, and turned on the bench to face me. "What are you doing?"

"No!" I implored. "Don't stop playing!" The last word slurred a little bit and I smiled foolishly.

He studied for a moment, not saying anything. It must have been quite obvious what had happened, because a beat later he demanded, "Have you been drinking?"

"No!" I said, shaking my head spastically. Then I thought for a moment. Had I been drinking? At that moment a belch decided to come out, and as it did I could smell the acidic scent that came with it. I felt confused for a moment, and then I remembered. I had stolen a bottle of wine! "Yes," I answered again, "I suppose I have."

He stood now, his arms outstretched as if to catch a fainting woman. I must have looked unsteady. "You told me you were going to bed."

"Oh," I waved my hand dismissively, "pish-posh! I've just been saying that lately do you'd leave me the hell alone!" I gasped, covering my mouth with my hands. "I guess I shouldn't have told you that." I suddenly found the entire situation humorous and I laughed exuberantly. "It's just you thought I was trying to leave but I was really just outside talking to the toad!"

"The toad?"

"Yes! I was angry because he could come and leave whenever he wanted and I had to stay here! I told him so too! I must have offended him because he left. I wouldn't try to leave, Erik!" I cocked my head thoughtfully. "At least, not so soon after we've been married."

He looked disturbed at what I had said, hurt even, but even though I thought I should stop myself from talking, I found I could not.

"Come on, Audrey. Let's get you upstairs to bed."

I backed away from him as he tried to reach for me, and the moment I shrunk away, his hand fell back to his side. His eyes displayed an emotion I could not read and I found myself saddened by this. It also led me to look at his face more closely, seeing the mask, and for the first time, being outwardly enraged by it. Why did he have to wear it around me? I was his wife, for Heaven's sake! Should man and wife have any secrets? I did not think thus, and I told him so, angered by it.

Never in my life had I seen someone go from irritated to defensive in such a short span of time. The mood of the room changed so rapidly, I felt it even in my drunken stupor.

"I have already told you," he snarled, "You will never see it."

"Why?" I demanded stubbornly. "Why, Erik? I am your wife."

He gave a bitter laugh that if I had been in my right mind would have frightened me. "It's merely a formality, my dear. No use pretending you care about me."

I wanted to counter what he said, to show him he was wrong, but what he had said was true, and I did not deny it. But it did infuriate me that he still would not show me. I decided at that moment to take matters into my own hands.

"Oh, give it here! It cannot be that ghastly!" My hand shot forward quickly, attempting to dislodge it from its perch.

But Erik was faster.

His skeletal hands shot out, grabbing my wrists and wrenching them to my sides. Pain shot through my wrists, for despite the boniness of his hands he was very strong.

It was as if a glass if cold water had been poured over my head. I sobered up immediately and attempted to free myself, but it was of no use.

"_Never,_"he hissed in my face, "touch my mask or you will face grave consequences. Being face to face with my death head being only one of them. Do you understand?"

I nodded furiously, closing my eyes against the sudden tears that threatened. I twisted my head away from him, looking anywhere but into his enraged eyes that held such hurt and anger hurt me to look at them.

My gesture was not enough though, and he shook me briefly. "I want to hear you say it!" he yelled.

"I understand! Erik, let go of me!"

Before I had even finished speaking, he had released me, and the skin burned where his hands had been. I stumbled backwards, immediately wanting distance between us.

"You had better go," he said piteously, turning away from me with pain etched in every movement and every look he gave me.

I didn't argue, didn't hesitate before I flew from the room, stumbling up the stairs and tripping over the edges of my nightgown before I finally made it to my room. I slammed the door shut; wishing for the first time there was a lock on it. I collapsed onto my bed, burst into tears, and buried my head in my pillow.

I was a terrible person. I had ruined any sort of bond we had begun to share, however diminutive it had been.

I cried myself to sleep.

--

I woke the next morning with only one thought: a furry creature must have slept on my tongue during the night by the way it felt.

I could not yet muster the strength to move, and a smacked my lips for a moment, attempting to wet them, for they were unbearably dry. My head pounded and my eyes seemed glazed over. I closed them again, sighing, before trying to sit up. The movement was a mistake, and I immediately collapsed back into the pillows.

"Here, drink this."

The voice shocked me, and I sat up, startled, and regretted the movement as I did it. My head felt like it was spinning, and I closed my eyes to rid myself of the motion, scooting back to lean against my headboard. After a moment, I opened my eyes and saw Erik sitting beside my bed, holding out a glass of water. I took it and chugged it greedily, feeling its coolness slip down my throat and splash into my stomach. It was perhaps one of the most heavenly things I had ever felt.

"Thank you," I said, handing back the empty glass to him.

"How do you feel?"

"Terrible," I answered a beat later.

He nodded, as I had merely confirmed what he had expected. "That is usually what happens after a long night of drinking. Do you feel sick anymore? Do you need the chamber pot again?"

"Again?" I questioned, completely confused.

"You were sick in it over half the night," he responded matter-of-factly.

I felt my cheeks warm. Of course I had been vomiting all night into it! What else would I expect? "Did you stay up with me?" I asked upon impulse, wondering if I had spent the night alone after all. After what I had done, it was little more than I deserved.

He nodded, and I felt some foreign emotion spread through me. Even after what I had done he had still stayed up all night with me.

"Thank you," I said cautiously.

He shrugged, standing up, and I felt, not for the first time, that he tended to leave when things got personal. When it was no longer about the facts, it was time to move onto other things. "You were sick. You needed help." He paused then, eyeing me curiously. "Do you remember anything from last night?"

I had one moment's hesitation. Since I had honestly not remembered anything past practically passing out on my bed, it would not be a stretch that I had not remembered what had occurred previously either. "No," I answered. "I don't. What happened?"

I saw him hesitate as well. "Nothing of importance," he finally said with a sigh. "Now I have Nadir coming to call today, and if you are feeling better later this afternoon perhaps you can come down and say hello."

"What do I do until then?" I asked, unhappy at the prospect of lying in bed all day.

"I'm afraid there is nothing you can do but lay in bed and keep yourself hydrated." He gestured with his long fingers to a pitched of water on my night table, the same fingers that had been wrapped firmly around my wrists the night before.

I nodded, and when there was nothing else to say, he left me alone. Once I was sure he was downstairs, I could hear the muted voices of him and Nadir, I took my wrists out from beneath my covers and inspected them. There were no bruises like I would have assumed, but they were still tender. I suppose he had not gripped as tightly as I feared, not that I hadn't merited it.

I sighed, looking at the door sadly. He had been willing to forget the whole night to save me from embarrassment and I felt completely and utterly awful. And now that he thought I did not remember it, there was no way to apologize with the way I had acted towards him.

His deformity had, no doubt, caused a terrible life for him, and here I was, making it worse when he had been nothing but pleasant to me. Yes, he had his mood swings and terrible anger, and mysterious ways, and well…many other things, but he was never horrible towards me.

Not only had he allowed what had happened the night before to pass, he also had taken care of me all night. I felt concerned for in a way I had not since I had pneumonia when I was ten. It seemed the only time I ever got attention was when I was ill or in trouble Perhaps that was why I had acted out so much as I was growing up.

I listened quietly to the sounds of my husband and his friend downstairs, pleased to hear the laughter that trickled upstairs. I also momentarily became shocked when I realized I was thinking of someone else besides myself for once…

--

**Genny's Note: I have no idea why I was suddenly inspired to do this, but here it is. I wanted to make it longer, but I have school tomorrow and am very busy the next two days and won't be able to finish it. I was impatient and wanted you guys to have it now. So here you are(: I hope you enjoyed it and thank you all for your kind reviews on the previous chapter! I have not had time to reply personally to them, but I will this time. So please make my day and review!**


	14. A Gift

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Fourteen: A Gift  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_Feeling__ and longing are the motive forces behind all human endeavor and human creations.__"  
-Albert Einstein_

--

_Erik._

My heart clenched painfully at the sight.

Audrey sat at the window in the library; a book lay open and forgotten on her lap. She instead seemed more interested at the somber gray sky that seemed determined to hang around as it had done the past week. It seemed to match her mood of the past few days as well.

Ever since she had tried removing my mask, she had been nothing but melancholy and quiet, agreeing with seemingly anything I wanted to do. Although I had been angry at her trying to remove my mask, I could not stay that way. Had not Christine attempted the same thing? Not only that, Christine had succeeded. Audrey had not, nor did she remember it. She was drunk, which was also painful. Was this life so horrible that she had to result to intoxication to make it better?

The way she had been acting was very unlike her, and it had me worried. I had even wanted to call a doctor to our home and make sure everything was well. Nadir had convinced me otherwise and made what seemed a more appropriate diagnostic.

"She's bored, Erik!" he exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing.

"Whatever do you mean?" I asked, quiet offended of his assumption.

"Think of it," he had replied sensibly, "she used to have a life where she was always on the go, at balls and teas, and always the center of attention. She was constantly surrounded by suitors, friends, and family. But now she comes here, and she is simply inside all day with nothing but you for company!" Noticing my glare, my friend attempted to backtrack a little bit. "What I mean is you cannot compare the companionship of dozens of people she's known her whole life to one of someone she barley knows, and locks himself up with his music all the time."

"That is not _all_ I do," I had argued.

Nadir had snorted in return.

I had taken the last few days to think about it, and had finally decided what he said must be true. It had caused me immense guilt. Was it possible that I had only married her because I needed company, and not because I had said I was helping her in return? Was it merely a way to brush down the ruffled feathers of my conscience, something I had thought I had lost long ago, but seemed content to pop back up at random times? Was I fool to ever think we could make one another happy, even if it was only friendship? Maybe it would be best if I simply let her go, like an injured butterfly who was now healed. But I found that, selfishly, I could not. It hurt to think of the empty days I would spend alone again if I were to do that, and so letting her go was not an option.

But I found I wanted to do something for her. Something that would make her smile and happy again, and make her forget how unhappy she was with me.

"Audrey?" I asked in attempt to gain her attention.

Her head snapped around, for apparently I had startled her. She said nothing though, and her dull eyes focused on me questioningly.

"I am going out for a bit to run some errands. Will you be alright alone?"

She immediately straightened, adjusting herself as she looked at me with interest. "May I come?" she asked childishly.

I wanted to say yes, but in order for the surprise to be that, she would have to remain here. "I'm afraid not, my dear. But I won't be long."

She slumped back down, nodded and looked away again. Sensing there was nothing else I could say, I simply nodded, and left, donning my fedora and cloak in the process. I gave my driver the address to the place I needed to get to and then relaxed into the seats, feeling a slight sense of déjà-vu as the carriage began moving.

When I arrived over an hour later, Audrey's parents were nothing short of shocked to see me on their doorstep in the late morning. I was quickly ushered into the drawing room and offered tea and biscuits promptly, both of which I rejected.

"Is there something wrong with Audrey?" her father demanded as soon as he walked into the room.

"No, she's fine," I assured them, and then cleared my throat awkwardly. "I was just wondering if I could bring her sister over to visit her. She's a little depressed."

Awesome silence followed my request and I fidgeted uncomfortably, waiting for their response. I believed they were still afraid to not do as I wanted, least I take the entire deal back, as if that was possible. They exchanged glances and finally her father nodded.

"I don't see why not. I know Rachel misses her as well, and she has nothing to do. If you would allow her a few minutes to ready herself?"

"Of course," I said with profound relief. Her mother then left to ready her daughter, and Audrey's father and I exchanged stiff words about politics and business until the younger Miss Cross was ready. She came into the drawing room and greeted me cordially, a big grin on her face. She was obviously excited to see her sister and was well turned out in a gown that looked brand new. It was a light yellow that brought out the slight honey colors in her hair. Although Audrey and Rachel had different eye and hair color, their features were very similar and it was easy to see they were sisters.

"Thank you for taking me to visit Audrey!" she exclaimed quite suddenly. "Does she know I'm coming?"

I gave a small smile. "No, she does not. I figured it would be a good surprise. I would also like you to help me pick out a gift for her as well, if you are okay with that mademoiselle?"

Her eyes glistened excitedly. "Of course!"

We both then left, and I sighed, ready for an afternoon of awkward talk and even more awkward moments.

--

Though Audrey and I had barley been wed a month, I had learned many things about her. My life alone has given me one strength, and that was the ability to read people and see the person inside. Although a more difficult case, Audrey had given me some insight to who she was. She was spoiled and arrogant, stubborn and willful. But she could also be kind and courteous, if it suited her. She could sometimes be outright unkind if it helped her gain what she wanted, or if the opposite helped, she would be pleasant. But most of the time she was simply downright pigheaded.

That afternoon with her sister, assuming they would be somewhat alike, I found how profoundly different they really were.

Audrey was a realist; while it was obvious Rachel lived in fantasies. Without having to say so, I could tell she thought mine and her sister's relationship was romantic, and the fact I was just trying to surprise her with a visit from her sister and a gift made her think I cared dearly for her sister. It was mostly out of guilt I was doing this, but I did not correct her.

While Audrey knew, most of the time, when it was right to speak and when to insert her little sarcastic remarks, her sister simply kept talking without prompting. It took very little to keep her going, even just a nod of the head would be sufficient. On the other side of the spectrum, she was very difficult to keep up with. I honestly thought my mind would explode when I asked on her advice on what to get Audrey. She went through countless things: jewels, furs, dresses, hats, gloves…but none of these suited my purpose. She _had_ all these things. I wanted to get her something she had been unable to have before. When I interrupted Rachel, because quite honestly, I could not wait until she was finished for fear the entire afternoon would be used up, she fell thoughtfully silent for the first time in the hour.

"Well she loves animals," she mused.

"Oh?" I asked, latching onto the one hopeful advice she had given me.

"Yes," she said becoming excited again. "She always was wanting to horseback ride with the men when she was a child, but Mama would never let her. Jackie would take her though, and sometimes I was able to tag along."

I pursed my lips as she got off track, and I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Finally she seemed to be getting back to the point.

"She's always liked cats, but we could never have one because Mama is horribly allergic!"

"A cat?" I questioned, being able to see it immediately. Cats were vain and fiercely independent, much like Audrey. "Should we get her a kitten?"

I didn't mind cats, I might actually like them. They were quiet, knew how to use a sandbox, and they did not slobber everywhere. A cat in the house may make it more like a home, a quality we were definitely lacking.

Rachel seemed just as enthused, because she clapped her hands together and exclaimed, "Oh yes! She would simply love you forever."

I almost snorted, for I knew it would take a lot more than a cat to get Audrey, or anyone, to love me. But I knew her intent, and so with it decided, I instructed my driver to take us to one of the high-end pet shops in London.

We were there rather quickly, and the young lady and I were soon inside looking at all the different cats. Ignoring the man's questioning stares, I had considered sending Rachel in alone, but had decided against it, her parents probably would not take too kindly to the idea, we walked around the store while he named all the different breeds. Persian, British shorthair, LaPerm, Cornish Rex (I winced at that one), Scottish Fold…

But none of them pleased me. Rachel was cooing all over them, and soon I was on the journey alone. I was about to leave when a litter of kittens caught my eye. They were in the glass cases as the rest of them, but unlike the others, they were in the corner with a towel hastily thrown over them. I could only see them through one side.

Interrupting the man midsentence, I pointed to them and said, "What are those ones?"

He looked over and waved at them dismissively. "They are merely mixed-breeds from someone who left them on our doorstep last night. They will be given away." He immediately began moving onto others, but I stopped him.

"Let me see them," I commanded.

He looked at me strangely, before shrugging and leading me over, a curious Rachel following. Pulling the towel off, he gestured for me to look and I did. They were scraggly creatures, ones that obviously would have died if they had not been taken in. They looked to be about nine weeks and were all sorts of colors and fur lengths. I picked one up at random and held her up for inspection. She was a cream color with large blue eyes. She didn't cower in my hand, but seemed contented in it.

I turned and showed her to Rachel and asked, "What do you think?"

Rachel giggled. "She and Audrey will match!"

I looked back at the kitten, which was now curled up in my palm, at ease for a nap. "How much?"

The man, baffled, named a price that was almost as much as the pure bred ones. I narrowed my eyes.

"But you said would be giving them away," I countered.

Caught in his own trap, the man agreed he had said so, and said I could just take it.

Contented with my choice, I agreed but bought the rest of the supplied we would need. A box for its sandbox, a small porcelain dish, and a beautiful collar that had rubies in it, since Rachel said Audrey's favorite color was red, and a small bed.

We left a few minutes later, Rachel holding the kitten gently who was still sleeping and me carrying the supplies, as I had waved off having it delivered to my home. It was easier just to take it all now.

Thanks to the kitten Rachel sat quietly the entire way home, stroking the kitten and playing with it once it had awoken, leaving me to look out the window and be left alone in my mind.

--

Back at the house we walked silently up, but not before I had secured the cat on my person. I selfishly wanted to get all the credit for the kitten, and had told Rachel I would give it to her that night. It was now mid-afternoon, and Rachel's driver would be here to get her after dinner. I could give it to her then. I was positive I could keep the little beast contained until that time.

We walked into a quiet house, of which did not surprise me. It was not as if Audrey was a puppy who would greet meet every time I walked into the door.

"I'll go get her," I said as I walked up the stairs, leaving Rachel in the foyer.

I found Audrey in the library, in the same chair, and in the same clothes. I wondered if she had moved at all. "Audrey." I waited until she looked at me to continue. "You have a visitor."

Her face erupted into panic at once. "I cannot see anyone like this! Erik, why did you let them in?"

I became instantly annoyed, and I suppose it was obvious, for she fell into silence right away. But not for long.

"Well who is it?" she demanded.

"If you are able to silence your vanity for a moment I would have an easier time telling you."

Her eyes narrowed, but she crossed her arms and made a gesture for me to continue.

"I have brought your sister here to visit with you, if you care to do so. If you want time to bathe and dress, I will simply tell her to wait in the—"

My words had their desired effect. I knew she would not care what she looked like around her sister and she stood up immediately. "Well why didn't you say so? Rachel? Rachel!"

"Audrey!"

She ran from the room, and noisily ran down the stairs, and after a moment I heard them squealing and yelling, and I sighed, retiring to my study to allow them time alone.

Once locked inside, I took the kitten from my cloak pocket after gently disentangling her claws from the soft material and let her down on the floor. She blinked her impossibly big eyes at the new bright light and sat there confused for a moment. It did not take her long to adjust, and she soon found something in my study to play with. I was not too thrilled at her choice of a toy, as it was a very expensive ink quill, and so I discouraged her from it by tossing a piece of crumbled parchment at her. This immediately distracted her and she was off tumbling and rolling with it.

I blew a deep breath from my lips, collapsing in my chair and removing my mask as to give my face some air. I felt quite tired after my day, for I was still unused to being around people. I was beginning to grow used to Audrey, but her parents and sister were a different matter entirely. How I wished to be born with a normal face like any other man! But I had stopped harboring those fantasies when I was a boy, and I would not start now.

And although married to Audrey and trying to make the best of it, I still was unable to stop thinking of Christine. Though the past few weeks I had noticed I was looking at her picture less, thinking of her less as well. I felt like I was forgetting her, and it scared me. So now, I took out my frame that held her picture, stroking the grainy photo with my thumb, wishing very much that I could see her again, just to see if she was happy. But I knew it would be disaster to do so. Even if she did not see me, I knew I would never be able to bring myself to leave her a second time.

No, it was best if I stayed away.

I set the picture in my lap, and rubbed my face, before running my hands through my sparse hair. Suddenly, the kitten sprang itself on my lap and sat on the frame, rubbing against my arm and demanding my attention.

"Perhaps you're right," I said, obliging her and rubbing behind her ears. "She's married with a child now, and probably very happy. It's time to let her go."

The kitten purred in reply, and I put the picture frame in my bottom drawer.

**--**

**Genny's Note: I have the next few chapters outlined, so yay for that(:**

**Review? And any ideas on what to name the kitten? Because I have none!  
**


	15. An Epiphany

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Fifteen: An Epiphany  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_I think I like that you seem sincere  
I think I'd like to get  
To know you a little bit more  
I think there's something more  
Life's worth living for  
Who knows what could happen?_

_-Avril Lavigne, "Who Knows?"_

--

I crushed the shorter woman to my chest, stroking her soft hair with my fingers. "I am going to miss you terribly," I admitted. "Tell Mama and Father I said hello, and do come visit soon!"

Rachel nodded, pulling away and wiping her tears with her fingers. "I shall." She then gazed at me thoughtfully, taking my hands in her own. "I do believe you can be happy here Audrey. You just need to give it a chance. You need to let go what cannot be and begin to see what you have in life, which may not be such a terrible thing after all."

I remained quiet for a moment, mulling what she had said over. Rachel—darling Rachel—was always living in romantic fantasies. She dreamed of being swept away by true love, believing that it had happened with Jacqueline, and also believing it had happened with me but I was too dense to see it. I knew I was not in love with Erik, and although I had once dreamed of marrying for love, it was now an impossible thing. But was there a thread of truth in what she had said: that although I would not love him, could I be happy here with Erik as a companion? Perhaps I had been living too much in the past and I needed to try and make an effort to be contented. It may not be so absurd after all, but I was not willing to admit it quite yet.

"Maybe," I hedged instead, loathing the way my sister always spoke such sense in the situations where I could see none. She had a level head and seemed to be able to explain everything away, put what I was feeling into words, and tell me the right advise almost every time. Oh, how I had missed her! And I would miss her again. I embraced her for a second and final time before letting her finally go out the door to where her driver—whom I waved to as he had been my driver for much of my life as well—sat waiting with the carriage.

I watched until they pulled away, my sister hanging from the carriage window and shouting sentimental statements back at me until they were gone in a thudding of hooves and a cloud of dust. I sighed for a moment, leaning against the doorframe for a second longer before I returned inside and shut the door securely behind me, latching the door as Erik always lectured me to do. I had forgotten to do it only one time, and Erik had yelled at me so thoroughly I knew I would never do it again.

This made me think of my husband, and how he had gone out to retrieve Rachel for me so I could visit. Rachel said that he had told my parents that I had seemed depressed, and he had wanted to make me happy and this was the only way he knew how.

It surprised me that he had gone so much out of his way for me, and it made me feel more cared for than I ever had been with him. And although I usually did not do such things, I had to seek him out and thank him. I knew the conversation would be stiff and awkward—as it always was between us—but I knew I would not feel right not showing my gratitude. So I left the foyer and went to his study, where I could usually find him if he was not in his music room. Since I did not hear the muted sounds of an instrument, I figured he would be there.

I knocked cautiously, waiting a moment to hear his customary bark of "come in" before I would proceed to do so. When I heard nothing, I pressed my ear gingerly against it and knocked again.

"Erik?" I questioned to the wood, fearing walking in without being invited. When no one answered, I decided to chance it, opening the door quietly and poking my head inside. I was surprised at the sight that greeted me.

Erik was, indeed, in his office. But he was no conscious. He lay, sprawled, on his chair, arms crossed on his chest and feet perched up on the messy desk in front of him. His mouth was slightly open, breathing evenly and deeply, confirming that he was asleep. I had never seen him look to peaceful and at ease, but this was not the most shocking thing that I saw. On his lap was a little cream colored kitten, one that I could easily hold in the palm of my hand. He, or she, was stretched out on Erik's lap, one paw dangling cutely over the side of his leg, resting on his knee.

Upon hearing me enter, it lifted its little head, studied me, and then meowed, though it was mostly a squeak, weakly. I immediately jumped back and shut the door, predicting that I was not supposed to have seen that. I hoped the kitten wouldn't rouse Erik, and if it did, he would not suspect me.

I rushed down the hallway, eager to be away from the room in case he did wake. All the while questions were floating through my head. Where did the kitten come from? And why did he have it? Although particularly nasty at times, Erik seemed like the kind of person who would take in a lost kitten if it came to our doorstep. I had caught him one night cautiously catching a little brown spider in a cup to release back outside. Most people would simply just smash the creature and be on their way, but I saw him capture the thing with such caution and care it made me immensely curious about why he would do such a thing. I had wanted to ask, but much like this time, I thought it was best to slip into the shadows and keep my mouth shut, which was often the solution I took.

A few minutes later I lay splayed on my bed, listening to the sounds of our maid cleaning up the kitchen from dinner, a lonely event that had just been only Rachel and I. Erik had not come down, and now I believed it was because he had been asleep, which was odd, because I had never seen him asleep before. He always seemed to be awake, and I had asked him once, and he said he slept about nine or ten hours a week. I found that quite astonishing since I slept about eight hours a _night_. I wouldn't have believed him if I did not live with him. But because I did, I saw it firsthand. He was always awake, working, and writing, and playing music. I had always thought myself an intelligent person, but it was nothing compared to my husband, who did nothing but learn and do. He never seemed to just relax, something I did quite often.

I sighed and rolled onto my side, looking at the wall and wondering again what Rachel had said. Perhaps she was right, that I was dwelling too much into the past and I did have the opportunity. I yawned. I would think about it more in the morning.

I had not realized I had dozed off when I heard some sort of noise, and my eyes flew open, catching the movement of something nearby. I gasped, sitting up so quickly it made my head spin.

"I'm sorry," Erik said, holding up his hands. "I didn't mean to startle you."

I laid a hand over my chest, trying to slow my suddenly bursting heartbeat. "It's alright." I swung my legs over my bed, realizing then I was still fully clothed.

"Did you enjoy the visit with you sister?"

Thinking back to the difficulty he had gone through to get my sister here, I smiled. "Yes, I did. Thank you for bringing her here."

As predicted, Erik was embarrassed at my gratitude, and he simply cleared his throat and nodded before saying, "I have something to show you. Would you care to follow me downstairs?"

Nodding, I stood up and followed him from the room, suspecting what he was going to show me. Sure enough, he led me to his study, though I did not say what I already knew. He opened the door without a word and I saw the same kitten from before sleeping on the chair, curled up into an impossibly tiny ball. He gestured towards it with his long and bony hands.

"Rachel said…I mean, she told me you liked kittens. So I…," he trailed off awkwardly, before looking at me for my reaction.

Warmth spread from my abdomen to the rest of my body, to the very tips of my fingers. He had gotten me a kitten!

"This is for me?" I asked, quite shocked.

"Yes, I just, well, wanted to give you something, and Rachel told me you liked kittens."

I took in a startled breath at this new information. He had gone through the trouble of asking my sister what kind of gift I would prefer and getting it, on top of bringing Rachel here. I suddenly felt very selfish.

"If you don't like it, I'm sure we can always take it back. Perhaps you would prefer a necklace?"

I looked at Erik, at the same moment realizing that he was taking my silence in a way that said I did not like the kitten, which was the complete opposite of my true feelings.

"Oh no, Erik. It's simply perfect! Thank you so much!" And before I registered what I was doing, before I even thought about the fact that we had not voluntarily touched since our wedding night, I sprang forward and wrapped my arms quickly around his waist, pressing myself against him for only the briefest of moments before going to inspect my new kitten.

Rachel had been correct in this—I had always wanted a kitten but had never been able to have one. I had always said that when I was married and out of my house I would get one for myself, but I suppose that had been the last things on my mind in my weeks here. I was so thrilled with the prospect of the little bundle of fur that tears of gratitude stung my eyes, but I refused to let them spill. I would feel completely and utterly ridiculous if I did.

I bent down on my knees so I could see the kitten, and picked it up to inspect it. It mewed irritably, annoyed at being woken up, but it quickly settled down again when I cradled it against my chest. I stroked the soft fur and listened to the loud purr it uttered.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" I asked curiously, turning to face Erik, who stood in the same place he had been at before, looking awestruck. "What?" I questioned at the expression on his face.

He shook his head before saying it was a girl. I nodded and looked back at it, stroking her tiny face. "Does she have a name?" I questioned.

This time Erik's answer was not delayed.

"No, I figured you would want to do that."

I smiled. He was right. "Thank you. Truly."

"You're welcome."

--

An hour and a half later, I lay on my bed stroking my new kitten, which I had named Echo after a nymph in Greek Mythology who loved the sound of her own voice, and would distract Hera with it so that Zeus could go and be with other nymphs. I found within the first hour together that she very much liked the sound of her own meow, as she meowed almost nonstop, and I thought that name suited her. Erik had agreed.

He seemed interested that I like mythology, and had asked if I would like to borrow a book on it in his library. I had eagerly agreed, and now I sat with it open in front of me, a sleeping kitten beside me. I could hear her purring loudly and it made me smile. It was a very homey sound and I knew I loved her immediately. I also loved the collar Erik had gotten her, which was imbedded with rubies, which was my favorite stone. It only showed more how much thought had actually gone into it.

It looked odd to be hanging on such a small creature, but I knew she would eventually grow into it. I stroked her back, loving the way she arched it in a way that my fingers were closer to it. Cats were such entertaining creatures.

I tried to focus on the book, I was rereading the story of Echo in dedication to my new kitten, but I found I could not concentrate. I found myself reading and rereading the same sentence over and over but not comprehending what it was I was reading. When I read a whole page before realizing I had no idea what I had just read, I flipped the book shut, giving up.

I turned on my back, staring at my dark ceiling that only had my long shadow on it from the nearby lit lamp.

I was still touched at what Erik had done for me. I could not stop thinking about it. I had learned early on that he was by no means selfish, but it did not seem like he went too much out of his way to give me what I wanted, until today. I felt like I should do something reciprocal for him, but I had no idea what. He seemed to have everything he wanted, and if he did not, I'm sure he could just go out and get it himself. I doubted I would be able to leave alone anyways.

A woman alone in town was just horribly bad in itself, and since we had no one who could chaperone me, I was stuck here. Perhaps next time Rachel visited I could convince Erik to take us out for lunch or even just tea. Something besides this boring house!

I felt a slight pang when I realized I had already turned my thoughts selfishly back at me, and I sighed again, rolling onto my stomach and shutting my eyes, falling asleep within moments.

I woke the next morning to muted light, and glancing at the clock on my dresser, I saw it was nine o'clock. Echo was nowhere to be seen and I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes and yawning. Immediately I caught sight of an envelope on my dresser. My name was written on the front, and curious, I took it into my hands. Seeing the slanted script of my sister, my heart skipped a beat. I ripped it open gracelessly and took out the paper, my eyes scanning hungrily over the words.

_Audi,_

_I hope you are doing well. I am, so do not worry yourself over me. I hope you forgive me for the cruel words I said to you before I left. I did not mean them. I hope you did not mean the things you said, either. I know you are now married, and it is not to James. I hope are happy, little sister, because you deserve it. I am not ready for anyone to write to be quite yet, so I will write you around Christmastime. I love and miss you._

_-Jacky_

After reading it I sprang from my bed, grabbing my dressing robe off the edge of my bed and running downstairs, buttoning it as I did so. I found Erik in the kitchen, spreading some jam on a small piece of bread. I held up the letter.

"When did this arrive?" I asked, breathless.

"This morning," he answered. "Who is it from?"

"My sister," I said, looking down at the paper again, suddenly feeling very sad.

"But you just saw her yesterday—"

"My other sister, Jacqueline."

"Oh." He continued spreading the jam around before saying, "I did not know you had another sister."

"She ran away," I said point-blankly, not knowing why I was telling him this. "When James ran off with our money she was going to be forced to marry some old man for his money. She wouldn't do it. She left with the stable boy."

"Why?"

"She loved him." Now having been forced into a marriage, I could see why she would be forced to the edge of desperation and finally felt that she had no other way out than leaving completely. I saw everything now, and it made me sad I could not tell her I understood why she left us. "This is the first I've heard from her," I said, holding up the letter. "She left no return address though. I don't know where she is. Her leaving is the reason I—" I stopped myself from finishing it with "married you." It was too late though, he knew what I was going to say. I felt dim and inconsiderate, but there was no taking it back now.

"I'm sorry," he said, then, "Do you miss her?"

"Yes," I replied honestly. "And I said terrible things to her before she left. I called her selfish." My voice cracked slightly and I cleared my throat. "I was the one being selfish."

Erik sighed then, looking up at me. "We're all selfish from time to time. Sometimes it can't be helped." I felt uncomfortable for a second, believing he was talking about us, but he glided right over the awkward moment. "But she can't be terribly mad at you, if she wrote you."

I smiled slightly. "Yes, I suppose you're right." I paused. "She said she would write again at Christmas. Perhaps I will be able to write her back that time."

Erik agreed it would be a good thing if I was bale, then he sent me upstairs to bathe and get dressed, for we were going out to lunch to see Nadir. Excited at the prospect of going out I skipped happily up the stairs, feeling light and happy. Between seeing Rachel, getting Echo from Erik, hearing from Jacqueline, and going out to lunch I was in a cheerful mood.

As I bathed, I also realized that part of my good mood had to do with the fact that I had discussed my feelings and my life with Erik, and it had gone quite smoothly. He had listened and replied, and had been sympathetic.

That was the moment I learned Rachel had been completely and utterly right: that I could be happy. I just had to try.

--

**Genny's Note: I had to get this chapter up. In ten hours I will be on a plane on my way to the beautiful NYC for my graduation present. I know I will not have internet and I wanted to update before I left and even though I have to be up in five hours, that is okay! Happy graduation to me! And I hope you all are pumped for the beginning of summer. Please review!**

**I will probably write this week, especially since on Tuesday night I am seeing "The Phantom of the Opera" on Broadway. Inspiration, much? (: Ah! I cannot wait! Have a great week everyone! And forgive typos. It's bedtime.**


	16. Skills and Intimidation

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Sixteen: Skills and Intimidation  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_Six Months Later  
December 12__th___

Erik

The very idea! How could he even suggest such a thing? To get Audrey a puppy for Christmas…the damn cat was already enough to drive me insane! It never shut up, and it definitely deserved the name Audrey had given her.

"That was the dumbest idea I have heard," I said, picking a piece of lent from my dress pants as I waited for him to hand me my brandy. He did not. "What?" I demanded as he paused halfway across the room.

"When I give a suggestion I do not wish for it to be shot down so quickly," he responded as he finished crossing the expanse of the room and handed me my drink. "Especially when you ask my opinion," he finished.

"Well we already have the cat," I said. "Adding a puppy to this house would be a very bad idea. Take my word for it."

"I will, but unfortunately for you, I have no other ideas," Nadir said, taking the seat across from me.

I pursed my lips before taking a sip from my brandy. Christmas was only a little over two weeks away and I still had no idea what I should get Audrey. I wanted to get her something besides clothes and jewelry, because God knows she has enough of both. It was so hard to find something that was both meaningful and wanted from her.

"Why not simply _ask_ what she wants?" Nadir questioned, using a tone that indicated his solution was easy and obvious.

I gave an exasperated sigh. I suppose I could not expect him to understand since he had not had a wife in many, many years. But it still annoyed me at his lack of help. "I do not want to just come out and ask, because then it won't be a surprise."

"Well Allah Erik!" He slammed his glass on the table. "I am at a loss of what you want me to do. Every idea I have thus far said has been shot down, and since asking her is apparently out of the question, it would seem you are on your own."

I weighed this statement, taking a sip of my drink as I did so. Then my mind wandered elsewhere while Nadir sat in awkward silence, waiting for me to say something.

"What is you took her out, just to shop, and you can just see what attracts her?"

"Finally, Daroga, you make yourself useful. That, indeed, is a good idea." Though going out in the madness that is Christmas shopping was uncomfortable, extremely so, I would do it. We could possibly go to the smaller village outside of London, where the crowds would definitely be smaller.

Nadir merely sighed and leaned back in his seat. "I do not know why I put up with you," he said as he gave a small tired smile.

"Me either, as a matter of fact. But you do, somehow, endure it. But now, let us go get something to eat from the kitchen. Audrey is due back from her walk at any moment, and once she is, the house will no longer be able to be enjoyed in silence."

--

As predicted, when Audrey returned, she sounded similar to that of a Frisian horse stampeding up the stairs. She and Nadir got on very well, and they enjoyed the other's visits very much. If I was being honest, I suppose I would say how well he and Audrey got along made me a little jealous. But who said I was honest?

"Lovely to see you!" Audrey said in her typical purr of a voice and kissing his cheek before sliding into the chair next to me. "Ghastly weather, don't you think?" she asked, jumping right into conversation.

Nadir simply shrugged. "I find the fog and rain quite pleasant, actually," he responded.

Although no one asked her opinion, she gave it anyways, though both of us were used to it by now. "I find it simply pathetic! Only a little over two weeks until Christmas and it is not snowing! I very much look forward to when it does."

I cleared my throat in order to gain my wife's attention. "Audrey, how would you feel about a little shopping before dinner?"

Always eager to go out, I learned shortly after our marriage it was not to get away from me as I had first assumed, but that she had an adventurous spirit and was always eager to go out and explore, her face erupted into a smile. "That would be fabulous! I still need to get presents for my mother and Rachel, and maybe…"

She trailed off, looking thoughtful, and I leaned forward, fervent, as always, to know what she was thinking. She was such a curious creature I found that I went slowly insane if she kept all her thoughts to herself, and so I often questioned her. Although in our months of marriage I had begun to get very good at deciphering her expressions.

"Maybe?..." I prompted, waving my hand in a slightly impatient gesture.

"Well, if Jacky does write to me, perhaps I could send her something." Audrey sighed then, shaking her head, making her ringlets slap her neck with its force. "It's silly I know. Forget I mentioned it."

I chose my next words carefully. "Well she said she may write around Christmas, and you may want to have a present prepared if she does do so." She wouldn't listen to me if I told her it wasn't silly, or that her sister would most definitely write. Audrey was never concerned with petty promises and words, and speaking logically to her usually got what needed to be done. Sometimes.

She gave a light smile. "I suppose you're right. What kind of sister would I be if I didn't send her a present?"

"What kind indeed?" I mumbled a little sarcastically to myself. When she shot me a look I cleared my throat, hiding my laugh before saying, "What of that boy, I suppose by now, husband she's with? Would you like to get him something?" She sometimes surprised me by how generous she could be.

She snorted delicately. "He's the entire reason she left. He deserves nothing."

And sometimes she reminded me who she really was.

"Ah, of course. How silly of me. Nadir, my dear friend, would you care to join us?"

Before he could open his mouth to speak, Audrey spoke for him. "Well of course he cannot go! We must get his present while we're out as well."

Nadir and I exchanged glances before he softly said, "Erik and I have always agreed to never exchange presents."

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. This was the first year in, well…ever that I would be exchanging gifts with someone for Christmas. Usually I preferred when the season was over, because all the happiness and presents and love upset me. I never had anyone to share it with, and so I was always happy when it passed. Plus none of the carolers had high-quality pitch. But now I felt a little jolt of…excitement that I would be getting someone a gift this year. But honestly, Nadir had been the last person on my mind this year.

"Well, nonsense!" Audrey huffed. "You're here once a week, perhaps more, and you are my husband's closest friend! Perhaps only. Sorry Erik," she said glancing at me, but I merely shrugged. It was true. "You deserve a present, and therefore you cannot go with us."

I gave a faux-sigh. I was actually anxious to spend the day with just Audrey and I. The prospect that Christmas was upon us and I had someone to share it with, and my own wife no less, was so appealing to me that I did not want to share it with anyone. Nadir included.

"She won't give up Daroga. Might as well leave," I said, silently happy he would be doing so. But I was right about one thing, that Audrey would not rest until both of us relented. I had learned that about her early on, along with many other things in these past seven months of marriage.

I can still remember the turning point with us, and it was just around the time she got the letter from her sister, Jacqueline. After that, she seemed to be kinder, and more considerate. Conversation came more easily, and she stopped looking for every fault in her life and complaining about it.

We often shared conversations about books, of which she did not have terrible taste, though it could be better, and I had begun to educate her in music and science. I had tried to give her voice lessons, for whatever thing possessed me and told me it was a good idea, which had ended very, very, _very_ badly. I suppose that teaching Christine, who still has the voice of the most beautiful angel, had spoiled me a bit, and although Audrey wasn't bad, she was not very good either. Whoever her voice teacher had been before had done nothing but told her but she wanted to hear, and so when I had been honest with her, she had become very put out with me.

So, that idea had ended rather quickly, but we would sometimes take turns reading books aloud to one another and discussing them afterwards. We even had debates about science and politics, which, also never ended too well. But she was a tough girl and could take my stinging criticism and was often able to admit when she was wrong. She was very willing to learn new things, and was often entertained with some of the magic I would perform for her.

Although not a typical husband and wife, I would tentatively call us friends.

"We must get Echo something as well," Audrey said as we walked Nadir to the door, where we would be departing in our own carriage.

"We are _not_ getting a cat a Christmas present," I said, rolling my eyes.

Audrey did not respond, but I knew before we came back that evening, among our possessions would be some absurd cat toy or bed for her precious monster, but I would not argue about that at the current moment. Now, I would just enjoy the carriage ride and the shopping I would do in the little nearby village with my wife. And my friend.

--

Soon we were in a neighboring little town, meandering around the shops, and I was paying very special attention to anything Audrey showed interest in. She was always running about the shop we were in, hands fluttering from one object to another, and quite frankly I found it exhausting to keep up with.

But it wasn't long until I had some very good ideas, and I almost knew what I was going to get her. I would have to return soon in the next two weeks to get it for her. I would have to lie about my destination, of course, which would prove difficult with her, but it shouldn't be too hard. I was mulling these things over as we were walking down the street Audrey chattering away about something she had gotten Rachel, and I was only half listening, when the trouble began.

A small store was being built on the left side of the street, the area being fenced off to prevent anyone from wandering inside, and the men working construction were pulling out sandwiches wrapped in thin pieces of parchment from their bags. It was obviously their break time. There were five of them from the looks of it, and although I was probably being paranoid, I put myself between them and Audrey, who was still chatting animatedly about the gloves she had gotten, and so she did not notice.

My life had always taught me to be wary of strangers, and I would never let myself be caught off guard, especially when Audrey was with me. As it turned out though, I was not being unreasonable, though I may have preferred that to what followed soon after.

As we walked by, their whisper was so low I was sure Audrey had not heard, but I stood corrected only a moment later.

"Some people really should not be let out of their cages."

A cage. _A cage!_

Those few words were enough to send my memory plummeting back to somewhere in Rome where I was locked in the filthy and degrading cage, being poked with sticks and curious fingers; fingers of people who wanted to know what the Devil's Child felt like. The smell was horrible enough to make a man with even the strongest stomach retch. All dignity was stripped from me while I was confined to that prison like an animal, and it was never a place that I wanted to revisit, even in my memories.

The comment had been something that, if I was alone, I would have turned around and showed them what a person who belonged in a cage could do, but because Audrey was with me, I clenched my fist and settled within my own mind to let it go. I did not need to get in a squabble with Audrey here, and since I had obviously not intended to hear the statement, I would just walk away.

But before I could react, Audrey stopped her happy chattering in midsentence, swiveled around to face the workers, and in a low voice hissed, "Excuse me?"

One of the men, who had a large belly that looked as if he was carrying a baby to full term, laughed heartily before saying, "Don't worry poppet, we were talking to your client over there."

"Yes, and whatever he's paying you, I'm sure I could do better!" Another went on and then continued with, "I get paid after my shift tonight. What do you say?"

"What do I say? 'What do you say' he asks! Why, I will tell you what I think of you, you fat, pompous—"

While these words were exchanged, anger that I had never felt before boiled under my skin and made me see red. I would have very much liked to go over to where these men stood and snap every one of their necks. It would be a quick and easy process, and I even had my old Punjab lasso in my cloak pocket, but again, because of Audrey, I resisted, but that did not exclude saying something to them. I just had to get my wife out of earshot. I grabbed her by the elbow, stopping her from what she was about to say, before dragging her several yards away and releasing her a moment later.

"Wait here," I said in a tone that told her now was not the time to disobey me, and she understood immediately, bobbing her head in acknowledgment, but I could see the anger still brewing behind her eyes. I then turned quickly, striding over to where the arrogant and pretentious men still stood, snickering to each other and laughing outright. I stopped all but two feet from them, and hoped that they noticed their luck that a gate was between us.

"Over the years of my life I have acquired a very particular set of skills. Some of which you may find very excruciating and torturous if you decide to cross me or my exquisite wife again. This includes, but is not limited, to skinning you alive if you so much as look at us again. I have seen the light go from many men's eyes in my life and at my hand, and I will not even flinch to do so to any of you." I then paused, fixing them with a very even stare, watching as my threats registered into their minds and terror entered their eyes. I then tipped my hat slightly and said, "Gentlemen." I then walked back to where Audrey was and offered her my arm. "Let us depart."

She took my arm without hesitation, which sent a slight thrill down my spine, and as we walked by them, I heard her mumble, "Bastards," under her breath, which made me smile slightly.

Once we were far away enough, I took her by the shoulders. "Are you alright?" I asked with concern.

Her blue eyes were unfocused, but she turned them to me and said, "Well yes, I am fine. Merely annoyed. Where do they come off that way, saying that you belong in a cage and that I am a…" She trailed off, taking a deep breath, to calm her I assumed, before saying slowly, "I am just very unhappy about the way they treated you and I would very much like to say something to them."

This worried me immensely so. "I don't care what they say to me. You are not to go say anything to them, even if you happen upon them again. Am I clear?" I said severely, horrified at the idea of her going after them alone to try and to, in a way, avenge me. No matter how much the thought of her defending me pleased me, I knew it was _not_ a good idea in the slightest.

"Perfectly so," she said, looking a little annoyed at this, but did not argue. Perhaps she could see how much this disturbed me.

A few minutes later, we sat in the carriage on the way back to our home in compatible silence. Audrey was looking out the window, brooding angrily. I saw her eyes shift conspicuously to me, as if deciding something, before she looked at me and then laid her head gently on my shoulder.

"Thank you Erik," she said with a sigh as she shifted to get in a comfortable position before laying her hand on my own and squeezing it gently.

My heart stuttered an uneven rhythm; for this was the most physical contact she had given me of her own free will since she hugged me for getting her Echo. It is funny how I remembered it that way, and I knew this moment would remain imbedded in my mind until the next one came alone, perhaps even after that.

I cautiously squeezed her hand back before saying, "You're welcome." I was a little apprehensive about speaking, afraid it would shatter the moment, but we remained that way until we pulled up in front of our home, and comfortably so.

--

**Genny's Note: Wow. I came out with this one fast, especially for the fact that I am on vacation. I saw Phantom last night and I cried three times. Hah. But you can thank that show for this chapter. I've been working on it any spare minute I have in the hotel, and found that we have internet access in only one of the lounges in our hotel. I am off to Time's Square now, but I will edit this chapter and add in the lyrics or quote later when I have more time. Until then, thank you(:**

**As for any questions I've gotten on reviews, I am unable to answer them due to time restraint but I hope this chapter answers some of them, and if not, I will get back to you when I am back home on Sunday. Thanks again and please review! It makes my day!**


	17. At Every Candle's End

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Seventeen: At Every Candle's End  
By Genevieve Lee

--  
_Take away,  
These hands of darkness.  
Reaching for my soul.  
Now, the cold wind,  
blows out my candles.  
Feeling,  
only fear,  
without any hope._

_-_Candles_ by Within Temptation_

--

_Audrey._

I twisted the fabric of my nightgown around my finger, watching as it disappeared beneath the white lace. "So…," I began cautiously, not daring to look up at him. "What exactly did you say to them?"

A heavy sigh followed my question, like the two others times I had asked it that night. "As you have asked the exact question twice already, and the answer has been the same, what makes you think it will be different five minutes later?"

I frowned at this, not answering, because it was obviously meant to be a rhetorical question, meaning he was not expecting an answer. "I'm just saying, they looked _terrified_. I thought they may turn and run at that exact moment." I smiled slightly at the memory, before turning what I was saying towards a different direction. "And I'm also just saying—" another weighted sigh— "that because they insulted me as well, I should know what finally shut their arrogant mouths."

"No, Audrey, you should not," Erik responded, still reading his book when I shyly looked up.

I huffed, leaning back against my chair and setting my own book aside as reading it was now a lost cause. Ever since we had returned from our disastrous shopping trip, I had been trying to find out what Erik had said to those men to get them to submit like timid puppies. He, of course, would not give in and kept saying it was not for my ears anyways. And this, of course, frustrated me to no end.

"I am not quite that frail," I grumbled unattractively before an idea popped into my head, and I smirked at him mischievously. "If you will not tell me perhaps they will. I'm sure if I found them and gently inquired—"

I finally got a reaction from him, though not a positive one. He lowered his book so quickly, where it fell closed and on his lap, forgotten, that I stopped midsentence, surprised, but was never able to continue.

"You are not to, under any circumstance, attempt to _find_ them, and if I discover you are doing so you will never—"

"Erik! I was joking," I said in exasperation. If I wasn't so annoyed, I may have found his concern endearing, but at the present time I did not. "I do not need you to tell me it would be a completely idiotic idea."

He snorted. "It seems as if you do. I swear Audrey, if you do anything of the sort, I will never allow you to leave this house again."

My irritation flared outright and I sulked for a moment before standing up, adjusting my dressing robe as I did so. "You will do no such thing," I argued.

"If you give me cause to, don't think I won't."

No, of course Erik would do as he said. No part of my mind doubted he would do such a thing if I, for some implausible reason, did go after them. What would I do if I did? Demand for them to never talk to Erik or me like that again? It seemed that Erik made that point _very_ clear when he spoke to them earlier.

"I think I will go to bed now," I said instead, not keen on arguing a ridiculous point, because no matter how many times I told him so, the fact I was merely poking fun at him would not matter.

"Very well. Goodnight," he said indifferently, picking up his book, which was in Russian. His knowledge seemed endless.

"Goodnight," I snapped immaturely before sauntering out of the library and to my bedroom. I turned down my lamp and crawled into bed, laying in between the cool sheets and thinking about what had happened today with rage. I had never seen Erik so angry before. Sure, he and Nadir argued more often than not, but it was always playful banter, and never with the murder I had seen in his eyes today.

But soon my mind slipped away from those pessimistic thoughts and began drifting towards the reason we had been out: Christmas. My excitement was at its maximum point, and right as I was on the verge of sleep, a thought crawled, unbidden, into my mind that made my eyes snap open: I had to think of what to get Erik for Christmas, and more importantly, how to do so without him finding out.

--

Our lips met in a wild array of power. I felt his insistent pressure and demand on my mouth as if the words were spoken aloud. His tongue gently tailored to mine before becoming more adamant against my own, and the rapid need for him was uncontrollable and consuming to any other emotion I felt.

Suddenly, everything around me fell away, and I found myself lying horizontal, the soft cushions of the bed I had landed upon molded to allow my shape into them. A moment later, they admitted another shape; and the shape of my husband came into place, and his lips were on mine again, teasing and tickling and whispering one thousand different whispers in my ear.

Chills traveled up my spine, and I found myself arching against him to meet him in this crazy quest I did not yet understand. The weight he pressed upon me made my breath hiss out in a sharp gasp, and I found my head dipping low onto his shoulder in attempt to control the wild desires within me I was not sure I should be feeling. In response he kissed the skin just below my earlobe before gently nibbling on it, and I could not help the low moan that escaped from me.

It seemed to encourage him, and soon there was nothing between us, all clothes and blankets were gone and it was just us and the feral passion neither of us knew existed. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed myself to him, my soft breasts felt contradictory to his strong and flat chest, but the feeling was desirable anyways. I hitched my leg around his hip, pulling him closer, knowing I needed him, and unable to wait any longer.

He seemed unwilling to linger any longer as well, and soon we were one, and in whispers and moans we said one another's names, twisting and turning on the sheets, taking turns leading, taking turns pleasing each other.

I cried out his name, and my nails dug into his back, trying to stay where I was, but wanting to fall away at the same time. I felt delicious and wanted, and soon we exhausted one another and we lay entwined in each other's arms, breathing deeply and resting until we started all over again.

The gasping did not stop, and it seemed an eternity before it seemed only one of us was doing it, and then he disappeared, as did the entire scene and I found myself in my room, and quite alone. I was spread out across the bed, waiting for a touch that had never happened that night, and I also despicably found myself wanting it.

A place on my body I had never really thought about pulsed with the dreams that were not, and sweat streaked itself across my forehead and behind my neck.

"A dream," I said to myself. "It was only a dream."

I felt the sudden and overwhelming desire to turn on a light, and prove to myself that it was only a fabrication, for it felt so real. Gripped by this new panic I jumped from my bed, accidently stepping on Echo's tail who yowled in annoyance before streaking from my room, where the door had been left partway open. I ignored this obstacle, stumbling to where my lamp was, and turning it up until my room was no longer dark. Still panting, I looked around to find nothing out of place. All my pillows and blankets were on the bed, and my nightgown was still on and there seemed to be no holes or rips.

Shaken, I leaned heavily on the nightstand in which I was next to, but soon found that it sent the lamp tumbling to the ground. It was carpeted, and so it did not shatter, nor did the flame escape it, but it still made a royally obvious and loud sound. I picked it up quickly, least I set something on fire, before setting it down on the table. I then froze, holding my breath and listening for any sounds that Erik had heard the ruckus I had caused. A gently creaking door met my ears and I immediately sprang into action.

I turned down the light to what it had been before and jumped into bed, throwing the blankets over my body and assuming the position I usually slept in, which was on my stomach. I tucked my hands underneath my body, resting them on that part of me that still ached, hoping to rid myself of the sensation, and more importantly, forget what had caused it. I tried to make my breathing deep and even, and also attempted to shut my eyes without trying to make it look like I was squeezing them closed. Normally I would not care if Erik found me awake in the middle of the night, but I did not particularly want to explain the reason why I had been stirring.

A moment later I heard my own door open gently, and listened as Erik gave a pregnant pause in its doorway, giving me a moment to see if I was awake. I continued feigning sleep.

"Audrey?" he whispered in a voice that would have gained my attention if I was awake, but would not disturb my slumber if I was not.

I concentrated on breathing, and a moment later, I heard him mumble the words "bloody cat" under his breath before he walked out, closing the door silently behind him. I lay still for a few more minutes in case he came back, and when I was sure he was gone until I made some other loud sound, I rolled on my side, facing the wall and trying to focus my mind on anything other than the fantasy I had had.

"Only a dream, only a dream," I chanted mechanically to myself, not ready to admit to myself that I wished it had not been.

--

I slept very little the rest of the night, fearing the dream would return, and wanting it to all at the same time. It resulted in much tossing and turning and gasping awake, though Erik never came back to check on me again, at least that I knew of.

When the sun finally began rising I agreed with myself it was early enough to rise, and did so, quickly changing and doing my hair, figuring the maid was still asleep and wanting to be alone anyways. I left my room, peeking out cautiously before padding quietly down the hallway and towards the kitchen. The night before Erik had insisted I eat only broth and some toast for dinner, fearing I had gone into some sort of shock over the incident.

I had snorted at the thought of me going into shock over a little name calling. I had endured far worse insults in finishing school and in ballrooms. But he had not relented no matter how much I had argued, and it left me very hungry for breakfast this morning.

Upon entering the kitchen, I began opening cupboards and drawers in search of food, and since I did not usually fend for myself food-wise, I was having a little trouble.

"Audrey?" a voice questioned behind me.

I took my head from the cupboard I was looking into and gave Erik a nervous little smile. "Good morning Erik."

"You are awake early. Are you feeling alright?"

"Just fine, actually. I could not fall back asleep and I was a little hungry, though I know the maid is not up, and I figured I could just scrape something together."

He hesitated for a moment before saying, "Would you like me to make us something?"

I nodded slowly. "Alright," I agreed, and then stepped aside to let him work. I sat on a barstool that was tucked under the counter on the other side of the room, watching as he walked around, collecting supplies for eggs, bacon, and toast with marmalade.

"What kept you from sleep?" he wondered aloud. "Was it a bad dream?"

_His lips on mine, his hands trailing themselves over my body…_

"Erm…," I struggled slightly, clearly flustered. "It was a dream…," I finally allowed.

"Oh?" he inquired, using his tone to ask for more information instead of doing it directly.

"Though," I mused, smiling mischievously and biting my lower lip, "it wasn't necessarily a _bad _dream. But it caught me off guard."

Erik did not seem to notice the obvious contradicting emotions I displayed since his back was to me and he was taking out pans and bowls and getting the wood stove ready, and so when he asked, "What was it about," he did not seem as if the answer was truly imperative to hear.

"Nothing of importance," I said, and blushing when he looked at me. I felt like a total fool. I never blushed! And here I was doing it excessively with no known reason to Erik, who just shook his head and resumed preparation for breakfast. I leaned over slightly, watching it, before saying, "Do you want me to help?" I asked as he pulled a mixing spoon from a drawer. "I don't mind."

For a moment he said nothing, and I thought I may have offended him by not telling him what my dream was about. How could I? But then he turned around and said, "Sure, if you want to."

So, for the first time together, Erik and I focused on achieving a singular task, even if it was only breakfast. We barley spoke, other than the occasional inquiry from me (how long should I cook the bacon, or what vegetables did he want in his eggs) and him answering (until it is no longer pink, and peppers and onions, please). After I got the vegetables out he cut them in an almost rhythmic way, doing it with grace as he did everything else. I could not stop watching, and only did so when he gave me a questioning look, to which sent me blushing again. I knew he did not like to be stared out, even if it was for reasons that had nothing to do with his mask. Soon, everything was finished, and we brought it to the dining room and ate, just the two of us.

"Good eggs," I complimented as we ate, and they really were: scrambled with just the right amount of vegetables in them.

"And the bacon has just the right crisp," he said, smiling as he tore it into tiny bits, as he always did because of his mask. Ever since the night I had drunken myself into pure stupidity, I had never said a thing about the mask. It was easier for both of us this way, but other times, I felt a dull ache for the trust I wanted from him.

Once we finished, the maid was awake, and though Erik assured her it was fine she had not been there to get breakfast ready for us, she insisted on cleaning up, and we had agreed.

As I rose from the table to go feed Echo, Erik looked at me and said, "Thank you."

I did not know what he was thanking me for: for the bacon, or helping him make breakfast, or just being with him. I didn't really matter, either.

So I smiled and said, "You're welcome." And we both watched each other for a moment, sharing something I did not know.

--

The rest of the morning, Erik acted strangely until he finally said he was going into London to post a letter and get some shopping done. I would have offered to go with him, but it was understood I never went with him into London. With such a big city and the thousands of people inside, he only went there when he had to, and when he did, he went alone so he could stay out of obvious sight of everyone. I only went with him in the evenings or sometimes early morning. The only daytime outings we took were to the nearby town we had been at yesterday, and even then we steered clear of crowded streets. I didn't mind though. I had slowly become accustomed to the quiet life I lived with my husband.

And so when he left, saying that he was also stopping by Nadir's home, for he would be out of town for the next week, I bid him farewell and began thinking of plans of my own for the day.

I had decided what to get Erik for Christmas, but now the only trouble I would have was actually getting it. I had been hoping to send Nadir on the errand since I could hardly get it while with Erik, but his news of him going on a little trek away from his home left little room for that. I could always wait until he returned a week later, but what if something kept him back? Or if I could not find the thing I wanted because the mass Christmas shoppers? No, I would have to do it alone.

I mused over my options for a moment. Erik was gone today, true, but for how long? I knew he would be infuriated with me if I left without his permission, and so I would rather do it without him knowing. He had said he was going to Nadir's and London…

Surely I would have enough time to make a quick run to the village and back before he discovered me missing? The time it took to get to the small town was about as much time as it took to get to Nadir's, plus the time he would spend getting to London, do whatever he needed to do there, and then come back again, I would surely not be caught. I could trust the maid to keep my secret, and so, decision made, I dressed for the cold weather outside, and sent my maid, who sent a messenger boy to retrieve me a hansom cab, which arrived an hour later. I donned my heaviest cloak, put enough money in my hand bag for the gift, and I was off.

--

It did not take long to find what I wanted: a beautiful violin I had seen Erik admiring in the window the previous day. The one in his music room looked to be on its last leg, and I knew Erik would have to replace it soon.

"This is the very best you have, sir? For I will pay whatever you require for the highest quality," I said, holding it gently in my hands.

"I assure you, miss, that you will find no better than this. Not even the finest music store in London has one similar. It was custom made for someone who ultimately did not want it, and I assure you perfection will be reached with it," the shopkeeper had assured me before I bought it. I was positive that my offer to pay whatever he wanted would have gotten me truthful answers, and if for some reason I had been deceived, I'm sure Erik could bring it back.

But even as I ran my hands over the smooth wood and the beautiful bow, I knew he would not be returning it. I knew nothing of instruments myself, but I thought it was gorgeous, and I knew Erik liked pretty things.

I paid what was owed and watched as he cleaned it thoroughly with some sort of polish and rag. I considered acquiring a cleaning kit for it, but figured Erik would have all he needed back at the house, and we could always come back if I was wrong. After he gently put it into its case, he thanked me for my business and wished me a merry Christmas. I did the same before leaving, happy with my purchase. I only hoped Erik would like it.

Once outside, I noticed two things simultaneously. Firstly, that although it was only entering to mid-afternoon, it had become considerably darker. Storm clouds had covered the thin gray ones in the past hour I had been in the shop, and a biting wind swept through, making me clutch my cloak closer to my shoulders with a shudder. The second thing I noticed was that my cab driver was nowhere to be seen. I had told him to wait for me, and the bastard had taken off! I suppose I took longer than expected, but still. What kind of driver would leave a woman alone, especially if she was paying him handsomely?

I glanced around quickly, hoping to spot another one, but the street I was on was quite deserted, for there were only a few shops on it. Plus the tiny town I was in had very few cabs, for most of the residences walked where they needed to go or rode horseback. They did not get many outside visitors which was going to make it considerably more difficult for me than if I was in London.

It was not dark yet, and so I did not worry, only over the fact that Erik would beat me home. I set off at a brisk pace down the street, clutching the violin case to my side as I did so.

It only took a moment for me to realize something was not right. On my right stood two shops, and one was the music shop behind me, and the one on my left was a small deli where a group of people—well, men really—were all standing, huddled in a group, but their eyes seemed focused on me. Now, men's eyes upon me was never something that was foreign, nor unwanted, but I just felt a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach—like there was something that wasn't right.

My mother had always told me to listen to my gut instinct, which at that moment was to turn and walk the other direction, but I knew I was more likely to get a cab in the way I was going in, towards a busier street, and so I pressed on, keeping my head low but eyes forward. I was almost past them, and about to chide myself for my silly fears when one of them spoke to me.

"Well if it ain't our masked man's lady friend."

My heart jumped into my throat, and adrenaline immediately coursed through my veins as I slowly turned to face them, making my face look brave and bored, though I was neither. I recognized the heavyset man first, and slowly the other faces fell into place: they were the men from the construction site the day before. I did not want to deal with their nuisances, and so I turned to leave.

"Hold on there a moment," another spoke, and without seeing what or how it happened, he was blocking my path. "I told ya to come by the site yesterday since I got paid." He licked his front teeth before continuing. "I waited for ya, and because of that, I would say I got a free one. What do you think?"

My eyes narrowed, and I clutched the case in front of me, preparing to whack him in the face with it if it was needed. "I think, sir, that if you want such a thing you should go and find a proper whore, for I am none."

He laughed boisterously, blocking me again when I attempted to pass. "I never said I wanted anything _proper_. You twist my words around, I don't like that."

"Hey Carl!" another one screeched, coming to stand beside me. "You better share."

"Sure," he smiled. "You can take her after me."

This was all the inspiration I needed, and I swung the case towards the one named Carl, using every bit of force I could muster. But he must have been expecting it, because it was deflected and the case went flying from my hands, landing with a shudder a few feet behind him.

"Nice try, I'll give you that. I like the ones with a little fight in them. It makes it more…interesting."

"My husband will kill you," I growled, knowing it to be true. "He will kill you when he finds out." I did not know if the threat would work, but it was all I had to hold onto.

The four men shared a laugh at this before one grabbed my cloak and yanked me backwards. "I don't see him anywhere. If he cared about his pretty wife so much, why would he let you wander the streets alone?"

_He wouldn't, _I thought, _He doesn't know I'm here._

"He's just around the corner," I lied. "He'll be along any moment looking for me."

"Too bad we saw you leave that cab all by your lonesome. The driver was really a nice man, but easily bribed."

I let that settle in, and then I opened my mouth to do the thing I should have done earlier: scream, but something foul in smell and taste was shoved in my mouth before I was pulled roughly behind the deli we were in front of. I stumbled beside them, who all made a protective square around me, laughing and talking as if they were playing a game. Tears stung my eyes as I thought of what my fate was to be.

They would rape me, I knew they would, and then they would probably kill me. Erik had given them such a fright the day before they undoubtedly wouldn't want to risk me running back to him and telling him what had happened to me, and by whom.

Thinking of Erik finding out about my death, and then being alone again hurt me more than I could say. Would he cry? Would he ever miss me? Or would he go back to Christine, the woman I knew he had once loved? Would he care about me at all? I knew we did not love each other, but we had become quite fond in the last few months. What would my death do to him?

A sob escaped me as I thought of these things. After listening to what Rachel had told me, about trying to be happy, I knew I could be if I just tried, and I knew I could Erik happy too. Maybe one day we could even love each other. I was far from the arrogant and spoiled girl I once was, and I wanted a chance to mold more into the person I was becoming, and being Erik's wife was part of it. How could I do any of this if I died this eve?

With these thoughts I began to thrash more violently, banging against anything I could, letting my feet flail on open shins and toes. I heard a few grunts as I came into contact with them, but mostly the one who held me just gripped my arms tighter, and more painfully, behind me. Once we were tucked out of sight, all I felt were hands upon me: everywhere at one. My cloak was ripped off, and so was my jacket, which sent the pearl buttons tumbling to the cobblestone floor with little pitter-patters that sounded oddly like rain.

I saw two of the men leave, to keep watch I assumed, since I had probably frightened them about my comment of meeting Erik. I felt optimism with the more even numbers and I fought harder.

My tongue loosened the gag in my mouth, and finally I was free of it, but a rip in my dress sent me into nothing but hysterical sobs.

"Please," I hiccupped, "please. My husband will pay anything."

They ignored me, and the fabric, perhaps it was a sock, was stuffed so far into my mouth I started retching. One man stood behind me, holding my arms, and the other stood in front of me, and I could see now he was undoing the buttons on his pants, pulling at himself, and I was frighteningly aware that my stockings were now pooled at my ankles, and that this man's knee was hitting my thighs open.

"I think I see someone coming," one of the men watching hissed down the alleyway, distracting both the men with me from their purpose.

"What? Who?" the one holding me demanded as he looked over his shoulder at his accomplice.

I took his split second of distraction and kicked my leg up, landing in the tenderest of places in the man in front of me, and in the same motion, swung my leg backwards to hit the man's shins behind me. His hold did not completely leave, but it slackened enough that I was able to pull from his grasp, and then I was free! I wasted no time, running around the other side of the deli, up the street, and towards the person that had spooked all the men in the first place.

I waved my hand wildly in the air, using my other one to hold my dress closed. Then, with tears streaming down my face, I ran in the direction of him while yelling, "Help me! For God's sake, please help me!"

--

**Genny's Note: I don't mean to be so evil, so let me let you in on a secret: we authors think that cliffhangers earn us more reviews! I hope dearly I am not wrong. Anyways, I watched Phantom tonight with a friend who had never seen it, so that was fun. **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, I hope you will review to tell me so! It was longer than usual. ****And the lyrics at the beginning are by a band whom this story is named for! I often listen to them while I am writing.**


	18. The Way I Loved You

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Eighteen: The Way I Loved You  
By Genevieve Lee

--  
_He can't see the smile I'm faking  
And my heart's not breaking  
'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all  
And you were wild and crazy  
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated  
Got away by some mistake and now…_

_-_The Way I Loved You_ by Taylor Swift_

--

_Christine._

I learned the hard way that you cannot hide from life. It'll come at you whether you're ready or not, and whether you embrace it or run from it is up to you. But there's no hiding. I tried to hide from my life and from my decisions, from my mistakes…

I tried to hide from everything that had to do with that night.

I had seen Meg only once since the night of the fire, and when everything else had happened. It had become too painful to see anyone from the opera house, for it just brought back too many painful memories. I slowly detached myself from her and any other connections I had. I ignored letters and calling cards, hiding behind my new life as a Victomess, which wasn't terribly hard since it kept me so busy. If I wasn't at a ball, I was planning the place settings for a tea we were hosting, or some other trivial thing.

Eventually the letters stopped altogether and I found myself remorseful, but after speaking to Raoul about it, he agreed if it helped me to forget, then it was for the best.

Ever since _that night_ I had been plagued by nightmares and was always woken up by Raoul stroking my hair softly and whispering promises of my safety and his loyalty into my ear.

What I could by no means enlighten him to was the fact that the dreams were not of Erik haunting and stalking me again, but what I witnessed over and over in slumber was the look on his face when I left him. All I saw was his tragically deformed features twisted into sadness with tears streaming down his cheeks.

But, of course, I could never tell my husband about that, and so I let him whisper these things away, and when we woke we never spoke of them. We never talked of Erik, or the opera house for that matter. I am sure it was because he figured I did not want to discuss it, but the truth was it would have been nice to try and untwine the complicated feelings I had. The only person I could think of to do that with would be Meg or Madame Giry, and it was impossible now, at least because of my doings.

I would not even know where to find them. I knew the opera house had finally opened back up after the year of renovations it went through, but I also knew that Meg and Madame Giry had not returned to it, since I attended the opera frequently socially. They also had a new diva, since La Carlotta went back to her home country; unable to cope with the night's disaster.

Anyways, as I had been saying, I had not seen Meg in over a year, and if I knew where to look, I would probably try and find her, but I was afraid of stirring old memories. I did not want to remember the opera house in any way, and I pushed away any thoughts that threatened to ever arise. But one day I was at the market with one of our cooks, determined to find the ingredients for a recipe Papa used to make me, when I saw her.

We saw each other at the same time, and for a second, we just stared at each other, and I instantly noticed the changes in her: her blonde hair was shorter and curlier, and she had gained a little weight. I suspected it to be from her lack of dancing every day, but it did not look bad on her, just different. I wondered, at her first glance, what was different about me.

"Meg," I said softly, though I knew she'd heard me by the expression on her face. She looked surprised that I had acknowledged her. And for a moment, I thought maybe everything would be okay between us, and we could patch things up. Surely I could forget those painful memories for my dearest and oldest friend?

Meg's expression though, became flat and bored before she turned her back, holding the sack of purchases closer to her side and starting across the busy market. My face flushed, and I could feel the others around me staring. The spurn had not gone unnoticed, and people coughed and looked away awkwardly. I suppose I had been wrong, and my friend and I were not ready to see each other again. I could not blame her for being angry at me, but I did not know what to say to excuse my actions. Would she understand? Would she care?

"Madame? Are you ready to go?"

I looked at the cook; I had forgotten I was not alone, which was strange since I never was these days. I nodded and walked with her to the carriage that stood a few yards off.

Staring out the carriage window as it rolled down the street, I tried to think of how I had gotten to this point in my life.

I suppose there always came a time when your life would veer off course. There are moments when we find ourselves at a crossroad. Confused. Without a compass. The choices we make at those moments make the rest of our lives.

When confronted with the prospect to change who we are, we usually turn away out of fear. But once and a while, people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of doing it alone. And just beyond the audacity and bravery to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance.

Something beyond the perseverance of a delusion.

Because it's only when you're tested you truly discover who you are.

And it's only when you're tested you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere beyond hard work and devotion and faith. And beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.

I was a coward.

There is no other way of putting it. When given the choice, I took the easy way out. No running, no avoiding it. There's no burying, flying, or dreaming it away. That night I was presented with a choice, and although my mind told me one thing, my heart told me another, but I went with my logic. I loved Raoul, and I still do, do not get me wrong, but I just find myself thinking "what if?" everyday. I also wonder if I had chosen Erik, would I still be thinking the same thing I am now.

Maybe.

Probably.

I had discovered long ago that I was a very spoiled girl; that, even as a chorus girl, I had two wonderful men pursuing me. But it wasn't enough. I know now I could never be fully happy with either of them. I selfishly wanted to keep them both for myself, but it would not be fair to them. I had to release one out into the world and keep the other one close to me. I now understand that while Raoul loved me, he did not need me, whereas Erik did.

Now, no matter what I seem to do, how many things I busy myself with, he is still always there. I constantly find myself wondering where he is and what he is doing. If he is eating right, for he never did unless I was around. Is that strange Persian man with him? I had come back the day before my wedding, as requested and against Raoul's wishes, to find his home deserted with no trace of where he could have gone. Raoul never knew I went back, and I held that secret close to me and I will never betray it. With Erik gone, that left no other choice for what I would have to do: marry Raoul. I knew there was no way I could make it alone in this world, and I doubted Raoul would easily let me go. Besides, I could not stand hurting both of them.

We were married as planned and took a short honeymoon in the country. Soon after arriving back and settling into a routine as a Victomess, I found out I was pregnant. It was just what I needed that time: something to distract me from all those regretful thoughts swirling uninvited in my head.

Raoul was curious around this time in the way he doted dutifully on me as if a servant rather than a husband. He feared leaving me for even the shortest amounts of time and did anything I asked, and beyond. I suspected it was because he did not want me to regret choosing him over Erik. He wanted me happy.

I feared that all the fondness and attention would leave as soon as I gave birth, but he was even more so after our daughter was born. She was a tiny thing, born a month early but still healthy. I remembered when I first held her in my arms, exhausted and ready to collapse, but I had to see her just one time before I slipped into peaceful slumber. Her face was pinched from the exertion of birth, but she was not a ruddy red like many of the newborn babies I had seen. She was perfectly fair-skinned with rosy red cheeks. She had mine and Raoul's light hair, plus my blue eyes. She was the most precious thing I had ever seen and she was immediately the center of my life.

Everything I did was for her, and I threw myself into making her happy. I refused to hire a wet nurse or a nanny the first few months, even though Raoul insisted upon it. He was afraid I was working myself too much, but although I found his concern endearing, I ignored his protests for some time. Eventually when she was three months old I hired a nanny, but I was still almost always with my daughter, who I had named Julian after my mother. I called her Julie.

But the distraction did not last long, and I again found myself thinking of the loss I had sustained and Raoul was constantly worried about me. I tried to assure him I was fine, that it was just the exertion of motherhood that was getting to me, but he did not believe me, though he would never say so out loud. I did my best to act happy and bright, which wore me down to an exhausted and fatigued level. Our physician put me on bed rest for a month, and I did not argue.

I had only been up and about for a week when I saw Meg, and I almost relapsed into the same habit as before. That night at dinner, Raoul asked about my day, and finally, sick of holding back, I opened up to him, if only slightly.

"I saw Meg in the market," I said quietly, pushing the food around on my plate. I found I was not too hungry these days, but I forced myself to eat for Raoul's sake. He was always worrying.

As I said this, he straightened for a moment, eyeing my warily across the table. "Did you talk to her?"

My eyes went downcast, and I sighed. "No. Well, I tried to, but she ignored me. I cannot say I blame her."

"Dearest, you have been through quite an event that concerned her, if only a little bit. Surely she would understand?" he asked.

I frowned down at my salad. "Perhaps she would, if I was ever given the chance to speak to her again."

These thoughts did not leave me over the course of the next few days, and it was only a week later that I found myself at her doorstep, one of my husband's calling cards in my hands. I knew I would not need it, but I brought it merely out of formality. I suppose it was not too hard to find out where they lived when I knew I truly wanted to see them. They lived only a few blocks from the opera house in a modest flat. I found that my hands were trembling before I even rallied the courage to knock.

When I finally did, I did so quietly, so quietly in fact, no one came to the door. I took a deep breath before driving my knuckles harder on the wood, and finally I heard someone stirring inside. I looked down, fiddling with the card in my hand as I waited. Soon, a familiar face filled the door, but she smiled at me, and placed her hand on my shoulder in the motherly tenderness I remembered so much.

"My dear, I am so glad you have come to see us. I knew it would not be much longer. Come," Madame Giry said, motioning me inside.

I did so cautiously, afraid Meg was going to pop out from behind a corner, point at me, and shout hurtful accusations at me. In fear of this happening, I questioned her mother of her whereabouts.

"Oh Christine—she had been married for six months now and is expecting a child. She has not lived with me since."

I leaned back in the chair I had just seated myself in and sucked in a deep breath! Married and expecting a baby! I suppose that would explain the extra weight I had seen on her the previous week. I suddenly felt hot shame for missing all these things in my friend's life.

"Who did she marry?" I questioned diplomatically.

"Oh, you remember that young boy, Simon, who would always come in and ask for work in exchange for seats at the opera? It seemed he had had his eye on Meg long ago, and was only around to see her. When the opera house was…no more," she said uncomfortably, "he found her and confessed his feelings since he had no other way of seeing her. They started a courtship soon after."

I did remember Simon. I remembered Meg whispering to me about how handsome and respectable he was and how she wished he would only look in her direction. I also remembered us giggling backstage when we saw him in the audience, and our gossip about the flowers he would send to Meg, and how for a very long time she thought he was doing it as some cruel joke. It seemed so long past. Could it truly have only been two years ago?

"I do remember him." I swallowed nervously. "I am glad she is happy. I saw her the other day and—"

Madame Giry laid a hand on mine to silence me. "I know. She told me, and I, for one, think she should have given you a chance to explain yourself instead of walking away. I expect no less from you this afternoon."

I knew she would ask. There was no other way. She would want to know why I avoided her and her daughter after I owed them so much. I could see what it looked like to them—a spoiled diva dropping all her friends the second a titled man whisked her away.

I found that tears were clouding my vision, and soon the whole story was coming out: about marrying Raoul and his wonderful attentiveness towards me, using my daughter as a distraction in life, it not working, all my tangled and confused thoughts about if I had made the right choice, and finally about wanting to see Erik again, just to see if he was happy, but I had no idea where he had gone to. I also feared that after what I had done he would never want to see me again.

The whole time I spoke, Madame Giry listened quietly. She did not interrupt to ask pointless questions, did not stroke my hair or hug me when I got emotional. She stood straight and foreboding, with her arms crossed at her chest. She looked every bit the strict ballet instructor she had once been.

When I was finished, she patted my hand softly and said, "I am sure Meg will understand if you simply explain."

Suddenly annoyed at her lack of understanding, I banged my fists into the chair cushion beside me. "But that's not all I care to fix!"

"Well, acting like a spoiled adolescent will not help," she reprimanded. "If you want to fix something, you will have to do it as Christine de Chagny, mother and wife, not as Christine Daaé, the child from the opera house."

I nodded my head in acceptance of her criticism, knowing she was right. "But how can I set this right?" I asked miserably. "How do I know if I made the right choice?"

"Don't you see?" she asked softly, kneeling to my level. "You would not have been happy either way. If you had ended up with Erik, you would have resented him from taking you from Raoul, just like you somewhat resent him from separating you and your Angel."

She had so eloquently put my feelings into words that I looked down, trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Then how do I know if I made the safest choice?" I countered, changing my earlier question around.

She sighed then, a long sigh from someone who had had a long and tedious life. "There was no safe choice, child, only two very different ones. Happily ever after does not exist for you or anyone else. You must understand that."

"I know, but when Raoul and I were reunited for the first time since we were children, I thought it could happen," I admitted shamefully.

"Yes, we all think that from time to time, but there is nothing you can do to render the decision you made. You can only fix it."

"But what if it cannot be fixed?"

"Then you must find a way to push on and live with it." She sighed, seeing the tears that were slowly falling down my cheeks. "But do not despair, I will help you in any way I can."

Suddenly, all my feelings that had been pushed away and ignored came flooding back with all the strength or a locomotive. The prospect of wanting to see Erik was overwhelming, and I straightened in my seat, looking Madame Giry seriously in the eye. "Well, there is one thing you can do…"

--

**Genny's Note: This took longer than expected to write, and it is also shorter. I started it this morning, and my COMPTUER RESTARTED AND IT DID NOT AUTOSAVE. So I lost the first three pages that had taken me so long to write and grasp, and I do not think my rewritten one does the first version justice. But there is nothing to be done. I figured you guys would want me to work on the next chapter anyways. I hope to have it up in the next few days. Thank you for all your support.**

**Next: Erik comes home to find Audrey missing.**


	19. Thoughs of Gray

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Nineteen: Thoughts of Gray  
By Genevieve Lee

--  
_"The nearer I approached to your habitation, the more deeply __... __did I feel the spirit of revenge enkindled in my heart."_

_Mary Shelley from _Frankenstein_.  
_--

_Erik._

As predicted, London did have a larger selection of the item I wanted to purchase, and it was of higher quality as well. I let them pack up what I had bought with strict instructions to deliver it to my home tonight, when I would be taking Audrey out to dinner. With her out of the house, I would then have the maid hide it in my office until it was time to give it to her. It was the first Christmas gift I had ever purchased and I found myself almost giddy with the knowledge of it. It did not matter that I was not getting any presents myself, but for once I was going to be able to celebrate the holiday with someone who somewhat cared about me.

My step was light as I returned to my carriage and instructed the driver to take me home. I was impatient to be there and to take Audrey out. We had had such a good morning; I thought perhaps the good feelings could continue throughout dinner. Besides, I had not taken Audrey out to dinner in quite some time.

It wasn't particularly my favorite activity, but I found if we went to a small café and I demanded the corner table, and I sat with my back facing everyone else, we did not receive too many stares. Besides, everyone was more interested in my money than my face.

I was soon back at home, and I walked inside, surprised to find I was slightly tired from the day's exertions. The maid greeted me timidly, taking my cloak and gloves before offering to bring me tea in the drawing room. The opportunity to sit for a moment was too much to turn away, and so I agreed. I sat in the drawing room with a sigh, and when the maid returned with the tea, I requested something else of her.

"Will you please bring my wife down here to take tea with me?" I asked, using my softest voice since she seemed a little more skittish than usual.

"Of course, sir," she said, before hurrying out.

I tapped a tune on my knee impatiently, pretending to hear the imaginary instrumentals in the background. The maid soon returned and offered me a few scones.

"No," I declined with a wave of my hand. "Is Audrey coming along?"

"Oh, I'm sure she'll be right down, sir," she said before serving me more tea and hurrying out.

Ten minutes later and I found myself still sitting alone. No doubt she was taking forever to pick out a dress or some other nonsense. I knew if I wanted to make sure we were out of the house when her gift arrived, we would have to leave soon. I stood up, intending on telling her so when the maid came bustling back in.

"Would you like more tea, sir?"

"No thank you," I replied brusquely. "What is taking Audrey so bloody long?"

"Well she—uh—well—are you sure you wouldn't like more tea? You must be cold from being outside all day. It looks about to snow!"

My eyes narrowed, and I finally picked up that something was not right. "Where is Audrey? I will tell her to hurry myself! We are going out to dinner," I said in the calmest voice I could muster.

But the maid, looking absolutely terrified, did not move out of my way. She took a deep breath before saying, "She's not currently home at the moment, sir."

Fury drove itself through my mind and I clenched my fists angrily. So, my little wife was trying to escape? Too bad she did not know that what was mine would always be mine. "Where did she go?" I growled.

"She went shopping, sir—for Christmas!"

"When?" I barked. "And where?"

"She left in the early afternoon, several hours ago, to the little village." She fixed her fearful eyes on me then. "She should have been home by now."

"Not if she wasn't intending on coming back. If she comes here while I am gone, make sure she does not leave." I grabbed my cloak off the hook and threw it on, not even bothering with my gloves. I then made my way to the front door, ready to order my carriage around as quickly as possible, when a knock sounded on the door before I could reach it. A few steps more brought me to it, and I opened the door, expecting to see my wife, and instead, I saw a constable.

He took off his cap; let his eyes linger on my mask for a moment before he bowed in greeting. "Are you Mister Destler?"

"I am," I said, my heart beginning to pound as I did.

"I am here to tell you, sir, that your wife is at the hospital on Newgate. She is safe, but you must come and collect her, for she is not allowed to be released without the presence of a family member."

Many questions struggled in my mind to be the first asked, but the first one settled itself rather quickly. "Why is she in the hospital?"

"She was out shopping, and was attacked by four men. She was very nearly raped, but she managed to get away before anything extensive happened. She is fine, except for a few minor injuries."

I closed my eyes, trying to channel the rage that was surging through me, hot and quick. "Who were the men, and did you arrest them?"

The young constable twirled his hat around his fingers then, looking shamefully down. I knew what his answer would be then, but I listened anyways.

"Unfortunately, I was the only one around when she ran up to me, and I figured she was to be given attention first, since I did not know the extent of her injuries. The men all ran before I could do anything."

I would find out who these men were, and I would deal with them accordingly, but first I would go to my wife. So disappointed, angry, and sick with worry, I got into the carriage and headed towards the hospital.

--

Upon arriving, I barged through the doors like a madman and went up to the first doctor I saw.

"Audrey Destler?" I questioned, and as it was a small hospital, recognition immediately registered into his eyes.

"Are you her husband?" I nodded my asset. "Please, follow me."

I did so, but asked, "What are her injuries?"

He gave a light sigh then, pushing the doors open and waiting until I was beside him before speaking. "Nothing too terrible. She went into shock, first of all, but we were able to stabilize it. It is obvious she is very traumatized from the experience. Besides a few scrapes and bruises, she will be fine. It would have been so much worse, Mister Destler. She could have lost her life if she had been unable to fight and get away."

I felt a small surge of pride that she had somehow fought and escaped from four men. I knew she was stubborn and a fighter, but this only proved it.

"I am merely curious though, why a woman of her station was alone, and without a driver." When I did not answer, he continued. "She also wanted to make sure this stayed with her, but I took it away in case it caused unnecessary memories. I thought it was best to turn it over to you." We had stopped at a small office, and he opened the door, and from within the room he produced an instrument case that he promptly set in my waiting arms. "Her room is there," he said pointing, "and when you are ready to leave, one of the nurses will bring a wheeled chair to take her out, but feel free to take your time."

I nodded, and waited until he walked away to open the case, though I already had my suspicions of what was inside. Atop the velvet lining sat the violin I had been observing in the music shop window the day before. Audrey must have left to get it for me for Christmas, and I felt my throat tighten at the contemplation. I closed the case without another thought about it, and walked slowly into Audrey's room.

She was sitting on the high bed, her legs dangling over the sides, but her back was to me. The first thing I noticed was that her feet were bare and wrapped in bandages. I wondered suddenly if the men had taken her stockings off. Her head was down, and her hair, which looked like it had once been wrapped in neat coils, was hanging limply down her shoulders and her back, a few array pins sticking out of it. Her dress was dirty and ripped in many places, and she had a blanket wrapped around her small shoulders. Her face looked dirty, but not bruised, though her wrists were. There were livid finger-shaped bruises all along them and that was the final thing that sent me into my uncontrollable anger.

I held back for a moment, afraid my temper would get the better of me. I wanted to grab her around the neck and shake her, and demand to know what she had been thinking in going out alone! I must have betrayed my presence somehow, perhaps in an angry sound or sigh, because she suddenly gasped and looked over her shoulder at me. For once, the spirit was gone from her eyes, washed away to wherever the rain takes things. They were, for lack of a better word, dead.

And for a moment, we both just stared at one another, neither of us speaking, almost as if we were measuring what almost happened and what that would have meant for both of us. But then my anger returned, and I could feel my features twist into emotion, and my fists clench at my sides to control the shaking my body had suddenly gone into.

Audrey must have noticed it too, because suddenly a little spark came into her eyes, and she held her head up higher, jerking her chin away from her chest, attempting to look strong, but she only looked frightened. It only took a moment to notice her lower lip was trembling before she said, "I'm so sorry," and then burst into noisy tears.

I set the violin case down, and took her in my arms. Although I didn't want it to, I knew my anger could wait. I was very flustered, and was unsure of what to do, and so I just stroked her hair softly and rubbed soothing circles in her back. Although this seemed to help, her crying did not cease for several long minutes, and when it did, she became still, but did not remove herself from my arms. But I couldn't wait any longer.

"What happened?" I demanded.

She sniffed slightly before pulling back, looking up at me with undisguised fear. "I left—to get you a Christmas present," she motioned to the violin case. "I was going to be back before you, but those men…the ones from the construction site yesterday, they bribed my driver to leave me, and when I left the shop…they cornered me and…"

"Did they…," I swallowed uncomfortably. "Did they soil you?"

She shook her head slowly. "No, I was able to get away before then. They would have though. They tried."

The fury returned, worse than I had ever felt it, worse than when I had found Christine on the roof with Raoul—ten times more powerful. "How did you manage to get away? The constable said there were four of them."

At this she gave a small watery smile. "Oh, I simply spooked them with a comment that you would be along any minute to meet me, and so two left to keep watch. When they became distracted when the constable started coming, I simply kicked them as hard as I could and ran."

I closed my eyes, trying to channel my anger towards the men that had attacked her and not at my wife. I subsided some of the anger, but I still could not contain myself from grabbing her upper arms and shaking her slightly.

"How could you be so stupid, Audrey? I almost lost you because of an imbecile reason! Do you know what I would do if I was forced to be alone again?" I shouted. "Do you?"

She did not try to pull or twist away, but took my criticism without fighting it. She let her head droop low, and she no longer looked at me, but she clutched the blanket closer to her. When I was done yelling, the only sound in the room was my ragged breathing and her small sniffles. Finally, she looked up at me, and with tears in her eyes said, "I'm sorry, so sorry. Can't we just go home now?"

My anger, which was slowly beginning to escalade, was beginning to alarm me, and I did not Audrey to see when it was at the point where it would not go back down again. So I nodded and left to find the doctor, but not before giving Audrey my coat and telling her to put it on. I found him, asked him if I was able to take her home, and after he said it was alright, he gave me a few more instructions.

"Let her take a hot bath when she gets home. It'll calm her down. And make sure she does not upset herself tonight. It is vital to keep the shock from coming back."

After thanking him and signing some papers, I went back to Audrey's room to find her standing on her tender feet, and wincing whenever she put weight on them. I came forward, and amidst her protests, picked her up gingerly in my arms, grabbed the violin case and let it dangle from two of my fingers, and left the room. I had only been walking a moment when Audrey quit trying to have me set her down. Either she knew it was pointless or she was just too tired. It was probably the latter, because she just laid her head on my chest and closed her eyes, truly exhausted.

When we were at the carriage, I set her down on the seat carefully and scooted in next to her. Once we were on our way home, I looked at her, and in a controlled voice asked, "What are your injuries?"

I knew the doctor had told me, but I wanted to know from her and how she acquired them. I had some sick want in my mind to know about everything that had happened. I wanted to fuel the anger.

Not looking at me, she said, "I have some scrapes on my legs, and my feet are raw from running barefoot. The scrapes are from when I tripped in my haste to get away. And then just the bruises on my wrists."

As she motioned to them, I took her hand gently in mine and traced the shapes of the bruises with my fingers, touching them so lightly I knew she felt no pain, and I saw her shudder at my touch. I released her hand and she curled it to her chest and pulled my jacket closed at the neck. It looked strange on her; entirely too large and masculine on her small frame. She fell asleep in under two minutes, and I let her, actually taking her and pulling her to my chest, just happy to have her safe in my arms. The prospect of losing her had made me braver in my movements towards her.

Asleep, the jacket slipped from her shoulders slightly, and I saw the front of her dress was ripped quite noticeably, and I could see her corset poking from the top. I let at a low growl, and pulled the jacket over her again before looking out the widow, thinking.

It only took us twenty minutes to arrive back at the house, and when we had done so, I was fully enveloped in my thoughts of revenge and death. That was what happened when I was left alone with my mind and simmering anger. I didn't speak, but only gently picked up Audrey who barley stirred in my embrace.

I took her up to her bathroom and instructed the maid to follow me. I then gave her strict directions to give Audrey a hot bath as the doctor instructed, and then only let her eat broth and toast for dinner. She was not to walk anywhere but from the bathroom to her bed, and after eating she was immediately to go to bed.

As I turned to leave, Audrey reached out and clutched my shirt. Although her grip was not enough to stop me, I did anyways and turned to her.

"I'm sorry Erik. Can I just have a moment to explain myself?"

I bent down to her level, where she was sitting on a marble counter. "Tomorrow, there's always tomorrow. For tonight, just rest."

"Where are you going?"

"I need to speak with Nadir," I said, knowing it to be true. When she nodded her understanding, I turned on my heel a left, ready for a talk with my conscience.

--

Nadir answered the door sleep rumpled and weary. I did not wait for invitation to come inside, but walked in without and word. I heard him sigh and shut the door.

"Erik, you know you are always welcome, but I am leaving early tomorrow and would appreciate some time to sleep."

I closed my eyes, trying to contain my rage. Feeling my power slipping, I poured myself some of the spirits he had sitting out and downed the entire cup on one drink without wincing before saying, "If I do not talk to you right now, four people will die tonight."

This, of course, immediately caught his attention, but he remained deathly silent behind me. The only sound in the room was of his grandfather clock ticking, and I tried to concentrate on that, counting sixteen ticks before he finally spoke.

"What is this about, Erik?"

I tentatively licked my lips, collapsing into a chair before I began my story. I told him what had happened the day before when we were out shopping and what it had resulted in tonight. "Ideally, I would like to end their lives. No one touches what is mine and gets away with it," I growled, and continued before saying, "but I made a promise to you in Persia…and I am trying very, _very_ hard to keep that promise right now. It took all my power to come here first instead of going out and simply finding them. It would not have been hard. No one can hide from me," I said matter-of-factly.

Nadir was quiet for a moment before he responded. "You made the right decision in coming here. Their deaths would not be justified on anything but revenge." He laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. "At least Audrey is safe. That is the most important thing."

Although I agreed with him, my hunt for vengeance was so strong I could taste it, icy and powerful, on my tongue. I slammed my hand down on the table beside me and stood abruptly. "That is not enough! They cannot simply roam the streets after what they have done. Something must be done."

Nadir eyed me evenly, waiting until my ragged breathing became steady again, and then he motioned for me to sit. When I did not he said, "We will get nowhere if you let your temper best you. Sit, Erik."

I grudgingly did so, clenching and unclenching my fists in a fight for control. Finally, in a tight voice, I said, "What do you suggest?"

Reflecting for a moment, he looked away from me and out the window. Several minutes passed, one hundred and eighty-seven ticks on the clock, before he finally turned back to me. "I would say, since you know who these men are, you could work on the case closely with the constables, but I do not know if you could be trusted that close with them." I ungenerously agreed. "Perhaps, though," he said thoughtfully, almost dreamily, "they would have a use for the old Daroga of Persia, who is in close contact with the victim and her husband?"

I mulled over that for a second of time. I knew the case would get more attention if Nadir was helping with it, and he had been a very talented Daroga back in his home country and with me helping on the sidelines, we could quite possibly catch them very soon. I would not have to kill them, but they would face the British law.

"It is a very…promising idea, Nadir. But, if they are not caught soon, I will go after them myself. They will not be allowed to wander around for long."

"We will catch them, Erik. You do not have to worry on that account. I'm sure we can find the name of the construction company building that shop, and investigate their employers. It will not take long to find them. Now," he said, sitting in the chair across from me and fixing me with his steely gaze, "go home to your wife, Erik. I will come over tomorrow and we can explain details."

I rubbed the back of my neck, and said, "About the holiday you were going to take tomorrow," I began guiltily, before he cut me off with a wave of his hand.

"It can wait. I can do it after Christmas."

I nodded before saying, "I will pay for you to go wherever you want when this is all over." I stood and collected my things. At the door I clasped Nadir's shoulder and said, "Thank you very much, old friend."

Nadir nodded, and pushed me out the door with, "Off with you! Audrey needs you tonight, Erik. I can bet she is not sleeping well this eve."

I agreed with him, and hurriedly made my way down the steps of his flat and to my carriage, telling my driver to take me home, and with haste.

--

**Genny's Note: Hope you enjoyed this and will review more than you did for the last chapter. I guess I made you all mad with my cliffhanger, but I tried to make it up to you!**


	20. Arms Like Towers

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty: Arms Like Towers  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_Keep me safe inside  
Your arms like towers  
Tower over me  
Tower over me  
...and I'll take the truth at any cost._

_-Paramore, _We Are Broken_._

--

Was it possible that shadows had shadows? That darkness could produce even more darkness, so much so that I could see nothing in front of me?

It seemed so, and the cavernous room also appeared to be swallowing all the familiar things that used to surround me. All that was left was the dark gloom that covered every surface like a coat of dust that the servants had forgotten about.

But for now, it seemed I was the one everyone had forgotten about. The maid, after leaving me to sleep, had gone straight to bed herself. And Erik, who had said he was going to Nadir's house, had been gone for several hours now. Somehow, I did not think that was where he really had gone to. As I had gotten to know him better, I had learned his moods and his expressions, what I could see of them from the mask, and tonight, there was no mistaking the murder I had seen in his eyes. He was undoubtedly out for blood, and that's what worried me.

I was also a little offended that he had left me, all alone, after such an experience. Even now, hours later, I lay in bed by myself, wide awake, and scared out of my wits.

Every sound was amplified in my ears. Each creak the house sounded like someone breaking in, and the wind howling sounded like someone whispering in my ear. At that moment, the wind picked up; making a tree branch Erik had talked about trimming sometime soon, scratch against my window.

I clutched the blankets tighter to me, pulling them over my head, and squeezing my eyes closed. I was afraid to move a fraction of an inch, afraid that whoever I was sure was coming for me would find me that much faster.

I pulled my legs towards my body, curling my toes and ignoring the stinging that resulted in the movement.

I just wished Erik was home. Even if he was downstairs in his office working I would have felt better. But here, all alone in my bedroom, I did not feel safe or protected. I also had no idea where Erik was, and that worried me. I didn't know when he would be back, or the things he had done when he was gone.

And the fact the men who had attacked me had not been caught scared me immensely. What if they had found out who I was, and where I lived? I may have gotten away once, but getting away a second time was a slim chance.

I licked my chapped lips, trying to anchor myself on a cheerful thought, but was finding the task quite daunting. It took several moments, but finally I found myself recalling the breakfast Erik and I had made together only earlier that morning. It seemed so long ago, rather than a mere few hours.

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up, and the feeling of being watched settled intensely over my body like a soft fog enveloping me in its cool embrace. I opened my eyes immediately, and looked around my room with feverish eyes. Only the darkness I had been accustomed to in the past two hours greeted me, and I huffed a breath of relief, closing them again. It only took a moment for a crash to echo throughout the room and for my eyes to fly open in a panic. I sat up, prepared to fight my intruder off with a lamp or whatever my hands could grab, but I was met with the sight of Erik, standing near my door, the same lamp I had knocked down the night before on the floor where he stood.

"Erik," I breathed, collapsing into the pillows around me, "you startled me."

He bent down gracefully, the cloak he still wore billowing on the floor around him like the wings of some dark beast, and picked up the overturned lamp and replaced it on the table from which it had fallen from.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were sleeping," he said as he stood to his elevated full height.

"I have been unable to sleep," I replied as I sat up slowly, wincing as a part of my scraped calf chaffed against the bandages.

Erik watched me for a moment, as if making a tremendous decision before he walked slowly over to the side of my bed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, laying his hand on my forehead, of which I quickly shook off.

"I am fine. Sleep just does not seem to be in good company with me tonight," I said, unwilling to admit I had been terrified out of my mind because he was gone.

He pursed his thin and mangled lips, before he hesitantly laid his hand on my head, but this time stroking my hair gently. I sighed and closed my eyes, enjoying his touch.

I didn't let myself take pleasure in it for long, though, because there was something I wanted to say to him before he went running off again.

"Erik," I began, "about tonight…" I trailed off, unable to see where I should begin. My thoughts were so tangled and awry in my own mind that it was difficult to straighten it out enough to put into words.

"Audrey, you need your rest. We can talk tomorrow," my husband said before I could begin. And he sounded quite tired himself. Again, I had selfishly not thought about what the day had done to him, and so I nodded, defeated, and lay back against the pillow.

"But, I should let you sleep, my dear. I will see you in the morning."

Panic strangled itself in my chest at the thought of being alone in the looming and dark room again, and before I could think about my actions, I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me, hearing his steps stagger in result to the rash movement.

"Wait! I—um…" I hesitated, wondering how I could say I did not want him to leave without giving away my weakness. My mind raced for several long and quiet seconds before I admitted defeat. "I don't want to be alone," I whispered, ashamed at my own cowardly disposition.

Several awkward moments followed while I stared at Erik, my eyes wide and bearing as I waited for him to speak. Finally, he did, and his words brought me immense relief.

"I suppose I could just…" He motioned towards the chair at my bedside before angling himself towards it, but I was not completely satisfied.

"No! Just…just lay here with me," I pleaded, scooting over and, his hand still in mine, pulling him down to lie beside me.

Inelegantly, he obeyed, lying down as if the bed were made of needles. I kept his hand in mine; finally understanding it was the thing that was going to anchor me, and not some distant thought that no longer mattered.

I closed my eyes then, feeling completely vulnerable and foolish. I encased his hand in both of my own, clutching it to my chest, finally feeling at peace.

"Thank you," I breathed, deciding it was enough to account for everything that day.

A quiet minute passed, and in that minute I began drifting off to sleep, until Erik gently said, "You're welcome."

The words exchanged summed it all up, and finding no other reason for speaking, I tightened my hand on his own and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

--

I awoke the next morning feeling marginally better, but still very sore. I wasn't quite ready to face the morning, and so I let my eyes remain closed. I allowed my toes to explore the sheets that had been warmed by my body throughout the night and, upon not feeling anyone next to me, found that I was alone. I had expected it, really. I was surprised I had gotten Erik to stay with me at all, and so waking up by myself was hardly any shock.

A moment later, I finally opened up my eyes and found I was _not_ alone, but that Echo lay stretched out beside me in the space Erik had vacated.

"Good morning, princess," I cooed, only to have her mew in reply. Though much larger than she had been when I first had received her, she still had many kitten qualities. I stroked her fur softly and mechanically, letting it sprout up in-between my fingers while she purred contently.

My room seemed harmless and familiar in the bright sunlight of the morning, and I felt quite silly for how terrified I had been of it only hours earlier. I also felt embarrassed for how I had made Erik stay with me, like a child who had nightmares and sought comfort from their mother. He probably thought me a fool, since nothing terrible really did happen to me, only a few scrapes and bruises that would be healed with no problems.

Not able to be left alone with my thoughts for long, the maid came in, fresh dressing and ointments in her hands, saying Erik had sent her to change the bandages on my feet and legs. I held back a groan and let her do her job, surprised at how raw all the scrapes looked in the harsh morning light. The ointment burned slightly and tingled, but I knew it was to be expected so I did not protest.

Once she was finished, the bandages felt too tight and my cuts felt itchy, and I shifted on my bed in discomfort. I could actually use a little more sleep, and was planning on doing so until she said, "Your husband has requested you see him in his study."

"Right now?" I asked.

"Yes, miss. He says he has something he wants to discuss with you."

I groaned, knowing exactly what it was he wanted to talk to me about. I knew that I would not be able to slip by the trouble I was going to be in. I began to get off the bed, apprehensive about putting weight on my feet.

"And also, Mrs. Destler, Erik told me to make sure you knew this was here." And from within the depths of my closet she produced the violin case.

I gulped, and gestured for her to hand it to me, which she promptly did. I laid it on my bed, smoothing my hands over the scuffed surface of the case before opening it. I was sure that something must have happened to it; it had to have broken, or ripped, or been scuffed. Part of me expected it not to be in there at all, but amongst the velvet it sat, completely and utterly unharmed. The padding and casing within had protected it. At least not everything I had done yesterday had been in vain.

"Will you need help dressing, miss?"

I cleared my throat, wiping away the tears that had fallen unexpectedly. "No, thank you. That will be all."

Nodding, she left me alone, and I took a moment to collect myself before standing gingerly, and replacing the case in my closet. I then dressed, putting on a black high-waist skirt that gave me a wasp-thin appearance, and tucking a white blouse into it. It was one of my plainer ones that had only a little lace at the collar, but I did not feel like dressing up today. I even passed up my stockings, knowing they would make my bandaged feet and legs more uncomfortable than they already were.

I then attacked my hair, which had dried at odd angles since sleeping on it. I simply brushed it out, and pulled its lengths into a twist that I pinned at the nape of my neck.

Announcing myself decent, I walked from my room and ascended down the stairs slowly, trying to ignore the pain I felt on the bottom of my feet.

I soon was at Erik's study door, and I hesitated outside of it. I did not want to go in there, and face what I knew would be a verbal lashing on my part. But I knew I would have to face him sooner or later, and dawdling outside his door wasn't going to make it go away. I lifted my hand to knock, but was surprised when I heard Erik's voice from inside before I was able.

"Come in, Audrey."

I let my hand fall back to my side, my knuckles aching for the contact of the door that had never come. I took a deep breath, straightened my spine, and entered.

Erik sat at his desk at the back of the room, but seemingly was not working on anything. There were papers in front of him, stacked neatly, but none of which I could see had been preoccupying him before my entrance. He looked rumpled and tired; he still wore his black pants and white shirt from the night before. His cloak and jacket had been lost though, and the shirt was wrinkled and partly untucked. His hair was not the usual neatness I was used to. The only part of him that looked the same was the mask, which was perched perfectly upon his face as it always was.

He motioned for me to sit, of which I did quickly. He remained silent for several moments, looking aimlessly about the room before saying, "How are you feeling this morning, Audrey?"

"I am feeling much better now, thank you," I replied timidly, afraid to tell him I felt terrible, that I ached and was tired.

He nodded slowly, seemingly satisfied with my answer. "Now that that is over with," he said quietly, almost too low for me to hear. His hands were abruptly on the desk, clenched together in some odd restraint of self control.

I furrowed my eyebrows at this, and began questioning him. "Erik, what—"

His fists slammed down on the desk, signaling the end of any sort of power he had left over his emotions. I had the sudden urge to leap from the chair and put it between us, but I was frozen in terror.

"How could you have done such a stupid thing?" he demanded, looking at me harshly. Normally, such a question would not get an answer, for no suitable one existed, but the way he looked at me told me he expected one.

"I just wanted to get you a Christmas gift," I stated lamely, unable to look him in the eye.

I had been right the previous moment about there being no fitting response, for this did not please him in the slightest.

"And you could not have done it a better way? You could have gotten Nadir to fetch it, or had me take you! I would not have looked if you had asked. If you insisted on going somewhere alone you could have at least gone to London, where the streets are more populated. But no, you had to do the most dangerous thing, didn't you? If you were going to defy me, you had to go all out by visiting a shop on a nearly deserted street, where we had made enemies only the day before!"

I did not want to cry at the sermon that I undoubtedly deserved, but it seemed impossible, and tears rose in my eyes almost immediately. I collected them with my fingertips before they could spill and cast the ruddy red color to my cheeks.

As he spoke about what I had done, I realized how completely and utterly unintelligent I had been in the whole thing. I was hoping it was over with, that I could apologize and flee to my room, but Erik looked far from done.

"Stupid, ignorant girl!" he raved. "If anything worse would have happened to you, those men would all be dead in some alleyway! If it weren't for Nadir, they already would be. How bloody dim-witted do you have to be to commit such a farce?"

"Erik…"

"If anything, I could have waited in the carriage for you! Now I can never trust to leave you alone again. Will I have to get a governess for you, my dear girl, like some idiotic child that cannot be left to her own devices? I would like to be able to go out for a few hours and not have to worry about my wife running amok and possibly getting raped! How incredibly lucky you are that it did not happen, or even something worse! You could have died! Do you hear me? You could have _left me alone again_."

The silence was awesome following his tirade, and the only sounds in the room were his insane breathing and the small sobs I was trying to muffle into my hands. I clenched my teeth, trying to hold them in, but it was of no use. Finally, after an exaggerated moment, I managed to control myself enough to look up and speak.

"Erik, I am so extremely sorry. I never meant for anything like that to happen." My voice broke twice, but I pushed on. "I just wanted to get you a Christmas present, and I know I should have thought it through more thoroughly. But I did not, and I cannot take it back."

I stood then, wanting to end my humiliation, for the compressed sobs and hiccups had not lessened in any fashion. I wanted to escape to my room and look at the violin again, my one and only triumph in all of this. I turned to leave, my hand already reaching for the doorknob when Erik spoke again.

"Audrey." His voice was no longer harsh or commanding, nor questioning, and when I turned to look at him, he was standing beside his desk with his arms held open. I ran across the room to him without indecision, crushing myself to his chest where he allowed me to cry, all the while, not saying a word. But his strong arms around me said enough.

--

**Genny's Note: I contemplated whether or not Audrey would cry during their little talk, and I decided that if I had been attacked and nearly raped the day before, and Erik was yelling at me for how stupid I was, heck yeah I'd cry!**

**Also, as a terrible side note, some unforeseen circumstances have arisen and I will be unable to update for the next three weeks or so. I have some family concerns that have occurred these past few days, and it will be taking up much of my time. I will also be in Colorado for the next two weeks with my bestfriendbeta. She can help me outline the next several chapters while we are there, as I have come to the end of my planned chapters. I know where I need to go; I just need to get there.**

**So ending with the usual: please review. I will have no internet for the next two weeks, but I will be looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you for being patient, my wonderful reviewers, and stay safe for the rest of this summer.**


	21. Evergrowing

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty-one: Ever-growing  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_True love doesn't happen right away; it's an ever-growing process. It develops after you've gone through many ups and downs, when you've suffered together, cried together, laughed together."_

-Ricardo Montalban

--

_Audrey._

With every strike of lightning comes a memory that lasts.

Unfortunately for me, the memories in which I recalled were not pleasant. I had always hated lightning and thunder. The rain did not bother me and a good thing too, since it never bloody stopped in England, but ever since I was a child the monstrous storms scared me half to death.

I believe I had been ten when Jacky and I were out in the woods behind our house, playing for the few precious moments we had outsmarted our governess and gotten away. We were having such blissful fun that we had not noticed that the wind had picked up, or that dark clouds coated the sky that had, moment ago, been sky blue.

The first crash of thunder had sent my sister running for the safety of the house, leaving me hiding whilst I waited for her to find me, unaware I was now alone in the forest.

The storm had steadily grown worse, but I remained in my spot, determined to win the game, but sportingly soon decided it was time to go find my sister and get inside before the rain started, but as soon as I stood, it began pouring down it hard sheets.

I was lost in the woods for an hour, crying and screaming for Jacky and walking circles around the trees that all looked the same. I was terrified for my sister, not knowing she was safely in the house, but also for myself, for my mother was going to be absolutely _furious_ when she found out what we had been up to—and worse, that I had lost my sister.

It was the stable boy, the same one who Jacky would fall in love and run away with five years later, that found me. Apparently he had seen both Jacky and I run out, but only my sister return, and he had come looking for me. At sixteen, he was tall and strong, and he picked me up easily and carried me back to the house where my mother waited, completely shaken, for my return. After that, I harbored a little crush on him, but soon resented him for taking my sister from me.

I still did, somewhat, but was also grateful at him for saving her from the life I had at one time wanted so much. It was not the world for Jacqueline, and I was slowly learning it may not be the world for me either.

But ever since then, I had detested thunderstorms, and the fear I had had that afternoon, running around without anyone around to help me, always returned in full force when one happened. It also was not helping that memories from the days previous were circling in my mind. I knew Erik was downstairs in his study, reading, or something, but it was not close enough for my liking. I recalled the night before with longing; how it felt good just to have someone lie beside me and tell me I was safe. I longed for that again, and found myself instantly awake and staring into the darkness.

I knew I would not be able to sleep until this need was satisfied.

The scratching of something on the window spurred me from my bed, and I was flying noisily down the hall, and then down the stairs to Erik's study, where I tried the door instantly, and found to my dismay it was locked.

"Erik?" I asked, glancing nervously over my shoulder.

I heard much fumbling and shuffling inside; drawers were closed loudly and then his footsteps signaled his arrival to the door. After unlocking it, I was greeted with his face poking through the crack, his body blocking any view of the room.

"Yes?" he asked, looking frazzled.

"I can't sleep," I replied simply, hoping he would get my message so I would not have to ask him to come to my room like a child. I wanted him to _offer_.

Erik gave a deep sigh, and said, "Are you having nightmares?"

"No," I instantly defended, before amending with, "Well…maybe."

"I'll be right up," he said, much to my satisfaction, but he still seemed disheveled and I want to know why.

I tried to crane my neck around his face in order to see inside the room. "What are you doing in there, anyways?"

The door was immediately closed tighter, so that I saw only half of Erik's face now, and this only aroused my suspicions.

"Nothing," he said gruffly. "Go to your room and I will be along momentarily."

"Wait, what's—"

I was greeted with the door in my face, and I heard the lock turn. I narrowed my eyes at it, wanting very much to know what was going on in there, but did not wish to heighten any sort of anger from him tonight. After our "talk" this morning, I noticed he had been temperamental; more prone to snapping at me for no given reason or brooding into the distance. I had questioned him, and he had said he simply had a lot on his mind, mostly being the men that had attacked me. I did not push it from there, not wanting to irritate him even further, and I did the same thing now, letting it drop and returning to my room as he asked.

Upon entering it, I looked warily at my window, wondering if the scratching would continue, and if I should tell Erik about it. This is how he found me: standing in the center of my bedroom with my eyes locked upon the rain-streaked window. At that precise moment, the scraping sound happened again, and I jumped slightly, angling myself unconsciously towards Erik.

"It's just the tree scratching on the window, my dear. I will have to hire someone to trim it, so it does not fall through your window during a larger storm."

My eyes widened at this.

"Thank you, Erik. Another worry: trees that will impale my bedroom," I could not help but reply, unable to take my eyes from the window.

He gave a small closed-mouth smile at this before saying, "Just lay down."

I did so, becoming comfortable at once, and signaled I wanted him to lay beside me by leaving a large space for him. I was already beginning to fall asleep when my hand touched the other side of the bed and I said, "Here."

The bed was plenty big to house both of us comfortably, and with extra room for a third person in-between. Unlike the night before, I did not take his hand or cuddle next to him, but was simply satisfied at having him in the same room.

"Swear you won't leave," I slurred as I struggled to keep my eyes open.

"I won't."

"No…_swear_ you won't."

"Christ Audrey! Do you want me to take a blood oath?"

"Swear," I repeated.

A sigh. "I swear."

I wasn't sure if he had said it or not, because I was finally asleep.

_--_

A strike of lightning woke me hours later, and I jumped, startled. My eyes instantaneously went to where Erik was, or _had_ been, I realized moments later. I reached out for him, thinking that perhaps the darkness had disturbed my sight, but my hand was met with nothing but sheets. Cold sheets. He had been gone for a while.

The first thing I felt was frightful abandonment, and then a childish, yet uncontrollable, anger. He had promised not to leave, yet he was not here! The only evidence that someone had been there were the rumpled sheets he had left behind.

I kicked my blankets off, having a little trouble as they had entangled me as I had slept, but I finally stepped away from my bed, and then from my room. I walked down the long hallway to Erik's bedroom and entered it without hesitation. The anger had made me brave. I crept to the side of it, seeing that he was, indeed, asleep. And even more shocking, his mask was off! But he lay on his stomach, with the right side pressed against the pillow, and so everything was concealed.

At that precise moment, lightning struck bright, and loud thunder followed, causing Erik to frighten awake, much like I had done only a moment before. But darkness fell again, and as he sat up, I saw nothing but shadows until he grabbed his mask and replaced it onto his face.

"Audrey! What the _hell—_"

"You _promised,_" I abashed.

"Well I…you were—"

"You promised me you would not leave and you _did!_" I said, mortified at the truth of it.

He began pulling the covers back and sitting up. "Here, I'll walk you back to your room," he said in an attempt to appease me.

"No," I said, shaking my head, and wondering at the same time what had gotten into me. "I want to sleep with you."

"But the storm is practically over—"

"I want to stay here," I growled slowly through clenched teeth.

There was silence after as he just stared at me, and I tried to catch my breath, for the fury had knocked it out of me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he said, "Very well," and he scooted over to the edge and held the blankets up for me.

I got in without indecision, snuggling into the velvet coverlets that clung to my skin and made it feel soft as silk. I felt Erik finally lay down beside me, felt the weight of the mattress sink, and then I heard nothing but our breathing.

I slept undisturbed.

--

The next morning Erik and I sat at breakfast, which was of bacon, toast, and some eggs and biscuits. It was a quiet affair due to the fact that I was slightly embarrassed by the way I had acted the night before. I had been more like his daughter than his wife, but neither of us mentioned it. When I had awoken that morning, he was still beside me, having learned better when he had left before. After wishing each other a good morning, I had gone back to my room to wash and dress, and now we both were seated at the table.

After a few more minutes of silence, Erik cleared his throat and said, "Today we are going to have some company."

I cocked my head slightly, as this was news to me. "Oh?" I asked.

"Yes. Someone close in the police and Nadir are coming over, and I believe his wife is joining him."

"Why?"

"Well Nadir offered to help me catch your attackers, being the old chief of police in Persia," he responded.

"I thought he was going on that trip?" I questioned, knowing that it had been the reason I had gone to get his gift myself rather than having him do it.

"He postponed it for us. I told him I would pay for it when he decided to go on it again."

I gave a light nod, deciding this made sense before returning to my food, though only picking at it. I hadn't been too hungry the past few days, but Erik did not seem to notice my lack of appetite, for he didn't seem to have one either. And so for the rest of breakfast we ate (or rather, did not) in compatible silence.

Once we finished, he told me to go upstairs and dress, which I promptly did. It was the first time we were having guests in our home besides my family or Nadir, and so I took care doing so. Usually when I was trying to impress someone I wore the bold color of scarlet, but I didn't feel like wearing such a color today. Instead, I pulled on a dark blue dress that had darker embroidery flowers on the waist and up the bodice. The neckline was square and simple, with a little lace poking from the top, and the skirt was plain and did not fall elaborately to the floor.

The maid did my hair, pulling it into a chignon that was held into place with a sapphire brooch that my mother had given me for my sixteenth birthday.

My legs still felt tight and uncomfortable, as my bandages were changed often, but I had to admit they were already starting to look better. The shallow scrapes on my feet hardly hurt anymore, but the marks on my wrists were still livid. That is why the gown I had chosen was long-sleeved, and would not look out of place in the cool weather outside.

Soon enough, I heard a knock on the door and I knew our guests were here. I sighed and walked out of my room where Erik stood waiting. Knowing my legs still did not feel improved, he took my arm and assisted me down the stairs, where our maid informed us that she had showed our guests to the drawing room, and she would be in soon with tea and scones.

After thanking her, we both made our way there to greet our guests. I saw Nadir first, who embraced me and kissed my check, of which I returned, before I turned to introduce myself to the couple seated across the room.

But instead of a cordial greeting, the word, "You!" escaped from my mouth as I gaped at the woman sitting.

Who I was referring to was the woman who was sitting in my drawing room, completely at home, as if the incident at my engagement ball did not happen.

The woman I am speaking of is Carmen Montague, Comtess.

"Audrey," Erik said in a strained voice, "may I introduce you to the Comte and Comtess Montague? The Comte will be helping on the case, as he has wonderful connections with the police force."

"Charmed," I said, holding out my hand and still trying to get over my shock.

After sitting down and being served tea and biscuits, the men began talking immediately of something that did not hold my interest, but I found myself surprised at how well Erik was speaking with the Comte Montague, and I was grateful for Nadir who seemed to be filling in any awkward silences. But it only took a moment for my attention to be placed elsewhere.

"So Mrs. Destler, do forgive me for asking, but last time we spoke you were the soon-to-be Mrs. Hollingsworth. Whatever happened?"

I pursed my lips and took a sip of the too-hot tea. It was completely improper of her to ask, but she seemed as if she either did not care or she did not know otherwise. Her expression could have accounted for both.

"Dear," her dark-haired husband glanced over with slight concern, "remember what we spoke about…hmm?"

"Right, strange customs," she murmured to the brim of her tea cup with a foreign accent.

That's when I recalled she was from Spain, and may not know the customs of a London tea room. It made me glad I was not the only one who noticed her inapt prying.

"No, it's quite fine," I hastened to reassure the Comte, waiting until he turned back to Nadir and Erik before speaking again. "Well…," I began hesitantly, "it did not work out between myself and Mr. Hollingsworth, and I soon became Mrs. Destler."

"I see," she said, and took a quick sip of tea. "How is it you weren't around last Season? I was sure I was going to see you."

"My husband does not care too much for the scene of the Season, and I find myself that I have begun to agree," I said, surprising myself that what I said was true.

Her eyebrows rose then, as she evaluated me curiously. "Shocking! I always thought you were such a society girl."

I bawled for a moment, and then settled back down. She was not insulting me, for what she said was true. I had dearly once loved that part of my life, but it had all changed once I married Erik. Yes, I sometimes did miss the company of a large crowd, but I did not miss how I used to have to smile when I wanted to frown, or embrace someone who deserved a smart smack to their face. I did not like faking who I was, and I found that the more I was with Erik, the more I was able to discover who I was. Unlike many husbands, he let me do so.

And so I shrugged before saying, "People just change, I guess."

At that statement, Erik looked at me, and when our eyes met, I could not help but smile. Out of everyone, he knew how many alterations I had gone through.

He smiled tentatively back before returning his attention to Mr. Montague and Nadir.

"I can see that," Carmen replied, though not cruelly, before saying timidly, "You seem very different indeed."

I wanted to respond that she seemed different as well, but decided against it, least I seem too forward in my judgments. Although I felt she had changed too, I could not help but thinking perhaps I was the one who had transformed, and so others simply seemed different to me. Had I thought this woman so terrible before? Was it my own ugly personality that had brought out the bitterness in her own? Perhaps.

Probably.

"If you two ladies will excuse us, we will need to go to another room and discuss some business. Will you be alright, darling?"

"Oh, quite," Carmen responded to her husband. "Mrs. Destler and I have much catching up to do!"

After the reassurance, all three men stood, and Carmen's husband gave her a departing kiss on the hand, while Erik, seemingly without thinking about it, bent down and kissed my forehead gently before they all departed.

Shocked at the casual contact, and in front of guests, I stared off after him in awe, only looking away when the door closed behind them.

"You two are simply adorable!" Mrs. Montague exclaimed a moment later, clapping her hands together.

I looked dumbly over at her, my mouth agape, before saying, "What?"

She cocked her head at me, probably wondering how stupid I was. "Well it is just obvious you are in love, and I—"

"In love? Erik and I?"

"Well, yes," she continued, less sure of herself now, but continuing anyways. "The way you just look at one another and grin, and how you simply could_ not_ stop smiling just now when he kissed you! And the way he was staring at you. My dear, your relationship is quite obvious to anyone who is watching."

What on Earth was she talking about? Erik and I in love? That was…

"Utterly absurd! We are not in love," I argued.

"Is that the reason you did not marry Mr. Hollingsworth? Because you found Mr. Destler?"

Yet another inappropriate and prying question to ask in polite company, but I answered it anyways. "No, it is not. It was arranged by my parents," I said. "And we are _not _in love."

Carmen stopped her ranting for a moment, just long enough to evaluate me smoothly, before shrugging and saying, "If that is what you believe."

"It is," I responded dryly, but at the same time wondering if there was any truth in the words she spoke.

_Hardly_, I sniffed. _There is no way Erik and I could ever fall in love. We are too different and too bitter._

Right? _Right?_

I frowned and took a biscuit from the platter and took an ungracious, and unladylike, bite.

--

**Genny's Note: I came in from Colorado at six this morning. It is one long drive! The trip was fantastic, and just what I needed! I wrote three chapters while there, though not in order. I wrote this one, chapter twenty-five, and one that is so far in I don't even have a number for it.**

**I hope you guys had a good two weeks and like this chapter. I thought it was funny(:**

**A little side thing: my mother was upset with me because I used my last fifty dollars of grad money to buy a new hardcover copy of Susan Kay's _Phantom_ because mine is falling apart. Anyone else think I made the right decision?**

**Review, please!  
**


	22. Decorations and Discussions

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty-two: Decorations and Discussions  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a __growing__ up."_

-James Arthur Baldwin

--

_Erik._

Although I was not tired in the slightest, I had been sleeping too much lately; I closed my eyes and attempted to slip into unconsciousness. I was used to sleeping only a few hours a night, four at the most, and so my extended sleeping patterns had been throwing me off, and I had had less time for doing the things I normally did. My body may have wanted me to get up and go do something productive, but my mind would not allow it, as my wife was sound asleep beside me.

The past five nights she had been in my room with me, and now did so with almost long familiarity.

The first night had been during that terrible rain storm, and she had given me no ultimatum, not that I would have taken it anyways. But the second night she had come timidly in my room, so quietly I almost did not hear her approach, but when I turned around to see what she wanted, she looked almost embarrassed before saying, "Do you mind?" I had told her I did not, even though I had been about to go downstairs to work on her Christmas gift, and she had climbed tentatively under the covers beside me and slept. The following three nights she had simply come in like she had done so every night of our marriage, and I did not protest.

It was a strange, yet wonderful, feeling to share my bed with someone. Although no intimacies took place, it felt oddly comforting to know another person was asleep beside me. My entire life I had been taught, or shown, to believe that I was not human, and that I did not deserve simple human luxuries like companionship or even common courtesy. Although I knew that, contrary to the belief of almost everyone I came into contact with, I did, indeed, have feelings like any other person, it did not matter to anyone else. It was bizarre for all my life experiences to be contradicted by Audrey every night.

The only downside to this was night was usually the time I worked on things I would not ordinarily be able to work on during the day due to the attention Audrey required, but I found I could not tear myself away from my bed. Christmas was only a week and a half away, and so I did not have much time to work on her gift.

She had come close to walking in on me working on it the first night she had demanded I stay with her in her room, and it scared me half to death. Not only did I want the gift to be a surprise, I wanted it to be absolutely perfect which required much of my time. The following day I had scheduled a day out for Audrey and Rachel so I could have the entire day to myself, although I was loathe to part with the wife who had been getting along so well with me as of late, though I did not want to jinx anything.

She acted as though she cared about me, if only for friendship, and also seemed like she did not mind my company, and actually enjoyed it. I knew Nadir cared about my wellbeing, and did not mind being in my presence, but this…this was completely different.

And so, with Christmas upon us, I wanted to make everything perfect. I needed decorations; I needed everything that was traditional to a Christmas celebration. I wanted to get everything and surprise Audrey, but as I had never celebrated Christmas before, I knew I would need her help.

I decided to brooch the subject at breakfast that morning, but was unsure of how to do so. We were sitting in comfortable silence, but I was fidgety and nervous—trying to think of a way to bring it up. Audrey noticed my discomfort and raised one of her perfectly arched brows.

"Erik, are you alright?"

I glanced up before trying to play it off with indifference. "Fine, fine…just wondering, actually, if—oh, never mind," I said before returning to picking the food on my plate.

She pursed her lips, now obviously curious, but she let it go as she continued eating. My mind was turning, trying to think of a way to ask her without sounding like a complete fool, but I decided to just come out with it.

"What, exactly, would be an appropriate Christmas tree?"

Audrey glanced up, seemingly distracted, before saying, "Hmm?"

I glared at her, loathe to repeat my question, and she stared back with complete and utter innocence, and so I could not stay angry. I said my question again slowly, and I saw humor and excitement immediately dance in her eyes.

"Well," she began thoughtfully, and I simply listened, glad she had not laughed in my face, "it must be tall, and grand, and very green so we know it will live longer! Oh, Erik! Are we going to go get one?"

"Yes, Audrey, that is why I am asking," I replied rather shortly and she made a face but made no comment. "Where would one get such a tree? I think there is a sufficient one in Anderson's yard," I said, referring to the neighbor that lived about a mile and a half down the road. "I saw it when I was in the carriage yesterday."

Audrey stared at me with dumbfounded silence, before I demanded what was wrong defensively.

"Erik, you cannot simply take a tree from our neighbor's yard!"

I furrowed my brows thoughtfully. "I suppose that would be stealing…," I murmured gently.

"You suppose?" she said with an unbelieving laugh.

"Well where else can we get one? We have no such one here."

"There are sufficient Christmas tree farms nearby," she replied. Suddenly her eyes lit up. "Oh, can we go get one, please?"

"Audrey—"

"_Please _Erik? I always go with my father to pick out our Christmas tree. It wouldn't be Christmas without it!" I opened my mouth to deny her again; I hadn't been comfortable having her out and about since her attack, mostly since the men had not been caught yet, much to my dissatisfaction and impatience, but also partly because I just did not like her out where she could get hurt. I was much happier when she was safely locked away in our home. Her lower lip stuck out in a ridiculous pout and it made me hesitate, but I was still firm. "No."

Then to my utter surprise she rose from the table and came around the side, taking her hand in mine and looking deep into my eyes, which were suddenly filled with tears, ones I knew were false, but still moved me slightly. "Oh please, Erik! It would mean the world to me."

I narrowed me eyes. "Fine," I barked, angry at my own weakness to deny her anything she wanted. "But be ready in half an hour."

She immediately dropped my hand and squealed. "Oh thank you!" And then she ran away, and I heard her noisily climb the stairs, and finally I heard her door slam shut, and I sighed, pushing my food around my plate for a few more minutes before calling it a lost cause and rising. I might as well get ready as well.

I closed and locked my bedroom door upon entering, since Audrey freely came into it now, before taking off my mask, which was rubbing irritably under my eye. The one upside to living alone was that I could go maskless for days at a time, something I would never dream of doing in the house I lived in now.

From my dresser, I picked up a stack of papers that were notes from the case Nadir and I were helping on.

I did not know how Nadir had gotten into contact with the Comte Montague, but I was grateful for his service. At first I had been skeptical as to why a man in such high social status was helping with the police, or why he would agree to help me personally, and I had voiced these questions to Nadir who had given me a very worthy explanation.

When the Comte had been only a boy, his mother had been brutally murdered, and the police failed to locate her killer, and he had always vowed to do something to help with these kinds of things when he was older, although it was somewhat frowned in society. But he was such a kind and well-liked man that he still kept his position with little trouble. It was his marriage to his wife, a common woman from Spain, that had almost outdone him. And although not fully accepted, I had discovered many of the society members had become attached to the woman, and had slowly welcomed back the Comte, and along with him, his new wife.

I had not recognized her until Audrey told me later that night, but she had been the woman she had argued with at her engagement ball. But upon being reminded, I remembered the scene I had witnessed with humor.

Although they had gotten off on the wrong foot, I could tell that Audrey was slowly beginning to accept, if not like, the woman, as she and her husband had been over three times in the last few days. It felt good to see Audrey interacting with someone besides me, Nadir, or her family, and I could tell she enjoyed the new company as well, even if she was not ready to admit it.

"But she asks the most prying questions," she had commented the night before in the library, where we were taking our evening tea.

"Perhaps it is because she was born and raised outside of society in Spain," I supplied easily.

"Yes, I know that must be it," she responded, her eyes having a thoughtful glazed over look about them. "I would just think that after almost a year, she would have learned more than she already has."

"Maybe no one offered to teach her. Maybe you could," I suggested tentatively.

Her eyes then shifted to me, before saying, "Maybe."

I didn't think she was ready to admit that she and the Spaniard could be friends, and so I did not push it. But I found her husband's help increasingly helpful, and he was even an enjoyable person to be with. He hardly looked at my mask and never asked about it, though I gathered that from being that Nadir had explained to him beforehand.

I rubbed my temples firmly, hoping to rid myself of the headache that was prickling behind my eyes, when someone trying the door shook me from my thoughts.

"Why is the door locked?" Audrey shrilly demanded from the other side before trying it again.

"I was changing," I lied, before grabbing a new coat and slipping into it, so at least part of my lie was truthful. I then opened my door to see she was fully dressed and ready to go.

"Are you ready?" she asked, looking somewhat impatient.

"Indeed," I obliged her, before offering my arm and assisting her down the stairs.

--

"What about this one?" I asked, gesturing to the tree in front of me.

Audrey walked up next to me, looked down at the specimen, and wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"What," I said, exasperated, "is wrong with this one? It's a perfectly fine tree."

"It also only reaches my shoulder."

I took a steadying breath, hoping to control the temper that was threatening to rise. "What is wrong with that? You'll be able to decorate it easier."

Audrey fixed her eyes on me. "It must be larger than that. Taller than me, at least, and probably as tall as you are," she explained patiently. "Plus, in my family, it is tradition for the man of the household to decorate the tree." She ignored my gaping mouth and continued. "For example," she walked away and I watched her warily until she came to a stop in front of a tree that was about as tall as I was, and very lush and green, "this one would be perfect."

Anxious to be done with this absurd errand, I told the man that had been following behind us faithfully, that we would take that one. Without looking at him longer than necessary, I was still uncomfortable in any sort of public situation; I gave him the sufficient amount of money and told him to have it at our home no later than six o'clock that night.

I then ushered Audrey to the carriage, not missing the disappointed look on her face at being done so early. I knew I had kept her cooped up more severely for the last couple of days, since I was worried about her injuries, which I knew still bothered her, and felt insecure at having her out with her perpetrators still loose, and I felt badly about it.

However, I did not regret my decision once her squeal of delight reached my ears when we pulled in front of a small café for lunch.

--

I spread my hands out in a gesture of impatience as I looked keenly at the men in front of me. "And so, what does this mean for us?"

Nadir sighed, giving a weary shrug as he did so. "It seems the construction company is unwilling to collaborate."

"Why?" I demanded harshly, pushing the papers in front of me away in disgust.

`The Comte collapsed heavily in the chair behind him, seemingly as aggravated as I was. "They are afraid if the men are found guilty, it will give them a bad image and they may not be hired for as many contracts as they are now."

My eyes clenched closed as I attempted to keep my self control. I had been doing so well lately, and there was no reason for me to ruin it now. "These _bastards_ almost _raped_ my _wife_ and they won't let us investigate further because of a self-image issue?" I growled.

"I know. It is completely absurd," Montague replied, but gave me a steady glance. "They'll have to cooperate. They have no valid reason to not participate in the investigation, though we'll need your wife to eventually come in and tell us if we have the right men."

I nodded. Although this somewhat disturbed me, as I did not want her facing unnecessary memories, I knew it would have to be done. I just wanted to get the men arrested and tried and put the whole bloody thing behind us.

Nadir stacked the papers that I had strewn about neatly into a pile again, and put it into a folder that they had been in previously. He then held it out to the Comte, who took it gratefully and tucked it underneath his arm.

"I am going now to deal with this, and I'll be back tomorrow to discuss more matters. Until then, gentlemen," he said as he rose, collecting his coat and cane.

I stood as well, holding out my hand, and saying, "I want to thank you for helping me with this. I know the case is getting much more attention now than it would be."

He grasped my hand firmly before replying, "It's honestly no problem. I would want someone to do the same if it had been my wife."

I nodded my understanding, before walking him to the door and seeing him out. Once left alone with Nadir, I turned to him and gave him a pointed look.

"It'll work out, Erik," he assured me.

I shook my head slowly and said, "It better, Nadir. I am becoming impatient with this whole legal process."

"I know, my friend, but you are doing the right thing; by them and by Audrey."

"I do not care if I do right by them, but by Audrey, well…" I shrugged, but he understood my meaning.

Nodding, he stood also, and began collecting his things.

"Going so soon?" I asked, as he usually stayed for dinner.

He confirmed this by putting on his coat. "Yes, I have some things I need to attend to." He then paused and looked at me thoughtfully. "What do you think about horses?"

"Horses?" I asked. "What about them?"

Nadir then gave a secret little smile before saying, "Oh, nothing. But I really must be going. I've an appointment to keep. I'll see you tomorrow."

I then began to contemplate about what he had said, and, more importantly, about the case that was coming along slower than I ultimately wanted.

Before going through the front door, though, Nadir paused and looked over his shoulder at me, and said, "Nice Christmas tree."

I smiled.

--

**Genny's Note: Review? (:**


	23. Venegence

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty-three: Vengeance  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavor, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned._

-Charlotte Bronte

--

_Erik._

A week passed peacefully enough. Things in my household remained typical, except for, of course, the whole thing with Audrey sleeping in my bed. She continued to do so, and I continued to enjoy every moment of it. Though I had taken to coming to bed later as to get some work done, I gained pleasure from waking up beside her, since I woke earlier than her as well. But rather than leaving, I would just lay there and soak up the feeling that someone—my wife no less!—wanted to lie beside me.

She was no longer having problems with falling asleep, and so it gave me hope that she was actually there because she wanted to be, rather than out of fear. Indeed, the experience seemed to have left her mind completely. Although it had not left her body. The bruises on her wrist had yellowed, but were still livid. The scrapes on her feet had scabbed and healed, since they were shallow, but the cuts on her legs were another story. They were still in the healing process, and I knew they caused her acute discomfort, especially since they had begun itching the past few days. She tried to act like they didn't bother her, but I could see on her face they did.

My wife was very brave about the whole thing.

And although I tried very, very hard to enjoy the whole Christmas season with her, it was quite difficult knowing that her attackers were still romping about, perhaps causing harm to other women who may not be as lucky as Audrey.

And though the week passed, as I said before, calmly enough, it was not nearly as productive as I had wanted. The fact that the construction company was still refusing to cooperate was completely infuriating, and sent me into a rage every time we discussed it. Montague had assured me that, legally, they would eventually have to work with us, but I was not satisfied with this. It was going to be my first celebrated Christmas, and I would not have some dark memory hanging over mine and Audrey's head during it. No, I simply would have to solve this before then.

As I was trying to think of a solution, I had an epiphany! I was a rich man, far richer than many, and I had the sufficient funds if I wanted to purchase a business. And to get down to specifics, say, oh, I don't know: a _constructing_ business.

The solution was so simple and clear that it put me in an immensely fine mood for the rest of the evening. I could not stop grinning, and I suppose to Audrey it was slightly, ah…unnerving, which would explain why she was _very_ fascinated with her book that night.

The next day, I met with Nadir and told him of my idea. He agreed it could work, and so we set up a conference with the owner for the following day, and agreed he should go in my place.

Oh, how much simpler it would be just to kill them! I would not be having to going through all these details and wasting time and money. Yes…it would have been thoroughly easier to kill them. But my wife would not have liked that, and so I refrained. Only to make her happy.

But I digress.

Christmas was in a little over a week so I knew I would have to act quickly.

The meeting the following day went very well. Nadir offered the man enough money that he and his family would never have to worry about any sort of employment ever again, unless it was that of their future servants. Hesitation did not even exist on his part during any part of the arrangement, or so Nadir told me. The only setback we had was that it was going to take a week for the transition to go through.

Well, that had me pulling at my hair, but it was still farther than I had been before.

All while this was going on, I kept the information completely to myself. Although Audrey was completely aware that I was working on the case, and that it was causing me bouts of mood swings, she never questioned it. I honestly did not think she wanted to know, and only needed to be involved when she had to be. I could not say I blamed her. I would be the same way. Well, maybe I wouldn't, but any other normal person would.

She seemed to be almost avoiding me, though I kind of drew the conclusion that it was from the terrible rages I had been in because of my frustration, or at least, that's what I hoped. The only thing that kept me from thinking it was because she completely despised my company was that every night when I would tiptoe into my bedroom, I would find her curled up on one side of the bed asleep; the covers on the other side pulled back for when I was to arrive. Admittedly, this was becoming later and later at night since I had been up late working on her present, which was coming along very nicely, by the way.

But I could not feel at ease with anything until the problem with the assaulters was solved, and so, a week later, the night before Christmas Eve, everything was ready for what needed to be done. The company was officially mine that morning, and after easy surveillance and applying all the knowledge I had acquired from the entire investigation, it was not hard to find out who they were. I sent some of the constables to arrest them, and waited at home anxiously for Audrey to go to sleep. I knew she would not take to me leaving the house at night well, and so, it was best she did not know about it.

I tried to go through the motions of the night as normally as I could, but was finding it hard to sit through dinner or pretending to read in the library tedious. I know my wife noticed, but as the behavior was similar to the ones I had been in previous week and a half, she said nothing.

If this had been only a mere few years ago, the idea of seeking revenge upon someone would have been greatly exciting, but now I just found the whole thing tiring. I did not want to go and see them. Well, I did, but as I would not be extracting death upon them, it lost some of its appeal.

I was actually quite nervous I would not be able to stop myself, and so I had asked Nadir to come with me. Even if he wasn't in the room with me, even if he was simply standing outside the door, I knew it would give me the strength I lacked.

I waited an hour after Audrey went to bed before leaving. I, of course, checked on her first like a good husband should, and upon finding her sound asleep in my bed again, I gathered my fedora and cloak, and, because I could not see leaving without it, my familiar Punjab lasso.

After having my driver go get Nadir, we were off to the jailhouse where I knew they were now being kept. I was told my wife and I both needed to identify the men before charges could be pressed, but I had ultimately decided Audrey would go after Christmas. It was only two days away, anyways, and I did not need such an event to steal the holiday away from her. Although I could tell the constables did not think that wise, I only glared at them and any protests were silenced.

"Are you ready for this?" Nadir asked me as the carriage jolted into motion.

I gently fingered the lasso that lay in my lap before looking out the window. "No," I said, before whipping it back into my coat sleeve. "But it doesn't matter if I am ready. I shall do this tonight."

He stared grimly at my lap, where my weapon had been only moments before. "But I thought that—"

"Calm yourself, friend," I said with a sigh. "You need not fear over their lives. That is why I brought you along." I looked thoughtfully at him for a moment before saying, "Though a little physical demonstration of what will happen if they ever go near my wife again will not hurt."

A heavy sigh came from my Persian friend. "I suppose not, but Erik, remember the whole point of this trouble. It was not to be in vain; not for you to lose your temper at the last moment." It then became silent in the carriage until he said, "Does Audrey know where you are off to?"

A gave a slow shake of my head before replying, "She still feels unsafe alone at night. She has been…sleeping in my room every night since the attack," I said slowly, almost loathe to part with this information, as it was a personal thing between my wife and me, but I saw Nadir slowly smile.

"Although brought about from the wrong reasons, I can see the sentiment brings you great joy," he said in a soft voice.

I only then realized I had been grinning slightly, but I ignored him and continued. "I will only be gone a few hours, and so I thought it best she did not know. I do not want to cause her unnecessary stress."

"What if she awakens while you are gone?"

I winced as he voiced my fear. "That, my friend, is why we must return as quickly as possible."

He agreed, and we made the rest of the journey in stillness. I spent the rest of the time reining in my emotions and trying to keep the building rage under my power. I wanted to be in control as much as possible when we arrived.

Once the carriage stopped, we got out and went into the building, and were then directed to a cell that was in the far back. I requested the key in a voice so cold it had the guard rushing to obey me, and dropping it in his haste. Once I had it in my hand, I signaled for him to leave us alone, which he did quickly, stopping to keep post at the door.

I took a step towards the cell door then, my eyes searching for its occupants. Although it was dark, I found them quickly, huddled on a bench. As I remembered, there were four of them, and they were all looking warily in my direction. Only when I stepped into the light and they saw the mask did one gasp, and the others looked upon me, horrified.

I put the key into the keyhole and turned it deftly, and upon it being unlocked, I shoved the door open. I ignored Nadir's softly spoken warning behind me, because all I saw was red. All the good gestures I had taken in the carriage to channel my anger and become calm had disappeared. The only thing I could see was Audrey crying, or Audrey sitting on the hospital bed, a forlorn and timid creature I did not recognize. I thought of the nightmares she suffered and how her bravery had simply been repealed out of her because of their foolish actions.

"Did I not tell you if you ever touched my wife I would skin you alive?"

And then I launched myself at them.

--

You see, every person has bouts of lost control from time to time. There are moments in everyone's life where one simply can take no more and does the exact thing they once said they would not. Even if they said it only a few minutes ago.

I did not kill them, but I almost did.

I can honestly say I do not remember a thing after going after them. The first thing I recall is Nadir pulling me off, and me about to turn on him like some wild dog, but upon seeing his infuriatingly calm face, stopped what I was doing, and backed out of the cell before I could do anymore damage. The prison guard was there as well, having heard the noise, and was yelling at me to leave, looking fearfully at the four men that lay on the cell floor in a bloody heap.

Nadir put his hand on my shoulder and guided me out, taking me to the carriage and putting me into it, before he climbed swiftly in after me. I stared numbly out the window, and Nadir left me to my mind for several minutes before I decided to speak.

"I'm sorry," I said hoarsely.

He sighed heavily, looking at me before saying, "It is fine, Erik. I am glad you stopped, and I'm also proud that you just didn't kill them in the first place like you longed to. If anything, you gave them a, ah…very good warning and you at least know they are the right men. You have done right by Audrey, and most importantly, by yourself. "

I nodded, knowing I did not deserve his praise, but longing to accept it. After a time, he spoke again. "All will be well soon, my friend. For now, go home to your wife before she discovers you missing and throttles you."

I smiled at this, and after dropping him off at his own home, I told the driver to make haste to mine.

It took longer than usual to get there, or perhaps that is just because I longed to be near Audrey, and once I arrived, I bounded up the porch and came as quietly into the house as possible. The maid was asleep, I was sure, but as for Audrey, I did not know. I hung my cloak and fedora up, and began going towards the staircase, when I heard a voice come from the top of it.

"Erik—what in Heaven's name happened to you?"

At first I concluded that her question was directed as me being gone, but when I looked down at myself to make sure my clothes were not rumpled, I discovered that I was covered in blood. This had to be the cause for her alarm.

She flew down the stairs and immediately began fretting over me as only a wife would do to her husband. "Oh dear, where are you hurt? How did it happen?" she demanded, her hands searching for the wound that I did not even have.

Blast Nadir for not telling me of my state! Though I suppose he figured I would have known. I grabbed Audrey's hands and pinned them to her sides, knowing I was going to have to tell her the truth, as she was too smart to be averted any other way.

"I am not hurt," I said slowly, waiting for her to catch my meaning.

When she did, she recoiled away from me, wiping away the blood that had gotten on her own hands.

"You killed _them_, didn't you?" she hissed.

The look of mistrust that immediately entered her eyes made me catch my breath at the amount of pain it caused, but it reassured me that I had done the right thing in _not_ killing them. I just had to convince her of the same thing.

"No, I did not," I breathed. "I wanted to. God, I wanted to. And when I saw them in the cell—when I saw them just sitting there…I almost did."

Another emotion took over her face, and her eyebrows cinched together in confusion as she looked down. "A cell? So, they've been captured then?"

I nodded my assent before grabbing her gently by her shoulders and forced her to look at me. "Audrey, I swear to you I did not kill them. All that happened was I lost my temper for a moment. If I was planning on killing them from the beginning I would have just gone out and done it the first night rather than meeting with the Comte and Nadir this past week." I took a deep breath and said, "I did not want to end their lives because it would not have been right in your eyes. Trust me when I say they are still alive."

Still looking down, her eyes slowly found mine and they did not leave. Their cobalt depths stared at mine for a very long time, searching, until she finally whispered, "I believe you."

I sagged in relief and took her upon impulse into my arms and simply held her, and she, for her part, seemed content to be there.

We remained that way for a very long time, and finally I drew away, knowing it was time for both of us to retire. But first, she gave me a small smile, and then leaned up and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you for taking care of me." And before I could respond she said, "Now go get cleaned up, because if you think you're laying next to me in bed that way you are insane."

And wanting nothing more than to lay next to my wife, I hurried upstairs to do just that.

--

**Genny's Note: Not a lot of Audrey in this chapter, but you shall be rewarded with the next one. It may be a little late in coming because, after six months of being gone, my brother is returning home from Iraq tomorrow!**

**But next time: Christmas dawns on our couple and both have some interesting presents to give.**

**Oh, and a big thank you to Timeflies, who was the one who suggested Erik buy the business to get them to cooperate. Thank you again!**

**Also, I apologize for any confusion or inconvenience this chapter has caused anyone. I tried posting it Friday night but it was just going crazy. I was finally able to upload it today.  
**


	24. Merry

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty-four: Merry  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_Dear Mister Destler, my new brother-in-law,_

_You may have heard about me before, and if not, I cannot say I blame my younger sister, as I am sure she was dreadfully angry at me for leaving. If you do now know who I am, I am Audrey's elder sister, Jacqueline. As you may, or again, may not know, I wrote to Audrey several months ago saying I may write her around Christmas. As the season is upon us, I have deemed it safe to return to my family, as everything is surely settled down by now._

_I would like to see Audrey first, if it is alright with you, and I would very much like to meet my baby sister's new husband. I hope you will agree to let her meet me the evening after Christmas for a nice dinner. I have made reservations at a restaurant in London, and the address and time are attached. Please pen me a message back, telling me whether or not I should bother showing up._

_Thank you very much, Mister Destler, for your cooperation. I hope you will allow me to see my sister as a Christmas present to her._

_Cordially,  
Jacqueline_

--

_Erik.  
Christmas Morning._

I find that any opportunity presented to me to make Audrey happy is something I can no longer pass up. For any woman who could make me almost completely forget about Christine and no longer yearn for her had to, somehow, be because of love.

Didn't it?

I was no longer sure if I had even loved Christine, for the feelings I now had for Audrey surpassed anything I had felt for that woman back in Paris. Perhaps her physical beauty and heavenly voice had caused me to become infatuated with her. I had mistaken her kindness and innocence as something that meant she would be able to love me and spend the rest of her life with me.

With Audrey, I had never felt such a thing. I had mostly married her for companionship, and, for lack of a better word, entertainment. Her fiery spirit never left me bored and I knew I had rescued her from a marriage with a pompous old man, or if she had decided to run away, a life of back-breaking work and little earnings to show for it. I never, in my wildest dreams, thought love was possible for either of us. Yet, now I am letting myself hope that perhaps, just perhaps, she cared for me in the way I cared for her. I knew it was dangerous to hope this way, for when I was turned away like the ugly monster I was, I would fall into despair again.

I did not think I could live through the same rejection twice.

When she had been assaulted two weeks earlier, I had summed up my anger to the simple rage of someone touching what belonged to me, but as I searched deeper inside myself, I found it was from the true and unrelenting fear that something would happen to her, and it had taken all my control not to kill those men where they stood when I first saw them again after the attack. I had wanted so dearly to, but I knew that Audrey deserved something better than what I had used to be.

But now, the unrelenting and unstoppable feelings of wanting to make her as utterly happy as possible, and to tell her I loved her, controlled me.

And so, when this prospect presented itself, I jumped on it without any hesitance. If I was too afraid to tell her I loved her, I could at least show her.

--

_Dear Miss Cross,_

_Forgive me if I did not address you by your correct title, but I do not know if you are married or not._

_Audrey actually speaks of you quite often, and would be delighted to see you. I shall have her there at the appointed place and time, and you will be able to visit for as long as you want. If you or anyone else you are traveling with is in need of a place to stay, you are welcome to our home._

_My wife will surely be cheered by your visit, and I thank you for making it possible._

_Sincerely,  
Erik Destler_

--

I barely had time to mail the message off with the delivery boy who had sent it when Audrey came bounding into my office like a child who had been given too many sugary snacks.

"Erik!" she sang. "It is now Christmas morning and it is time to open presents!"

Her cat was held snug against her chest, and the poor beast looked confused at her owner dancing around so happily. The unfortunate thing looked almost sick!

I stretched out lazily at my desk, putting my hands behind my head as I smiled and said, "I just need a moment longer."

Gaining the reaction I was seeking, Audrey tucked Echo tighter to her person so that she was just holding it with one hand rather than two, and using her free one, grabbed the lapel of my jacket and tugged with all her strength, which, regrettably, wasn't much.

"Not a chance! You said we could open presents as soon as I was awake!"

Relenting, I stood from my chair and followed her into the living room where the Christmas tree stood proudly. Audrey settled herself on the ground next to it, tucking her legs beneath her hips and letting the cat free, who immediately sprang to the other side of the room, looking irritated.

I had been excited to give Audrey her present for so long; I grabbed the box and shoved it at her as soon as I was seated.

"Mine first," I demanded.

She smiled, setting it in her lap and slowly began to open it. I waited anxiously as she carefully tore the bright paper away from the box I had gently set the gift in. I was nervous beyond belief, and I even felt a little sweat break out upon my forehead and my upper lip. I longed to remove my mask and wipe my face dry, but I did not dare. Instead, I fixed my eyes upon my wife, waiting for the unveiling of the present I had worked so hard on.

The slow precision in which she unwrapped it made me even more uneasy and I exclaimed with boyish excitement for her to hurry.

She paused, and looked up at me from her perch next to the tree with a smirk. "Someone is a little antsy," she replied with comedy sparkling in her azure eyes.

"Do not toy with me, woman!" I snapped, only making her smile widen at my ill-humor. I made a gesture of impatience at her, and ending my torture, she pulled the rest of the paper off of the box with one swift pull.

She slid her fingers under the sides of the box, pulling until it came loose and edges flapped freely. She then attacked the packaging material, ripping it apart in her eagerness to get to the treasure beneath. The last moment before it was in her hands was torturous, and I held my breath as I waited for her reaction.

She lifted the music box with all the carefulness of someone holding a delicate butterfly; afraid to cause any damage to it. I had worked hours to make it what it was.

It was carved intricately from cherry wood, elaborate roses and butterflies decorated the front of it. The inside was lined with red velvet, for I knew that it was her favorite color, and had many compartments and places in which to place her jewelry. It also had a key in the back that, when wound up, would play a small and sweet tune that I had written. There as a plaque on the top; that had her name written beautifully in cursive, gold print.

Her intake of breath was her first reaction, before she explored it with tentative and excited hands, her fingers tracing over every detail that she saw. When she found the key in the back, she looked at me questioningly.

"Wind it up," I urged, and she did so directly. The short song began playing, filling the room with its charming sound. The intricate tune surrounded us both in its melodic resonance, casting over us a warm blanket of contentedness. We both sat in silence, waiting until it finished a moment later.

She then knowingly looked at me and asked, "Did you write the song?"

I gave a small nod, before saying, "I made the box too. I carved it from a chunk of wood I bought."

Audrey's eyes found the box again. "Extraordinary," she said before turning the key again to reveal another song I had put into it. Another one of the originals I had written for her. She laughed, and clapped her hands together childishly. "How delightful this is!" There were five different tunes in the mechanisms to ensure she would not get bored, and she played every one of them before looking at me and giving me the most genuine smile I had seen from her. "Thank you Erik. It is wonderful, and truly the best Christmas present I have received."

She cleared her throat once she was finished speaking before continuing. "I know you know already about the violin, so I am unable to surprise you with it, but I have another thing for you. Would you like it?"

I complied, seemingly confused and wondering how she possibly could have obtained another gift for me as of late, as I had not left her alone and I had also watched her like a hawk to ensure she did not leave again. I observed her carefully as she set the music box on the coffee table in front of her, and stood on her knees before shuffling over to me, where I sat on the couch. She then stood; the poor girl was only slightly taller than me from my perch on the divan, and bent down to me, leaving my heart pounding in my throat.

I watched her curiously as she closed her eyes, and I felt her hands rest on my shoulders, before traveling slowly and torturously up my neck to finally rest upon my cheeks; both masked and unmasked.

"I promise I'll keep my eyes closed," she whispered.

"Audrey, what—" I cut myself off with a gasp when her finger reached gingerly underneath the edge of my mask. I jerked away, fuming, but Audrey remained calmly in front of me with her eyes still closed, as if she had expected this.

"I _swear_ I will not look," she said, opening her eyes and holding my gaze with her own. "Trust me."

I could not deny her then, and slowly nodded my head in asset and stiffened when I felt her fingers at my face again. I checked to make sure her eyes were still closed, but felt little relief when I saw they still were, for I knew that this particular thing could change in a heartbeat.

She unhurriedly removed my mask, going slowly as to not surprise me with any abrupt movements. I felt the air hit my bare face and simultaneously felt my hands begin to shake. And even when the mask was off, she did not open her eyes. I waited with tormenting inquisitiveness for what she was going to do next.

But, going along with her idea of not letting me be taken aback by any of her movements, she said, "I am going to kiss you now."

And she did just that. But she first kissed my cheek, left, and then to my horror, my right, but I was unable to move, for so in shock I was. She then moved down the deformed part of my face with precision, kissing my shriveled temple and wrinkled chin, my ear, right below my earlobe, and then to my neck. My fists clenched at this, and I moaned slightly at the sensual kisses she placed at the hollow of my throat. Her movements were slow and gentle, her hands rested on my shoulders to hold me in place.

She then moved slowly back up until she reached the base of my chin, before saying, "I am _really_ going to kiss you now."

Before I could respond, her lips pressed themselves tenderly to my own, letting me get used to the idea before she deepened the kiss. Her mouth opened slightly, and I could feel her hot breath in my own mouth. Her tongue pressed gently on my lips, and I found myself instinctively opening my own mouth to grant her access where our tongues met with a slow accuracy I had never known before. Her hands moved from my shoulders, and she placed one upon my neck and the other cupped my, thankfully, left cheek. I felt my own hands reach up to her hair, wrapping my fingers in their curly tendrils and feeling their softness between my fingers as the kiss intensified.

She did not let it go on for much longer though, maybe perhaps because she knew I did not have much self control, or perhaps it was all she could bare. Whatever the reason, she drew away slowly, eyes still closed, as she reached for the mask that lay in my lap. She replaced it slowly, and once it was perched perfectly so, she opened her eyes and smiled at me. I could only stare back in silent astonishment. My own mother would not even kiss me, and yet here my little wife does so, and willingly! I did not even have to ask, fearing it would be too much of a request.

"Audrey…no one has ever…how is it possible—?" I could not even finish a sentence I was so shocked, but under that I felt something that must have been gratitude.

But she laughed—though not unkindly—at my lack of words before chiding, "Just say 'thank you,' Erik."

"Thank you," I repeated dumbly.

"You are welcome," she responded before she nuzzled her face into my neck, her nose tickling my ear before she whispered, "Merry Christmas."

Indeed, it was the merriest Christmas I had ever had.

--

Much to my amusement, Audrey became shy around me for the remainder of the day. Perhaps this was not an unusual thing, but for her, it most definitely was. It seemed every time I looked at her she blushed or simply looked away. I found myself doing the same, and we both stumbled over our words whenever we were around each other. I think eventually we both mutually agreed to enjoy each other's company in silence to save us from the embarrassment of trying to speak. The only time I had seen a glimpse of her usual saucy self was when I had asked if she had liked her gift. I knew she had, but I wanted to ease my vanity by hearing her praise it again.

She had nodded eagerly, saying, "Yes, it's terribly beautiful!" as she did so. But then something crossed over her face and she grinned almost wickedly. "Did you like mine?" she teased.

"I—uh—yes," I finally managed, not even bothering to deny it.

"Good," she mused. "I went through a lot to get that violin."

I glared at her for confusing me with which present she had originally been inquiring about, and she only snickered humorously in reply.

Later that afternoon, over a late lunch, I introduced a happy topic that I knew would excite her.

"After we are done eating, dearest, you must go upstairs and pack a bag."

Her head jerked up immediately, and her eyes found mine eagerly. "Where are we going?"

I grinned at her instant enthusiasm. "Tonight we are spending the night in the grandest hotel in London, and tomorrow I have a surprise for you."

Audrey's face exploded into a smile as she asked, "Really?"

"Yes, but you must hurry so we do not miss our dinner reservation."

I knew that leaving the house and just going out was one of Audrey's greatest pleasures, and so I was not surprised at how excited she was when I had told her, but what did shock me, however, was her leaping from her seat, bending down to embrace me, and kissing my unmasked cheek.

"Oh, thank you, Erik! I will be ready within the hour!"

And then she ran from the room, leaving me to enjoy the rest of my lunch alone.

That kiss, and undoubtedly the one she had given me earlier, had given me hope that she felt something for me other than fondness. It was the most hope I had had since…well, ever, actually. And although I was terrified at letting myself wish like this, least it end badly, I could not help it, and I could also not wipe the damn smile that seemed permanently perched on my face.

As promised, Audrey was ready at the selected time, and we departed. I knew that by the time we got to London, it would be time for dinner, and our reservations at the hotel would be ready, as I had sent a messenger ahead of us to confirm it.

Sitting in the carriage, Audrey gripped my hand and pointed out various and beautiful sights to me, all of them snowcapped by the storm we had had two nights before. The feeling of her gloved hand in mine was, indeed, a wondrous feeling, and I had the distant sensation of being lifted up and carried; but to where, and by whom, I could not tell.

--

**Genny's Note: Reviews would be spectacular. Thanks. (:**


	25. Frozen Questions

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty-four: Frozen Questions  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_Love__ is so holy, so confusing. It makes a man anxious, tormented. __Love__, how can I define it?"_

_-Gao Xinggjian_

--

_Audrey._

Dinner with Erik was wonderful. As promised, it was at one of the best restaurants in London, and we surprisingly had an entire room in the place to ourselves! It was delightful and unexpected and I knew my husband was happy to see me so pleased.

Our Christmas together had been much more lovely than I thought possible. I had a feeling he was locking himself away to work on my Christmas present, as he had hinted at it several times, and I felt a lingering sadness at not being able to surprise him with anything. Yes, I had the violin, but the memories that came with it, besides the fact he had already seen it, did not make it as desirable as it once was. I had racked my brain for something I could give him, but as I was confined to the house like a criminal, though I could not blame Erik for this, it left my options rather short.

This had my mind turning to something homemade. But whatever could I do? Even homemade gifts required supplies, and I had no way to go about this anyways.

So with that out the window, I was back to the beginning, when on the night before Christmas Eve I woke because Echo had crawled all over me, to find myself in an empty bed. Now, this typically was not the cause for alarm, and so I got up slowly and explored the house, finding it painfully empty. Now this, however, _was_ a cause for alarm. Our coach and driver was missing as well, and so this only let me know that Erik had snuck out like a rebellious teenage girl set upon meeting her secret lover! He had left no note or clue to where he had gone, and so I settled on the top of the stairs, which had a nice vantage point of the front door, to wait. There was no way I could possibly sleep knowing he was not in the house.

I only waited twenty minutes or so when I heard a carriage, and a moment later Erik walked through the door. It was obvious he was trying to be quiet, and so I let him think he had outsmarted me until he turned towards the staircase and I saw his white shirt was stained a bloody red, which immediately caused me panic.

"Erik—what in Heaven's name happened to you?" I asked as I sprang up and ran down the stairs to him, my hands touching him gingerly in order to locate a wound. "Oh dear, where are you hurt? How did it happen?"

He sighed tiredly before taking my hands away from him and saying, with slow precision, "I am not hurt."

He watched me, as if waiting for me to grasp something, but I only looked on, confused. If he was not hurt, then why was he—?

It only took a moment for me to understand, and when I did, I looked at the blood on my own hands as if it were a bitter representation of what had happened when he was gone. I almost retched as I began wiping them on my nightgown.

"You killed _them_, didn't you?" I demanded.

Something in his expression softened before he said, "No, I did not. I wanted to. God, I wanted to. And when I saw them in the cell—when I saw them just sitting there…I almost did."

Mixed emotions coursed through me and I looked down, stepping away. "A cell? So, they've been captured then?" I questioned quietly.

He nodded before launching into his explanation. "Audrey, I swear to you I did not kill them. All that happened was I lost my temper for a moment. If I was planning on killing them from the beginning I would have just gone out and done it the first night rather than meeting with the Comte and Nadir this past week." He paused for a moment and then continued with, "I did not want to end their lives because it would not have been right in your eyes. Trust me when I say they are still alive."

I could feel my eyebrows draw together in confusion before I looked up, studying his eyes to see if he was lying. They held such truth and sincerity that I whispered, "I believe you." And then he took me in his arms, and I relaxed into the embrace that was slowly starting to become familiar.

Once I finally pulled away, I gave him a kiss on his cheek on impulse and said, "Thank you for taking care of me."

And that was when the idea for his Christmas present was born! A kiss, I should give him a real and proper kiss!

There was only one problem I encountered with that: the mask. I could kiss him with it on, but, well…quite honestly the kiss I had in mind would work out much better without it, but I knew if I tried to talk him into taking it off I would stumble upon problems.

And so how did I solve this little setback?

Simple: I did not ask his permission. And lucky for me he showed very little resistance, and my present was, well…in an attempt to remain proper about this whole thing, happily received by my husband.

I was also very pleased with my own present from him.

The music box he had made me was intricate and beautiful. The time and effort he had undoubtedly put into it was so touching I knew it was one of my most prized—if not the most—of my possessions.

And I was now curious at what the surprise I was to receive tomorrow was, but Erik was not letting up about it.

But after the restaurant, things could not continue to go on as peacefully as they had been the past few days. We had sent our carriage back home with instructions to pick us up tomorrow night. We had complied with taking a cab to the hotel in order to make it easier on our driver in the way that he could go home while we enjoyed our little overnight outing. But with the ending of dinner, our good moods seemed to end with it as well.

The rain was coming down in sheets as we traveled to the hotel, and my umbrella was packed into my overnight trunk. There was no getting it out. As the carriage pulled to a stop, Erik saw me staring unhappily into what we would have to run through.

"Is there any way I can stay in the carriage until it lets up? I'll follow you in once it has," I pleaded, turning to face Erik in the small space.

My husband's eyes shifted from the driver, to me, and back again before he shrugged out of his jacket. "No, but wear this. Come now, let's hurry."

I sighed, putting the oversized coat on and pulling it over my head before dashing out in the rain, not even stopping to wait for Erik, though I could feel him running directly behind me. I knew he could have easily surpassed me in speed, but he did not. Soon we were under the eve of the building and I pulled the damp jacket down, revealing my head which was thankfully dry. Looking at Erik I saw he did not fare as well as I did, and he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the moisture from his face.

He looked down, seeing my wet gown before he reached out and buttoned the jacket, and said, "Leave it on," before guiding me by the small of my back into the hotel lobby.

The way Erik treated me was often confusing. In the comfort of our own home he was frequently detached and cold, though we had our moments, but in public he was protective and often possessive of me towards, not just men, but everyone. Though I would never admit it to anyone, I liked the feeling. It was rather endearing to belong to someone, as much as I resented the sentiment. I used to dream about a different life every day, but now—

'_Wait. Used to?'_ my mind questioned me. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how content I had been in the past two months. Erik and I had gotten along fairly well and we'd even had a few tender moments.

'_Maybe your life with him won't be as horrible as you had originally thought._'

_'That's absurd. I did not get to marry the man I loved,' _I argued back.

_'Then how come you're so happy?'_

I gaped at myself for two reasons: one being the fact I was quarrelling with _myself_ and the other because I had come up with a legit argument.

Was I in love with Erik?

I did not know, but I did know I had to put a stop to this mindless internal bickering. Though a part of me pointed out if I kicked them both out, there would be no one left.

"Are you alright?"

Erik's voice made me jump, and I simply nodded, pushing the sleeves of the coat up as to free my hands before we continued walking towards the front desk.

"Excuse me sir," Erik said smoothly, "I sent someone ahead of us a two days ago to get a room under the name Erik Destler."

The man nodded, trying not to look too shocked by his mask but failing miserably. He grabbed a stack of papers, looking down for a moment before glancing back up.

"I'm sorry sir; there is no reservation here under that name."

I saw Erik's hand grip the counter for a moment, his knuckles turning white before he released. "Well, is there any available room for the night?"

"I'm s-sorry, sir, but we are full," the man stuttered, obviously intimated by Erik's looming presence.

"Well what will you have us do?" he snapped, gesturing grandly to the weather outside. "It is pouring and you are telling me that my wife and I have nowhere to stay?"

"I'm terribly sorry for the confusion but there's—"

"I demand—"

"Erik." I touched his arm gently, if only to get his attention. "There's nothing he can do. Let's leave."

"But—"

"Erik," I interrupted softly, raising my eyebrow. "Perhaps now is not the proper time for an argument."

He looked at me for a moment before looking back at the other man. "You are very lucky my wife does not care for violence."

"Come on now, dear husband," I said through clenched teeth. "Let us go inform our carriage driver of the situation." I grabbed his arm, towing him behind me through the grand lobby while he stumbled along, mumbling a string of curses on the way. "I swear Erik, I cannot take you anywhere."

"Well Audrey, please inform me of your grand plan, because it seems now we will be sleeping in the rain."

"We will _not_ be sleeping in the rain," I barked as we came back outside, still hidden beneath the protective eves of the hotel. I waited while Erik motioned our driver to come around. "We will simply have to find another hotel." He snorted sarcastically, crossing his arms over his chest and staring out into the rain. "What?" I demanded. "What were you going to do in there?" I asked, gesturing back into the hotel. "Make him empty a room for us so another poor couple would be stuck out in this ghastly weather?"

"Yes."

"You're impossible," I snapped.

"So are you," he retorted.

Finally the driver came back around and we dashed back into the rain, Erik practically throwing me in before he climbed in after me.

"Where to, sir?" the driver asked, adjusting his hat so that it was pulled over his brow.

Erik was silent, and I turned to see what he was about, only to see him looking at me expectantly.

"What?" I asked irritably.

"Well, Audrey, since it seems you have all the answers to our predicament, perhaps you could kindly inform our driver where we will be going, because I haven't a clue," he said philosophically, giving me a false smile.

I scowled, but spoke to our driver anyways. "Sir, it seems as if there are problems with our hotel reservations. Would you know of another place we could get lodging tonight?"

The man snickered, turning to look down on us from his perch. "On Christmas? I'm sorry, ma'am, but if you do not have reservations anywhere you are undoubtedly not going to find any vacancies."

"Fabulous," I muttered under my breath, crossing my arms across my chest as I did so.

"Well, I guess we will have to return home—"

"No!" I gasped. "I would not like to see my surprise forfeited just because our reservations fell through. Surely there _must_ be somewhere we can stay."

"Well, if you please sir, I live with my brother, and we have a spare room. We'd be willing to rent it out for the night."

I saw Erik look at the man, evaluating him and his rat-like appearance harshly, and then looked back to me, as if he was deciding something. Finally, he said, "I think I would prefer if we went home."

"Well, sir," the man began hesitantly, "my horses cannot make it to your country home in this ghastly weather."

He groaned, leaning against the cushioned seat in disappointment.

"Besides Erik, I am soaked to the bone. I cannot possibly make it home like this without catching some sort of illness." I shivered involuntarily at that moment, sighing as the shudder ripped through my whole body. "Furthermore," I continued, trying to keep my teeth from shattering, "if this gentleman is willing to offer us his room for the night, I see no reason why we cannot take it."

I glanced at my husband then, trying to look as pitiful as possible, because if there was one thing I did not want to do, it was to drive all the way back home in this appalling weather that was washing away all the traces of snow that had been there earlier that day. The rain was freezing to ice on the ground, and it did not look as if it was going to stop anytime soon.

Erik hesitated, then sighed softly, and said, "Very well, monsieur, we will take you up on that offer."

A nod from our driver signified his agreement before he snapped the reins and the horses were on their way again, puffs of air coming from their nostrils as they continued onward, braving the weather.

I, however, was not as courageous, and I sat with my arms around myself shivering and pulling Erik's coat as close to my body as I could, but as it was wet as well, it did little good.

"Come here," I stuttered, holding my hand out to motion Erik over. He hesitantly scooted closer to me and I grabbed his hand, pulling his arm across my shoulders, and molded myself into his side, trying to become warmer. Seeing my intent, he rubbed his hands over my arms, trying to warm them with the friction. It helped a little, and my shivering ceased slightly.

We traveled for another twenty minutes before the carriage came to a stop, and the man directed us inside the small home we had come to. I had my arms wrapped around Erik's waist as we walked up the porch, for I did not wish to relinquish the heat I had obtained from doing this. He didn't say anything, merely wrapped one arm around my shoulders to keep me there.

Upon entering the house, the driver instructed his brother, who was in the kitchen, to see to the horses while he got us settled. His brother walked from somewhere else in the house and rounded the corner to see who was here with his brother, and stopped short once he saw us. His eyes first went to Erik, or rather, Erik's mask, before his eyes took me in, evaluating me longer than what was comfortable. I shifted awkwardly, and Erik adjusted me so that I was blocked by his body and from the steadiness of his head, presumed he was glaring at him.

Before he did anything damaging, I disentangled myself from him and did my best to smile sweetly at both men in front of me.

"I very much appreciate you for opening your home to us on Christmas night. We shall pay you, of course, but if you don't mind, we'd like to be shown our room now. It's been a long day."

One of the men, who had been our driver, nodded dumbly and motioned for us to follow him. I began doing so, and only stopped when Erik grabbed my arm to keep me from going on ahead of him, and stepped very obviously between me and the other man. We walked down a short hallway, where I saw two doors on either side of me, and one at the end of the hall, the one we were walking towards.

After he opened the door, he motioned us inside, said they would serve us breakfast in the morning, and then left us in peace after setting our trunks down, as he had brought them along with him.

Once he shut the door, I furrowed my eyebrows, taking in the dank and dinky room around me. It was freezing, as there was no fireplace, and one small bed took up the corner. The sheets looked clean, and the bed was at least made, which eased my mind somewhat, but that seemed to be the only good feature of our little lodging area. I looked over at Erik to see he bore a similar facial expression and then I could not help myself: I began to laugh.

"What on Earth is so _funny_?" Erik snapped.

I covered my mouth with a hand before saying, "Just that our perfect evening _would_ end with something like this happening."

Even after explaining myself, Erik did not find it humorous, and he motioned towards my trunk. "You should change out of your wet clothes."

I nodded, unbuttoned his coat, and slid it off before handing it to him. I went to my trunk, flipped it open and began digging through it for my night clothes. I could hear him doing the same. It seemed neither of us thought of an issue with our one room arrangement until we both turned around, hands full with the clothing we would both be wearing to bed, and we realized the same thing at the same time, and I couldn't help but blush.

"We could just go—"

"—to separate corners?" I finished awkwardly.

He nodded, and we both proceeded to do just that. I swallowed slightly, unused to getting undressed alone, as I usually had a maid, and I hoped I could get the absurd silk dress off on my own. At least I could slip off my petticoats without the dress having to come off first, and I did just that, kicking them aside once I was freed from them, and then pulled my stockings off as well, setting them into the growing sopping pile.

It took a few minutes, but I was able to unlace my dress, and it fell to the ground with a wet _plop_ and I made a disgusted noise, kicking it away as well. Next was my corset, which was easy to rid of, as it was one that latched in the front, but remained tied in the back. I was now just in my silk camisole and my final petticoat.

"Just tell me when you are finished," Erik's voice said from the other side of the room.

"Alright," I said in acknowledgment, and hadn't realized he took that as confirmation for me being done, until I turned around to grab my nightgown off the floor and was met with his gaze, which I could feel was heated even though he was on the other side of the room. He was wearing dark sleep pants and a black dressing gown, but at that moment I realized I was not yet dressed, and I could only stand in horrified shock. Erik had a similar expression on his face, but I saw his eyes move over me slowly, taking in my body which was wrapped in only thin, wet, pieces of undergarments.

After several long and uncomfortable moments, Erik groaned, turned his face away and said, "I'm sorry. Forgive me."

His intense and fiery gaze left me shaking, and I took a deep breath, laying my hand on my stomach as I did so. "No, Erik, it is fine. It was an accident," I said, not wanting him to feel badly for what was obviously a mistake. He said nothing, but kept his back pointedly to me, and I quickly finished dressing, still trying to get my breathing under control while I tied my own silk cream-colored dressing gown into place.

"Finished," I said when I was so, and we both completed readying for bed in silence. We mutually seemed eager to forget what had happened, and so we did not speak. Finally, our clothes were hung to dry overnight, and everything else packed away. Then came our next obstacle: the small bed.

"I'll just lay on the floor. I doubt I'll be sleeping at all tonight," Erik said eventually once we tired of staring at the bed.

I didn't question why he wouldn't be sleeping, but I did say, "Erik, don't be absurd. We can both fit. Plus, it's freezing and there's only one sheet on it."

It took a few more minutes of gentle persuasion, since I had discovered that the easiest way to deal with Erik's insecurities about being near me was to be calm and sensible, and most of all, reassuring, but we both laid down together.

"Audrey?" Erik said once we were settled.

"Hmm?" I questioned.

"Do not leave this room without me. Do you understand?" Erik asked sternly.

"I won't," I sighed, already falling asleep.

"I mean it," he growled seriously.

"You don't have to worry about me moving from this spot for the next twelve hours," I reassured him with a small smile.

"We are _not_ going to be here twelve hours," he complained.

But I was already asleep.

--

**Genny's Note: This chapter was perhaps one of the first things I wrote for this story, so I am excited that I finally get to use it. I hope you enjoyed it and will oblige me by reviewing. My brother's welcome home party is raging outside my bedroom door and so I must rejoin real life, and will, therefore, not be able to reply to my reviews. But except it this time around. Thank you so very much for all your support.**


	26. Reunion

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty-six: Reunion  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_It's never too late to develop new friendships or reconnect with people."_

_-Morrie Schwartz_

--

_Audrey._

The next morning turned out to be quite uneventful. We woke, got dressed, though this time we were more cautious about it than we had been the night before, packed our things, and left, passing up the runny eggs that were sitting on the dining room table.

After leaving, we went to a small café where I enjoyed hot chocolate and some tasty pastries and Erik had some black coffee. When I asked him if he had slept at all the night before, he said he had not.

"Why not?" I questioned.

He took a very long time to answer, and when he did, what he said surprised me. "I did not trust those men, and sometime in the duration of the night, one attempted to sneak in. Upon finding me awake, he acted under the pretense of seeing if we wanted anything. I did not feel comfortable falling asleep."

"Oh," I responded, then looked away and asked, "So what's my surprise?"

He did not answer, only sighed. The rest of the day was spent pleasantly shopping and walking through the park. The water from last night's rain had frozen into beautiful patterns all over the trees and rooftops of London, and Erik would point out the most intricate ones, and we would take turns saying what they looked like. It was perhaps one of the nicest days I had spent with him.

Once it was about five o'clock, we reentered our carriage and I noticed he was beginning to get nervous. Every time he had gotten me some sort of surprise he had acted somewhat like this, and so this is how I knew the unveiling of my gift was near. I tried to contain myself, twisting my fingers in my lap to keep from fidgeting, as I knew that made Erik anxious as well. We rode for half an hour before we finally pulled in front of what looked to be a casual brick restaurant.

I looked at Erik with a confused expression, wondering if my surprise was just going to be another dinner, and if it was, how I was going to hide my disappointment from him.

He looked like he was about to do something very difficult before he took a steadying breath and said, "Audrey, I am going to leave you at this restaurant for an hour to eat dinner alone with a guest that is meeting you. You are to go straight in and straight back out to the carriage. You will not wander to any other location. Do you understand me?"

"I suppose," I began, "but—"

He reached around me and opened my door, gesturing me out, and saying, "Quick now, or you'll be late."

I got out hesitantly, not understanding what he was about, but upon realizing I wasn't going to receive anymore answers from him, I walked slowly to the front door, and Erik did not drive away until I was inside. Once I was, the host at the front looked at me and said, "May I help you?"

"Yes…," I started off hesitantly, "I'm supposed to be meeting someone?" It came out as more of a question than a statement, and the man in front of me looked at me questioningly, obviously wondering if I was stable.

It was then I heard a voice call my name. A voice I had not heard in almost eight months.

"Audrey?"

The voice of my sister.

I turned and was immediately greeted with the image of my elder sister, standing a little off to the side and looking radiantly happy.

"Jacqueline?" I questioned, unsure of whether or not she was real, and once I saw she was, I threw myself at her. "Jacqueline!"

She stumbled a little as I wrapped my arms around her with such force I was surprised we both did not fall to the floor. I held her tightly to me, afraid she was going to disappear as quickly as she had come. She gripped me just as fiercely, and we rocked back and forth like this for several minutes.

"I'm sorry, so sorry for everything I said," I blubbered, realizing at that precise moment I had begun crying.

She pulled back, wiping away my tears with her ungloved hands and making shushing noises. "Audrey, it's alright, darling. We both said things we did not mean, and I am sorry too. But we're together now." She stepped away from me and smiled. "It's wonderful to see you. You look superb!" she said, evaluating me from head to toe.

"Ladies?"

We both turned to the host who was still awkwardly standing there before he said, "May I show you to your table now?"

"Yes, of course," Jacqueline said, and we both followed him where we were showed a table in a mostly empty room, and he took our drink order before leaving us alone again.

"When did you get here?" I demanded immediately.

She gave a light shrug, taking a sip of the ice water that had been already waiting for us. "A few days. I was going to meet you earlier, but I wanted to let you enjoy Christmas with your husband. By the way," she said, cocking her head, "where is he?"

"Oh, Erik?" I said, as I had temporarily forgotten him. "I'm not sure where he is. But he doesn't go into public much."

"Why not?"

I pursed my lips, and then awkwardly stumbled through the explanation, to which Jacqueline frowned and apologized for being so rude and prying at such a personal subject.

"Oh Jackie! It really is fine," I said. "It's not as if you knew."

She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I wish I could have met him. I wanted to thank him for helping me arrange this whole thing."

"Erik? He helped arrange this meeting?"

She smiled at my dumbfounded reply and nodded. "Yes. I sent him a letter a few days ago and he agreed to bring you here. Although," she tilted her head, "I was unsure to whether or not you knew you would be meeting me beforehand. I suppose he didn't warn you."

I gave a light smirk before confirming I had not, and after a moment I demanded her to update me on her life for the past half year.

"Oh," she smiled dreamily. "Well, I left with George, as you probably know, and we married a few days later." She held up her left hand, and the proof sat upon her third finger just as surely as one sat on mine.

I reached across the table, grasping hers and looking at it closely. It was a small silver band with only one very tiny diamond set into it, but I found myself marveling at its simplicity. It was then Jacqueline grabbed mine as well, and looked at my ring; the one Erik had given me. It was not as big as the one I had received from James, but I loved it more. Finally, we both sheepishly released each other and sat back against our chairs.

I finally then took the time to study her; seeing her hair loose around her shoulders and her plain cotton dress ill-fitting. It was obvious she lived a very simple life, and yet…she looked so happy.

"We've been living with his family in Brighton. They welcomed us very generously, letting us live in a small house that was still on their property. Though the whole time knew I would not be able to stay there forever. I knew I had to come back," she said, looking at me as if I was a lost object that had just been found again.

"Why?" I asked, my voice raw. "Why did you come back at all?"

"Because," she began patiently, "I love you all too much. I mean, sure, I resented our parents for trying to force something on me, but they were desperate, and I know they still love me. But I mostly came back for you and Rachel. I could never abandon my little sisters."

I gave a small smile and reached across the table, grasping her hand in my own. "I'm glad you came back, Jackie."

She squeezed mine and said, "So am I."

Just then the waiter came back and asked for our orders and both of us, clearly distracted, ordered blindly before we were left by ourselves.

When we were alone, Jackie looked at me and said, "So, now it's your turn."

"My turn?" I questioned dumbly.

"Yes, tell me what you've been doing!"

"Well," I began hesitantly, "I married Erik soon after you left. He offered Mama and Father a large sum of money for my hand in marriage. He seemed decent, or, at least, better than Mister Mossberg who was my other option, and so we accepted."

"And, how is your husband?" she asked tentatively, knowing the fate of many girls who are put into an arranged marriage.

I gave a light smile, and upon seeing this, Jacqueline relaxed visibly.

"He's a very kind man. I am lucky. He treats me perfectly well and I am beginning to care deeply for him. We argue quite often though, but he is never cruel or disrespectful to me. I know he's trying his best to make me happy. Due to his…condition that I described earlier to you, going about marrying me the way he did seemed to be his only option," I explained, losing myself in thinking about my husband.

Jackie smiled, seemingly pleased with my answer, and said, "If he was kind enough to help arrange this he must care for you."

I grinned saying, "Yes, he does care about me."

"Now then," she folded her hands on the table, "I would not ask this in any sort of polite company or any tea or ball, but because it seems we have both distanced ourselves from that world and also because you are my little sister and I must know, I will ask only one question of you: do you love him?"

Relief instead of anger or embarrassment overtook me, for I was grateful to speak of this with someone. I could hardly talk to Nadir about it, or Rachel, as she would insist it was undying love before I even finished speaking, and I knew Jacqueline would listen quietly while I talked out my feelings. And so, that's what I did.

I told her of how at first I hated my life and resented him, but then how slowly Rachel's words sent me into a different state of mind, and how we became closer. I found myself telling her about what had happened to me two weeks ago while shopping, and how my only thoughts then were that I was afraid I would never see Erik again and that he would be alone. I explained all my pent up feelings and confused sentiments, and she just leaned across the table, listening, and she even pushed her food aside once it came, remaining silent when I was done, watching my play absently with my food.

"Well," she finally said, "I cannot tell you whether or not you love him. Only you know that, or at least your heart does. You just need to keep up with what your heart already knows. But I can tell you this: whatever you feel for him is good for you. I can already tell you are so different, and in a good way. I'm so happy for you, Audi."

I smiled, looking up and saying, "I'm happy for you too, Jackie."

The rest of the time went by too quickly, and soon enough, we rose to leave, she saying that George was probably already here to get her.

We walked to the front of the restaurant and found it was so, and I awkwardly shook his hand. It would take a while for us to become used to each other again, but in time, it would happen.

"Do you want us to wait for your husband to get you?"

I waved them away, shaking my head as I did so. "Oh no! He'll be here any moment. Don't trouble yourself over it."

I assured them a few more times, embraced them, made them promise they'd be in contact soon, and then they left.

I then walked out of the restaurant, taking a deep breath as I watched my sister's carriage pull away. Although the reunion with Jacqueline had been a happy and memorable experience, the blissful feeling evaporated almost immediately. This was the first time I had been alone outside the house since the attack, and I felt rising panic coming from the thought.

"Excuse me, sir? Do you have the time?" I asked a passing gentleman, who pulled out his pocket watch and proceeded to tell me it was seven fifty-five, and Erik was not due to pick me up until eight. I thanked the man and watched as he walked away, and I gulped nervously. I knew I just had to keep myself calm, because at that moment all of Erik's fears for me came rushing back to my mind; fears I had thought were silly, but now seemed quite possible.

He was always worried that I would somehow relive my experiences and it would cause some sort of angst for me, and up until then I had never been put into a situation where any flashbacks would come to me. I had battled the demons at night by sleeping next to Erik, but now I saw no way out of the anxiety that was slowly creeping over me.

The weather tonight was similar to how it had been that day; it was cloudy and cold and windy, and the fact that the sun had already sunk low on the horizon did not help in the slightest. I opened my eyes wider than usual, looking at everyone around me with suspicion. It seemed to me that the people near me were all vicious and were there to cause me harm. Although somewhere deep in the logical part of my mind I knew it was completely ludicrous to think this, but it did not take away the panic that was slowly seeping into my body.

Suddenly realizing I had left my back stupidly exposed, I gasped, looking behind me to see if anyone had approached me during my lack of attention, and it was then I saw the dark alleyway that loomed behind me and separated the two restaurants that coexisted next to one another. The alleyway reminded me of another place, a more _dangerous_ place, a place behind a small deli…

The rapid pounding in my chest was quick and unexpected and I leaned against the brick wall for support, inching slowly away from the dim and sinister passageway that looked like it would eat me alive if given the opportunity. I wanted to shut my eyes against the burning sensation that was suddenly in my ribcage, but I was afraid that if I did, some shadowy monster would slink up to me and take me for his own.

It took me several long seconds, perhaps thirty, to realize why my chest was hurting so badly: I had stopped breathing. Upon figuring this out, I heaved in some air, gasping at it as if I couldn't get enough, until I was practically choking on it.

"Is she alright?"

"Miss, miss, what's wrong?"

I heard voices around me but I couldn't register them or answer any of their questions. The one voice I wanted to hear—the most beautiful voice in the world—was not here, and so I would not answer until it was.

A moment later someone grabbed my wrist, and I gasped, immediately trying to pull away, but looked up to see a young woman with eyes full of concern staring at me.

"You're alright, just lean against the wall, that's it…now slide down, come on, you're almost there…"

I did as she said, deciding sitting sounded like a good thing, and soon I was seated on the dusty floor, my back against the wall of the restaurant and the young woman was beside me, stroking my back and trying to calm down whatever had possessed me. It did little good, and I continued wheezing for air like I was parched of it. A small crowd had gathered around me now, and everyone looked helpless at what to do. The closing group of people only made it worse, made me feel confined, and trapped.

"What is going on? Excuse me, _excuse_ me! Get out of my way!"

Erik was suddenly there beside me, bent gracefully on one knee and taking one of my hands in his own.

"What happened?" he demanded of the woman beside me.

"I believe she's suffering from some sort of panic attack," she responded, balking at my husband before standing and backing away slightly, as did everyone else around me.

"Audrey? Audrey, darling, look at me," he said, stroking my face anxiously.

I was finally able to turn my dull eyes to him before saying, "Erik?" It came out more like a gasp.

"Alright, okay, come here." I felt him lift me from behind my back and beneath my knees, and he held me to his chest, walking to the carriage that was parked at the curb, and the surrounding people parted like the Red Sea, watching warily as he took me into the coach and shut me out of their sight. Erik then grabbed both my hands is his and said, "Look at me, Audrey. Look at me," he repeated more sternly when I did not obey immediately. When I did he continued with, "Focus on my eyes, good girl…"

His eyes held my own in some sort of trance, and once I was centered on that he gently said, "Now keep your hand here—" he led my hand to his chest where I could feel the distinct rising and falling of his inhalation, "—and breathe with me."

I furrowed my brows, afraid to try and follow this daunting task, but now that Erik was here, nothing could harm me. I was safe. I concentrated on the movement beneath my palm and I did my best to match my own with his, and after a few minutes it seemed to work, and my heartbeat slowed down in unison. Following several long moments, I closed my eyes and leaned back against the velvet cushions, letting embarrassment seep over me now that I was in my right senses.

"I'm sorry," I said in a low voice, not daring to look at him. I let my hand fall away, but he caught it, taking my glove made of kid leather off of my hand and pressing two of his fingers to the inside of my wrist.

After he seemed satisfied with the decreased heartbeats, he let it drop and I curled it into my lap. He then said, "Why are you sorry?"

I opened my eyes and looked at him, slightly sheepish. "For making a spectacle of myself the first time you leave me alone in public," I explained.

"Audrey," he fixed his captivating eyes on me with such compassion I caught my breath, "you have nothing to be sorry about. I was waiting for something like this to happen. You have been all too…normal since you were attacked. It's only typical for something like this to happen after such a traumatic event. I feel guilty for letting you out alone so soon. I should have done no such thing."

I felt slightly apprehensive at that, and I looked at him fearfully. "You're not going to keep me confined to the house, are you?"

I saw the corners of his mouth turn up in a sad smile before he said, "No, my dear, I would never do that to you."

I sighed with relief, leaning with more comfort against the seat, taking off my second glove as I did so and flexing my fingers, which had become stiff inside the new gloves. I then looked at Erik who was watching me guardedly for any other signs of stress.

"How was the visit with your sister?"

"Wonderful. Thank you for arranging it. And thank you," I said, "for taking care of me when I panicked."

He looked away, trying not to seem too pleased with my gratefulness. I secretly think he liked taking care of me, of being needed by another human being…I was quite sure little of that had ever happened in his life.

He hesitated before speaking, as if thinking of the words carefully before he chose to say them. "That's what husbands are for."

I grinned into my lap. "Husband…," I repeated quietly, noticing the word did not bring the anger and resentment it used to, before looking out of the window to the icy world beyond.

The carriage rattled on.

--

**Genny's Note: I'm sorry this took so long. I had family out here all last week and was doing typical California tourist things with them and had not time to write. It took me a few days of writing this week to get it cranked out the way I wanted.**

**And what Audrey suffered earlier in this chapter is known today as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but it really wasn't founded as a real mental disease until the 1980s, I believe.**


	27. Intoxication Encore

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty-seven: Intoxication Encore  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for my enemies."_

_-Unknown_

--

_Audrey._

We arrived home that night quietly. We had been usually silent since we had gotten into the carriage. I had been deep in thought about my sister and the attack I had suffered, and Erik seemed to be in some sort of self-loathing, which wasn't unusual. But for once I could not find the words in my mind to make him feel better and to raise his guilt. My own mind was too scattered to worry about much else.

Upon entering the foyer, I announced I was going to take a hot bath and then go to bed. Erik nodded, saying he was going to work in his music room for a bit. After a moment of both of us awkwardly standing there, he turned to leave, but I called out after him.

"Erik?" I yelled, taking a step forward in case I was going to have to pursue him, but he turned and looked at me almost immediately.

"Yes?"

I crossed my arms self-consciously, rubbing my hands up and down them before saying, "Is it always going to be like this for me?"

He came closer, sensing my distress until he was right in front of me. "Like what?" he questioned.

"Like before…," I began. "With the panic, and the uneasiness, and the suspicions and…the fear," I ended in a whisper, feeling like a ridiculous child in need of consoling. Erik's expression changed drastically from worry to absolute sadness. "Because I don't want it to be," I finally murmured.

He gave a very heavy sigh, taking me tentatively in his arms and brushing away the few tears that had managed to escape from my eyes. "I can't answer that for you, Audrey. I hope dearly it is not always like that, but I can promise you nothing like what happened to you before is ever going to happen again. I will never let danger stalk you once more."

I nodded, feeling comforted by this, before embracing him fully, just letting myself feel safely incased in his arms for a few moments. But finally feeling a little embarrassed, I pulled away, thanked him, and then scampered off to my room for the rest of the night. Until I was very tired when I walked the expanse of the long hallway and entered Erik's room, ready to sleep.

--

Christmas, though techniquely over, had yet to be celebrated with our friends, and so two days later, Nadir, Erik and I made our way by carriage to the Comte's home where we would be exchanging presents.

We were welcomed warmly by Carmen herself, who after embracing each of us, led us to the drawing room where tasty pastries, tea, and her husband were all waiting for us. We dined gaily on the flaky and sugared treats and washed it down with tea that was too sweet and made me feel jittery.

"Now," Carmen said after about thirty minutes, "I believe it is time to exchange gifts. Yes?"

"Oh, please!" I said, clapping my hands together excitedly. I reached beside me into the parcel Erik and I had brought along with us and removed several packages, handing one to each person in the room with us, while everyone else did the same. I looked at Erik, grinning as I clutched my own gifts to me and he did the same, and noticed he looked a tad bit uncomfortable. I knew he was still getting used to being with the Comte and Comtess so often, especially in such a joyous situation, and so I reached out and grabbed one of his hands with my own, squeezing it reassuringly. He relaxed immediately.

"You first," I urged Nadir. I knew Erik was excited about what we had ended up getting him. While trying to think of ideas, Erik had shared that Nadir was Muslim and believed in Allah, which was the religion of his home country, Persia. This had led me to assume that Nadir was only celebrating Christmas to humor us, and by us, I mean me. And so I wanted to give him something special that would remind him of his home and his earlier life with his wife and child, of which Erik also told me about.

Suggesting this to Erik, he had agreed, and we had thought for the better part of a month until we got the idea for the perfect thing. I now smiled at Nadir encouragingly as he held the large package in his hands.

He ripped away the paper slowly, much to mine and my husband's impatience, but finally the gift was revealed. Erik and I had worked together on a painting for him, the painting of the home he used to live in with his family. Although I had never seen it, Erik had no trouble remembering what it looked like, which made him the prime artist. I didn't mind too much as art had never been my strong point. I had mostly sat in the room with Erik, quietly observing over his shoulder as the painting was worked on, and eventually finished. In front of the house were three figures: two were of a couple standing near the front door of the house, quietly observing the third person in the picture, which was a young boy, his son, playing in the yard.

As Erik had never met Nadir's wife, her profile was slightly hidden behind that of Nadir's, who in the painting looked younger and happier, and it made me sad to see.

Both Erik and I waited in breathless anticipation for his reaction and when he finally looked up at us, there were tears in his eyes which he hastily wiped away.

"Thank you—Audrey, Erik…I never thought I'd see them again, and yet, here they are…" He trailed off, looking back at the painting for several long moments before looking back at us. "Thank you. You do not know how much this means to me." Setting it aside, he stood and hugged me first, before bending down and embracing my husband, which surprised me. Never had I seen such an emotional display between the two, and I held my breath so as not to ruin the moment.

Once Nadir was seated again and more composed, he opened his second gift from the Montagues which were some of his favorite novels in his foreign tongue and bound in leather. They had gotten them after first asking Erik's opinion, and it was easy to see he was very pleased with his second gift.

It was then Montague's turn, who received a cigar box fully stocked from Erik and I, and some modest cufflinks from Nadir. We continued this way until everything was opened; until all of the handkerchiefs, bottles of port, new gloves, candles, china, and other things had been revealed to their new owner.

Everything but Nadir's gift for me, which he had for some strange reason wanted to save for last. Digging through his bag, he took out a piece of parchment and handed it to me.

I took it eagerly; looking down to see that on it was a crude sketch of a horse in charcoal. Not understanding, I looked at him hoping for an explanation.

Nadir smiled at me knowingly and said, "I am sorry for this. I am not the best artist, but I thought that bringing a live horse into this fine room would be inappropriate."

I looked from him to Erik, who looked just as confused as me, before back to Nadir and saying, "A…horse?"

"Yes, well, I have heard your younger sister mention before that you used to ride when you were younger, but haven't in quite some time," he began. "Consequently, a friend and neighbor of mine, who used to be a carriage driver, found a job elsewhere that paid more, and so he was trying to sell his carriage horses. He did…all but one. Because he had to move straight away he was just going to shoot it, but I thought it was a tragic waste, and so, I took the horse from him and he is now yours."

"A horse?" I squealed. "You got me a horse?"

"Nadir…," Erik began exasperated, but I cut him off by jumping up and hugging Nadir.

"Thank you!" I said. "Oh, thank you! I couldn't think of a better gift!"

His laughter reached my ears as he patted my back affectionately before I pulled away, looking at the drawing in my hands with an all new meaning.

"I will bring him over tomorrow," he said, looking pleased at my excitement.

"Perhaps I can learn to ride this horse like a man," I said, as I had never had much patience for riding side-saddle. You could never go as fast that way, and it prohibited much of the fun. I had always wanted to learn, but I had never found anyone to teach me or allow it. And Erik's snort of disbelief told me my luck hadn't changed, but I didn't let this dampen my happiness for long.

When everyone, mostly me, had settled down and everything was cleaned up and finished, the men went to retire to another room for some of the brandy and cigars that had been given.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes and the very manly thing being done, but I was glad Erik was going to go spend some time with his friends. I sent him off with a kiss on the cheek, and then Carmen and I were alone with the leftover sweets and our new gifts.

"Well, I hope you like your handkerchiefs," I said a tad awkwardly. Because even though we had been getting along very well these past few weeks, things could still be a little strange when we were left alone.

She took one of the handkerchiefs out of the box and held it up for inspection. They were white trimmed with pink lace and had her initials on them. I thought they were lovely, and had gotten myself some as well.

"They're exquisite," she said in a sincere voice before replacing it into the box they came in and looking at me with some other expression I could not decipher. "I have something else for you," she said finally, getting up and going to a china cabinet in the corner of the room. I turned in my chair to watch her curiously as she opened the compartment at the bottom and extracted a box that had a famous London dress store's name on it.

"Carmen, you really don't—"

"Hush," she interrupted me, thrusting the box into my hands. "I wanted to, but I did not want to give it to you in front of the men." She then smiled wickedly. "A secret weapon should remain a secret."

I looked at her with a blank expression, thinking that perhaps she should be committed, but opened the box at her impatient gesture. When I pulled away the light pink paper that concealed it, my breath hitched in my throat.

Inside the box lay the most beautiful silk nightgown I had ever seen. I extracted it, unfolding it so the entire thing was revealed to me.

It was a soft blue, with the intention of making my eyes stand out, no doubt, and was trimmed with a crème lace at the bosom, arm holes, and down at the bottom where it would touch my ankles. The sleeves were nonexistent, and I could see they would stop at my shoulders, leaving the entirety of my arms to be exposed. And though it was long enough to go down to my ankles, a slit in the leg that would easily reach my upper thigh had been cut out. It was obviously a gown meant for seduction, not comfort, and I found myself blushing furiously as I set it gently back into the box.

"Carmen…," I began. "It's beautiful, but—"

"Bloody hell! I did it again!" she huffed, reading the expression on my face rather quickly. She sat into the chair opposite of me, collapsing into it and crossing her arms across her chest. "This is not…appropriate, is it?" she asked mournfully.

She looked so upset that I did not want to be the one to tell her so, but I bit my lip, and looking down said, "Not really, no."

"In my family back in Spain, sex was never a thing to be shy about. It was just natural. I guess I never stopped to think that in this society such a gift would not be welcomed."

I set the box aside, moving to sit on the arm of her chair and I then placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It is very beautiful, Carmen, do not get me wrong, but it is just not a thing to be given in…polite company. Such a thing as that should be personally chosen."

Carmen gave a heavy sigh, touched my hand with her own, stood up, and faced me.

"Will you make a deal with me?" she asked,

I cocked my head slightly, wondering what I had just gotten myself into. "A deal?" I repeated questioningly.

"If you teach me the rules of society I will teach you something in return."

"Like what?"

A feral grin spread across her face as she slowly evaluated me, and then said, "I will teach you to ride your new horse like a man."

Stunned, and immediately excited, I said, "It sounds like a deal!"

"Perfect!"

"Wait!" I raised my eyebrows. "How do _you_ know how to ride like a man?" I asked.

Grinning she said, "From Spain. I rode with my older brothers all the time." She then flounced over to the china cabinet again, reaching into its depths. "Let's have a toast then," she said, extracting a bottle of port.

My eyes widened. "What else do you have in there?" I demanded.

She laughed, pulling me to my feet and grabbing two brandy cups from a table on the other side of the room, before tugging me down on the couch next to her. She uncorked the bottle swiftly, pouring a hefty amount into both glasses before setting aside the bottle and handing me one of the cups.

She held hers up and said, "To new deals."

I withdrew mine, not letting hers clink with it before saying, "And to new friendships." She smiled, repeated what I said and then we let them gently hit before we both threw our heads back and drank, emptying the entire contents of our glasses.

Much stronger than the wine or champagne I had had in my life, the potent alcohol made me feel as if I had been kicked in the stomach, and I couched for several moments before taking a greedy breath.

"You alright?" Carmen giggled, refilling my glass as I wheezed for her not to. "It's an acquired taste. You just have to get used to it."

She drank her second cup while I stared warily into my own. Remembering the last time I had gotten drunk did not make me want to go running into a similar experience.

"I think one is enough for me," I said, starting to hand it back to her.

"What? Are you afraid?" she asked sarcastically, reaching for my glass which I immediately held out of her reach.

"I most certainly am not!" I said, fuming.

"Well then," Carmen replied, filling her third one and hitting her cup against mine, "bottoms up."

--

**Genny's Note: First of all, please vote on the poll that is located on my profile. Second, I am terribly sorry this took so long to do, but with the beginning of September comes the start of school, and I am now a college student. Yay! So updates will be slower, but still pretty common. I apologize again for the delay.**

**Also, my bestfriendbeta suggested that I create a Twitter account to alert you guys of when I will be writing, when I expect to update, ect. I have added it as my homepage and I request you either follow it or check it regularly. That way, you will get more of a feel for when to expect your next updates. I promise I will not be posting what I'm doing with my friends or how much I hate homework on there. ****It will be exclusively things related to WT.**

**Now I am off to watch _Les Misérables _and I am going to eat popcorn with M&Ms as a reward. Review please (:**


	28. Inevitable

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty-eight: Inevitable  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_"At this moment there are six billion people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is one."_

_-Anonymous_

**--**

_Erik._

"Well, at least you know she had a good time," Nadir said helpfully, glancing at Audrey and I in the limited light provided from the moon.

I twisted my lips into a grim line as I eyed him unhappily. "I do not know if that is the point here," I snarled, shifting uneasily as I tried to balance the extra weight I held in a more comfortable fashion.

A low and indistinguishable moan reached my ears, causing both my friend and I to look down at Audrey, who was laying across my lap in a drunken sleep. She mumbled something inaudible and then smiled dreamily.

I gave a heavy sigh, before looking away and catching sight of Nadir pressing his lips together in a gesture of suppression. I glared at him, hoping to halt what I knew was coming, but this only seemed to enhance it, and a moment later he burst into a boisterous laugh.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said, waving one hand in front of me, while using the other one to cover his face to muffle his snicker. "It's just…you leave them alone for an hour, and you come back to find them completely and utterly drunk!" His voice was a wheeze as he tried to contain himself, and I looked away, giving him a moment to do so.

It, indeed, was only an hour that I spent with Montague and Nadir in one of the billiard rooms, only to return to collect my wife to find her stretched out on the floor next to Carmen, a partly filled glass in her hand. Neither noticed us, and Audrey lifted her glass, saying, "This one is to…to…er, what else should we drink to?"

Carmen, from her point beside her, held up her own glass, giggling, and said, "I think we've had a drink to everything imaginable!"

"No, no! That's not true," Audrey slurred as she attempted to sit up. "We didn't drink to, um…our husbands!"

"Suppose you're right about that," Carmen replied, and having much better luck at Audrey, sitting up and clinking her glass against Audrey's before yelling, "To our husbands," before downing the rest of her contents.

Still observing, and the two men behind me remained silent as well, we saw Audrey look at her glass, wrinkle her nose and say, "I don't think I want anymore," and then belched as if to enhance her meaning, which sent Carmen into hysterical giggles.

I had seen enough, and I barked my wife's name, and upon hearing my stern voice, she flinched and turned to look at me, and then back at Carmen.

"I think you got me in trouble," she whispered loudly before she began standing, using the couch as her support.

I reached forward to assist her in case she fell, and she did, indeed, sway against me. I caught her, holding her at arm's length and growling, "What do you think you are doing?"

Her eyes didn't focus, and she simply looked at me and smiled, before saying, "I think I'm ready to go home now."

A few minutes later I found myself carrying my wife to the carriage, an amused Nadir following me. Montague was very apologetic, but I had assured him it wasn't his fault, though we both agreed we could not even begin to guess whose idea it was to drink in the first place. Bidding him goodnight, I entered the carriage and let Audrey lay down where she was comfortably bunched my cloak on my lap to use as a pillow before immediately falling asleep.

When Nadir had finally composed himself, he looked at me with a stone serious expression and said, "I'm sorry, but you do have to admit, it is a little funny."

I turned my face away so he could not see the grin the surfaced there and said, "Perhaps a tad."

After dropping him off at his home, we returned to our own, where I instructed our driver to put our new gifts in our rooms while I took care of Audrey. I carried her to her room, and as I was doing so, her hand clutched the lapels of my coat and she buried her head into my chest, looking quite content to be there.

"Don't leave," she breathed so softly that if I did not have better trained ears I probably would not have heard anything.

I gripped her tighter to me, and looked at her, hesitating for an indefinite moment, considering. Would she really mind even if she was awake? She had done it of her own accord, and so me initiating the very same thing wouldn't be so terrible. And so, with infinite slowness I dipped my head and kissed her pretty pink lips, rather boldly I daresay, but as intoxicated as she was I did not think she would remember, before I whispered, "Never," in her ear.

I think she smiled.

Upon entering her room, I laid her on her bed and looked down at her curiously, knowing I could not leave her in her gown but at a loss of what to do. The maid walked in at that moment, and I sighed with relief, motioning towards Audrey immediately.

"Mrs. Destler has had too much to drink. Please change her into her nightgown and then get me in my study. I will take care of her from then," I instructed, leaving before she could say anything. I went into my study and locked the door behind me before collapsing in my chair and shakily taking off my mask, as beads of sweat had gathered on my face. I took out a handkerchief and wiped it dry.

Loving Audrey made me so weary. Keeping such a secret put so much strain on me. It was similar to keeping my Angel persona around Christine; tiring but necessary. How would she respond if I told her? Though we may be friends and care about one another, it was possible she only thought of me like a brother.

I cringed at that. Thinking of being nothing but a beloved family member in her mind was painful to think of; even for me. Would the rest of my days play out this way; me trying to keep this profound and weighty secret while she lived alongside me, oblivious?

A knock on the door shook me from my thoughts, and I decided to leave them for another day. My intoxicated wife would not be coherent at all for the rest of the night anyways and I might as well use the peace and quiet to sleep. I thanked the maid and sent her to bed before returning to Audrey's room to find her laying across her bed in her nightgown, almost as if she had not moved an inch.

I gave a light smile before I gently scooped her into my arms like a weightless child and carried her to my own room. I then set her down with endless care on the bed, pulling the blankets up to her chin as to cover the entrancing silhouette her thin nightgown casted. She being completely passed out did not help my self control either, and so covering her fully helped me to stay in my right mind.

After I changed myself I lay down next to her, turning down the lamp on the bedside table. I wasn't very tired, but both of us had a big day tomorrow and we needed rest.

I brushed her hair away from her face, and tucking it behind her ear, I whispered, "Good night, Audrey. I love you."

Telling her, even in sleep, made me feel better.

--

The next morning I awoke with a pit in my stomach knowing what was coming today, but I also knew it was best to just put it behind us so we could get on with our lives.

I rolled over to see to my surprise I was alone in the bed. Usually I was the first one up, and due to Audrey's condition last night, I expected this morning to especially be the first one awake.

I looked around, hoping to see her still in my room, and saw with relief she was standing at the window with a blanket wrapped around her.

"Audrey?"

She looked over at me and smiled slightly, and looking sheepish she said, "How drunk was I last night?"

I sat up and grabbed my own robe, putting it on and saying, "How drunk do you _think_ you were?"

She gave a small laugh, before replying, "I was intoxicated enough to not remember how I got here last night."

"Well," I ventured, coming to stand beside her, "it was not as bad as last time."

"Do you mean when I tried to take off your mask?"

Astonished, I blinked and looked at her with my mouth agape. "You said you didn't _remember_ what happened that night."

To my bewilderment she blushed and looked away, refusing to meet my steady gaze. "Oh dear, I forgot I had told you that."

"So you _do_ remember?" I questioned, but somehow, I was not angry.

She turned to look at me, wrapping the blanket tighter around herself as she did so. "Oh, Erik! I am so sorry. I was embarrassed of that night, and I was ashamed of what I tried to do. I thought it was best if we just both forgot it."

I lifted my hand, wanting to stroke her hair in reassurance, but thought better of it and let my hand fall again, my fingers tingling with the contact it had sought out. "Audrey, it is fine. It was a long time ago." I paused. "How are you feeling?"

She looked at me curiously before taking my hand, which was somehow still halfway extended towards her, and squeezing it gently. "Thank you, Erik. And I am feeling alright, certainly better than last time. Perhaps just a little foggy but that is all."

"That is very good, because we have something to do today."

She grinned widely before saying, "That is right! Nadir is bringing me my horse today!"

I cringed slightly, as that was not what I had been talking about, and the other thing we had to do would turn her excitement completely around. "Well, yes," I began, "but there is something else as well."

She seemed to sense the reluctance in my voice, and she stopped smiling immediately and took a step back to evaluate me. "Erik," she said, "what is it? You look positively stressed."

I let my eyes find hers, to try and lose myself in their clear blue depths and send some of my strength to her before saying, "Today, my dear, we have to go down to the jail so you can confirm we have captured the right men."

She stiffened instantaneously, furrowed her eyebrows, and looked away. "Oh," was all she said.

I waited for her to say something more but she did not, and I sighed, wishing that somehow I could make this whole experience go away for her, but I knew I could not, and so I said, "As soon as we do this Audrey, you can put this behind you and go on."

Audrey bobbed her head slightly in agreement and said, "I know, but it doesn't mean I am any more anxious to do this."

"I know," I said, damning those men to the deepest pit of hell as I did.

"You—you will come with me?" she asked, looking at me with the face of a scared and bewildered child.

"Of course, Audrey. I would never send you alone."

She nodded. "Then I will go. Just give me some time to ready myself."

I then watched my brave little wife leave the room to do just that.

--

The ride there was quiet, with Audrey looking out the window deep in thought. She wore a drab and conservative gray suit and a heavy black cloak to ward off the chill in the late December air. Her hair was pulled back in a severe bun that reminded me of Madame Giry with a matching gray hat atop her head. She held the air of seriousness and I only hoped we could get this over with quickly.

When we arrived, I waved off the driver and helped her out myself, putting a reassuring arm across her shoulders and pulling her close to me. I felt her lean onto me, if only a minimal amount. Normally I wouldn't seek out any physical contact without her first initiating it, but under the circumstances, I felt it was best and I had a feeling she wouldn't mind. She didn't.

After telling the guard why we were here, he began leading us down the hallway where the cells were located, and upon entering them, I felt Audrey shrug off my arm, and stung, looked down at her to see why. I saw her holding her head high and her eyes were steely. I could then understand what she did had nothing to do with me and she simply wanted to look strong in front of her attackers, as she must have looked weak the last time she had seen them.

I fell into step behind her, letting her have this moment, this one sure time she could stand up to them, and then perhaps, just perhaps, this entire experience would be easier to overcome.

The guard stopped and we did as well before he gestured to the men inside, still looking battered and bruised from the last time we had met. I gave a small satisfied smirk at this before turning my eyes to Audrey who was simply standing there, staring at them, a very enraged look on her face.

The men didn't even notice our presence until the guard said, "Are these the men, Mrs. Destler?"

The all looked up then, looked at Audrey, and then at me hovering in the shadows. I knew they could see my white mask, and I almost wished I had worn my black one so they would not have noticed me so easily, but they quickly shrank to the back of the cell upon seeing it, but I was only watching Audrey.

She took several steps forward until she was close enough to touch the cell door. I fought down my instinct to put myself in between Audrey and the men, and I remained rooted to where I was for her sake. I knew they would not do anything with me standing right here.

The look my wife gave them was one of pure hatred and astounding bravery and I watched, fascinated as the scene before me unfolded.

"Care to explain yourselves, gentlemen?" They did not answer straight away, and Audrey threw her arms at her side in rage and yelled, "Answer me!"

One of the more daring looking men glanced at me warily before looking back at her and saying, "We was just having some fun, that's all."

"Some…fun?" she repeated, incredulous. "Well I want you to know your 'fun' took my life and turned it into a nightmare. I have trouble sleeping or simply walking down the street because of you." She gave a bitter grin and then said, "But this probably brings you joy to know this, doesn't it? You sick bastards."

They all remained smartly quiet, though I knew if they had been alone they would have had a thing or two to say to her.

"I used to be afraid of you," she continued, "but now, all I can think about is how I hate you." And then taking a deep breath and crossing her arms she looked at them square in the face as she finished speaking. "I hate you so much. But you will not merit anymore of my time, or of my life. I hope you rot in hell." Glancing at the guard she said, "This is them."

She then bolted from the room so unexpectedly that I had to rush after her to keep up, quickening my pace so my long legs covered as much distance as she had running. We continued until we were outside in the freezing air. I saw her shivering, and assuming it was from the chill, I took off my own cloak and draped it around her shoulders.

"Audrey, come here," I commanded, trying to gently turn her to face me, and she came without much fuss. It took me a moment to realize she was not shaking from the cold weather, but from what had just occurred. "You were brilliant," I said, hoping to comfort her.

"Oh Erik," she said, sniffing and burying her head into my chest before beginning to sob. I put my arms around her, hoping to shush her cries, which let up rather quickly. When they did, she did not move her position, but said, "Please don't let me go."

Her voice, muffled, was still hard to understand, but I did so with little difficulty. I held her tighter against me and responded, "I will never let you go."

That day changed us both. Nothing was ever the same.

--

**Genny's Note: Is this considered a cliffhanger? Perhaps a very mild one. Thank you for all of your reviews on the previous chapter!**

**Now three favors from you guys: 1. Please vote on the poll on my profile. 2. Does anyone know how these men would be tried according to the time era? I could not find anything! If so, please drop me a line. And 3. Review(: **

**Oh, and a cookie to anyone who knows what the beginning quote is from.**


	29. Flying

Within Temptations©  
Chapter Twenty-nine: Flying  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues;__  
__Pursuing that that flies, and __flying__ what pursues."_

_-William Shakespeare_

**--**

_Audrey._

I closed the door gently, avoiding upsetting Echo who was snug in my arms. I had picked her up from the couch downstairs and she had barley stirred, cuddling instead into the crock of my neck. I set her softly on my bed, where she curled up on the corner and immediately went back to sleep.

I wished I could sleep as easily.

I was quite sure that such luxury would not bestow itself on me tonight. On this eve, I was being left to my own devises, and somehow I would need to fall asleep, and sleep _well_ in order to prove Erik wrong.

"Are you sure?" he'd said to me only ten minutes earlier, looking worriedly at me as I began gathering myself to go upstairs.

"Yes, Erik, I am sure!" I had snapped, somewhat irritably at his lack of belief in my ability; and for such a simple matter, really!

"Well, if—"

"Erik." I let out a shallow breath, taking his hands in mine. I did not want him to be upset with me, but at the same time I knew I had to be firm. "I'll be fine, and I'll just be down the hall. I promise that if it becomes too much, I will come back to you."

Though slightly comforted by my words, I knew it was not helping terribly much, but there was not a whole lot I could do to calm him mind. Once Erik was worried about something, he would remain so until the event passed. There was no persuading him otherwise.

The issue, of course, was something small, that he, of course, blew out of proportion. Now that I had seen my assailants behind bars, I had told Erik that I wanted to sleep in my own room that night, alone, just to prove to myself that I could. I still had night terrors and going out in a crowded public was not my favorite thing, but I knew that it could get better now that they had been arrested.

I changed from my uncomfortable and drab gray suit, and pulled on a comfortable nightgown that was beginning to yellow with age and over-use. It was not anything like the nightgown Carmen had given me the night before which I had hidden among my belongings before drinking with her, and had put it in the deepest corners of my closet upon returning home, blushing furiously at the thought of actually wearing it.

What Erik did not know, however, was that my wanting to sleep alone only had to do with proving something to myself only in small part. Another part, almost the entire thing, had consumed me all day and now I needed time to reflect on it without the endless distractions around.

Nadir, as promised, had brought me my new horse today that I immediately fell in love with. He was black with one white stocking on his front leg and a white star on his forehead. I was so surprised that his previous owner had been unable to sell him, and upon commenting on it, Nadir gave me a valid reason.

"I have not seen this to be true, but apparently he has a wicked temper."

"Well, that's alright," I had murmured, rubbing his soft snout with my ungloved hand. "I do too." I kissed his nose, stroking his forehead in a slow and ceaseless rhythm. "We're going to be great friends," I promised.

He seemed to get along with our two carriage horses quite well, and instructing our driver to get him comfortable in one of the many empty stalls we had, we left him to become acquainted with his new home.

I spent the remainder of the evening trying to shake Erik off, wanting to spend some time alone, but he simply refused to leave my side, doting on me as if I was a severely sick woman. I knew that me collapsing in his arms sobbing and ordering him to never let me go had not assured him in my mental health, but I honestly needed a little time and space to sort out the thoughts my brain would not release, and so making up the excuse of wanting to sleep alone that night seemed my best option.

Although it was early, only nine o'clock, I dimmed all the lights in my room, feeling strange for being in there. I may have been in there for such things as getting ready or reading, but I had spent every night since my attack in Erik's bedroom and so sitting on my own sheets felt strange.

I crossed my legs beneath my nightgown, adjusting it so that it lay gracefully over the twisted limbs. Echo hardly seemed to notice me, taking up a good half of the bed; she seemed stretched out to her maximum point, and did not look like she would be leaving any time soon. This suited me, as I did not want to be completely alone tonight. I knew that I could always go back to Erik's room, but that would be admitting defeat, and although I had changed very much since my marriage, defeat was still something I did not accept well.

I sat on my bed, motionless, and stared at my wall for several minutes, reflecting on the events of today. Then, looking at my nightstand, I remembered something I kept in there, and I opened the bottom drawer, and from its depths I rescued my old journal. I had started it a few months before meeting Erik, and could not remember the last time I had written in it, and so I opened it to find out.

Flipping to the last written page, I propped it up so the moonlight from my open window hit it, and began to read.

"_September 21st._

_Summer is officially over. I don't know whether to mourn the loss of the little sunshine we received, or to be happy that it is time to move on. Here, in Erik's home—our home, the days seem to blend together. Upon looking at my calendar to see what today was in order to date this entry, I started at the lateness of the month. It is only a week until Rachel's birthday!_

_I suppose I cannot deny the fact that Christmas drawing nearer is causing me excitement. I've always loved the season, but this year it is bringing larger things than just gifts. I hope that with the arrival of the holiday it will bring news of my elder sister, as well, for I miss her so terribly! She is the only one I feel I can speak to about my marriage and give me real, sound advice. Rachel does nothing but give me a lecture about how I need to discover I'm with my true love, and Mama and Father are no better. To them, I just need to be a respectable girl to my husband and begin producing heirs. My lack of that since our marriage in May has no doubt confused them, but I find myself relieved I am not with child. I am hardly an adult, and being responsible for another life does not suit me right now._

_Look at how pointless this all is! I've come here to write about my relationship with Erik, and I've simply been babbling on and on! Well, I suppose I am merely confused about a few things. I don't think I will be ever to love him, and the thought saddens me. How am I ever to go through my entire life without being in love? I thought I was in love with James, but I know now it was not so._

_Although a complete gentleman and willing to get me whatever I want, there is, a lot of the time, a lack of a bond. I suppose I had been living in some sort of fairytale thinking I could find a marriage full of love and connection after the entire James situation occurred. _

_But Erik makes me so sad! He has obviously lived a very difficult life, and I wish I could give him what he wants, what he deserves…_

_Oh! He is at my door. We are going out to lunch, and so I must part._

_Until Next Time,  
Audrey Jane __Destler."_

That had been my last entry, and with an itch to write in it again, I moved locations from my bed to my desk. I turned my lamp on high enough to be able to see, but low enough to make Erik still think I was sleeping. Taking a pen in my shaking hand, I began writing.

_"December 29th._

_It is funny to read old entries and see how I've grown. Although only three months ago, I find that many things in my last entry have changed—if not all of them. I wonder if in September, I saw where I was now and what was happening, if I would long to change anything._

_I suppose being almost raped was not a pleasant experience, and taking it back would be nice, but the consequences of that seem too severe. If that awful occurrence had not happened would I be where I was now? Would mine and Erik's relationship be as different as it is? Perhaps it would have just taken more time. But this is absurd, because there is nothing I can change, even if I wanted to._

_I deduce the things I am referring to is that, although a horrific and terrifying incident, my attack brought me unbelievably closer to Erik. I never saw how much I meant to my husband until I was almost taken away from him. Undeniably, if I had acted any slower, I would have probably lost my life that night. Where would that leave Erik? I guess I am being a tad vain, as it made me aware of my affection for him as well when I saw how protective he was over me after that._

_I guess you never really know what others mean to you until you are almost permanently separated._

_What I'm trying to say is that I am in love with him. Or, at least I _think _I am. Oh, dear! I was hoping that writing it down would solve any doubts I have, but I am wrong. I am almost as confused as I was when I started this bloody penning of feelings. What's the point anyways? It's not as if anyone but myself is going to read it._

_Though I suppose if Erik ever stumbled upon it he could easily read the secrets within…_

_That prospect is terrifying! So much so, I think I am done for the night. I will be needing to think more about this before I saw a word to Erik!_

_What if I tell him so, and he doesn't love me back? Oh, how horrible! I do believe it is time for sleep—the first time alone since my assault. I do hope this goes well so I do not seem vulnerable in front of Erik any longer._

_Until Next Time, Whenever That May Be,  
Audrey Destler."_

I set my pen down, staring at my script while I waited for the ink to dry. My hand ached from all the writing I had done and I rolled my wrist gently, massaging my fingers as I did. Every word I had written was truth, and that was what horrified me. Never in a thousand dreams had I ever thought I'd fall in love with a man like Erik.

He was frightening and entirely too powerful, though he never used that in any way that would hurt me. We had gotten into many arguments, where we screamed and slammed doors and tested each other just to see how far we could push one another, but he had never laid a hand on me. I never feared any of his anger turning physical; a luxury I knew many women did not have.

He was also possessive and over-protective, and could be controlling when it suited him, but he always attuned to my needs and wants at the same time. He was so contradicting I did not always know what to think.

There was, of course, the mystery of the mask. I sometimes forgot about it. It was as much a part of him as, say, his left arm. I wondered what lay beneath it. He had told me it was a deformity, and I could understand him wearing it in public, but would he ever show me? His own wife? I highly doubted it occurring anytime soon, but perhaps I could earn his trust and it would be more probable.

Testing the ink's wetness with my finger and finding it dry, I shut it and locked it in my desk drawer, hiding the key where my new lacy nightgown was. I looked at my clock, surprised to see an hour and a half had passed. Suddenly exhausted, I turned off all my lamps and slid in-between the cool covers next to Echo, being careful not to disturb her. I fell asleep almost the moment my head touched the pillow.

--

The next day dawned entirely too early, and entirely too bright. Snow had fallen again, and the sun's reflection off of it sent almost a blinding light into my eyes when I parted my curtains to look outside. From my window, I got a perfect view of the backyard and the stable house, and was surprised to see Erik leading my new horse from the stables and entirely saddled.

I watched for a moment, curious, as Erik pet his snout softly as he led him to an open clearing. From there, I could no longer see him. Wanting to know what he was up to, I quickly changed into a brown riding suit and laced up my riding boots. I grabbed a heavy cloak and threw it over my shoulders before pulling my long and untidy hair back into a chignon in the off-chance I was actually going to ride my horse this morning. I then flew down the stairs and to the back door, throwing it open only to be assaulted with the icy air.

I pulled my gloves on, flexing my fingers slightly to allow more flexibility as I walked through the soft snow, searching for my husband.

I found him a moment later, checking the saddle to make sure it was tight enough and fastened correctly. Before I could even call out a greeting, he turned in my direction, looking startled to see me there.

"Well, good morning, my dear."

"Morning," I replied, striding closer.

"You are up quite early," he commented.

Realizing I had not looked at a clock before leaving the house, I asked, "What time is it?"

"Seven," he replied, and then said, "How did you sleep last night?"

It was not an innocent question, and we both knew this, and so I was relieved I could answer it truthfully. "I slept quite well, thank you." And then I gave a large grin. "I told you I could do it."

He gave a soft smile in return, turning around to further check the horse. "I did not doubt that you could," he said softly.

Wanting to change the subject, I said, "What are you doing?" I stepped forward to pet the horse, wishing I had some sort of treat for him, and making a mental note to take carrots from the kitchen next time I went inside.

He gestured elegantly to the horse and said, "I simply wanted to make sure he was tame enough for you to ride."

I raised an eyebrow before saying, "Shouldn't _I _get to ride him?"

Erik looked nervously from me, to the horse, and back again. "I suppose you could…but only if I am here. We will have to take him back to the stable and get him fitted into a sidesaddle."

I pursed my lips, stepping in front of Erik before he could begin to lead the horse away. "Can I simply use this one? Please?"

"Audrey, it's not—"

"Oh, please!" I begged shamelessly. "Just this once! It's not as if anyone is here, and I don't feel like hiking back to the stables."

He visibly hesitated before finally agreeing. "Have you ever ridden with a leg on each side?"

I nodded my asset, walking over to the left side of the horse in order to mount up. "Yes. Jackie took me once."

He didn't question it, but went to stand next to me, looking exceptionally nervous. "Do you need help getting up?" He bent to offer me a boost.

I took it without arguing, seating myself on the horse and adjusting my many skirts and petticoats over my legs, knowing that they were revealing my calves and ankles, but I had stockings on, and so I did not really care. I saw Erik stare uncomfortably at me for a moment before he instructed me to take up the reins.

"Now," he began, "to get the horse to go you simply hit him lightly with your heels, and to get him to go left—"

"I know how to steer a horse, Erik," I said with humor, petting the horse's mane with slow precision, hoping he was going to be good for me. I needed to prove this to Erik, too.

"Alright," he said uncertainly, backing up a little bit. "Just walk him for now."

Following his instructions, I tapped him gently, and the horse, quivering with excitement below me, immediately began walking, and I steered him in a circle around Erik to show him I knew what I was doing.

The horse (I needed to name him still!) tossed his head and snorted with impatience, wanting to go faster than what we were doing. I had to agree with his thoughts.

"Very good," Erik grudgingly appraised.

I smiled and pulled him to a stop, rewarding the horse with a kiss on the side of his neck.

"Would you like to go get some breakfast now, and we can work with him later this morning?"

Although I wanted to ride a little longer, my stomach was protesting, and so I agreed, but asked Erik if I could at least ride him to the stables.

"Yes, but at a walk," he said sternly.

I didn't look him in the eye as I nodded, and as if reading my mind, the horse tossed his head again and nickered eagerly. Setting off at a walk, I waited a moment until Erik seemed comfortable with me riding, and after that, unable to resist, I dug my heels into the horse's sides.

And then I was flying.

--

**Genny's Note: I am so happy to have a chapter done! I apologize for its delay. College and a new job are eating away at my time, and when I do have time, I am too tired to even try to focus my mind on this. But I am quite pleased with this chapter, and I hope you are too!**

**Please review (:**


	30. The Unmasking

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty: The Unmasking  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_Fortune does not change men; it unmasks them."_

_-Susanne Curchod Necker_

**--**

_Erik._

The morning had been going considerably well. I had expected Audrey to be tired and in a foul mood due to lack of sleep, but to my great surprise, there were no dark circles underneath her exquisite eyes. She was also awake early and offering to help me with her new horse. And, astonishing of all, she was actually listening and obeying me!

I suppose I should have seen it coming, and I should not have let my guard down. I was always very good at reading people, and the moment before it happened, I saw something in Audrey's eyes that made my blood freeze before her horse began running, kicking up snow in its haste, which coated me from head to toe, I may add.

My heart stuttered in my chest like the flapping of a panicked bird's wings as I stared helplessly after her. My God, what if she fell off and broke her neck? What if the horse trampled her?

_What if, what if, what if…_

The stable was only about two hundred yards away, and I immediately started running after them. I was not dense, and I knew I could not catch up with the horse, but if she happened to fall off, I could be by her side more quickly. But to my immense relief, she arrived at the stable unscathed and hopped off the horse, refusing to look in my direction for I was sure she knew what was coming.

I stopped running. No need to look like a bloody fool when she was perfectly fine. It only took me half a minute to reach where she was standing, and when I did, she still did not face me. Infuriating girl! I crossed my arms beneath my cloak and cleared my throat, waiting for her to turn towards me.

She finally did, slowly, and with her bottom lip caught tantalizingly by her top row of teeth. Her expression reminded me of a puppy who had chewed up a good pair of gloves and knew that he was in trouble.

"Audrey, what the _hell _were—?"

To my intense dismay, she started to laugh, cutting me off with her high-pitched squealing and chortles. She waved her hand at me, gasping for breath in order to speak.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized breathlessly, "but you should see yourself!"

I, at first, thought she was talking about my expression or my stance, and so I immediately began to defend myself. "Well if you hadn't bluntly disobeyed me, I wouldn't have—"

"No, darling," she said, much to my surprise and softening me a little, "you are entirely _covered_ in snow!"

Now that she had brought it to my attention, I could feel its icy trickles melting on my skin and I looked down, seeing that it was true. Slightly embarrassed, I began dusting off my arms and legs. A giggle made me send daggers in Audrey's direction, but she didn't lose her amused face.

"Here," she said as she stepped forward. She then began helping me spill the snow back to the ground. Her small, soft hands touching my shoulders and back so tenderly made me catch my breath, and forget my anger. Once I was mostly snow-free, I would still have to change as I could feel the pieces that had fallen beneath my shirt beginning to melt, I half-scolded Audrey.

"You shouldn't have done that," I said with a controlled deep breath.

She cocked her head slightly, a small smile playing on her lips, as if she knew she was getting off easier than usual because of the previous occurrence. Her expression quickly became solemn as she nodded seriously.

"You're right," she lamented. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." And then she smiled.

I sighed. "Audrey, honestly, what if you had fallen off? What if you had gotten hurt?"

Innocence immediately turned to anger as she scoffed and folded her own arms across her stomach.

"Erik, I am not a child! We barley went anywhere, and I have ridden a horse before," she argued, eyebrows cinching together.

I narrowed my eyes. "But I told you not to, Audrey! That is the whole point. Besides the fact it was dangerous, you directly went against what I asked for you to do."

"Ah," she said mockingly. "The husband is the master. I apologize for forgetting about that."

"Audrey Jane," I growled, now extremely angry at her accusations. "I am not doing it to be a tyrant, but to keep you protected. Need I remind you what happened last time you neglected your safety and disobeyed me?"

The affect of my words on her could only be described as a wilting flower. Her arms uncrossed and fell to her sides; her shoulders drooped as did the expression on her face.

"You're right," she agreed. Then she reached up and gave me a small kiss on my uncovered cheek, thawing me. "I'm sorry. I know you're not trying to be controlling. Forgive me?"

And how could I not?

After instructing the stableman to take care of the horse, I watched Audrey kiss the horse's snout goodbye, before saying, "Goodbye, Blackbird!"

"Blackbird?" I questioned.

"Yes," she said, smiling. "He did make me fly, after all." And before I could say another word about the matter, she flitted to my side, wrapping her arms around my waist as we began walking towards the house. "I'm freezing! Let's go inside!"

My heart wavered unevenly as we did just that.

--

Audrey and I spent the rest of the afternoon working with the horse, whom she had dubbed Blackbird. And this time, she listened to everything I said, and she was unfalteringly patient with both my demands and the horse's stubbornness. It was obvious that her mind was elsewhere, and she continued making sloppy mistakes. Finally, at around four, I called it a day and we both went inside. I was disappointed when entered the house to witness Audrey going straight to her room and shutting the door.

She obviously had a lot on her mind, and though I craved her company, I let her go without any resistance. But I wouldn't let her escape me at dinner.

When that time came around about two hours later, I went to her room to retrieve her, also intent on asking her what had made her so absent minded the past day.

Knocking lightly on the door, in case she was asleep, I softly called her name. Upon hearing no response, I opened the door a little, expecting to see her stretched across her bed taking a nap, but to my astonishment, the room was empty!

Immediately suspicious, I inquired on her whereabouts to the maid, who had not seen her since we had come in earlier that afternoon.

Panicked, I began searching the house for her, loudly calling her name until it was painfully clear she was no longer in the house. There were several possibilities on where she had gone, the most likely being she had wandered off, for if someone would have come in and try to take her, I know she wouldn't have remained quiet. Besides the fact I would have known if someone had entered our home uninvited.

_Well, perhaps not, _I thought as I bounded towards the front door, _since I cannot seem to keep track of my own wife._

I opened the door, hoping to find her stargazing in the front yard or playing in the snow, but God only knows why she would be out here in this freezing weather. When I did not see her, I was about to run around the back, when a carriage entering our gates caught my attention. It did not look like my carriage, or my driver, and so I warily stood still, watching it approach with nothing short of suspicion.

It only took a moment for me to realize who it was, and so when Nadir stepped out of the cab, I was not surprised. I was, however, caught off guard to see him pull my wife out after him.

Relief swept through me and I looked angrily down on them, and Audrey shrank back a little, looking to Nadir for help who was staring back at me determinedly.

"I believe this belongs to you," he said with a touch of hilarity in his voice as he gestured towards Audrey, who glared at him for his choice of words.

"Indeed," I agreed, reaching around him to pull Audrey to me, who resisted but stumbled beside me a moment later.

"Thank you, Nadir," she said quietly, and I looked between them, trying to figure out what had conspired.

"It was not a problem, my dear," he responded, "and remember what I said."

She nodded, and infuriated, I dismissed Nadir rudely, not even inviting him inside, which was the polite thing to do. I dragged Audrey into the house, only releasing her arm once the door was closed, as if I was afraid she was going to run after my friend's carriage screaming not to leave her with my anger, of which was rapidly building.

I crossed my arms and glared at her, before saying, "Well?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Well…," she trailed off, considering.

Not wanting to wait for her response, I said, "Audrey, I do not know what has gotten into your head today, but you must tell me. Right. Now."

She looked alarmed for a moment, as if she didn't want to so, but finally said, "I just needed to speak to Nadir."

"And you had to go after him yourself?" I demanded harshly.

"No, I did not. I…um—" a pause, "—wrote him a message and he came and picked me up. So you see, I didn't really do anything dangerous. I was never alone."

Though rationally reasoned, she did not look triumphant, for she must have known that this would only make me angrier.

"_Nadir_ picked you up _without my knowledge?_" I growled, having half a mind to chase him down and demand what he had been thinking in practically kidnapping my wife.

"Oh, don't be mad at him!" she begged. "I had to plead with him not to tell you immediately when he found out you didn't know I was leaving! I just had to speak with him." I opened my mouth to retaliate, but she interrupted me with a glare. "Alone."

"Why?" I snapped, my patience running thin.

"I wanted his advice. You see, I need to have a word with you about something, but I was unsure when, or _if,_ I should tell you."

My anger escalated, higher and higher, as she finished speaking, until I exploded. "What the bloody hell could you tell him but not me? I am your _husband!_" I pointed at myself as I said this, and then jabbed a finger in her direction. "And you are my _wife_ and so you better start acting like it instead of disappearing and disobeying me every chance you get. I will _not_ tolerate this anymore. _Do you understand me_?"

She didn't flinch, only stood before me infuriatingly calm and collected. I think she knew I had a right to be upset, and so she was not trying to justify it.

"Would you like to know what I needed to tell you?"

I gave a small snort of disbelief, shaking my head at her. "My God," I whispered, "what do you think this whole conversation was about?"

"Erik—"

"If you would please enlighten me I would be most grateful," I sarcastically said, crossing my arms and waiting.

"Alright," she said, looking slightly nervous, and taking a deep breath as if she was about to take some great plunge. "I love you."

Believing I must have heard her wrong, I stuttered, "W-what?"

Hesitating, she waited a moment before saying, "I love you," again. I had not imagined it.

My anger fell, and then crashed. "Don't," I hissed, shaking my head.

"Don't what?" she asked, sounding hurt.

"I don't want to play games," I snapped, before opening my eyes, now more hurt than anything. "How dare _you?_"

"Erik—" she sighed, "—I'm not playing games."

"Audrey, I want you to go up to your room and stay there for the rest of the night. I do not wish to see you right now."

I began to turn away, my back hunched with the pain she had ripped through me with her false words. Nadir must have told her that I loved her, and they were playing an extremely cruel game with me! To make Audrey declare artificial love for me…why, the very idea was atrocious! They were using my newly instituted feelings against me and I could not take it. I ought to snap his neck for doing such a thing, and lock my wife away for going along with it. But for tonight, I would sulk alone in my music room.

"No," a voice behind me said, breaking me from my piteous thoughts.

I turned around quickly, and she faltered a step back when I did so, looking terrified at something on my face.

"What was that?" I asked disbelievingly.

"I won't go to my room. I need to talk to you."

Anger boiled, hot, in my veins. First, she toyed with me, and then she directly defied me again! I had had enough. It was time to remind her of a few things. "Insolent girl!" I yelled, truly livid again. "Do you dare disobey me _again? _What is this, the third time in less than twelve hours? Or is it more? I am beginning to lose count."

"Erik! Would you stop it?" she yelled back at me, though in a way that was not irate, just desperate. "I just want to talk to you."

"Talk? Talk! You want to talk! About what, Audrey? How you love a monster? How you are playing some brutal prank on me? Well now it's my turn to play games, darling! Here, I will show you the face you claim to love, and then we will see who wins this match!"

At that same moment, I ripped off the mask and threw it aside, listening to it clatter on the ground. I faced Audrey in full, wanting to show her what she declared to feel affection for, even if it was a hideous joke at my expense. She began this war, but I—I would finish it!

Audrey's face showed complete shock at first; mouth open and eyes wide at what I had revealed to her. But slowly, ever so slowly, her face fell into a neutral expression and silent tears fell down her cheeks. She did not cry out, or scream, or run away. We just stared at one another; the only sound in the room was my haggard breathing.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she took one step forward; hand extended and whispered, "Oh, Erik…"

"No," I jeered, stumbling back and putting the entire distance of the foyer in-between us. "I will not play your fixture any longer. Get out of my sight."

"Erik—" she finally hiccupped a sob as she staggered forward, "—_please..._"

"Leave me!" I screamed, grabbing the mask and replacing it onto my face. She did not move though, only causing me to become furious. I stepped frontward and shoved her towards the stairs roughly. "Go to your room. Now."

"If you'll just let me explain—"

"There is nothing to explain," I said tranquilly, almost businesslike. "I understand you are disgusted, but you cannot leave. You can never leave now."

"Erik!" she wailed, grabbing my hand in one last attempt. "This isn't what you think—"

I jerked away, before taking her wrists tightly in only one of my hands, pulling her to me, and whispering menacingly, "Go to your room and do not come out for the rest of the night." I pushed her from me, and she stumbled several feet back towards the stairs, looking at me with glassy and angered eyes.

"How could you?" she murmured, before turning away and running up the stairs.

I waited to hear her door slam before I began to cry.

--

**Genny's Note: Two weeks. That's how long it has been since I've updated. It is terrible but I have school and work, even if I'd rather be writing my guts out. Anyone want to pay me minimum wage for writing this story?**

**On my profile there a summary to my new story, which I have been working on lately. It is titled **_**Interim**_** and I would appreciate if you read the summary and told me what you think.**

**Also, do review! I've missed you guys terribly.**


	31. And Somtimes You'll Find

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty-one: Found  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."_

_-William Shakespeare_

**--**

_Audrey._

I have never been the kind of person who lies on their bed and blubbers about how unfair life is. If there is something wrong, I will do my best to go and personally change it instead of moping around feeling sorry for myself. The closest I have come to this would have to be when I first became engaged to Erik and I felt my life was over.

And now, the second time has occurred. For after confessing my love and being maliciously sent away from him, I ran into my room, slammed my door shut, locked it, and collapsed on my bed in a frenzy of tears.

How could he have been so cruel? I admitted I loved him, and he accused me of playing a prank on him! Does he honestly think me so cruel and heartless? It must be so.

I cried long into the night. It seemed like my sobs were not going to let up, and it stole my breath away. I was gasping and hiccupping until my chest contracted with the pain from it, and I finally forced myself to calm down. Exhausted, I lay on my bed, with my head upon my pillow which was soaked with my salty tears. The house was eerily quiet; there were no living sounds within it, no noises of footsteps to make it feel like there was someone else inside.

I wondered what Erik was doing at that moment.

My answer came in the echo of footsteps down the hall that finally stopped at my door. I held my breath, trying to stop the sobs I felt were coming. Finally, after an elongated pause, he tried the door, and upon finding it locked he gave a long and tired sigh.

"Audrey?" he whispered, and that word held so much pain, so much suffering that a sob came out, and I was unable to stop it. But I still didn't move. I couldn't speak with him yet, and so I lay on my bed, waiting to hear his retreating footfalls. It was quiet for such a long while, I thought he had left and I had just not heard it. But finally, he spoke again. "I will stay out here until you allow me to come in and talk with you." I heard a thump, as if someone had sat down on the ground, and then my door moved slowly with the weight of his back leaning upon it.

Still unable to get up and let him in, I lay my head back down, cried for a little longer, and fell into a fitful sleep.

--

The next morning I woke up feeling worse than either of the mornings I had after drinking the night before. My chest and throat still hurt from crying, and my hair had stuck to my face from the tears and had crusted over slightly. My head pounded, and I was thirsty. I sat up slowly, as to not cause further pain to my head, and I gathered myself up slowly to walk across the room to my vanity.

I cringed upon seeing my reflection. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy and my hair stuck to my face wasn't any more pretty. How I longed for a warm bath! But that would require stepping outside the boundaries of my room, and if Erik was still there, I had no intention of leaving for a very, very long time. I would prolong it as long as possible. But for now, I would clean myself up as best as I could.

Grabbing a good brush, I peeled my hair from my face, and took out all the pins and clips that were still there from the night before. I then brushed out each piece of hair slowly and with precision. It took me the better part of ten minutes, and when I was finished, it lay soft and gleaming on my back. Luckily for me, there was a bowl of water on my vanity from the morning before, and I used the water to splash on my face and clean it.

After drying off, I felt a lot better, and looked it too, admittedly, but now I didn't know what to do with myself. Last night's sadness had swiftly turned to anger, and I was afraid to face Erik. What could we possibly say to one another? Did he love me back? I couldn't see how he could not with the way reacted last night. If he hadn't truly cared for me, would playing a sick joke, although it hadn't been a tale, hurt him so terribly?

I could not comprehend, but I knew we were going to have to talk it out, and soon, before both of us went insane from it.

"Excuse me, sir? Will you and your wife be having breakfast?"

I paused upon hearing our maid's voice and froze; this meant Erik was still outside my door! I held my breath just in time to hear his reply.

"No, and why don't you take the day off? I'll pay you early today and give you a small extra sum so you can go to London for the day?"

I heard her excited voice express her agreement and gratitude, and then the sound of money being handed over, and then silence as she left.

_Damn_! Erik had sent the only other person who lived in the house away and so now I was forced to be alone with him. I would have to leave my room at some point, as my stomach was beginning to become fussy since I had not eaten dinner the night before.

But perhaps he would leave sometime soon and I could sneak downstairs and grab some food before retreating back to my room.

I waited for an hour, reading on my bed and listening closely, but things did not change. It seemed I would be stuck in here for quite some time.

When another hour passed, I was beginning to get extremely restless. I could not stay cooped up in my room, and it seemed Erik was beginning to feel the same. I heard him get up, and I froze right away, knowing he could break down the door if he truly wanted, and that I was not completely safe in here.

I heard another sigh, much like the one from the night before, and then a knock sounded on my door, more firm that it had been previously.

"Audrey," he said, sounding exasperated, "this is becoming ridiculous. It is past lunch. You must be hungry." When I still did not say anything, I thought I heard a choked sob, but his voice betrayed nothing when he spoke again. "Please, Audrey. I will make you something to eat and we can talk afterwards. No words until then."

I hesitated. The offer was tempting, as I was very hungry, and he had promised to let me eat in peace, and I knew that I would have to talk to him eventually, so I might as well not prolong it.

And so I stood, smoothing down the wrinkled from the black dress I had put on when I had first woken, and slowly crossed the room. I opened the door slowly to reveal Erik standing on the other side. He was wearing clothes from the night before, which looked wrinkled and unkempt. His hair was a mess, and he looked exhausted. I would have doubted he slept at all the night before.

Upon seeing his mask, I remembered what I had seen the night before. Funny, I hadn't really thought of it since last night. I was mostly hurt about what had been said, and not shown. I knew he had a deformity, and so seeing it was true was not all that surprising. True, the skin had been puckered and thinly stretched across the veins and bones of his face and it was awful to look at, but I was not the type of girl to swoon at such a thing.

Basing everything on looks was ridiculous, anyways. After a while, you never newly saw them. How they looked was just…how they looked. Not something to be thought of every moment of the day.

This realization surprised even me, but I still looked at him with hard eyes before saying, "Fine."

Looking immensely relieved, he led me down the stairs, but never touched me. I think he knew better at the moment.

When we entered the kitchen I sat upon one of the barstools as I had that day we had made breakfast. It was only a month ago when that had occurred, but so much had changed. So many new feelings had been discovered, but new fears had been as well.

Refusing to look at him, or help him as I had before, I looked at my fingers which drummed on the countertop as he walked around the kitchen, preparing some sort of food. Now that I was in his presence, I was no longer hungry, but when he set a steaming bowl of soup in front of me, my mouth watered, and I immediately began eating. He sat in front of me, both of us pointedly looking away from one another and not speaking.

I wished that the soup could last forever so I did not have to face what was next, but it was all too soon gone, and I couldn't fake still being hungry, for if I ate anymore, I would become sick to my stomach.

After the dishes were cleared and put away he said, "Will you join me in the library?"

I quietly agreed, this time, letting him go first. He looked over his shoulder every few moments, as if to confirm I was still following. When I entered, I went to the corner of the room and sat in my favorite plush chair, and waited for him to sit down.

When he did, I looked away, pointedly staring outside of the window.

Silence ensued for almost a full minute before Erik whispered hoarsely, "I'm sorry."

Anger I had been feeling since the incident returned, and I met his tortured eyes, making my own hard and emotionless.

"How could you do such a thing?" I demanded.

"I—I did not think you were telling the truth," he said, having the decency to look ashamed.

"What you did is still not justified," I snapped. "Even if you did not at first believe me, you did not have to react in such a way. We could have talked it out like civilized human beings and perhaps this entire thing—"

"Was what you said true?" he interrupted me, as if he had not been paying attention to a word I had said.

"Erik!" I snapped. "Weren't you listening?"

"Audrey," he gasped out, looking at me with what could only be described as angry desperation. "Please just answer me! _Was it true?_"

Realizing I may have been going about this the wrong way. He didn't need a scolding, he needed assurance. No one had ever loved him in his entire life, and I could not scorn him as everyone else had. I breathed out a deep sigh, looking away, as I was embarrassed now. But I knew he needed this, and so did I, and so I said, "Yes, Erik, it's true."

"What's true?" he demanded, looking down at his lap, refusing to meet my gaze as surely as I was avoiding his.

I nibbled on my lip, twisting my fingers anxiously. I had said it last night, why must I say it again? We both knew exactly what it was, and I did not understand the games we were playing.

"Erik," I began, "you know—"

"Audrey." His eyes found mine, and they refused to let me break the startling gaze he gave me. "Please, say it again. This is the one thing I ask from you."

I knew I had to say it, that there was no other way he would believe me unless I said it again. This moment was fragile for us both, and so I took a deep breath, called upon my courage, and said, "I love you."

As soon as the words were said, he broke the gaze and dipped his head low into his chest, his hands rising up to cover his face. Although he emitted no sounds like I had the night before, I knew he had begun to cry.

At a loss of what to do, I said, "Erik?" tentatively, but still gained no response. I knew this moment was still delicate and easily broken, and I also knew I would have to take control of the situation for us to make any progress, as Erik was too timid. So I stood from my chair and bent down on my knees in front of his own, gently grabbed his wrists and tried to pry his hands away from his face.

"Erik, look at me," I softly said, and when he finally did, I saw I had been right and that there were tears sparkling in his eyes.

When he saw my position, he tugged me to my feet, saying, "Do not kneel," and pulled me into his lab. I held him and let him cry on my shoulder for a little longer while making shushing noises as he so often had done for me in the past month, and finally he stilled, and all was quiet until he spoke again.

"I love you, Audrey, but I'm not good enough for you," he said, his voice devoid of all emotion.

I pulled away, feeling brave as I looked into his face. "Why?" I demanded.

"Have you seen yourself? You're beautiful," he said, brushing my hair away from my face, still looking at me with disbelief.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately?" I asked gently, hoping I was playing my cards correctly and I would win in the end.

"I avoid mirrors at any cost," he said bitterly, which was what I figured he would say.

I gave a light smile, hoping to soothe his nerves before saying, "Well, I'll tell you then. So are you."

"So am I, what?" he asked, looking at me curiously.

"You're beautiful," I said simply.

"I don't believe that. I don't believe that you could believe that." He moved me off of him and stood. Apparently my words had caused him some sort of pain, and I realized suddenly he could think I was joking again. His back was turned to me and I stepped forward, crossing my arms defiantly as I often did when I was trying to have my way with him.

"Well you better get used to it," I said, my tone leaving no room for argument. "The world may see you in a different light, but I see you as you truly are. You're going to have to do a lot to change my mind." I stood tall and sure, hoping he would turn around, and apparently I had said something right, because he did turn, looking completely shocked.

"What if I want you to keep thinking that, even if it's wrong?"

A triumphant smile crossed my face. "Then, I think we've reached a compromise." And then I kissed him.

--

**Genny's Note: Slightly shorter this time around, but it was quick, so who's complaining? Just needed this chapter out to tie up loose ends. We've got a few more to go, and for those of you wondering where the hell Christine is…she will make her appearance soon. Be patient (:**

**And I got a new job today! Yay! I'm working at the Disney Store now. And I have two weeks until I start and so more free time to get some more chapters out.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful and supportive views last time! I hope this chapter was just as satisfying,**


	32. Bliss

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty-two: Bliss  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_Love is about seeing an imperfect person perfectly."_

_-Unknown_

--

_Erik.  
Six Months Later.  
June 21__st__. _

Ecstasy. That's the only word that describes the last six months. After Audrey and I both admitted we loved one another, a great weight lifted off my shoulders. She had seen my face, had seen my terrifying anger, and yet she still loved me! She even asked me not to wear the mask anymore, something that took great getting used to.

"Erik, please," she implored, "you need not worry about what I think anymore. I have seen it and accepted it, and I swear I will not leave you."

Still uncomfortable with it, I tried to explain to her why. "Audrey, you must understand I have lived my whole life with this." I passed my hand over the mask so she would understand to which I was referring to. "To simply not wear it anymore will take great getting used to."

She frowned, the motion causing a wrinkle to come between her eyebrows. I touched my finger gently to it, smoothing it out until it was flat once again, and she looked lovingly at me.

"Come here," she said, and upon moving closer, she pried my mask off and I flinched slowly, but her hands on my cheeks brought me back to her. She pulled my lips down to her own, and she gave me a long and loving kiss that left us both gasping, but she pulled away before any more desire could be released.

"This is the face I love," she said, stroking gently the malformed and bumpy skin. "I like to be able to see how you're feeling by your expressions instead of guessing. I don't want you to hide from me."

She buried her face in my chest, wrapping her arms around my neck, and tentatively, I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her closer to me. It still felt strange to be able to hold her and touch her as I please. Though I was becoming more accustomed to it, especially since the night before Audrey had let me get as close to her as humanely possible, and we shared a night of passion I never thought I would be able to have with anyone.

She had officially moved into my bedroom, all her dresses, jewelry, and other things were now in my room. I had happily cleared out space in the closet and in my dressers for her, and she only went into her room sometimes to write in a journal I never knew she kept until recently.

I could tell that even that the maid was happy for us. Though a quiet girl, Adele would smile at us when she was near to witness us casually touching each other or smiling or sneaking kisses when we thought she wasn't looking.

Audrey's family, as well, seemed happy for us. Well, her sisters did anyways. I honestly think that although her parents did care for their middle daughter, love and marriage did not coincide with their lives, and so it made little different to them. Rachel on the other hand always gave us knowing looks when she was around us, as if she had known the entire time this was how it would end up. Audrey had told me of the countless times she had lectured her about being content and happy and realizing she was with her true love.

"Do you think she really knew?" I had asked, wondering if Rachel had actually had a sense about this.

Audrey laughed. "Honestly? Probably not. I think she would have said that about anyone I ended up with." Upon seeing my expression that had gone down a little she bent forward and kissed my cheek. "She was right, anyways."

As for Jacqueline, I had begun seeing her more often as well. I had taken a liking to her immediately. She acted as if the mask was not there, and she was kind and courteous. It was obvious she and Audrey shared a special bond, and so I let her and her sisters see each other quite often, sending them with a chaperone and some money to spend the day out occasionally.

Jacqueline's husband, George was also a good man. He had come over only a few times, but he was as kind as his wife, and he and Audrey seemed to be content in one another's company. He and I also had a few long talks, and it turned out he was intelligent in many areas, making him a fine person to visit with Nadir and I when the women were out gallivanting around.

Introducing both Jacqueline and her husband to the Montagues turned out to be a success as well, and soon all three couples, including Audrey and myself, were visiting one another quite frequently, Nadir and Rachel coming along more often than not, though because she was young, Rachel was not able to go as much, a fact that seemed to irritate her immensely.

On this particular afternoon, Rachel was over and she and Audrey were in the drawing room visiting. Deciding to leave them alone, I invited Nadir over so I had something to do while the women were together, and he arrived quite promptly.

We immediately entered a discussion concerning recent events. He had been gone for a month on a trip to the English countryside that I had paid for, since he had cancelled his trip to help Audrey and me with the police, and he wanted to know what had been happening. I was surprised to find I missed him in his absence, and I embraced him when he came.

"Nadir, my friend, I have missed you," I said honestly.

He embraced me in return, and patted my back before pulling away, "As have I, Erik. How have you been? Although you look positively contented."

I grinned as we took a seat, and I nodded. "I do have to admit, Nadir, this has been the happiest two months in my life. To think this can continue for the rest of my life…it is almost implausible."

"Well you better become used to it," he said, "as I don't think Audrey plans on letting you go any time soon."

"Neither do I plan on going anywhere or letting her go."

"So," Nadir said with a devious smile that immediately made me suspicious, "can I expect to be an uncle soon?"

I looked at him, stunned for a moment, before opening my mouth and saying, "Well…I—"

"Is it possible?"

I knew the only way to quiet him would be to answer him, and so I said, "Yes, I suppose it is possible." I knew I did not blush, but if I did, I knew I would be doing so at the moment.

I turned the tables then, saying, "So how was your trip?"

He told me a little about it, about the relaxation and the lake he had been near, and the contented afternoons he had spent fishing or simply gazing out on the water, but then he said, "And I met a woman."

Looking to him, surprised, I saw that he _was_ blushing and I grinned slightly. "And who is this woman?"

"She is of middle class and never married. Her name is Dana and she was visiting from London. Her sister and brother-law passed away five years ago, and she is raising their child, whom I also met. She is darling."

"And is Dana darling as well?" I asked, in a teasing tone.

We talked a bit longer about her and his experiences with her, making her laugh and smile, and agreeing to visit one another when she returned to London in two weeks.

The afternoon dwindled down slowly, and soon, both Rachel and Nadir left, and as much as I liked them both, I was happy to be with my wife once again. I wrapped my arm around her waist as we watched their carriages leave and I kissed the top of her head.

"How was the visit with Nadir?" she asked as we made our way to the dining room where our dinner was going to be served in five minutes.

"It was nice," I said. "Turns out he met a woman while he was away."

Audrey gasped before saying, "He did _not_! Oh, I hope it works out for him! He deserves it!"

I agreed with her, knowing that my closest friend deserved happiness and I wished the best for him. Hopefully when this woman returned to London in two weeks, he could begin to court her. I knew Audrey would help give him ideas of how to go about it, and he would gratefully accept her help.

"How was your afternoon with your sister?" I asked after updating her on everything Nadir told me.

"It was pleasant," she said, and then gained a strange look on her face, "and enlightening."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "How so?"

She shook her head, and then smiled, "Nothing, darling."

Confused, but not seeing anything in her eyes that said something was wrong, I let it drop and we ate our dinner in compatible silence.

"I cannot believe June is almost over," she said after a short time. "It seems the months have flown by." She sighed contentedly. "Erik," she said, her voice suddenly curious, "I cannot believe I have never asked before, I apologize for never doing so, but when is your birthday?"

I immediately became flustered, as I did whenever she asked me a more personal question, and although I had been getting better at opening up, there was no way around this particular question. So I cleared my throat, and said, "I do not know my birthday. I never celebrated it with anyone."

Her jaw dropped, and her fork hung in midair as she stared at me, completely shocked. "You _don't_?"

"No, I'm afraid my birth was never a day to celebrate, and so I was never told of the date," I replied, hoping this was the end of the conversation, but because Audrey, was, well…Audrey, it was not.

"That is completely inappropriate; we must make a day for you!"

And to my astonishment, she stood from the table and left, going down the hall. I watched her go, flabbergasted, before following her. She made it to my study, opened the door, and went inside, and I came in after her.

She grabbed a piece of blank parchment and a pen and began writing down numbers.

"What are you doing?" I asked, confused.

"Hush, you'll see."

After a few minutes she asked me to grab two hats off the hat rack in the corner of the room which I promptly did, still trying to figure out what was going on.

After a few minutes, she ripped apart the paper, folded each square, and put them in the hats. One hat visibly had more than the other and the shook them up, mixing the papers.

"In one hat, I put the numbers one through twelve, to represent months, and in the other, one through thirty-one to represent days." She then glared at me with a nonnegotiable stare. "We are going to pick your birthday right now, and this will be your birthday for the rest of your life."

I gave a light smile, loving the spirit my wife possessed, and so obliged her, reaching my hand into the hat containing the number of days. Unfolding the paper, I saw I drew a thirty-one. Reaching into the other hat, I drew a two, and Audrey and I both looked at each other and she giggled.

"Only you would draw out a date that does not exist. Try again," she instructed.

I did so, chuckling, before pulling out a date that turned out to be March twenty-first: a month from today.

Audrey, pleased, smiled and took the papers from my hands. "March twenty-first," she said, "be sure to write your birthday down."

"I shall," I replied, and then bent down and kissed her. "Thank you for caring."

She bent forward and gave me another kiss and said, "You're welcome."

--

The rest of the night was spent in the music room where I composed and occasionally stopped and played a new of Audrey's favorite pieces and she smiled at me from her perch across the room. After we did that for a bit, she said she was going to go upstairs and begin readying for bed, and I told her I would join her shortly.

I had a hard time sleeping as much as she did, and so a lot of our nights together were spent with her sleeping in my arms, and I awake just thinking of how lucky I was.

Tonight, though, I was quite tired, and so I decided to go to the kitchen and get some water before retiring as well.

A timid knock on the door stopped me, and I curiously looked at the clock on the nearby wall to see it was ten o'clock. Who could possibly be here at this late hour?

I saw Adele come from another room in the house, and head towards the foyer, and so I slowly followed her, keeping to the shadows so she would not see me.

I wanted to be nearby in case someone not too kind was dwelling behind the door, and I was also just plain curious. I stood several yards away as Adele opened the door slowly and cautiously, and then I saw her immediately relax. Perhaps it was someone we knew after all, but whom? I was about to step forward to see, when the voice that spoke froze me in place. The person introduced themselves and then asked if I was home. Adele bobbed her head in a nod while I stood, completely in shock.

"Yes, he is, but let me go and see if he is willing to receive you."

As she turned around, I stepped from my hidden vantage point and said, my voice shaking, "That will do, Adele. I will receive our guest in the library. Go on and help Audrey."

"As you wish sir," she said, curtseying before hurrying off to help Audrey ready for bed.

I watched her go, before looking to the stairs to see if Audrey had come out upon hearing the knock, and seeing she did not, I went over to the door, and opened it slowly. What I saw on the other side shocked me to my core, and I, at first, thought I was hallucinating.

"I'm sorry for the late intrusion," Christine said, stepping into the small light that was available. "May I come in?"

--

**Genny's Note: Cliffhanger? Ahem. Yes, yes it is. But again, it came out quickly, and some good news is that I have the next chapter written! It's one I wrote over the summer so I am happy to finally use it. I will probably post that one Wednesday, but if I get more reviews, I shall post Tuesday!**

**Yes, I am bartering with reviews, but most authors will understand why. And sorry this chapter is shorter! It was just more of a necessary filler. Next one is definitely longer. You just wait to see what I have in store for you (:**


	33. Round Two

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty-three: Round Two  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_You should've said no,  
you should've gone home.  
You should've thought twice before you let it all go.  
You should've known that what you did with her would get back to me.  
I should've been there, in the back of your mind.  
I shouldn't be asking myself "Why?"_

_Taylor Swift, _You Should've Said No.

--

_Audrey._

I watched as Rachel shifted uncomfortably, giving an irritable sigh and looking off testily into the distance.

I eyed her curiously, and then said, "Dealing with the curse?" I guessed.

She looked at me and mournfully nodded. "I hate this dreadful thing. It is so painful at times."

I nodded my agreement, knowing the bloating and pain and sensitivity that usually came along with it, but that was not what I was thinking of when I lapsed into silence. The cycle should have been mine at the moment and mine four weeks before as well. March was the last time it had occurred, and I had been so busy being happy, I had not thought about it until now. The absence of it had been a blessing and I hadn't thought it was because something else was occurring inside my body. But now that I thought it through, I knew it was entirely possible. That, in the depths of my body, I was carrying something else, _someone_ else…

That was when other pieces of the puzzle began to make sense. I had been feeling a little queasy in the mornings, but I had really thought nothing of it. My appetite had definitely increased, and I remembered all the times Erik watched with humor as I inhaled seconds and thirds of everything at each meal.

But the thought of me being pregnant was completely impossible to wrap my head around. It was absolutely probable, and I knew it was to be expected eventually, but it was so strange! My parents were probably wondering why it had not happened yet, but they didn't know that there were lack of those kinds of activities in the first few months of our marriage. I was so unlike my mother, who had become pregnant three months after marrying, and Jackie who had followed in her footsteps. Almost a year had gone by, but it now seemed I wasn't so different after all.

"Audrey?"

I looked questioningly at my sister, my mind doing its best to retrace itself to the moment instead of to another time and another situation. It took it several seconds to trudge back but when it did I blinked and said, "Yes?"

"Have you heard a word I said?"

I looked down with guilt as I said, "No, I'm sorry. I just have other things on my mind."

"Why, Audrey! You're dreadfully pale!"

I looked over to a lamp beside me and saw my reflection in the silver base and saw that, indeed, all the color had drained from my face.

"What's wrong?" she hedged.

I didn't want the first person I told to be Rachel. I wanted it to be Erik, and until then, I would keep this secret for myself. And so I forced a smile as I gently shook my head. "Nothing, Rachel. Erik and I rowed earlier today and I was thinking of how to apologize, that's all."

A complete lie, as Erik and I rarely fought anymore, and when it was, it was mostly playful. He wasn't the kind of husband who would restrict his wife just because he thought her weaker and inferior. Physically, I was weaker, of course, but I knew Erik saw and appreciated the strength inside me, and he would never treat me as lower than himself, as other husbands tended to do.

Though, Rachel did not know this, and so she nodded, and continued with her story from before, and like a good older sister, I pushed my personal thoughts from my head and leaned forward, listening intently.

--

Later that night, I glanced out my bedroom window, twisting my fingers gently while the maid took out my hairpins and let my hair fall down my shoulders. So much had happened in the last few months, and none of which I had anticipated.

A year ago I was still a selfish and conniving bitch; someone who was too wrapped up in her own vanity to perceive anything else in the world. It had really been outside my notice that my life could turn out in a way I had not expected it to. I had always thought James Hollingsworth and I would be married, be the envy of everyone in society, and have the most beautiful children. It's interesting to see how strange life can become in such a short amount of time, and how you'll want to hate the new developments with all your being, and can deny happiness for so long that it wears you down.

Once I opened my eyes and saw my life was not as horrible as I had been making it out to be, I started to notice the good things it possessed: laughter, companionship…love.

"Could you please fetch my husband for me?" I asked, wanting to spend some time with him before I went to bed.

She took a moment to answer, and when she did, her words were not what I expected. "He has a guest with him tonight, Mrs. Destler."

"Oh," I said, surprised as I had not heard anyone come in, before saying, "Is it Nadir?"

I looked in the mirror and saw her purse her lips. "No, ma'am. It was a woman."

"A woman?" I asked, even more confused. "Was it Mrs. Montague?" Though I could not fathom why she would be visiting my husband at such a late hour and without me present.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Destler, no. She introduced herself as Christine de Chagny."

"Christine?" I asked, breathless as I remembered Erik whispering that name as he fell asleep on our wedding night. "Which room are they in?"

"I believe they are in the library," she responded.

I stood, immensely suspicious, but commanded Adele to await my return before leaving my room silently. I traveled down the hallway and stairs upon quiet feet until I was at the library door, which was cracked open. I hesitated for a moment, licking my lips slowly before cocking my head towards it, and listening very carefully. The first thing I heard was a soft sigh, and not masculine, like Erik's, but feminine.

"You know, Erik, I always think about the day I left you, and wonder why I did. I always wonder what would have happened if I would have stayed with you that night, instead of going with Raoul. I'll never understand why I left," a woman's voice said.

Distrust coursed through my veins, and I furrowed my brows, hesitating for a moment before I held my breath and risked a look inside the room. What I saw shocked me to my very core, which was my husband and a young and pretty woman advancing towards each other. Only a second more passed before they kissed; a soft and gentle kiss, and one that did not look like it was going to end very soon.

I gave a small gasp, turning my back to the scene, only dawdling for a moment before biting my lip to keep from crying out and then running up the stairs as quietly as I could.

I knew when we had married, he had been in love with another girl, but I thought his time with me had changed his mind, and that I was the woman he was in love with now, and seeing it was not so made my heart pound painfully in my chest.

But there was no way I would stay around with a cheating husband, no matter how much I loved him. But with a shock I remembered the discovery I had had earlier today and I panicked. Did I really want to leave and have my child grow up without the support of my husband? Would we be able to make it? Or would I just be condemning him or her?

_Jackie will help, _I assured myself, _and so will Rachel. You'll be alright._

And so, decision made, I entered my room, and grabbed a bag from my closet and threw it on my bed.

"Miss, what's going on? What are you doing?" my maid asked fearfully, seeing the tears upon my face.

"I cannot stay here another moment!" I cried, opening the bag and throwing random belongings into it: dresses, clothes, jewelry… I only paused when I grabbed the music box Erik had made me for Christmas. It was my most prized belonging, but I felt the sudden urge to chuck it across the room and hear the gratifying splintering sound it would make. I almost did, actually raising it over my head for a moment, before I realized I could not do it, and I simply dropped it on the bed.

I could not destroy it, but I would not take it with me, either.

"Miss, you cannot leave!" the maid implored, grabbing my hand, trying to stop me from packing more clothing.

"I can, and I will!" I said, yanking my arm away. "He is downstairs _kissing_ another woman, and I am expected to just sit here? I will not!"

I snapped the bag closed and threw on my cloak, fastening the clasp at my throat and grabbing the sack before pushing past the maid and running downstairs.

I crept down the steps quietly, not wanting Erik to come out and discover me leaving. As angry as I was with him, I did not want him storming out and demanding I not run off. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that.

So when I reached the foyer, I did not pause, and I went to the door, flinging it open in my haste to escape. I almost did not notice there was a person standing on the other side, and slammed into him efficiently before seeing I was not alone.

I gasped and stumbled backwards, trying to see who this strange man on my porch was. Looking into his face I saw he was a young and handsome man. His blonde hair was pulled back into a leather band, and his face was actually quite feminine. Only a mustache determined his sex. His eyes were a light blue, and his nose was straight and aristocratic. In short, he looked like almost every other man I had seen at a ball or a tea party, and I was unsure whether or not I had met him before.

"Is she there?" he questioned suddenly, craning his neck around me to see inside the house. "Is she here?"

"Is who here?" I asked, before deciding I didn't care. I needed to leave before Erik discovered I was parting. "Oh, get out of my way!" I demanded harshly, trying to push past him.

But he grabbed my upper arm roughly and forced me to look at him. "Where is my wife?"

"Get off me!" I snapped, trying vainly to free my arm.

"Where is she?" he growled.

I hesitated, before spitting out, "Perhaps she's readying herself to seduce someone else's husband."

"What?" he asked and not being quiet about it next when he shouted, "Christine? Christine!" His hand gripped tighter around my arm, and it was pounding with an almost bruising pain. Although mostly over my assault two months ago, I still became rather startled when people touched me unexpectedly or forcefully, and so this man grasping me made me go frantic.

"I said to let go of me!" I yelled, starting to become hysterical.

"What the bloody hell—?"

We both looked over to the third-party voice that had joined us, and I saw Erik step from the shadows. He stopped speaking immediately, his eyes taking in the scene before him. I saw him look from me, to the unknown man, and then down to his hand wrapped around my arm before saying in a murderous voice, "Let her go."

I tried again to pull my arm away, and this time succeeded. I crossed them, looking at my husband before saying, "You son-of-a-bitch—"

"Christine?" the man beside me asked as the woman that I had seen kissing Erik only a moment ago came up behind him. He then looked at Erik, and said, "You dare bewitch my wife again, you monster?"

I looked from him, to the woman, and back before saying, "Your wife? This woman is your wife? I thought she was a common whore from Whitechapel. " Everyone looked at me in shocked silence before I said, "I just saw her kissing _my_ husband." I then looked at Erik with my steeliest gaze. "You thought I didn't see, didn't you?"

Erik simply stared at me with an open mouth, unable to speak which angered me even more. If there was one thing that hurt me further, it was the fact that he could not give me some sort of explanation.

I heard the sound of metal sliding against a sheath, and it forced my eyes away from Erik. I saw that the other man had drawn his sword and was stepping towards me. Pushing me violently out of the way and forcing me to slam against the door frame, he proceeded towards my husband and Christine.

"I am going to do what I should have done before, and this time, I won't let my wife stop me," he said in a low voice, keeping his eyes on Erik.

The young woman's eyes widened, before she whispered, "Raoul," in warning.

It seemed that Raoul was not the only one prepared, and I saw Erik remove a sword too, stretching out his other arm to push Christine back.

"How dare you touch my wife," he growled, taking a step forward towards Raoul.

"You touched mine," he volleyed back, sounding like a child who was fighting over a favored toy.

Before I knew what was happening, my husband had launched himself at the younger man named Raoul, and I heard their swords clash in a mighty sound. I gasped and startled away from the commotion, angling myself unconsciously towards Christine who had screamed, "No!" right as it had begun happening.

The first sound of their swords connecting was not the last, and soon the foyer was filled with their loud resonances as both men circled each other in battle.

"Stop!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air. "Stop this, you _idiots_!"

They paid me no heed, and soon they were fighting with even more ferocity than before. I looked at the woman next to me, whose doe-like eyes were fixed upon her husband, her hands drawn up to her face as tears pooled her eyes.

I grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her as I said, "We must do something!" She did not respond to me, she did not even look at me. I realized then I was on my own and she had already adopted the role of helpless victim.

I had forgotten completely of Erik's involvement with this other woman, and any history they may have shared previous to our marriage. It did not matter anymore. All that mattered was that this other man was trying to harm my husband, the man I had declared my love for only two months before. And without any further thought, I threw myself at his attacker.

I grabbed at Raoul, trying to wrestle his arms down, but he shrugged me off easily.

"Audrey, don't be foolish! Get away!" Erik commanded, balking, and letting his eyes only stray to me for a moment before settling themselves back on his enemy.

I ignored him, thinking for only a moment before hurling myself at him again, practically jumping on his back in an attempt to grapple the sword from his grasp so it could not hurt my husband.

But he would not be dazed, and he shook me off again, forcing me to stumble backwards. In doing so, my foot caught on the hem on my dress, compelling me to trip and fall painlessly to the floor. I angled myself to drop onto my side, catching myself on my elbow so nothing would harm the child inside me. It was then I noticed his advancement on Erik, and without any more deliberation, I scrambled across the ground towards his feet, wrapping my arms around his ankles in an attempt to throw off his balance. But upon feeling my restraint, he began to kick his foot violently, attempting to escape my grasp, his shoe grazing my lip as he did so.

As his foot lifted a second time, I took the opportunity to grab it, pulling it with all of my strength. I heard him gasp, and then I saw him wobble before falling onto his side, where I immediately released him and scooted myself backwards. I heard Erik's intake of breath before his sword clattered to the ground.

The next thing I knew, Erik was lifting me up by my armpits, dragging me away from Raoul and putting himself between me and the younger man, but I pulled away and hissed, "Don't touch me." Now that he was safe, he was once again the despicable man he had been five minutes earlier.

Erik stared at me with a pained expression and I stared unfalteringly back, keeping my own face blank. It was then we heard Christine's distressed cry and looking over, I saw her sink to her husband's side, and I noticed the ankle he had fallen on was twisted at an odd angle.

"Oh, dear! Your ankle!" she cried before reaching down a hand to stupidly touch it. Raoul hissed in pain and pushed her hands away.

"Audrey—your lip," Erik said in distress, and that was when I noticed the throbbing and I could feel some sort of liquid leaking slowly down from it. I touched my fingers gently to it, pulling them away to reveal blood.

I then looked back at the couple lying on my foyer floor before saying, "He will need medical attention." An idea was forming in my head when I looked back at Erik. "And since this whole bloody thing was your fault I expect you to help him to our carriage and take him personally to a doctor."

Erik gaped at me with a wounded look, as if he had not heard a thing I had said. He swallowed audibly and then whispered, "Audrey, I'm so incredibly sorry."

My eyes found his as I tried to look in their depths and see if he was speaking any truth. I took a step forward, wanting to embrace him, and I saw his eyes soften at something in my expression. But instead of saying what I wanted, that I loved him and that I forgave him, I snatched the handkerchief from his breast pocket and held it to my bleeding lip, before saying venomously, "I'll call the carriage around." I turned to do just that, wanting to have a private word with our driver as well.

A moment later, with Christine supporting her husband, we all walked to the coach in silence, letting the light rainw ash over us. After both of them were safely in, I began to follow them, before Erik grabbed me gently and said, "Audrey, please! I am so sorry."

I shook him off, trying to hold in the sobs that longed to escape. "They always are," I replied, and then climbed into the carriage after them, listening while Erik sighed and followed us in.

--

**Genny's Note: Hmmm. What does Audrey have up her sleeve? And what was Erik thinking? Do not fear; we will be exploring this in the next chapter. He has a side, and a damn good one, and you will know it soon enough. Hopefully Audrey will too.**

**Told you I'd update Tuesday! Reviews please (:**


	34. Through Different Eyes

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty-four: Through Different Eyes  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_"Where there is love, there is pain."_  
_-Anonymous_

--

_Erik._

Seeing Christine in my home was…unnerving, to say the least. What on Earth did she want? And was this entire exchange going to be problematic with Audrey? Perhaps I could tell her to come back during daylight, a time when my wife and I could properly greet her. But I saw her cab lumbering away from my home already, and I knew I could always have my driver take her back to wherever she had come from, but it would be quite rude.

Besides, I was curious as to why she would show up on my doorstep after three years. What could she possibly need from me? And so, deciding to find out and then send her on her way, I invited her inside.

My shock still had not worn off as I led Christine to the large and lush library we had downstairs. Upon entering, I saw the couch in which Audrey and I had spent many afternoons together, reading, or just sitting there in one another's embrace and talking about our goals and dreams of the future. This image steeled me, and when I faced Christine, it was with resolve on my face.

"Madame de Chagny," I said, completely formal, "what brings you to my home at such a late hour and without your husband?"

She looked hurt for a moment, as if wondering how I could address her so coolly, but she recovered rather quickly, asking if she may sit down first. I gestured for her to seat herself in one of the chairs, which she did, before I stood across from her by the same couch I had been looking at only a moment before.

"Erik," she began, and I almost corrected her, to tell her to call me Monsieur Destler, but decided against it, "I have been searching for you for some time."

I leaned back, raising my eyebrows as I did so. "Well that is…surprising. Tell me, who helped you achieve his task?" I was honestly inquisitive, as I knew there was no possible way it had been the Victome. I was sure his distain of me had not adjusted in the last three years.

"Madame Giry," she finally said after some obvious hesitation, as if she was wary for giving away her accomplice.

"I see," I said slowly, "and what is the reason for your visit?"

At that moment, I could honestly look upon this girl and feel no longing. She was a child I had loved at one time. I had loved her innocence, her capacity for good, but she was, as I stated before, a child. When I had met Audrey, her courage and complete disregard for the way typical women acted was refreshing and bracing, and I loved her now, just as surely as she loved me. I would not let anything ruin that.

The awkwardness of the room rose, and she shifted in discomfort, looking away at my unfaltering gaze. My mind strayed to the worst possible thought, and without thinking, I blurted, "Has that boy done something to you?"

Her startled eyes met my own before she hastened to assure me that, no; he had not done anything besides be a wonderful husband. Her gaze took me in then, almost with a look of relief that I had asked after her wellbeing. I cursed my clumsy and untrained tongue. I did not want her thinking that there was anything left between us.

"Well," I said with a touch of impatience, "what can I help you with then?"

Apparently she was having difficulty saying so, and got up when I posed this question, pacing to the other side of the room to look out the window as Audrey often did. But this woman was not Audrey. I had to remember that.

"I suppose I just wanted…to be sure," she finally said.

"Sure?" I asked with hesitance, wondering where this entire mad conversation could possibly be going.

"That I made the right decision," she finished. And then she sighed heavily, before looking at me again, with a slightly ashamed expression on her face. "You know, Erik, I always think about the day I left you, and wonder why I did. I always wonder what would have happened if I would have stayed with you that night, instead of going with Raoul. I'll never understand why I left."

As she came forward, I knew what she was about to do, that it was wrong, for both of us, but I was powerless to stop it. She came to me and kissed me gently, nothing like the kiss three long years ago. This one was not full of the passion and hatred and desperation like the last one, but it was not filled with love and certainty either, but rather skepticism and hesitation.

I pushed away from her only a moment later, ignoring her injured and confused glance as I put the length of the room between us.

"Christine," I said, "this is wrong."

"I know," she said, looking shameful. "This is not fair to Raoul." She wrung her hands nervously as she spoke, before looking at me for some sort of direction like she always used to.

"Yes, you're right," I said, "it isn't fair to Raoul. And," I took a deep breath, "it isn't fair to Audrey, either."

Confusion immediately sprung on her face, and she cocked her head gently, a gesture I always used to find endearing. I felt nothing now.

"Audrey?" she repeated.

"My wife," I clarified, "who is upstairs in our bedroom waiting for me to come to bed."

"Oh, dear," she said, her hands drawn up to her mouth as she turned away. "I'm such a fool. I'm sorry, Erik! If I would have known—"

"It is alright, Christine," I soothed. And it was. I had put her behind me, and now maybe, she could do the same with me. We now lived different lives with our spouses and our friends, and it was time we finally ended things forever. "You did not know. I should have never let the kiss occur, because I knew of your husband and my wife."

"All I wanted…I just…I needed to be sure I made the right decision." Her tear-filled eyes turned to me then. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

I softened, knowing I caused this, however indirectly, before I said, "Would you have wanted to stay with me if I had forced you to?"

She bit her lip, looking away and saying, "That's what Madame Giry said, that no matter who I chose, I would always wonder."

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck, wondering how we were going to end this, when I heard voices down the hall in the direction of the foyer. It sounded like Audrey! If she found me alone with Christine, I would be doomed. I heard another voice mixed with hers, but they were too low to hear their true words, until I heard Audrey yell, "Get off me!"

Christine and I both looked at one another, and I reached inside my coat to find my Punjab lasso was not there. Damn it all! But I knew there was a sword in the cupboard here, and so I retrieved it, before instructing Christine to stay in the library before I strode out into the hall and towards the voices rising in my foyer.

As I got closer, I heard a male voice shouting Christine's name, and I heard Audrey yell, "I said to let go of me!"

I ran in the direction of the voices, saying, "What the bloody hell—?" but I froze upon rounding the corner. Near the entrance to my home stood my wife, and de Chagny with his arm wrapped around her upper arm. Fury pounded in my veins, and I took a precarious step forward, oblivious to the sound of Christine coming up behind me.

"Let her go," I commanded dangerously.

"You son-of-a-bitch—" Audrey started to say, and I thought she was talking to Raoul, but was confused that her eyes were upon me.

"Christine?" Raoul questioned to her, who was standing at my shoulder. His eyes then focused on me, "You dare bewitch my wife again, you monster?"

I saw Audrey look between them in confusion before saying, "Your wife? This woman is your wife? I thought she was a common whore from Whitechapel. " Silence ensued, and we all looked at her in shock. Upon seeing our glances, she began to defend herself quickly. "I just saw her kissing _my_ husband." She then fixed me with the sternest gaze, one which made my heart freeze mid-beat. "You thought I didn't see, didn't you?"

I panicked. How the devil had she seen us? Of the entire conversation we had she to come in during the two seconds Christine had kissed me!

"I am going to do what I should have done before, and this time, I won't let my wife stop me," Raoul said, taking my thoughts away from my wife and back to the terrible situation at hand. As he said this, he removed a sword from a sheath at his hip, and stepped forward, violently pushing Audrey out of his path, forcing ice to come over my body.

How did he have the_ courage_ to touch Audrey in such a way, and in my presence?

I heard Christine whisper her husband's name, as if it would stop him, and I stretched my arm out to keep her from coming forward while I removed my own sword.

"How dare you touch my wife," I growled, walking a bit towards him.

"You touched mine," he replied.

I snapped then, jumping forward in order to strike him with my weapon, and a fight immediately arose, one that should have taken place three years ago. But now, there was nothing at stake, nothing to fight over but hurt feelings and delayed settlings.

"Stop!" I heard Audrey shout. "Stop this, you _idiots_!"

Neither of us bothered to listen, and as we circled one another, it was apparent he would be easily beaten. His technique was that of an amateur, and he continued making simple mistakes. I was waiting for the opportune moment to take him down, when something happened that almost made my heart jump from my stomach with its eager pounding.

Audrey had thrown herself at Raoul, attempting to wrestle the sword from his grasp, and I began only blocking his advances, not wanting to accidently strike her with the deadly weapon.

"Audrey, don't be foolish! Get away!" I snapped, doing my best under the circumstances, and was relieved when Raoul shook her off.

But my daft wife attempted again, this time practically climbing upon his back in her battle for control, but my small spouse was no match for him, and he easily jolted her off again, but this time she tumbled to the floor, landing on her side, and then I could spare her no more glances in order to protect myself, but I knew I had to finish this, and soon, before my wife or Christine were hurt.

But, to my great surprise, the Victome began to stumble, and soon, he too, fell to the floor. I looked to see what the cause of this was, and saw Audrey scooting away from him. I gasped, dropping my sword and running over to help her off the ground. I lifted her to her feet and then drug her to the other side of the room, putting some much needed distance between us.

But Audrey pulled away as soon as she was able, saying, "Don't touch me," as she did so.

I took an obedient step back, my face folding in on itself in what could only be described as pain. She had seen us together. What would happen now?

"Oh, dear! Your ankle!"

We both looked over at Christine who sank to the floor to inspect her husband, but I wasn't looking at them anymore. I was distracted by the blood that was trickling down Audrey's split lip that she gained, no doubt, from de Chagny.

"Audrey—your lip," I said, and she looked at me, confused, before she touched her lip and looked at her now bloodied fingers.

It did not faze her, for a moment later, she said, "He will need medical attention," she announced, before looking at me. "And since this whole bloody thing was your fault I expect you to help him to our carriage and take him personally to a doctor."

I stared at her in disbelief, wondering how she could be so emotionless about the entire thing. I swallowed the lump in my throat before whispering, "Audrey, I'm so incredibly sorry."

She looked at me for a moment, hard and deep, as if trying to see through my very soul. Her face fell, and finally some emotion came to it, which was better than none at all. She looked so upset, so _betrayed_ that I hated myself more in that moment than any other in my entire life. How could such a lovely creature love me? And how could I ruin it? I was a fool.

But just about the time she looked like she was going to say something meaningful, her face hardened again and she snatched my handkerchief and pressed it to her lip.

"I'll call the carriage around," she said, before turning around defiantly, and walking outside to do so.

Not too long later, the four of us stood outside the cab, and I waited until the de Chagnys had climbed inside before grabbing Audrey gently by arm and saying, "Audrey, please! I am so sorry."

She jerked her arm away. "They always are," she snapped before climbing in after them, and with little choice, I followed them in.

The carriage ride was a quiet one. After all, what do you say after all that had happened? The only sounds were Christine occasionally fretting uselessly over Raoul's ankle, and Raoul's upset and impatient sighs. Audrey was completely quiet, her back to all of us as she stared steadily out the window.

I did not notice in what direction we were headed in, and was surprised when we came to a stop earlier than I thought we would. Audrey was immediately alert, straightening before letting herself out of the carriage and slamming the door behind her.

Confused and worried, I opened my own door to gaze at where we were at, surprised to see it was the mansion in which housed Carmen Montague and her husband. Immediately knowing what Audrey was up to, I started after her, but stopped abruptly upon realizing if I left, Raoul would take Christine away and I would never see her again.

I turned around and our eyes met, and she seemed to understand the same thing as I had at that moment: that right now I was being given a choice, and if I went after Audrey, we would never see one another again.

She gave a small smile, and nodded at me, and then gestured in the direction my wife had run off to. I gave a formal bow, and said, "I apologize for the inconvenience. You may have my driver take you to the doctor's. I will find my own way home." I then nodded back at Christine before turning towards the path Audrey had taken before running up it, not even turning to watch the carriage as it rattled down the road away from me, taking its occupants from me forever.

Audrey had not gotten far, and I saw her in the open doorway of the Montagues, and a very confused butler in her wake.

"But I _must_ see Carmen right now!" she demanded.

"I am terribly sorry, Mrs. Destler, but it is much too late. Perhaps if you return tomorrow—"

"Bloody hell!" she yelled, stamping her foot. "Tell her it is me and I am _sure_ she will see me!"

"Edgar? What is going on down there?" I heard Carmen's voice inquire from inside, before she appeared beside her butler in her nightgown and a dressing robe. Upon seeing Audrey, she bullied him away and told him to next time come and get her when one of her dearest friends was at the door and in such distress!

"Really," she continued, "it's not as if I would turn her away!" She then caught sight of her friend's face: the blood, the tears, and the despair. "My God, what's happened to you?"

"Audrey," I said, stepping from my hiding spot. "Can I speak with you, for just one moment?"

She whipped around to look at me, and then back at Carmen, before saying, "I will be only a minute."

"Will you be alright?" she asked with concern.

Audrey nodded, gave a small sniffle, and motioned her friend away.

Carmen nodded, looked at me with suspicion, and then went inside, closing the door behind her to give us some privacy.

When we were alone, we looked at each other, and I opened my mouth to say something, but Audrey beat me in doing so.

"How could you?" she demanded.

"Audrey," I said, pained, "it was not what it looked like."

She snorted, shaking her head as she did so. "As if I _that _isn't the oldest excuse in the book." She fixed me with a steely gaze before saying, "So you were _not_ kissing another woman, in _our_ home?"

Blast. That's exactly what I had been doing! But how did I make her see that it had meant nothing, that I had turned Christine away to remain with her?

"Well, for the record, _she_ kissed _me._"

Audrey shook her head again, smiling bitterly. "As if _that_ matters. Why was she here anyways? She's married, and you are married. You shouldn't have been anywhere near one another!"

The weather outside was still cold, as was typical in England at night, and I saw Audrey wrap her arms around herself as she began to shiver.

"Please," I begged, starting to become slightly angry that she was not listening to anything I was saying, "let us just go home and discuss this."

"Erik," she said with a sigh, "I need time."

I gave a small growl; for there was no way that my wife would leave me. I had sworn we would never be separated. "I will _not_ leave here without you," I hissed. "You are my wife until death do us part, or do you forget that you vowed it?"

"Ah, yes, but I can now divorce you under terms of adultery," she threatened triumphantly. "And if that is not what you want, you will leave me here with Carmen and come back in forty-eight hours where we will discuss matters calmly and I will tell you my decision."

I took in a fuming and shuddering breath, knowing I was stuck, but very reluctant to leave here without her. "Forty-eight hours?" I asked, looking down at her mournfully.

"Two days," she confirmed, laying her hand over her stomach and taking in a small, uneven breath.

My eyes immediately narrowed at this gesture. "Did he kick you in the stomach as well? Did he break a rib?"

Suddenly aware of where her hand was positioned, she snaked it away and tucked it into her other arm. "I am fine," she said.

"If he hurt you," I said, "the least I can do—"

"Nothing is wrong!" she snapped. "Now leave me," she said, turning away and going into Carmen's home, leaving me alone in the night, in the rain, and in the anguish.

--

**Genny's Note: I did not really enjoy writing that chapter, as I felt like it was basically the same as the last one. But it had to be done so you could see what really happened between him and Christine.**

**Next: Audrey still has a few tricks up her sleeve, and in her desperation to be alone for a while, she uses them, much to Erik's displeasure.**


	35. A Plan

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty-five: A Plan  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love."  
-John LeCarre_

--

_Audrey._

I came back into Carmen's home quietly. Shutting the door behind me gently, I leaned again it and listened to see if Erik would return and attempt to claim me again. I heard nothing but silence, and then a sigh, and finally, the sound of retreating footstep.

When I felt I was finally safe, I looked around the dark foyer, trying to adjust my eyes to the light and find my friend within its shadows. I finally saw her standing off to the side a few feet away, her hands clasped in front of her as she took in my shaking form.

"Hello," she said softly, "are you alright?"

I bit my lip. I was torn between doing so many things right now. I wanted to yell, scream, vent, throw things, hit someone, fall to the floor and sob, but I did none of these. I simply nodded before saying, "May we take tea somewhere so I can speak with you?"

"Of course," Carmen replied, walking forward and putting a comforting arm around me. "Just let me tell my husband what is happening and then instruct one of our maids to put some tea on. I will meet you in the drawing room," she said, pointing out the correct one before hurrying away.

I swallowed uncomfortably, hoping that Mr. Montague did not have a problem with me here, as I knew he was very close to Erik. I was nervous he would instruct his driver to take me back to my husband straightaway and then scold Carmen for bringing this madness upon him. But what should I have done? I could not have possibly stayed there, and I knew if I went to my father's home, Rachel would welcome me with open arms, but my parents would be sure to send me back to Erik, and Jacqueline lived too far, which was both inconvenient and advantageous to what I planned on doing next.

I walked to the drawing room where Carmen would be soon, and I saw that a lamp had already been lit to await my arrival. It was the same drawing room Carmen and I had gotten drunk in right after Christmas, the same night she had given me the very risqué nightgown I had yet to wear. I had planned on using it on Erik's birthday, though made up, next month, but now it seemed I would not gain the opportunity.

I sat down on one of the chairs, adjusting my gown accordingly. It was rumpled and torn in some places from me wrestling with the strange man earlier this evening. I had not had time to change previous to us leaving. I hadn't even grabbed the bag I had packed before either.

Carmen came in a moment later, armed with what looked to be medical supplies. I looked at her curiously and she motioned towards me.

"I noticed your lip when you came in," she said, and I looked away sheepishly, for I had forgotten of it completely. But now that it was brought to my attention once again, I could feel the throbbing and stiffness from the dried blood.

Carmen bent down next to me, dipped a washcloth in the small bowl of warm water and cleaned it quickly. It stung a little, especially when she dabbed some alcohol on it, but she was finished within minutes.

"Thank you," I said, blinking away the tears that had come along with the stinging pain of the alcohol.

She nodded, gathering her supplies in a pile on the table before sitting across from me. I could tell she was about to question me, but the maid came in at that moment, serving us tea and scones and starting a fire before Carmen shooed her away, leaving us alone once again.

The tea felt wonderful as it splashed inside my stomach, warming me from the inside out. I was still freezing from being outside without a coat.

"Audrey," Carmen began, and I bit back a sigh. I did not want to talk about it, but I owed it to her after what she was doing for me. "Did Erik do this to you?"

It took me a moment to comprehend what she was speaking of, but upon realizing she had meant my injured lip, my eyes widened.

She took my long silence as confirmation, and she gasped. "Oh, Audrey! Do not worry! My husband and I will never let anything like this happen again! You will not have to go back. We could have the police over, and we can write a formal statement on it and you—"

"Carmen," I said, stopping her mid-rant before her mind could conjure up any other crazy ideas. "Erik did not do this to me. He has never hit me before," I informed her with all honesty.

"Then what, by God's name, happened?" she demanded.

I gave a large intake of breath before explaining the entire true and ugly story; from my trek to the library, to the woman's husband showing up, to the swordfight and my involvement in it, and finally down to coming here and what I had promised Erik.

When I was finished, Carmen only stared at me. "Good heavens," she finally said, "I never thought Erik to be the kind of man who committed infidelity."

"Neither did I," I said, looking away in order to control the sudden rush of emotions that had hit me at just that moment.

Suddenly lost in thought, I was startled to see that Carmen had traveled the distance of the room to stand next to me. She smoothed my array hair down with her hand and said, "Stop holding this in, Audrey. It's not good for you. You've been entirely too calm about the entire thing."

The words were enough to break my resolve to be indifferent about the whole ordeal, and finally, I let big tears roll down my cheeks, and I sobbed heavy and hard, letting my friend wrap her arms around me as I did so, and surprised to find that she cried with me, too.

--

I woke the next morning in the unfamiliar guest room I had been set up with the night before. It took me a moment to remember why I was there, and when I did, pain stabbed at my heart again.

No sooner than when I had gotten out of bed did Carmen and one of her lady maids came in, armed with hot water for a bath and a gown of Carmen's for me to wear. Once I was showered, pinned, and dressed, Carmen bid me to the library with her, where we dined on a breakfast of warm croissants covered with butter and jam and hot chocolate.

"So, what is your plan now?" Carmen asked between bites of the flakey pastry.

I licked my lips, taking away the butter that resided there, and was reminded of my injury with a stab of pain. I touched it gingerly to feel it had already scabbed over. I must be careful not to stretch it.

"Well," I began, wondering what she would think of this, "I did tell Erik to collect me here forty-eight hours from last night."

"Tomorrow night," she acknowledged with a nod.

It sounded so much closer when said like that, and my heart actually began pounding. "Yes," I agreed, "but I do not want to see him now; perhaps not ever, or, at least, not for a long while." I paused, musing, and Carmen let me do so in silence. "I just…" I took a deep breath. "I just need some time to figure things out." My hand unconsciously touched my belly again.

Carmen nodded, saying, "I understand. Just don't make any hasty decisions," she instructed. "You don't want to end anything if you are still unsure."

"Yes," I established, "that is why I want to leave. I will definitely say or do something I regret if I remain here. I just need to go somewhere where Erik will be unable to find me. Well," I said thoughtfully, knowing no place existed, "at least where it will take him a couple days to do so."

"Alright," my friend replied, setting aside her plate and dusting her hands off by rubbing them together. "Where would this place be?"

I knew where, but I could not tell her so, and when I informed her of this, she gave a huffy sigh before saying, "And why not?"

"Erik will still be here tomorrow night, regardless of where I am. He will find me missing, and he will question you. If you know nothing," I explained, "he has no reason to continue pressing you. I will write him a note, and you one too, so we can make it seem like I snuck away in the night. I do not believe he will inquire from you for very long if he knows I am not there."

"It's an idea at least," she said nervously, "but not a very good one." She scoffed. "Why did Erik have to do this? We were all supposed to be getting together this Saturday evening!"

I gave a small smile, liking how she made light of such a serious situation. It helped me to remain calm and focused instead of just plunging into the despair I felt.

And so finally, after a few hours of being with Carmen, I began putting my plan into motion, only hoping it would work.

--

By the time the afternoon was fading into dusk, I had done everything that I needed to do. I had written two notes: one for Erik, and the other for Carmen, which was more of a plant anyways. As far as Erik was going to know, I left without my friend's knowledge, who promised to keep it a secret from her husband. I had felt awful for asking to do so, but she had made me feel better almost immediately.

"Oh, Audrey," she had sighed, "I would have wanted you to do the same for me! Men don't understand the significance of this, since they are used to ruling everything. I am proud you are taking control of the situation instead of turning a blind eye like many women do."

"Carmen, I—just thank you so much. I feel terrible asking you to keep something from your husband."

She waved her hand at me. "Don't be foolish! Men are idiots, anyways." And then she grinned.

The only other things I had to do were hire a coachman who was willing to take me all the way to Jacqueline and George's house, and keep quiet about it. It was not too difficult to do, and once Carmen had her husband distracted, I went outside where the carriage was waiting, paid him half his fee, which Carmen had generously loaned me, and then we were finally on our way.

The carriage was not one of the fine ones I was used to; there were no plush, velvet seats or gold-rimmed windows. It was very plain, and a little dirty, but I did not care terribly much. The only thing I was concerned about was that it got me to Jacqueline's house safely and inconspicuously.

After traveling all night and for a little of the morning, we arrived at their little countryside home. I thanked him, paid him the rest of his agreed wage, and watched for a moment as he rattled away.

Here, standing alone on a dusty walkway with nothing to my name but, quite literally, the clothes on my back, and far, far from my home, I felt lonelier than I ever had in my entire life. But I let my hand touch my stomach, remembered it wasn't so, and walked up the rest of the pathway to their front door.

I gave a light knock, feeling terribly guilty about showing up unannounced, but proceeded anyways. I listened for a moment, and soon I heard sounds within; the echo of multiple footsteps pattering around inside reached my ears.

"Oh, George, stop being so daft!" I heard my sister say before I heard her husband shush her.

"Now Jacqueline, step back like I told you!" he said in a harsh whisper.

Obviously, Jackie was trying to open the door herself, and George was preventing her, and so I called, "It's just me, Audrey."

There was a tangible hesitation in the air before the door swung open, revealing Jacqueline in her nightclothes, and George in casual daywear.

My sister looked smugly at him and said, "I told you it was no one to be worried about," before motioning me inside.

I let them fuss over me for a few minutes, asking if I wanted anything or if I wanted to sit down, before George announced he must be getting to work, and left. I was relieved to be alone with my sister, as I knew I had to confess everything to her very soon. Hopefully Erik would not show up earlier than expected, but I knew he would not be looking for me until that evening at the very earliest, and so the chances were slim.

"So," Jacqueline said casually, pouring me some tea before taking a seat at the kitchen table with me, "what brings you here? Usually we come out to see you."

It was true, and I suddenly felt guilty for it. By no means wanting, my sister and brother-in-law lived an extremely simple life. Their home was not grand in the slightest; rather, it was a modest two story house with only what was really needed. It had four bedrooms and a modern bathroom upstairs, while downstairs consisted of one drawing room, a living room, and a kitchen. The furniture was all second-hand and decorated explicitly to Jackie's taste, and it felt, for lack of a better work, homey.

"Well," I began, "I have some terrible news."

"Oh, dear," she said, going pale. "Is everyone alright? Erik? Nadir? Carmen?"

I shook my head, silencing her. "No one is hurt, everyone is fine," I assured her, before saying, "But Erik and I sort of…had a fight."

"What kind of fight?" she asked, pushing her tea away.

"Um…," I struggled, having trouble beginning my story, "well, I found him with another woman."

Jacqueline gasped, saying, "_What_?" as she did so.

I explained the entire story again as I had with Carmen, but instead of feeling despair at the end, I only felt numb. But there was one more thing I was telling Jacqueline that I had not told my friend.

"And the worst part is," I finished, "that I think I am with child. I don't know what to do!" I moaned, letting my head fall into my hands.

My sister gently pried them away from my face, pushing back my untidy hair as she did so. "Alright," she began, "you are not going to breakdown," she instructed sternly. "You are stronger than that and you must remain so for your child!"

I nodded obediently, my lower lip trembling as I did so.

"In a few days, when you think you are ready, we will invite Erik over so that you may talk, and—oh, Audrey, do not give me that look! What else do you plan on doing?"

"I don't know, but—"

"No, Audrey, listen to me. You cannot be irrational. A woman alone, with no money, and with a child on the way is not a good situation to be in. You should at least hear Erik out before you make a decision. Perhaps there is an explanation for all of this."

I highly doubted it, and apparently my expression told Jacqueline so, because she sighed and laid a hand on my shoulder.

"I know it doesn't appear likely, but there is still a chance. It seems to me this woman and your husband had a past, and so it is better than if it had been just a random woman whom you had no idea of."

I grudgingly agreed with her before saying, "But what if it isn't right? What will I do then? Mama and Father will disown me if I leave my husband. It just isn't done."

"If it comes to that," she said, stroking my cheek, "then I will be here to help you." Then Jacqueline wrapped her arms around me, giving me the comfort only an older sister could.

--


	36. Searching

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty-six: Searching  
By Genevieve Lee

--

_I measure every grief I meet  
with analytic eyes;  
I wonder if it weighs like mine,  
or has an easier size._

_-Emily Dickinson _

--

_Erik._

I didn't know what to do once the door of Carmen's house finally closed, blocking me off from my wife, but one thing was positively sure: I could not attempt to go back and force Audrey to go with me at this moment like I longed to. I knew it would only make her feel resentful and, if possible, make the situation worse than it already was.

But I was loathe to leave her as well, and hesitated outside the door before sighing. I knew there was nothing else to do but what she requested, and so I left. I didn't even notice the cold air around me and the rain on the ground until a patch of ice made me catch my step in order to stay upright. It was then I noticed the frigidness of the air and the fog that hovered as well.

If it had not been for my daft mistake, Audrey and I could be at home in our library enjoying some warm tea and a book of poetry. Or perhaps we would have been sitting in my music room, she next to me as I played for her. But because of the course of events that had taken place, Audrey was furious with me, and not in our home, and there was a possibility she would not want to return. When I had first seen Christine standing in my doorway, my first instinct had been to turn her away and force her to come back at a more appropriate time. I would do anything to go back and listen to that instinct. Because of her, I faced the chance of losing the woman I not only loved, but who loved me equally in return. I had lost it for such a fickle reason.

I am many things: a musician, an architect, a ventriloquist, an artist, an inventor, a magician…but there in one skill that lies beyond my range: and that is to be able to turn back time. At that moment, I would have given anything to be able to change my decisions.

I felt like destroying something and screaming with rage, but instead I found myself standing on the road that was wet from the rain. My carriage was nowhere to be seen; it had gone and it had taken Christine with it. I knew I would never see her again, and yet I felt no remorse. It was not a loss this time around, but more of a mutual parting. The boy would forgive her, or blame the entire thing on me, like I bloody well cared, and they would live out in bliss for the rest of their days. I only hoped I could be so sure in my own marriage.

Our home was about ten miles from the Montagues, and I found myself thankful for the long walk in order to think. By now it was late into the night, and almost no one was about. I was quite alone, and in more senses than one. I was so deep in thought that I didn't feel the decreasing degrees, even when the cold bit into my clothes. I was not dressed to walk a long while in the rain and frozen night, and I could feel it did have an effect on me when I eventually did make it home.

The inside of my body felt frozen, and my throat ached from the constant wintry air on it. All of my limbs, my fingers and toes especially, were completely numb with the cold. I hardly noticed though, and I collapsed on my bed in exhaustion, and fully dressed in my wet clothing, and fell asleep, not waking until the next morning.

When I did emerge from my slumber, it was with despair and the horrible realization that I should have taken better care of myself. I rarely got sick, and had seen Audrey through illness twice already in our marriage, but I could not even remember the last time I had had a simple cold. It was obvious as soon as I stood that I was ailing. My body ached and felt hot, yet I was extremely cold.

It did not take the maid long to accost me and ask if I would be needing anything, and I sent her away, telling her not to return for another week, at least. I gave her sufficient money for lodgings and other necessities, but I did not want her in our home when Audrey was not present and I was not in good health.

The next two days passed quickly, luckily. I lay in bed most of the time, both in self loathing and in sickness. I had not been able to get any real food down, and so I had had only water and broths. What I really longed for was a wife to take care of me and fuss over every little thing. No…I didn't want a wife, I wanted _Audrey._

That was why when the appointed forty-eight hours was up, I forced myself to dress in clean clothes and emerge from the house. I had our carriage driver, whom had his own lodging house on the property and so had not been a problem these last two days, bring the carriage around. He said nothing of the past events, and took me straight to the Montagues home without a word.

I was anxious to arrive, and nervous as well. My goal was to simply convince her to come home with me and we would discuss things there. I knew I would not be able to stand to be away from her much longer.

Upon arriving, I stepped from the carriage quickly and knocked on the door, and when their butler answered the door, he looked to have been expecting me because he sent me straight to one of their drawing rooms.

I sat shakily on one of the chairs; still feeling clammy, and accepted the hot cup of tea I was offered. I only waited a moment before Carmen glided in, and I immediately noticed several pieces of parchment clutched in her hands.

"Mrs. Montague," I acknowledged carefully, as she had doubtlessly heard the entire story by now, "where is my wife?"

I was not expecting her next words, and so when they were uttered, my heart stuttered in my chest.

"I'm terribly sorry, Erik, but she left. I woke to find her gone this morning with only a note in her stead. One for me, and one for you," she said, offering me the closed envelope that had my name written across the front in Audrey's clean script.

I didn't speak as my trembling hands opened up the note and my eyes hungrily devoured the words upon the paper.

_Erik,_

_I write this as our appointed meeting approaches, and I have realized I still will not be ready to speak with you. I am sorry, but I have gone somewhere else for the time being._

_Do not blame or question Carmen or her husband. They know nothing, and this is how I intend it to be. They have been wonderful to me and I did not want to drag them into this mess._

_I will come to you when I am ready._

_Regards,  
Audrey Cross_

It did not escape my notice that she signed her maiden name at the bottom, and, enraged, I looked up and Carmen and demanded to see the letter Audrey had left her. She quickly handed it over, looking nervous.

_Carmen, my Dear Friend,_

_I, first of all, must thank you for opening your home up to me when I was in such a crisis. Rest assured I would do the same for you if it had been the other way around, though I hope this type of event never falls upon you._

_But I find that I do not have the courage to face Erik tomorrow night, and so I am leaving. Do not fear, for I will be safe. I would give you more information, but Erik will almost certainly want to see this letter as well. I do not want you to be in the way of my husband and I, as it is a risky place to be._

_I shall write to you soon, and know how very much I love you._

_Your Beloved Friend,  
Audrey Jane_

Obviously signing "Cross" instead of "Destler" had been a direct hit at me as she had not done the same on Carmen's letter. I tossed Carmen's note to her, but folded mine and put it in my coat pocket before eyeing my wife's friend.

"You know nothing else?" I asked severely.

"No," she said almost as soon as I finished speaking.

"She could be in danger out there alone," I said logically. "Surely you don't want you friend in peril?"

I saw her visibly pale, assuring me that she knew more than she was leading on to, but she still proved to be a useless resource.

"No—of course not, but I can honestly say I do not know where she is."

Another talent of mine is that I can tell when people are lying, and I could tell she was not, which infuriated me. My wife had thought this through well.

"Then I shall find her," I stated before turning to leave, different possibilities already listing themselves in my mind.

"Erik—wait!"

I was surprised to feel her hand on my arm, and I turned to face her with a gesture of expectancy.

"Are you alright? You look a little…sick."

"I will be fine once I find my wife," I said, and with that, I left, already knowing where I was going next.

--

There were only three places I could think of where she would go. She had assured Carmen she would be safe, and so I doubted she would do anything as stupid as walk around London aimlessly. The first place I checked was also the closest, which was her parent's home. I doubted she would be there, but I did not want to go to the other two places, find she was not there, and wish I had checked here first. No…it was best to just get this out of the way.

I did not knock on the door or invite myself in. I simply…ah…spied on them, to be quite frank. There was no need to cause suspicion or worry for them if she was not there. I looked through the different windows, locating each person in her family. Her parents sat in a parlor, reading, while Rachel was in her room writing in a journal, by the looks of it. They all seemed completely normal and at peace, and after scanning the rest of the house, I accepted she was not there.

Although it was only the first place I had looked and I also had not expected her to be there, I was starting to become very worried. What is she had acquired money somehow and was staying at some lodging house in London? It would take days, _weeks, _to find her if that were the case, and I knew I would not cease looking for her until she was found.

Becoming a little frantic, I told my driver to push the horses to our next location: Nadir's home. When she had been contemplating on how to tell me that she was loved me, she had snuck off to my friend's house to speak with him about it, leading to the biggest fight in our marriage. Well, until _now_, at least. But I saw there was no reason she would not trust him again.

I arrived there rather quickly, and once I did, I bounded up the steps of his flat and rapped roughly on his door.

The poor man was so used to middle of the night visits that when he answered the door in his bedclothes, he simply gestured me over the threshold without a word.

"What brings you here, my friend?" he asked once I walked inside.

I could already tell he knew nothing by his state of calm and his ignorant manner, but I still had to sit down, as the walk from the carriage to his home had exhausted me. I collapsed in a chair, trying to hide the shivering my body was going into; one of the many signs of fever.

"Erik—are you ill? Where is Audrey?"

"That—" I said between gasping breaths, "is what I am trying to find out. Have you seen her Nadir? Received any type of communication from her?"

Shock and then worry registered in Nadir's face as he said, "No, no, I haven't heard a word! What is going on?"

I bent my head, letting it fall into my hands. Speaking of my disgrace out loud for the first time made it more real, and it made me completely aware that it was my entire fault that Audrey was somewhere in this world alone, and without my protection. What kind of husband was I if I could not even protect my own wife?

"Oh, Nadir," I moaned, "I've ruined everything!"

I then told him the entire story up until the point I was at now, and when I was finished, I knew it was time for me to leave and continue looking.

"I must go," I said, standing, "I have to find her tonight!"

"Erik, you are to not going anywhere! You are burning with a fever," he said, reaching out as if to restrain me. "You are no use to Audrey if you are dead."

I moved away so he could not grab me. "No, Nadir. I must leave! I know where she is, and a simple fever will not stand in the way of my reunion with her."

"And where is she?" he questioned incredulously.

"At her sister's home. It is the only other place she could have gone."

"Erik, if she is there, you know she is safe. Please, I beg of you to stay here for a day or two to get better and then you may go on this crazy rampage after your wife!"

"I thank you for your concern," I said with finality, "but I am going to my wife tonight, and no one is going to stop me."

"Erik," he said grimly, "you are not as young as you used to be."

I turned to him and gave a light agreeing nod. "I know," I acknowledged, "and that is precisely why I must go to her tonight. I will not lose another day with her."

He fell silent, and watched me go without a fuss, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop me.

When I returned back outside I knew different arrangements would have to be made. If I was going to go all the way to Jacqueline and George's house that night, I would need to find a different carriage. I knew my driver and the horses he had could not make it all the way there after gallivanting around for almost the entire night already. Instead, I told him to go home, and I quickly found another gentleman who was easily persuaded with the right price to take me where I needed to go.

This carriage ride was a long one, and in the time I sat within the cab, I knew my fever was getting worse. When you have a fever such as this, I was aware you needed rest and plenty of fluids, and instead I was running around in the middle of the cold night in search for my wife. It left me exhausted, but my mind would not let me sleep.

Instead, I sat in the coach, wide awake, but with my eyes closed to control the nausea I felt at the jolting of the carriage. What seemed like eternity seemed to pass, but finally, we were there.

I paid the man and sent him on his way, wanting to be completely alone to prepare myself. I found that my body was still extremely shaky, if not more so, and yet I was burning. I could feel the sweat on my face, and I removed my mask to wipe at it before replacing it.

It was then I unsteadily made my way to the door, grasping at fence posts and yard decorations, and finally, at the door to help me to climb up the steps. I was extremely weak and overdrawn, and it was only after Audrey's sister opened the door that I collapsed.

--

**Genny's Note: I am so terribly sorry for waiting so long to update! But I got really sick and I was unable to do much of anything productive this last week. But I am on the verge of recovery, although it seems like our poor Erik is not!**

**I am hoping to have more time to write this weekend to not keep you guys waiting long. Thank you to all who have reviewed or simply read! I am glad to know others are enjoying my form of art.**


	37. Selfish

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty-seven: Selfish  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably __selfish__ to be lonely alone."  
-Tennessee Willams_

_--_

_Audrey._

The following night approached quickly, and I found myself constantly staring at the clock. By seven, I knew Erik had been at Carmen's home already. The question now was where was he headed to next?

I was not dense, I knew that my sister's house was an obvious place for me to be and it would not take him very long to find me, if he truly wanted to find me at all.

The thought that he would no longer want me caused me to shudder and pull my knees to my chest, a feat that was going to become much harder as my belly grew. But for now, it lay mostly flat with a bump that was hardly noticeable. It merely looked as if I had exhaled all the air from my lungs and remained that way. It was also easily hidden in an empire waist dress, of which Jacqueline had purchased me earlier that day in town. I argued with her about accepting them, but I suppose she was right in the fact that I could not continue wearing Carmen's dress.

"Besides," she said rationally as she shoved the pile of fabric at me for a third time, "I told you I would help you and this is only proving it."

I sighed, stretching out my legs on the bed I was on, causing the muscles that had been bunched up to protest weakly before settling into the new position. It was now late into the night and I wanted to sleep, but my body seemed to be unable to follow these instructions. But finally, with the sound of rain lulling me to sleep, I settled into an uncomfortable slumber.

I was roused much later by my sister shaking my shoulder roughly. I moaned in protest and rolled away from her, hoping that she would take the hint and leave me in peace, for I was suddenly exhausted. But to my dismay, she ripped the covers off of me and began shouting.

"What do you want?" I growled, sounding surprisingly like my husband.

"Audrey, you must get up!" she demanded, attempting to pull me from my bed.

"But why? I was perfectly comfortable—"

"It is your husband," she hissed impatiently. "He is here."

This certainly caught my attention, and I sat up and looked at her. I then glanced over her shoulder, half expecting to see Erik's dark silhouette blocking my doorway, but to my relief, there was nothing.

"Tell him," I began with venom, "that I am not ready to speak with him and he can just wait—"

"Audrey! Will you just shut your arrogant mouth for one moment?" my sister snapped, leaving me with an open jaw. "He is sick, extremely so, and looks like he has been for days now. As soon as I opened the door he practically passed out in my arms."

"What?" I asked blankly, still in shock. Erik, my husband, the ever powerful and all-knowing man was ill? It was baffling to think of him in any position of weakness.

I sat up immediately, swinging my feet onto the floor and to the slippers that were there.

"Where is he?" I asked.

My sister looked relieved that I was willing to cooperate and she silently led me out of my room, down the stairs, and to one of the drawing rooms. An intake of breath was my reaction at seeing my husband, unconscious on the couch.

For a moment I thought that perhaps he was simply tricking us in order to get close to me, but one look at him and I knew that what was happening was quite serious. His face was pale, even more pale than usual, and there was sweat streaking across every exposed part. His body was shaking, shivering, and I knew it was from a fever.

Jacqueline was beside me as I stared down in horror at him.

"I wanted to move him to a bed upstairs, but George took him here and immediately went for a doctor."

I nodded, as that was going to be my next question. Hopefully the small town physician would come quickly and be qualified to look after my husband.

"That stupid, idiotic, and _selfish_ man!" I lumbered. "How could he risk himself like this?"

Anger was surging through me, and I grasped desperately onto it, because it was easier to be livid than worried.

I kneeled beside him and took his mask off, wanting his face to have some air. I heard my sister behind me catch her breath, as she had never seen his face before, but she was able to compose herself quickly, of which I was grateful.

"Fetch a wash cloth and a basin of warm water," I instructed. "When you have gotten that, get a pitcher of water. We need to get some fluids in him."

I heard the gentle swish of Jackie's skirts as she left the room to do as I had asked. When I was alone I set my palm softly upon Erik's cheek, stroking it gently.

"Do not worry," I said strongly as I swallowed back tears, "we'll make you well."

When he made no response besides a low groan, I looked away mournfully, only hoping that what I said was true.

--

It took over an hour for George to return with a doctor in tow. They found us in the same room, where Jacqueline was covering him with dry blankets and I was wiping the sweat from his face with a wash cloth. Upon hearing them enter, I stood and blocked the view of my husband with my body protectively, looking at the strange man that stood before me.

"Sir, there is something you should know—"

"I told him," George said. "He knows everything."

I nodded before letting Jackie pull me away so the doctor could see to his patient. With her arms slung across my shoulders I watched silently as the man kneeled beside the bed and began taking Erik's vitals, not even flinching when he stared straight at his face.

Several long minutes passed, and I ignored my sister and brother in law's prompting to go to the kitchen and get a little something to eat. I wanted to find out what was wrong with my husband first.

Finally, the man turned and faced us, well, me—more specifically.

"You are his wife?" he questioned as he folded his spectacles and stuck them into his breast pocket. Although not in his night clothes, it was obvious he had been woken up to come here. His clothes were rumpled and untucked, and the man just looked plain tired.

"I am," I said, taking a step forward and away from my sister, feeling her arms drop off of my shoulders. "How is my husband?" I demanded.

"He is fine, Madame. Let me assure you of that first. He does have a fever, but it seems to have lowered considerably within the time you must have taken him in."

I nodded, gesturing him with my hand to continue.

"Though his fever is better, it is still there. His body is simply exhausted from a mixture of the cold and not having enough rest."

The word "selfish" popped into my head for the second time that night. But in this instance, I wasn't sure of whom I was referring to: him or myself.

The doctor left us with instructions of just continuing what we had been doing before and that he would be back the following evening to see how his condition was. We thanked him, paid him the small fee, and watched him leave.

"Audrey," my sister implored once she returned back to the living room, "please come into the kitchen and eat something. I can make your favorite potato soup."

"I appreciate your offer," I began, "but I must stay with Erik. If you would still make the soup and bring me a bowl here, I would be most grateful."

She agreed, but a moment later George appeared and smiled wearily at me.

"Perhaps you would like to help assist me to move him to a bedroom now?"

I glanced at Erik, whose feet were hanging off one end of the couch, his left arm draped over the side and touching the floor. He looked cramped and uncomfortable, and I knew a bed would be much better. But I also knew that moving him to such a location, which was up the stairs, would be a daunting task, indeed.

"Yes, please," I replied, and then together, each of us with an arm across our shoulders, we staggered up the stairs with my husband in-between us. We laid him on the bed in my room, at my insistence.

"I would like to be with him, and being in my room will be more convenient, I think," I explained as we lowered him gently onto the bed.

After that was done, I was alone once again, and this time I focused on making Erik as comfortable as possible. I removed his shoes, only to find he was wearing wet socks. I grumbled unintelligently about this as I removed them, warmed his feet with a steaming hot wash cloth, dried them, and put on a pair of George's socks. I then removed the rest of his wet clothing, putting him in some spares of George's I had obtained. Albeit short, they fit decently enough.

Once I was sure he was warm and dry, I sat on the bed with his head in my lap, coaxing him to swallow some water.

"This reminds me of the time I was sick from drinking the night before, and you took care of me the entire night. I don't think we liked each other very much at that point, did we?" I asked, knowing I wasn't going to get a response. "That was directly after you thought I had tried to run away, remember? And no matter how many times I told you—"

"Audrey?"

My head snapped up and my cheeks darkened when I saw my sister standing in the doorway with a tray of food in her hand.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you," she said with all seriousness, and I was pleased to see she was not mocking me in any way, "but I've brought you dinner."

"Thank you," I said, before clearing my throat. I then scooted from beneath Erik, easing his head onto a pillow and going over to the desk where my food sat.

We both stood thoughtfully for a moment, gazing at Erik before I said, "Do you think he can hear me?"

Jacqueline glanced at me and then back at Erik before shrugging. "I cannot say, but it doesn't hurt to talk to him. Even if he can't hear it, I know it can make _you_ feel better."

I agreed and then began eating my dinner, to which Jackie left me dutifully alone. The soup was delicious, but I found I did not have much of an appetite. But I ate anyways, knowing it was good for the baby I was carrying.

_The baby._

I finished eating quickly, chasing down the hot soup that had seared my mouth and throat with a cool glass of water. Feeling positively stuffed and bloated, I sat down on the bed, taking Erik's hand in my own. I was pleased to feel that his temperature seemed to be closer to my own than it had been hours previous. I stroked the top of his hand with my thumb as I began talking.

"I hope you can hear me, because telling you is going to be hard enough without having to do it twice," I said before putting his hand across my stomach. Was it my imagination or did his fingers move just slightly in order to gently cradle it? "Feels as if I've been eating one too many pastries, doesn't it?" I joked, but my laugh turned into a garbled sound as tears sprang to my eyes.

"But no, that's not why. Erik, I think you need to know that I'm pregnant—we're pregnant," I amended at the end, my hand tightening on his own. "I found out only two days before this whole thing started, and I wanted to find the perfect time to tell you." I gave a humorless laugh. "I guess this isn't considered perfect, is it? Perhaps," I mused, more to myself, "perhaps, I didn't need the perfect moment. I believe I just needed to tell you regardless of everything."

I swallowed deeply, my voice a little strangled, but I continued. "I think we've both been a little selfish these past few days. Everything has been so flawless these last couple of months I almost forgot what it was like to fight with you—almost. But I realize now that our lives won't ever be perfect, nor do I want it to be. I want to fight with you, I want to disobey you and have you scream at me for being impertinent, and I want to yell back about how pig-headed you are." I sniffed, pulling his hand away from my stomach to stroke it tenderly across my cheek. "I want to slam doors, and stomp my feet, but I want to sleep in your arms, give you gifts, make breakfast with you…I want to grow old with you, Erik.

"I guess what I am getting at," I persisted, "is that I love you, and I forgive you for everything, but only hope you can forgive me too."

I lay there for several minutes, listening to his breathing, but suddenly, something amazing occurred. I still don't know if it was too early to feel such things, or if I was just mistaking regular stomach functions for what I felt, but something fluttered in my stomach, and it happened more than once.

I gasped, wondering what was happening, but realized it within the same instant.

"Moving," I breathed. "Erik! Our baby is moving!"

I grabbed the hand I had released and lay it over my abdomen, letting him feel, even in unconsciousness, the miracle we had somehow created.

--

**Genny's Note: A terribly short chapter, but there really was no more to add. I apologize for the idleness this story has had, but I had many things going on this month.**

**I wanted to also say how much I appreciate all your concerned messages and reviews. I have replied to each one individually, as I no longer feel comfortable posting about Jacqueline after a scathing and unsympathetic review. Just know things are much better than they were before, and I hope to update again this weekend.**

**I also apologize to those anonymous reviewers to whom I could not reply, but I thank you as well!**


	38. Holly

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty-eight: Holly  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"…_sometimes your place is not something you find, but something you have when you need it."_

_-Libba Bray_

_--_

_Audrey.  
Seven Months Later.  
December 25th._

"Would you please," I gasped, "get the largest pot that you can find from the kitchen?"

"Why ever would I do that? What use would it be now?" Jacqueline asked, looking extremely worried.

"I want you to knock me unconscious until you can get this beast out of me!"

But Jacqueline's response, no doubt a firm negative, was lost to me when there seemed to be a red tint over everything and I gasped as a flash of pain ripped through my midsection. My hand gripped harder onto the pillow I had been given and I heard a tear, watching as the feathers from the down began falling slowly around me.

"Get...this…thing…out…of…me!" I yelled in-between pants of breath, grinding my teeth together in an effort to control the screams that wanted to escape from me. A particularly load groan issued though, and my head lolled backwards. In response to this, there was a very loud knock on the door across the room, and muffled yelling accompanying it.

Jacqueline looked between me and the door, half angling herself towards it and looking to me to see my reaction.

"Don't you dare let him in, Jackie!" I shrieked. "It's Erik's entire bloody fault this is happening to me, the bastard! I will never, for the rest of my life, allow him to touch me again and—"

Another contraction tore through me, and my head fell into my chest; the hair that had been stuck to my sweaty forehead drooped away from me. All rational thoughts fled.

"Come on, Mrs. Destler. Only a few more pushes and you will have your child. Use this contraction to push as hard as you can!" the doctor at my bedside said to me.

"I am already pushing as hard as I can, you fool!" I barked as soon as the contraction had passed. I breathed heavily, wishing more than anything that this terrible labor I had been in for ten hours would just be done. What a dreadful way to spend Christmas!

The doctor chose to ignore my biting comment and he focused instead on more important matters, telling me that the next time I had a contraction I needed to push just a little more, and my baby would be born.

"This can all be over if you work very hard on the next one," he informed me, looking as exhausted as I felt.

I nodded, and opened my mouth to eagerly accept the water that Jacqueline offered me. After greedily swallowing the cupful, I felt the comings of my next contraction, and I steeled myself, focusing on what needed to be done. I remembered pushing one last time, and then relief.

Relief, but not quiet, because soon an earsplitting cry echoed through the room as the doctor took my baby in his arms, cut the umbilical cord, and ran to the other side of the room to the basin of water, towels, and clothing that awaited. I sagged into the pillows in utter fatigue and closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than to sleep. But I awaited for the news of my child first.

The loud knocking returned, and Jackie looked at me, asking permission with her expression to let my husband, who had promptly been locked out as soon as the labor started, into the room before he broke down the door.

I scowled, waving my hand slightly before saying, "Let him in before he does unnecessary damage to himself."

Shaking her head as she did so, my sister quietly treaded to the other side of the room, unlocking the door and standing aside. A good thing she did too, because a split moment later, the door swung open, hitting the opposite wall with a loud thud that shook the entire room.

I glowered at Erik as he looked wildly around the room until his eyes finally rested on me. "Really, Erik," I abashed, but he crossed the room in only a moment and took up my hand in his own, placing a kiss there.

"How are you?" he asked with such concern that it melted my previous, and irrational, anger away almost instantly. After such an ordeal, I was happy to have him next to me.

"Exhausted," I said, and at that moment, the doctor came to us, a squirmy bundle in his arms. I sat up instantly, reaching my hands out to accept the child.

"It is a girl," he said, bending down to hand her to me.

A wide grin broke across my face, so large that it felt as if my face was going to split into two. I glanced at Erik as I cradled the child to my breast before saying, "I _told_ you it was going to be a girl!"

Erik, who had been absolutely positive that he had a son on the way, leaned forward to look at his new daughter and I did as well, pulling back the blanket that covered her head.

Though red and scrunched, she was beautiful. Both sides of her face were perfectly smooth and I saw Erik run his finger across her soft cheeks in disbelieving relief.

"You see?" I said as I did the same. "I was right about this, too."

Erik had been enormously terrified that any child sired by him would have his abnormal face, but I had had a deep feeling that any child we created together would be perfect.

He nodded mutely as we continued studying our dark-haired daughter. I cooed to her until she opened her eyes, smiling to see that they were the same blue mine were.

Erik, knowing what I was smiling about, said, "Babies eyes often change colors, you know."

"Some babies do," I argued playfully, "but ours will not. Those are my eyes if I ever saw them. Besides," I continued, "if she has your hair, it is only fair that she has my eyes."

I could have sworn that she nodded her head in agreement.

--

I woke several hours later, curled up at Erik's side, who was dozing lightly. I yawned, stretching slightly as I did so. I felt absolutely horrid, and so I got out of bed, careful not to wake my husband. I tiptoed across the room, peeking into the cradle where my daughter slept as well. We had yet to name her, because although Erik, Jacqueline and I had volleyed names back and forth for almost an hour, nothing seemed right. We had decided to try again tomorrow when Nadir, Carmen and her husband, whom we had nicknamed Monty, Jacqueline, George, and Rachel, would all be coming to see the newest addition to our family. My parents were currently away on a trip, and had left Rachel in Jacqueline's care, and so they would have to see their first grandchild another time.

After I was sure I could sneak away, I did so to bathe and dress in a clean gown. It felt nice to be able to wear a corset again. Although my figure was a far cry from what it had been before my pregnancy, it sure looked better than it had two days ago.

By the time I emerged from bathroom Erik was awake and dressed. I came in quietly so he did not hear me, and I watched him stare into the cradle for a long moment before reaching a hand down to gently stroke her cheek. By the way he handled her you'd think he was afraid of breaking her.

"You won't hurt her," I said, leaning against the doorway tiredly. I was still sore and a bit weary from everything that had happened yesterday.

Erik turned slowly to face me, not looking at all surprised by my sudden appearance. He gave a small smile and said, "I know, but she is just so small."

I nodded in agreement, but I was suddenly wishing that we weren't having so much company over. I wanted nothing but to curl in bed with Erik and our daughter and sleep the day away. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I did not notice Erik's approach, but only did so when he swept me into his arms and carried me to the bed gently. I did not argue. I was too tired.

"You seem like you are still recovering," he said once he had laid me down on the bed and lay next to me. I rolled over, curling up at his side and sighing when he wrapped his arms around me.

"Perhaps a small nap," a yawn, "wouldn't be too terrible. They aren't expected for a few more hours anyways."

Erik agreed and I closed my eyes, feeling my breathing immediately slow. I could tell I would have been asleep within the next two minutes, but my daughter's hungry wail broke through our silent relaxation, and both my husband and I opened our eyes and looked at each other in surprise.

I gave a small grin, saying, "She refuses to be ignored."

"Then she really _is_ your daughter."

Erik managed to dodge the pillow I threw at him as I got up.

--

Luckily for me, and everyone else, I think, I was able to nap before everyone showed up. Erik was downstairs, arranging them in the drawing room while I was readying our daughter for her unveiling to her new family. After I had dressed her, I sat her on my lap and sighed, stroking her soft head of hair very slowly.

"I apologize now for any cheek-pinching that may occur from your aunts, or possibly Nadir." I smiled. "But these people will love you forever, little one." I paused, considering. "And perhaps one of them will come up with a suitable name for you. I cannot call you 'baby' forever."

She gargled in reply, and deciding we were both ready, I scooped her into my arms and made my way downstairs where I could hear the excited voices of my friends and family in the drawing room.

As predicted, the first couple of minutes were filled with a lot of squealing and exclamations of how much she looked like Erik and I. She was then passed around so that each person could hold her for a moment, but after ten minutes, I demanded to have her back, to which Erik smiled before I handed her over to him. He accepted her graciously.

"Do you have any names narrowed down?" Jacqueline asked once everyone was seated.

I shook my head slowly. "No. We've tried all the traditional names but none of them seem to fit, exactly. But I don't want her to be nameless forever."

"What about Abigail?" Rachel suggested.

I winced. "That was the name of my old friend at Woldingham."

"Oh, yes. I'd forgotten about that."

"How about Hester?"

"Too masculine."

"Phoebe?"

"Too ugly."

"Ann?"

"Too common."

"Lila?"

"Victoria?"

"Emma?"

"Martha?"

"No," I replied, shaking my head at all of them. "None of those names will do."

Everyone lapsed into thoughtful silence before Jacqueline said, "What about Christine? That's a perfectly lovely name."

Neither Erik nor I replied at first, but finally Erik said, "I really don't think—"

"Christine is the name for common street whores," I said with a sniff, while everyone looked at me in astonishment. Although I had told Jacqueline everything that had happened, I had not discussed the name with her, as it seemed a pointless detail. The only people in the room who understood my dislike for the name was Erik, Nadir, and Carmen.

Although I suppose I was not being fair. That night had not been the last time I had seen or spoken to Christine, and I remembered the day we came face to face with one another again all too well.

--

_I leaned forward, trying to keep the savage-like expression from appearing on my face; it would possibly give me away. _

_ "I am simply asking one simple little favor, Carmen," I said with my voice dripping sweetness._

_ She glared at me over the rim of her china teacup before taking a sip. "Just a favor, Audrey? Then why do you have the look of someone who is out for blood?"_

_ "I am not out for blood," I insisted, hoping she didn't look too deeply into my eyes. "I just want you to invite some guests over for dinner, and invite me on the same evening."_

_ "Well," she said reluctantly, and sounding a little more clam, "that doesn't sound too bad. Who are they?"_

_ "The de Chagnys," I said. "You know, the Victome and Victomess?"_

_ She gave a light nod. "Yes, I do remember reading about them being in London in the society pages. But," she asked, leaning towards me, "why ever do you want to speak with them about?"_

_ "Well," I began slowly, choosing my words carefully, "let us just say the Victomess—I'm terribly sorry, I mean Christine—and I need to have a few words together."_

_ My emphasis on the name did it, and she understood everything immediately. She pushed her teacup away from her and stared at me evenly for a few moments before saying, "Are you saying that Christine de Chagny, Victomess, is the one who Erik…?" She trailed off and I nodded, understanding her meaning. "Are you sure?" she whispered._

_ I gave another vicious nod. "I am utterly positive," I said, but I did not confide to her how I knew; that after Erik was no longer sick and we returned home, he had explained to me the entire story of how he and Christine were connected. I would not have settled for anything less._

_ "You were the Opera Ghost?" I had practically squeaked out. "The Phantom of the Opera?"_

_ He had given a slow nod, unable to meet my eyes. I furrowed my brow slightly, studying him as what I knew I needed to do flooded into my system._

_ "The Phantom of the Opera? Really?"_

_ He managed to look up then, meeting my eyes with his own anguished ones. I could tell he thought this was going to push me away from him, possibly forever, and I hesitated before I spoke next, saying, "Don't you think that's a bit overdramatic?" And then I smiled, letting him know he was forgiven._

_ "Well," Carmen began, reminding me that she was there, and I shook my head to rid myself of my thoughts, "what good will come out of talking to her?"_

_ "I can't explain it," I said, "but I feel I just need to speak with her." Seeing the look Carmen was giving me, I amended with, "You know, when our husbands aren't around trying to kill each other."_

_ She shook her head. "I still don't see what good this will do."_

_ "But will you do it for me, Carmen? They will come if you invite them. It's their social obligation."_

_ She sighed, but finally said, "Fine. I will do it."_

_ And, as promised, Carmen informed me they would be calling on them the following Sunday for a tea and a dinner, of which I was invited to. _

_ I had discussed a small plan of attack with Carmen. I would show up a half an hour after they did, at which time Carmen's husband would be with the Victome doing a gentlemen's activity, leaving me free to speak with Christine alone._

_ As planned, I arrived promptly at the expected time. The butler led me to one of the many drawing rooms, where I could hear muted female voices behind it. After opening the door and announcing me, I brushed into the room as if I met my husband's adulteress every day of the week. I greeted Carmen cordially, giving her a kiss on the cheek before I finally turned to face Christine and be introduced. I could tell Carmen was slightly nervous, but it was nothing compared to the expression on Christine's face when she recognized me. _

_ "Madame Victomess, may I introduce to you Mrs. Erik Destler, a very dear friend of mine. I hope she will keep you entertained while I go have a word with our cook about dinner tonight. If you will excuse me," Carmen said before leaving the room, only throwing one worried glance over her shoulder on her way out._

_ Well, I thought silently to myself, at least she didn't waste any time leaving us alone._

_ I laid my hand on my protruding belly, thinking it was really too bad I was pregnant, as it limited what I could do to this girl significantly._

_ "Mrs. Destler—"_

_ "Call me Audrey, please," I said with a sickly-sugary smile. "I do believe we are past formalities now."_

_ "Mrs. Destler, I—"_

_ "Audrey," I corrected, not wanting to hear Erik's name on her tongue._

_ Looking uncomfortable, she looked down at the powder pink dress she was wearing, one that was the top of fashion right now and one I would have envied only a few months ago._

_ "Audrey," she began hesitantly, refusing to meet my eye, "perhaps we should discuss—"_

_ I had planned on being cordial about this, or at least, as cordial as I could get, but unbidden, the words "how you cheated on your husband with mine?" came out of my mouth._

_ It hung in the air for a moment before she said, "Yes, I suppose so."_

_ I narrowed my eyes at her, saying, "Was it a game to you, Victomess? Breaking my husband's heart, leaving him to die, and—oh, yes, he told me everything," I said, catching the shock on her face as I discussed their past, "and then coming back just to play with him a bit more? Perhaps you could make him just a bit more miserable before riding off into the sunset with—"_

_ "It wasn't like that!" she spoke out with her small fists clenched. "I had no idea he was married! I didn't even know his last name before all of this! It took me a year to find him," she continued, "and I did not know you even existed. If I had, I would have turned right back around and left him! Don't you understand? I just wish for his happiness," she finished tiredly, and I looked at her in surprise._

_ Hmm. Well I had not expected that. But at the same time, I knew she was telling the truth._

_ "And I want to say I am so very sorry," she continued when my silence did not end. "I had no intention of breaking up a marriage—yours or mine." She then looked down sheepishly before saying, "Is everything alright between you two?"_

_ I found myself sitting back down, as I had stood during our heated, though short, debate. I could not look at her though, and I settled on looking at the plate of biscuits in front of us, noting how delicious they looked._

_ Without thinking, I laid my hand on my stomach and said, "Yes, yes we are fine."_

_ The gesture did not go unnoticed, and I saw her eyes wander to my noticeably round abdomen that was swelling with child, but she chose not to say anything._

_ "Raoul simply thinks that Erik bewitched me and is choosing to believe that I had no free will in all of this," she said quietly and I looked at her in astonishment._

_ Though it made me angry to think of my husband accused of such a thing, I knew it may be for the best._

_ "I plan on telling him the truth soon," she continued. "It's just that—"_

_ "Don't," I said suddenly. Seeing her startled look, I hastened to explain myself. "It is not worth it. If you truly believe you can put this behind you, then let it be." I blinked, looking at the girl in front of me. Christine had tears pooling in her eyes and she looked utterly miserable, but most of all, remorseful. "And I believe you," I found myself saying softly, as if I was speaking only to myself._

_ "W-what?" she sniffed, looking at me questioningly._

_ "It's alright," I said, finally letting my eyes find her's. I straightened my shoulders, finding confidence in my voice as I continued speaking. "I can see now you are truly regretful of your actions and I believe now that you knew nothing of my existence in Erik's life."_

_ "What are you saying?" she said quietly, meekly, as she tried to restrain the hope from coming into her eyes. But it was there, all the same._

_ "I am saying," I began, even going as far to reach my hand out to pat her's carefully, but it was more of a pat you'd give an acquaintance's daughter when you had to show false affection, "that I believe you and more importantly, I forgive you."_

_ Christine looked at me for a moment, as if trying to determine if what I had said was true, and upon finding no deceit, she gave a tentative smile. "Truly?" she questioned._

_ "Yes," I said, nodding. I then stood, grabbing my gloves and my small handbag off of the table in front of me, but not before I did the very brass thing of putting a biscuit into it to eat in the carriage. I turned to face her, as she had stood when she saw of my intention of leaving, and I held out my hand for a gentleman's handshake. It was the only thing I could bear._

_ "I am glad we sorted this all out," I said straightforwardly, reaching to grab her hand in my own. I pumped it up and down once, twice, before letting it go._

_ "I am too," she said, and she seemed in this, honest. "I felt truly awful."_

_ I gave a light nod, not sure of what else to do. I finally turned to leave, but I stopped just before opening the door._

_ "Oh, Christine?" I called with a slight smirk on my face._

_ "Yes?" she asked tentatively._

_ "Don't ever come near my husband again," I instructed, and without another word, I swept out the door, not looking behind me, and not seeking out Carmen before I headed home._

--

The afternoon ended with everyone leaving to go home, save for Nadir who left to call upon the woman he met while away, Dana, who he had been seeing quite regularly. I was happy for the quiet of our home again, but the only disappointing attribute was that my daughter still had no name.

"We'll just have to call you 'baby' forever, won't we?" I said miserably as I set her on the bed next to me and handed her a small doll to play with.

Erik sat next to me and sighed, stroking my hair while I leaned into his shoulder, our daughter between us. "We will think of something," he said. "I know you want it to be perfect."

A knock sounded on the door and Erik got up and opened it, letting our maid in. She held our dinner trays in her hands, as we had requested to have dinner in bed tonight. I was positively weary. After taking the trays and thanking her, she left us alone. Erik walked over to me, setting my tray in front of me and sitting beside me.

"Take it off," I said suddenly without looking at him, but I heard him sigh.

"Audrey—"

"Oh, Erik. Stop being ridiculous! You cannot possibly eat properly with that thing on! Aren't you assured of my staying by now?"

It was silent for a moment, but from the corner of my eyes I saw him remove his mask and set it gently on the nightstand, looking extremely uncomfortable. For months I had been trying to break him of wearing his mask when it was just him and I in private, and although it was getting better, it was not yet completely relaxed or natural. But I was patient. I knew that it would take time.

Satisfied by the removal, I turned my attention to my dinner plate which was artfully arranged. There was even a small vase with a rose in it. Thinking that perhaps she had gone a bit overboard, I began removing the decorative and inedible things off of my plate, but I paused when I held a sprig of holly in-between my fingers.

"Holly," I said softly as I brought it closer to my face for inspection.

"Pardon?" Erik asked, looking at me with confusion.

"Holly!" I repeated gleefully. "That's it!"

"Yes, darling, that _is_ holly—"

"No, Erik," I began excitedly, turning to him so abruptly that my dinner tray would have tumbled to the floor if it had not been for Erik steadying it lightening quick. "That is her name! Holly! She was born on Christmas, after all!"

We both looked down at our daughter who was beginning to fall asleep. I was bouncing up and down excitedly and I looked to see what Erik thought of my idea.

Erik smiled slowly, reaching down to extract the doll from her tiny sleeping arms. He then bent down and kissed her forehead and said, "Sleep well, my darling Holly."

And Holly she remained.

--

Later that night we lay in bed, attempting to sleep ourselves. Outside, snow had begun to fall, silencing all with its white blanket, making everything seem peaceful and faultless. But I was not fooled; I knew the peace could not last forever. There would be something to disrupt it, to change it, to make it harder to continue.

Long after Erik and Holly were both sleeping, I still lay awake, thinking. I finally got up from bed and stood by the window, staring happily at the snow that was falling on the ground like a calming hand. The snow could not fall forever, of course, but I willed it to continue for the moment. It was then I understood that happiness did not mean perfect, but it just meant that perhaps sometimes you would have to work a little harder, perhaps compromise a few times, for things to be at ease.

And finally, when I was tired enough, I returned to bed and fall asleep.

--

**Genny's Note: I realize it's been over a month since I've updated, and I apologize. But as most writers know, it is the end, not the beginning, that is the most difficult to write. I wanted to do it correctly, and unfortunately in order for that to happen, it took many hours of frustration, countless rough drafts, and, apparently, a month of contemplation. But I finally did it. There will be an epilogue after this, one of which is already written (and was written before this chapter was, quite honestly) that I will post in exactly a week. Again, I apologize for the wait but I wanted to get it right. I think I finally did.**

**Also, I am aware that the dates on this chapter do not correspond of what I put down before. Rest assured I have edited them specifically so that Holly could be born on Christmas. Cheers!**

**And a note to an anonymous reviewer of mine, lizmchayhay: It's alright that you do not like my story, as we all deserve an opinion. But if you are going to leave such a long review, I would appreciate knowing what makes my story so distasteful to you. I'd love some critique on what made it awful so I can see the reasons for your dislike. All you did was leave me a flame, and therefore, I am unable to fix the things that you think are making the story go "downhill." If there are places you think I can improve on, you are probably right, but I cannot grow as a writer if you simply leave me hate mail. So I'd appreciate constructive criticism instead of a merely passing of "your story sucks."**

**Warmest Regards,  
Genny  
**


	39. Ending

Within Temptation©  
Chapter Thirty-nine: Ending  
By Genevieve Lee

--

"_If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."  
-Orson Welles_

_--_

_Holly.  
Thirty Years Later.  
December 1st._

We make our way silently through the grass as a heavy wind blows through the cemetery. It is positively frigid, and I am extremely thankful for my coat and gloves. The rain that fell the night before has frozen to the blades of grass, and as my boots step on them, they make a loud crunching noise when they break away and fall to the ground. I tread down upon a particularly icy patch and lose my footing and slide a bit, but a hand grips me at the elbow, keeping me from falling face first.

"Easy there," Noah, my younger brother, says as he straightens me out. "You alright?" he asks as he takes my hand and tucks it into the crook of his elbow so he can lead me.

"Yes, fine," I say, grasping onto him as we continue to make our way up the hill.

"Aren't you used to her stumbling about by now, Noah?"

This voice belongs to Noah's not-as-polite twin, Colton, and I glare at him.

"Funny, Colt," I sniff, "but don't I recall you falling flat on your sorry arse—"

"Point taken," he grumbles as he catches up with us, walking on my other side. "What were you day dreaming about, anyways?"

"Christmas," I lie, looking straight ahead as we continue our journey.

"Oh, yes, that is very soon isn't it? How are you celebrating your birthday?"

"I'm not sure," I reply. The truth is that I've barley thought about it. I suppose birthdays are no longer as special when you get older.

"How old are you turning again, Hols? Eighty-seven?"

Colton narrowly escapes a snowball I throw in his direction, and he grins at me candidly.

"I am only turning thirty—"

"Only?"

"—and I'd appreciate it if you would stop making snide comments to me about my age," I bite out, but I cannot help but smile. I find I have missed my little brothers; both annoying and lovable.

Beside me, Noah sighs, his light hair flapping slightly as he does so.

"Honestly," he mutters, "you two are so immature sometimes—"

"Mother used to think it was funny," Colton says with a grin.

"But Father hated it," I mused. "Or at least he _pretended_ to hate it."

"Did you ever notice, Holly, that every time it was his turn to discipline us that he would almost seem proud of the mess we made?"

"Like he was only punishing us because he knew Mother would throw a fit if he didn't?" I finished with a sad smile.

"I noticed that too," Noah says, glancing sideways at us, "and _I _personally always thought it was completely unfair."

"Why?" Colton snorts. "It's not like you ever got in trouble. You were Mama's little angel."

"Oh, do shut it, you prick!" he replies, looking a little stung by this comment. "I was _not_ a Mama's boy."

I give a light shrug. "I was definitely Father's little girl. There's nothing to be ashamed of, Noah," I soothe, and he seems to stand a little taller.

"Well, what was I?" Colton asks, his unruly hair fluttering as he bounds to catch up with us.

"A royal pain in Mom and Father's arse," I say, earning a small laugh from Noah and a glare from my other brother.

But the truth is that we all had a splendid, if different relationship with our parents. I was the pampered princess, as I was the first child and the only daughter. Father was very protective and Mother was always spoiling me. I think she was secretly pleased that I had been born a girl.

"You're ruining her, Audrey," I remember hearing my father say when I was about four or five.

"Oh, pish-posh," my mother's no-nonsense British accent interrupted him. "I just want her to have the best things, and the best opportunities for her life."

"I want those, too," he had replied, "but we need to start _agreeing_ on some things rather than you just going off and doing whatever you please—"

"I do _not_ just do whatever I want," my mother had said, cutting him off angrily. "You make just as many decisions as I do, so don't even _start_—"

And on and on and on. My parents actually fought quite often. My father, who was moody and eccentric most of the time, seemed almost exasperated with my high-strung and spirited mother. It was almost as if she could not properly settle down and my father was always left a step behind, struggling to keep up with her. But though they often didn't agree, their arguments were always short, if fiery. They could never stand to be mad at one another for long.

After a few slammed doors and ill-spoken words, they would make up in a short amount of time, but a new disagreement would surely follow soon after.

"Can we take a small break?" I ask, my breath coming out in short bursts of air. "I'm exhausted."

"Of course, Holly," Noah says, helping me to sit down on a bench that stands near the many tombstones we are passing.

But of course Colton has to make a big show of sighing and looking mournfully down at me. "At this rate we'll _never_ get there."

I glare at him, taking the small bottle of water that Noah offers me. "I'll tell you what, Colt. Next time you are seven months pregnant and hiking up a hill in the freezing cold, we won't stop and we shall see how tired _you_ are."

But Colton misses my reference, and cocks his head slightly. "Pregnant? Me?"

Noah sighs, and plays our mediator as usual. "What our sister is trying to say, Colton, is that as she is seven months pregnant, she is fatigued and would like a moment to rest."

I give a closed-mouth smile to my brother and say, "Thank you, Noah." I open the bottle and take a sip, offering it to each of my brothers who, in turn, refuse with a shake of their heads. I seal the cap back on and look up at the drab and barren trees around us, remembering a time many, many years ago.

I was eight, and Mama had been teaching me to ride her horse, Blackbird, under Father's supervision of course. For some reason, he never trusted her alone with it.

I was not allowed on Blackbird by myself yet, and as we walked out to the stables, I became impatient as my mother slowly strolled, my hand in hers.

"Hurry, Mama, _hurry,_" I had said, trying to tug away from her, but she jerked my arm, bringing me closer to her.

"You know the rules, Holly. You are not to leave our sides when we are in the stables," she had said severely, and I saw my father watching us from the corner of his eyes. He probably thought I was going to try to bolt and he would have to run after me, as it had happened before. But I knew that look, and so I stayed put, though the slow pace we were walking at was driving me positively mad.

But finally, we reached the stable and Papa saddled Blackbird and led him outside. After handing me up into the saddle, he went to help my mother, who gave a light shake of her head and stood back.

"Erik, dear, perhaps you should ride with her today."

"I wouldn't mind doing so," he had mused aloud, before looking back at my mother. "But you always love to ride with Holly. Are you well?"

She had given a wide grin, nodding before saying, "I am fine, Erik, it's just I do not think I should ride, given my condition."

I had sighed, shifting impatiently on the horse.

"Condition…?" my father had repeated slowly, looking at my mother in wonder.

A slight pause had made him lean closer towards her, completely baited in before she said, "I am pregnant again, Erik."

For the next few minutes, they were all smiles and kisses and I still sat on Blackbird, a few feet away, and completely unhappy. My mother was going to have another baby? Did that mean that they would they love me less? Would I get to keep everything I had now? Was I going to have to share all my possessions, or worse, give up my room?

These questions bestowed grief upon me, and as my parents were paying no attention to me, I grabbed the reins and took off flying across the yard and into the trees, looking for solace. I ignored the calls from my parents to come back.

When I finally felt I was far away enough, I pulled the horse to a stop and dismounted. He knew better than to wander off, and so I had not bothered tying him down. Instead, I picked up a rock and threw it angrily at a nearby tree.

"It's not _fair_," I screamed. "Why do they want another baby? They already have _me_!" I then sat on a rock with my knees pulled up to my chest and cried mournfully into them. I just knew my life was ruined.

This was how my father found me, ten minutes later. I heard another horse approach, but I didn't look up.

"My dear Holly," I heard my father say before I was scooped into his arms, where he cradled me gently.

"Why are you going to have another baby?" I sobbed. "Aren't I good enough for you both? I thought you loved me."

"Oh, dearest," he said, sitting on a rock and forcing me to look up at him once I was positioned in his lap. "Is that what this is about? Do you think we will love you less because there is going to be another child in the house?"

I had nodded despondently, wiping away my tears with misery etched all over my face.

"Holly, I want you to listen to me closely." And although I did not want to, my father's beautiful and soothing voice calmed me and I looked at him wide-eyed, almost without choice. "Just because your mother and I are having another baby does not mean we will stop loving you. You are our first child, and you will always have a special place in mine and your mother's heart. Understand?"

Feeling slightly reassured, I nodded slowly before saying, "But does it have to come so soon? Will it be there when we get home?"

Father had laughed, sweeping me into his arms again before saying, "No, little one, he or she will be here a couple of months after Christmas."

Although I had felt better, I was still apprehensive when my mother gave birth seven months later to the twins. I remember being so angry with my father when I learned that my mother had given birth to _two_ babies.

"But there was only supposed to be _one_ more!" I had shouted. "You lied to me!"

"Holly," my father said, strained, "we cannot control these things. We thought it was going to be one until quite recently. Now would you like to come see your new baby brothers?"

"Brothers?" I shrieked. "They're _both _boys? I don't even get a sister?"

My father chose to ignore that comment, and led me to my mother's bedroom, where she lay, sound asleep, on her bed. My father put a finger to his lips, which were visible since he was not wearing his mask at that moment, indicating silence. I had become quite used to my father's face at that point, which had been introduced to me at an early age.

When I was three, my mother had explained delicately that my father was not born with a normal face and that it had caused him much pain in his life. She then had my father, who was trembling, come into the room to show me what he truly looked liked.

"I do not want to frighten her, Audrey. She is only a child," he had whispered brokenly, but my mother had a steely expression on, and had removed the mask slowly.

Though shocked at first, I had quickly learned to accept it as his regular face and he seldom wore his mask anymore, except when there was company. The only people who visited though were my aunts, including my mother's two sisters and a couple of her friends, and their husbands, my uncles. He sometimes went maskless if it was just his dearest friend, Nadir, but that was about it.

But when I first looked down at my brothers in their crib, I could not help but wrinkle my nose in disdain. They were shrunken and red, and looked nothing like a normal person should.

"Papa," I had said, reaching down to touch one of them. "They look so strange."

"Well that's because they were just born, my heart," he whispered, bending down next to me.

"What are their names?" I asked curiously, wanting to know what to call these bizarre and foreign creatures.

"This one, here," Father said, touching the one on the left, "is Noah William, and the other is Colton Drake."

"How come they get two names?" I sniffed.

"You have two names as well, Holly Rae."

"Oh," I had brilliantly replied, but was soon ushered out of the room so that my mother and the boys could rest. And that's what they were from then on out: the boys.

I don't think I began liking them until I could actually play with them. It was fun watching their personalities shape individually. Colton lived up to his stronger name and had a more prominent personality. He was the one more likely to get into trouble, and he was also my sidekick in anything I wanted done. Noah, on the other hand, was much like father in the way that he was reserved and loved music.

From an early age, Papa had recognized that in him and had taught him to play any instrument he could get his hands on. Noah could be temperamental and antisocial sometimes, but most of the time he was friendly and liked to be around us.

As for Colton, he was immediately attracted to anything outside, always exploring and climbing and hiking. He was more like Mother in the way that he was adventurous. It was no surprise to any of us when he joined the armed forces when he was eighteen in order to see the world.

I fell somewhere in the middle of them. I could be daring in the way Noah was not, but was often held back by Papa who treated me like a delicate flower. I was, therefore, forced to outlet my energy into other things, which was usually painting. My mother was thrilled with this, and always kept me supplied with whatever I wanted. She and I would often go out riding for an entire day to a beautiful site where we would picnic and I would paint.

I had even once painted a striking family portrait when I was sixteen, arranging us to show how we looked like one another in a way.

For example, I have my mother's soft facial features, but my father's dark hair, though his was not the brilliant raven color it had been in his youth anymore. I also have my mother's blue eyes and petite body.

My brothers, on the other hand, look a lot more like our mother. They both have messy blonde hair, but our father's strong jaw. Both are tall and wiry, much like Papa, though Colton has more muscle due to his living. Their eyes are also the eerie yellow color of our father's, which is set off brilliantly by their golden hair. Though they look the same, they are also somehow different. I can look into Noah's eyes and see his depth and intelligence, but I can look into Colton's and see his mischievous nature and playfulness.

"About ready?" Colton asks, interrupting my reminiscing.

"Yes," I reply, and with my brothers' help, get back to my feet, to which we continue our progress up the hill.

"I won't bloody come here again until I've had this baby," I grumble as I waddle beside Colton and Noah, both assisting me with an arm.

"Is your family excited about the newest addition to your family?" Noah asks, looking at me curiously.

"Yes they are," I reply. "Austin couldn't be more thrilled," I say, referring to my husband. "Cody and Natalie are eager as well."

"How cordial of your children not to have any ill feelings towards their new brother or sister on the way," Colton teases me and I groan.

"I will forever regret telling you that story!" I had told him of my breakdown before his and Noah's birth a few months ago, and he hasn't let me forget it.

"She grew to love us," Noah says with a small smile and I nod in agreement.

"That is right, even though you can irritate me more than anyone on Earth. Well, at least you can, Colton."

"Hilarious, Holly," he says, and we make the rest of the journey in silence. It takes another ten minutes, but finally, we are there in that familiar clearing. Two years ago, Mother was making the trek with us to visit Father's graveside, but now she has joined him.

We all three stare respectively down at the tombstones engraved with our parent's names, the only thing left of them now. Tears sting my eyes as I reach a hand out to smooth it over the top of the stone.

"I miss them," I whisper.

Colton surprises me by putting an arm around my shoulders and pulling me to him. "I do too," he says.

I look at Noah who is silent. He took our parent's deaths particularly hard, as he is the most emotional. I reach out and wrap my arms around his waist and pull him to us, forcing him to join our small huddle.

"They lived a good life, Mom and Papa did," I say, reassuring my younger brothers, but in turn, myself as well.

But I wish more than anything my parents were here to help welcome my third child, Noah's first, and see Colton get married, a feat we had all seriously doubted would happen but he surprised us all with the news of his engagement a couple of weeks back. And with Noah's wife three months pregnant, it was sure to be an eventful year. Their absence will be well noted.

I shiver, for it is miserably cold and bitter, and my brothers, taking note of this, agree it is too cold to stay outside, especially in my condition. I grudgingly agree, and let them pull me away from where my parents had been laid to rest, six years ago in my father's case, and two years ago in my mother's.

"Besides," Colton says as we begin our descent away from the cemetery, "Uncle Nadir is expecting us for dinner, and I bet Aunt Dana has prepared a feast!"

And so we walk together, arms entwined, away from the people who created, cared, and loved us for as long as they could. Death was unwilling to keep them parted for long, and although my heart is in a constant ache for them, I am glad they have been joined in Heaven, once again. I cannot be selfish and wish my mother was still here with us, because wherever she is, I know she is with my father, which, ultimately, is the place where she belongs.

_fin._

--

**Genny's Note: Wow! What a journey this story has been for me. I am so sad to see that it is over, but I am so excited to move on with my new story! As for when that will be appearing, it will just depend on when I believe I am far enough into it that I can begin posting, so keep your eyes open! I may even post a small preview of it after this chapter in the next few weeks, so keep watch on your story updates!**

**Also, I have been considering writing a small companion piece to this with different scenes from Holly, Colton, and Noah's childhood. I thought that it may be fun to write, and in turn, fun for you guys to read. What do you think?**

**And thank you so much for all of your support. Thank you to anyone who reviewed or put this story on their alerts or favorites. I hope you had just as much enjoyment reading it as I did writing it.**

**Until **_**Interim,  
**_**Genny**

**Final Note: Before anyone asks, I did mean for this chapter to be in present tense instead of the past tense that the rest of the story was in. I was looking for an added effect on the epilogue, and the different time-tense adds to it.  
**


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